Quoll Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I always knew that Australia was not for me for ever but I stuck it for 32 year (5 months and 3 days) and now find myself back in UK unexpectedly and the difference it has made to my life has been nothing short of amazing and I wish I had managed to persuade the DH to move back about 20 years ago when the adventure began to fade. I really got fed up of feeling like an alien, I just did not "belong" despite all logic to the contrary and knowledge that Australia was my "home". Now I belong and I couldnt be happier With a teenager though you are in a different space. Basically she has no option, the best thing is probably not to buy into the woe is me but to put it back onto her and get her to come up with some ideas about how she can make her life better. The more she sees that it pulls your strings, the more power that gives her and the less likely you are to make headway. If you are sure that this is where you want to stay then she has to suck it up. If you are ambivalent about this being the place you want to plant yourself and push up daisies then consider when you would be moving on and what stage her education would be at - if you think that you would move on in, say, a couple of years then consider whether her education might be better pursued in UK than Australia and how could you facilitate that (staying with rellies, boarding school or whatever). When she is old enough she is going to do her own thing anyway and dont be surprised if she ups sticks and heads off like many young Aussies do. At least she will have the capacity to live and work in UK if that is what she wants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathancowen Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Hi, Well I knew the moment I stepped out of the airport and felt the heat, but in fairness I never wanted to come here at all. (my wife wanted to be near her parents) I've been luck in as much that in the 18 months we have been here I've been able to spend 8 of them back home with work and familly stuff. Most, if not all people will tell you that she'll grow out of it, or she's probably missing her friends but at 38 years old and having spent a lot of time away from home and all I know, whilst travelling and living 300miles from home in the past, I am confident to say that Australia is not for everyone, I hate it here and can't wait to leave again, and have only been back 75.5hrs. Good luck with whatever you decide. Ps I believe that Queensland is the worst place we could have ever moved to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loopylu Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Hi, Well I knew the moment I stepped out of the airport and felt the heat, but in fairness I never wanted to come here at all. (my wife wanted to be near her parents) I've been luck in as much that in the 18 months we have been here I've been able to spend 8 of them back home with work and familly stuff. Most, if not all people will tell you that she'll grow out of it, or she's probably missing her friends but at 38 years old and having spent a lot of time away from home and all I know, whilst travelling and living 300miles from home in the past, I am confident to say that Australia is not for everyone, I hate it here and can't wait to leave again, and have only been back 75.5hrs. Good luck with whatever you decide. Ps I believe that Queensland is the worst place we could have ever moved to. Hi Jonathan I moved to Qld too, more for my Aussie husband's sake than mine as he is from Brisbane. We've been here over 4 years now and it can be hard at times. However, my husband spent 15 years in the UK and I think that it is only fair that we spend some time in his home country so that he can see his family more and feel "at home". Out of interest, what do you dislike so much about Qld? For me it is the way that Qlders treat outsiders, the lack of humour, the overt consumerism, lack of history, bogans.... For the first three years I tried to make friends with Aussies and not to pursue British friends. However, the only Aussie friends I have are through my husband. I don't have any Aussie friends that I made from my own efforts and not for want of trying. In the last year I have given in and made friends with a group of ladies from the UK, South Africa, NZ who are fun, also looking for friends and are a great support network. Perhaps you need to find some British friends to restore your sanity? Try to think more positively otherwise you'll be totally miserable. All the best Loopylu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Julz Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Hi, Well I knew the moment I stepped out of the airport and felt the heat, but in fairness I never wanted to come here at all. (my wife wanted to be near her parents) I've been luck in as much that in the 18 months we have been here I've been able to spend 8 of them back home with work and familly stuff. Most, if not all people will tell you that she'll grow out of it, or she's probably missing her friends but at 38 years old and having spent a lot of time away from home and all I know, whilst travelling and living 300miles from home in the past, I am confident to say that Australia is not for everyone, I hate it here and can't wait to leave again, and have only been back 75.5hrs. Good luck with whatever you decide. Ps I believe that Queensland is the worst place we could have ever moved to. Having lived in QLD and the NT...the NT (Darwin) is far worse, imagine your hottest, swettiest day in QLD and have that every single day and night, its not much fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stitch Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Hi, we have been living in Queensland for 3 months. Although we really like it not sure if we will stay long term. My 13 year old daughter is really homesick, crying at night saying she wants to go home. I am hoping she will settle in time but wonder if anyone else can give advice. I know it's early days but it's breaking my heart seeing her so upset. I think I mentioned my reply in a previous post - the day I stepped off the plane just over 6 years ago! I have certainly given things a go here. Hubby loves it but happy to go back for me. Youngest daughter aged 11 now really doesn't know the UK at all but misses the people terribly. My oldest son will be 15 in Jan and has gone back in August to the UK to live with his grandparents for a while (attends school etc there). He has settled in really well and is loving everything about it. We struggle here as we did in the UK and I could probably deal with the missing people bit if life wasnt as hard. I really want to move back and hopefully can next year.....just gotta wait and see. It's a tough one and there is no easy answer... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tontastic Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 After the first week! I had been to Perth on holiday and so on and though I knew what I was getting into. The reality of living here is somewhat different. Leaving Friday, can't come soon enough! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kungfustu Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 As our adventure unfolded day by day we realised pretty much straight away that it wasnt going to be for us, it wasnt a torturous experience, we enjoyed many parts of our life.....just had a much better one in the UK. Best parts were the beaches, worst parts were the bl##dy flies! Interestingly we never experienced rude ozzies or humourless ozzies, we met a handfall and they were fine, we found the poms more of a problem, very very clichy and not very welcoming, plenty of little groups that just did not want to let anyone else in, for us they were the unfriendly ones, Im convinced that they felt they had their friends, they had their social lives sorted and were afraid if they let others in to their circle it may well result in them losing out, it was a survival of the fittest, sort of batten down the hatches type of attitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sven31 Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 australia is better than britten Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 australia is better than britten Wow, that is very profound, where is this Britten you speak of ? LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 australia is better than britten Would that be Benjamin? There may even be some debate about that LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dianaos Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Hi, we have been living in Queensland for 3 months. Although we really like it not sure if we will stay long term. My 13 year old daughter is really homesick, crying at night saying she wants to go home. I am hoping she will settle in time but wonder if anyone else can give advice. I know it's early days but it's breaking my heart seeing her so upset. I moved to the UK from Oz just over 10years ago. My daughter moved with me when she was 14. It probably took me 12 months to get over the homesickness and in the first 6 months I would often cry because I was missing family and friends. What I started to do is find replacements for the things I missed in Oz. - Friends - I went out and found friends, met up at pubs and joined in with community events. - Foods - I tried most of the UK iconic foods and worked out the ones I really liked and ate them when I was missing Oz foods. (Still bought Vegemite over here though) - got used to walking upstairs to bed...still can't cope with pillar taps in bathrooms. - got out in all types of weather and got involved again with horses...can't get away from the weather if you have to exercise your horse or muck out their stable! This really helped my daughter as well. It helped with friends and getting out of the house so there was no time dwell on where and what we had left. And most importantly I stopped telling myself or anyone else..."This is the way we do it in Oz". Apart from the fact that everyone else soon gets sick of you, if you are always comparing everything to where you used to live you will never settle in your new home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 We knew pretty quickly as well,Aus was nothing like we envisaged,in so many ways,,,too many to mention. .Its not always easy to get home either, Its such a huge financial commitement to get here, and it can be extremely hard to get home,with your finances in tact.Unfortuantly for many,that never happens. The Homesickness for us, has got worse (something we would never have believed possible). I love reading the posts from those that have returned, I get really excited for them, and its lovely to read that returning home is so wonderful for so many. Our turn will come!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnaross Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 It's the Olympic Games opening ceremony's fault. My wife has always said she would never want to leave Australia from the moment she stepped into Australia through the arrivals door at Brisbane International 18 years ago. Suddenly it all changed and she realised she wanted to go "home" and she missed the UK. I have always been British at heart and even the podcasts I listen feature the UK newspod news rather the abc am and follow football via five live football and the 5 live football phone in. Pretty well every podcast I listen to comes from the UK including Friday night comedy, Desert Island Disc, the Archers etc etc. So when my wife suddenly had an attack of homesickness it was a no brainer to do the research and work out the viability of a permanent return. So now the house is up for sale and off we go. But the wait is a real killer because you end up in a no mans land with no way of making plans for the UK and no point in making long or medium term plans in Australia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 australia is better than britten Where's Britten? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wakeboard1980 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Your last paragraph is 100% spot on. Aus is not the UK and the UK os not Aus. Sometimes on here you see that people get so worked up over some of the things, and food, that is different. Its a little wonder people go home. I moved to the UK from Oz just over 10years ago. My daughter moved with me when she was 14. It probably took me 12 months to get over the homesickness and in the first 6 months I would often cry because I was missing family and friends. What I started to do is find replacements for the things I missed in Oz. - Friends - I went out and found friends, met up at pubs and joined in with community events. - Foods - I tried most of the UK iconic foods and worked out the ones I really liked and ate them when I was missing Oz foods. (Still bought Vegemite over here though) - got used to walking upstairs to bed...still can't cope with pillar taps in bathrooms. - got out in all types of weather and got involved again with horses...can't get away from the weather if you have to exercise your horse or muck out their stable! This really helped my daughter as well. It helped with friends and getting out of the house so there was no time dwell on where and what we had left. And most importantly I stopped telling myself or anyone else..."This is the way we do it in Oz". Apart from the fact that everyone else soon gets sick of you, if you are always comparing everything to where you used to live you will never settle in your new home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarletteve Posted November 10, 2012 Author Share Posted November 10, 2012 Hi, we have been living in Queensland for 3 months. Although we really like it not sure if we will stay long term. My 13 year old daughter is really homesick, crying at night saying she wants to go home. I am hoping she will settle in time but wonder if anyone else can give advice. I know it's early days but it's breaking my heart seeing her so upset. Thank you for all your replies. We are now 6 months in and she still wants to go home! The crying has stopped but every couple of days she will ask me if we can go. She has friends here but says they are not the same as at home. The problem is I also now feel like I want to go back!!! (I haven't told my daughter this because I don't want to give her false hope) but I am struggling to see that our lives are better here. Yes the fact that you can be outdoors a lot more and the weather is a big plus, but for me that's about it. I know everyone will say I'm mad and I've been given a golden chance for a life out here but being honest I think I preferred my life in the UK. We both had good jobs and a good lifestyle, we just fancied giving oz a try as a few friends of ours have done it and loved it here. My husband says he won't stay here forever but would like to stay a few years and get the most out of it but it feels like a life sentence for me! I know it sounds pathetic and most would say to just get on with it but I miss my family so much and every week feels like forever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Thank you for all your replies. We are now 6 months in and she still wants to go home! The crying has stopped but every couple of days she will ask me if we can go. She has friends here but says they are not the same as at home.The problem is I also now feel like I want to go back!!! (I haven't told my daughter this because I don't want to give her false hope) but I am struggling to see that our lives are better here. Yes the fact that you can be outdoors a lot more and the weather is a big plus, but for me that's about it. I know everyone will say I'm mad and I've been given a golden chance for a life out here but being honest I think I preferred my life in the UK. We both had good jobs and a good lifestyle, we just fancied giving oz a try as a few friends of ours have done it and loved it here. My husband says he won't stay here forever but would like to stay a few years and get the most out of it but it feels like a life sentence for me! I know it sounds pathetic and most would say to just get on with it but I miss my family so much and every week feels like forever The only people who will say you are mad to go back are the people who have never lived and worked in oz, they just think it is like the glossy tv programmes that hey watch, if only they knew the truth that it is like anywhere else in the world to live, a bit more sun but is that honestly worth what people have got in the UK? I would love to see these people who think the UK is terrible and tell you that you are mad to return spend one year working and living in oz, I bet a lot would be returning also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northernbird Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 As our adventure unfolded day by day we realised pretty much straight away that it wasnt going to be for us, it wasnt a torturous experience, we enjoyed many parts of our life.....just had a much better one in the UK. Best parts were the beaches, worst parts were the bl##dy flies! Interestingly we never experienced rude ozzies or humourless ozzies, we met a handfall and they were fine, we found the poms more of a problem, very very clichy and not very welcoming, plenty of little groups that just did not want to let anyone else in, for us they were the unfriendly ones, Im convinced that they felt they had their friends, they had their social lives sorted and were afraid if they let others in to their circle it may well result in them losing out, it was a survival of the fittest, sort of batten down the hatches type of attitude. This is my experience too. I have a handful of friends that aren't Australians. I went to many coffee meets during my first year here and some of the women I met were truly awful. I have remained friends with about 5 ladies from those early days. The ones that didn't get the hump if you made an arrangement with one lady and not another. Backstabbing bitches doesn't come close to describing some of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest crystal-gaze Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 (edited) Thank you for all your replies. We are now 6 months in and she still wants to go home! The crying has stopped but every couple of days she will ask me if we can go. She has friends here but says they are not the same as at home.The problem is I also now feel like I want to go back!!! (I haven't told my daughter this because I don't want to give her false hope) but I am struggling to see that our lives are better here. Yes the fact that you can be outdoors a lot more and the weather is a big plus, but for me that's about it. I know everyone will say I'm mad and I've been given a golden chance for a life out here but being honest I think I preferred my life in the UK. We both had good jobs and a good lifestyle, we just fancied giving oz a try as a few friends of ours have done it and loved it here. My husband says he won't stay here forever but would like to stay a few years and get the most out of it but it feels like a life sentence for me! I know it sounds pathetic and most would say to just get on with it but I miss my family so much and every week feels like forever You are not a lone or pathetic I can totally relate to all you are saying as we have been living it too. We return to UK in January & we are counting the days. I think we felt the reason we were thinking give it a try & stay was because we took so long to get here & think what a waste of money & time. I`ve made my peace with that now beside my mental health is worth more than money or sunshine & I look forward to going home. Believe me make the decision & stick to it, it is the limbo of stay/go that gives the most stress, I think. Good luck Edited November 10, 2012 by crystal-gaze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarletteve Posted November 10, 2012 Author Share Posted November 10, 2012 You are not a lone or pathetic I can totally relate to all you are saying as we have been living it too. We return to UK in January & we are counting the days. I think we felt the reason we were thinking give it a try & stay was because we took so long to get here & think what a waste of money & time. I`ve made my peace with that now beside my mental health is worth more than money or sunshine & I look forward to going home. Believe me make the decision & stick to it, it is the limbo of stay/go that gives the most stress, I think. Good luck Yes I can understand that, I think that's why my husband would like to stay longer to justify the money and effort we have put in. How long have you been in oz? I now many people say 6 months is nothing but I think when you know you 'just know'. I totally agree about the limbo thing aswell. I am battling with myself everyday but I honestly don't think we will regret it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarletteve Posted November 10, 2012 Author Share Posted November 10, 2012 Sorry for spelling mistakes! Bloody iPad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest crystal-gaze Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Yes I can understand that, I think that's why my husband would like to stay longer to justify the money and effort we have put in. How long have you been in oz? I now many people say 6 months is nothing but I think when you know you 'just know'. I totally agree about the limbo thing aswell. I am battling with myself everyday but I honestly don't think we will regret it Gotta love the ipad, not as bad as the autocorrect on most mobile phones I suppose? We arrived June this year, 1st month the honeymoon period but cracks forming, 2nd months cracks became craters, 3rd month emotional meltdown realising what have I done, this isn`t for me, miss my old life desperately. Never experienced such high level stress, isolation, depression, had a heart to heart with hubbie (who wanted to stay) agreed to go back, 4th months flights booked & dark clouds lifting, exceptance that going home. 5th & 6th months marking time really now, but life a lot better, looking forward to January when we fly home when lease ends on our apartment. Don`t regret decision, my son is so happy & contented now, happy children happy mum. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Thank you for all your replies. We are now 6 months in and she still wants to go home! The crying has stopped but every couple of days she will ask me if we can go. She has friends here but says they are not the same as at home.The problem is I also now feel like I want to go back!!! (I haven't told my daughter this because I don't want to give her false hope) but I am struggling to see that our lives are better here. Yes the fact that you can be outdoors a lot more and the weather is a big plus, but for me that's about it. I know everyone will say I'm mad and I've been given a golden chance for a life out here but being honest I think I preferred my life in the UK. We both had good jobs and a good lifestyle, we just fancied giving oz a try as a few friends of ours have done it and loved it here. My husband says he won't stay here forever but would like to stay a few years and get the most out of it but it feels like a life sentence for me! I know it sounds pathetic and most would say to just get on with it but I miss my family so much and every week feels like forever For a start not everyone will say you are mad and has already been stated those that will make such a stupid comment almost invariably havent even been to Australia let alone lived there. There is this common perception that Australia is some sort of paradise where everyone works 1 hour a day and spends the rest of the day on the beach or having a BBQ. You are not stupid and you are not pathetic, it is very very common. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celt Down Under Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 For a start not everyone will say you are mad and has already been stated those that will make such a stupid comment almost invariably havent even been to Australia let alone lived there. There is this common perception that Australia is some sort of paradise where everyone works 1 hour a day and spends the rest of the day on the beach or having a BBQ. You are not stupid and you are not pathetic, it is very very common. Where the heck did you come up with that from? With all the information at hand in todays digital age, anyone who comes out here with that perception is a complete nutter. What a stupid comment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 No, it is not a stupid comment at all, it was very obviously a gross exaggeration based on some of the outrageous comments made on forums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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