ali Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 We haven't had any visitors this last year which has been quite nice to be honest, but in the few years previous to that my dad visited 3 times, my in-laws have been twice, my brother in law and his family (and friends for a week). Whilst it's very exciting them coming, it isn't without it's pitfalls and complications either, spending a considerable time with people (my in-laws stayed for 3 months), can cause frustrations. Having said that we love seeing people and it is worth it ... but for those new to the visitors perhaps those of us who have been through it can highlight some of them so the newbies to Aus can be prepared. For Me: Expense: .. having visitors means eating out more, more shopping (often feeding 2 families), more excursions (often to places you've been before) and you spend much more money than you're normally used to. My two children are now older so cheap meals out are a thing of the past ... oh the days when they had chicken nuggetts and chips off the kids menu lol. I tend to plan meals in advance and buy extra in the weeks leading up to visitors, extra meat in the freezer etc so that I'm not having really big shops. Length of Stay: People don't come all this way to spend a week (usually), my dad stays 6 weeks, my in-laws last visit was for 12 weeks Annual Leave: You don't get a lot here, so our visitors know that we won't be having lots of time off with them and that we'll do things at weekend. Depending on your visitors and how much they like to 'help out' (or not) this can be difficult as you're still working, shopping, cooking, cleaning, doing schoolwork and being Ruth Maddock entertaining everyone when you get home. Your guests are often in 'holiday' mode whilst you're not. Disrupting the House: Depending on number of guests ... re-organisation of bedrooms is sometimes inevitable (especially if you've got a family visiting), whilst the kids say they don't mind giving up rooms or sharing ... there's always a sense of relief when they get their room back. Do you take money for food? We don't although we've always appreciated that people have offered, our guest will contribute to beer/wine and my dad will often go out and buy stuff and make dinner for us and our guests tend to give us a money gift to buy something for the house/garden at the end of their stay and will often pay for a meal out. Having said all that - it really is wonderful to see family and friends and without exception our family visitors have all enjoyed their time here and thought we've made a pretty good life for ourselves. So any of the old hands got any more advice?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PontePom Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 We have Pam's Sister and Bother in law arriving 2 weeks today Really looking forward to it Will be able to answer better after they've been lol Pam's Mum stayed with us for just under 4 weeks and it was great but after 3 weeks I was counting the days in a nice way though It was too long for her. Pam's Mum paid us nothing as we wouldn't take it anyways Julie and Col will be chipping in towards the shopping and a bit of fuel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 We've had my parents come out twice in 4 years. No one else seems to be interested, or rich enough to come here on holiday, unfortunately! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JK2510 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 We have OHs mum and dad with us....we are on day 6....omg....what an adventure it is....we have given up 2 bedrooms,we are tour guides/drivers,OHs dad won't hire a car and won't really put in any input into what they want...ATM they are paying for trips out,meals out and tbh we are letting them...:laugh:...we are buying all the food at home....going back to work for a break tomorrow...:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 I always feel a bit guilty after a few weeks because i'm not used to having people around who I have to consider e.g. I go to bed early(ish) to read, normally I'd just say goodnight and off I go, but then you have the "we've got visitors, they'll think it's rude etc., Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JK2510 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 We aren't used to having people around...spending all day with family and then all night is quite mentally draining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JK2510 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 But I enjoy showing them the wonderful area we live in....grown to appreciate what is on our doorstep more than ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PontePom Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 But I enjoy showing them the wonderful area we live in....grown to appreciate what is on our doorstep more than ever. This is what we can't wait to do Pam's Mum loved it so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest17301 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 We've had several visitors, same people several times should I say! Mum, Aunt and Nana and in laws, 6 visits in just under 4 years.....shortest visit 2 weeks, longest 8 weeks I find it hard work when the visitors just sit around doing nothing going nowhere and waiting for weekends and days off to be entertained..at least thats how it feels at times! It is nice to go out as a tourist and do all those touristy things again...expensive, we tend to take turns paying for lunch/coffee etc and we do accept but never ask for contributions for longer stays...we tried refusing the in laws but they insist, most times we've been left a gift for the house and kids or a sum of cash.... The shoe was on the other foot when we visited the UK though and I found it surprisingly easy to slip into lazy visitor mode! Did washing up etc after meals but everything else seemed to be taken care of automatically! We're always told we're good hosts though and people feel at home and welcome so we must be doing something right! I think it's best when guests adapt to your way of doing things, I find it hard to cope with endless toilet trips in the night from the older guests with weak bladders! We need a granny flat or an en suite room! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I think guests don't realise how much more expensive it is having them there, it's not just food, but gas, water and electric. Most guests stay a max of a week as they want to explore other parts of Oz. Family a bit longer. There is only my mum who comes for a full 3 months usually and she gives us $200 a week, buys the kids things and if we go out for a meal one day I'll pay the next she does. We don't ask her for money as at the end of the day it's cheaper getting her to come out than five of us going back. We never seem to have our house to ourselves which is hard when the kids have to give up their bedroom, but it's my fault for saying yes to everyone. I would say 99% of our guests have bought us something when they leave and given us a thank you card. I even received a lovely thank you card off Britchickx and she was only with me for the day lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tickled Pink Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I've kind of put an unofficial cap on visitor length of stays, four weeks max on a continuous stint. I find it exhausting, as someone has already said, having to work and be an entertainer, cleaner, cook, guide etc etc becomes incredibly draining. I agree that it is also really frustrating when I find they do very little to help... fair enough if its for one week, but when it goes far beyond that my nerves become stretched to say the least... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicolac34 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I agree with everything that's been said so far! We've been here 17 months and in that time we've had my parents come out for 4 weeks, a friend from Uni come and stay for 5 weeks, a friend from the UK for 2 weeks, a couple on their honeymoon (friends) for 2 weeks, my sister has come to live with us to go to Uni and we are expecting OH's parents in March for a week. I don't so much mind people staying with us and I'm more than happy to put them up - but I don't like having to be chief entertainer for any given length of time. I want people to come out here with their own ideas on what they want to see and do, we are happy to lend them the use of our car so want them to get out and explore! We've had a few that do sit around and wait for us to take them anywhere, and as we've done most touristy things already we aren't all that keen to repeat them so frequently. Annual Leave days is a bit of a bug bear for me, with so few on offer I'm reluctant to take them off when people visit just to play tour guide - I want to use them for my own holidays! Also it does seem that everyone who has been so far wants to go down to Margaret River, we're off back down again in March, that will be like the 6th time since we got here, and it's never cheap! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 We've had family from both sides visit us for long periods. When my parents and the in-laws came for 2 months each we realised that this was just too much and too wearing to all be under the one roof for so long. They are in holiday mode too and think that they are staying in a resort or something. We decided to tell them that 6 weeks was the maximum they would be able to stay if they wanted to come again and we would let our parents know if they asked to come for longer. Not long after that my in-laws rang and were talking to my wife about coming for 3 months. She was too scared to tell them that we had decided on the 6 weeks limit, her Dad can be a bit overwhelming. My Son, about 5 at the time, heard us having a discussion about it and I said she would have to tell them the next time they rang. Her Dad rang the next week and my son answered the phone. I heard him say hello Grandad and before we could get the phone off him he said "i hear you want to come for 3 months, that's fine by me but I don't think paul's very happy". Luckily he had realised that they were overstepping the mark and was ringing to say they were not coming for that long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I don't know where you're getting all these visitors from! We beg people to come and see us, to no avail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tickled Pink Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 We have the next lot coming in Feb if you want them Dom?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I don't know where you're getting all these visitors from! We beg people to come and see us, to no avail. Maybe they say we're not going to stay with that whingeing pom again are we and go to Benidorm instead. Only a joke Harpo, I'm sure you're a lovely bloke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 We have the next lot coming in Feb if you want them Dom?? thanks, you're too kind... Maybe they say we're not going to stay with that whingeing pom again are we and go to Benidorm instead. Only a joke Harpo, I'm sure you're a lovely bloke. very kind mate. Actually I'm the joker of the family. I don't think the word 'whinge' would come to mind if friends/family describe me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 FIL is coming over Christmas for 4 or 5 weeks. He's a pretty easy guest luckily and just fits in. He doesn't help with housework or anything (he doesn't do anything in his own house really) but will watch the kids so I can get stuff done etc. He has no interest in exploring or seeing anything though so it can get a little bit cramped feeling after a few weeks. Parents are hoping to come over in the Autumn. Hopefully they will hire a car so can see a little bit but understandably they are coming to see us and the kids so won't venture very far. They'll look after themselves a little bit with food as my dad is very fussy and we live off stuff he won't touch (pasta, spicy food etc). My sister came over for a bit earlier in the year. It was ok but she was definitely in holiday mode - putting out her washing for me, not offering to buy or cook anything. I didn't mind too much as it was only for a couple of weeks but any longer and it would've got a bit much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I don't think I'd mind if we had a spare room, but with the last family who stayed we had to give up two bedrooms and have kids sleeping in our room, one on a camp bed the other we bought a single bed and put it next to ours, it was a very long 12 weeks sharing a room with two kids who talk, walk and pass wind in their sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I don't know where you're getting all these visitors from! We beg people to come and see us, to no avail. Dom we can easily solve this we will just put up a thread "Free board and lodgings at Doms" minimum stay 12 weeks, after a few guests you will be thankful you don't get people visiting lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Dom we can easily solve this we will just put up a thread "Free board and lodgings at Doms" minimum stay 12 weeks, after a few guests you will be thankful you don't get people visiting lol you're quite right Kate. Actually I'm a terrible host. Unless you bring your own beer, wine, crisps, and f456 off to bed at 10pm, as Arnie would say, "Forgeddaboudid" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicolac34 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Having said we get a lot of guests, my brother and his fiancé do bear the brunt of the family visits due to the size of their house. When my parents came to stay they positioned themselves with them mostly and only stayed with us a few nights here and there. My sister was staying with them until they decided she was so intolerable they kicked her out to come stay with us!! They do have a 5 bedroomed house for the two of them and we are in a very small 2 bed flat - so I think that's fair! And whoever commented about their sister putting her washing out for you - WTF?! I'd have kicked it back into her room! I think once we're over the initial flurry of visitors then then trend will die off, all the friends that could afford it have been already, my parents have their parental visa application in so will be coming under their own steam anyway and I can't see the OH's family making a yearly pilgrimage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Shoes Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I remember when we first moved to Spain my dad came to visit and he said ' you will have to buy a people carrier for when people come to stay', I think he thought we were running a 4 star hotel lol, it made me laugh but I was cross too ...... Just felt that people can take advantage when we live abroad, I bought a small 2 door hatch & my MIL said ' I don't like two door cars they are dangerous', so when she came we refused to pay for a hire car because we already had. 4 seater, so she hired a people carrier lol, :wink: mind though we now have a 4 door saloon and the MIL won't come, too far, pity really because we would love her to stay :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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