Those that started thinking about moving back to Uk early on.....

[Somgirl]

Wife's been back nearly 2 weeks now and is glad she has returned.

 

As for your comment about British bulldog spirit , that's bs.

 

Took me a lot of determination to get here, why should I put my kids through unhappiness when I can turn around and take them home. There's nothing big and clever about saying " yes we stayed here for two years and made the whole family miserable, when we had the chance to go after a few months but were too stupid to take it ". Bs !

 

I think you are doing the right thing for you and your family. I think I read on one of your earlier posts, that your visa conditions dictate that you start a business and invest money therein. I think in view of this you and yours have to be sure that this is where you want to be long term. If there is any doubt it's not worth the investment and this is the time for you and your family to make this decision. Good luck back in the Uk and let us now how it goes. How long till you go back yourself?

:biggrin:

[Guest Julz]

I wouldn't say I am trolling. More a voice of reason. At some point you'll have to face the fact: to most reasonable people you did not spend hardly enough time 'giving it ago' before packing up your tent.. Sorry if that smarts.

 

Who cares if he "hardly spend enough time giving it a go"......a reasonable time for some people may be 2 months and for others 2 years.....its their life!

[cartertucker]

^^ So true ~ Our lives & we decide whats best for our own Familys in the long run...We have decided that we should stay to get citizenship, that way if we do return to the UK, our children will always be able to return when they are older, should they so choose :yes:

[ghost]

Hi somgirl

 

I have two weeks to go, two weeks today in fact. Your right in your comment. We do actually like it here. But what people who read this thread fail to understand , is going home it far more than just an emotional draw of the uk. It's weighing up all the pros and cons and seeing what comes out on top. Some are emotional, some are financial and some are just practical.

 

Its good to know that people like yourself have actually read all my posts and regardless of your own situation , offer support and understanding, as opposed to others who seem to be full of unrequested "advice"

 

Love and peace

 

Ghost 

[Somgirl]

Hi somgirl

 

I have two weeks to go, two weeks today in fact. Your right in your comment. We do actually like it here. But what people who read this thread fail to understand , is going home it far more than just an emotional draw of the uk. It's weighing up all the pros and cons and seeing what comes out on top. Some are emotional, some are financial and some are just practical.

 

Its good to know that people like yourself have actually read all my posts and regardless of your own situation , offer support and understanding, as opposed to others who seem to be full of unrequested "advice"

 

Love and peace

 

Ghost 

 

Well, as far as I am concerned that's what a forum is all about. It's not about trying to convince people that the decisions they have made are wrong for them, and that 'they' know better. Everybody's decision about what they do, or where they live is unique to them, it's not a question of right or wrong.

[Guest guest17301]

^^ So true ~ Our lives & we decide whats best for our own Familys in the long run...We have decided that we should stay to get citizenship, that way if we do return to the UK, our children will always be able to return when they are older, should they so choose :yes:

 

Wise move. For all of you!

 

[Guest guest17301]

Well, as far as I am concerned that's what a forum is all about. It's not about trying to convince people that the decisions they have made are wrong for them, and that 'they' know better. Everybody's decision about what they do, or where they live is unique to them, it's not a question of right or wrong.

 

:notworthy:

Very well put

[Paul1Perth]

When I got to oz I couldn't settle easily and felt very homesick. I was home with the kids and hubby out working, it was pretty lonely not being able to pick up the phone and hear a friend's voice or pop in for coffee.

It didn't help that I kept looking at PIO and finding people who agreed with me (about the differences in oz v uk), even met with one girl and we'd meet and discuss how we didn't like oz - soooo not a clever thing to do.

I've been back in the uk a few years now and we're discussing trying oz again. Truth is I know I didn't give it long enough and hubby loved it, for him it was a much better work/life balance than in the uk.

I also followed my friends on facebook constantly and felt that I was missing out time with them. These days the friends that I missed so much I hardly ever see and its not because they live far away!

Try to make the most of your time in oz, always remind yourself why you left the uk in the first place. I just think that if you don't give it long enough you'll end up wondering 'what if...' which isn't so great.

 

 

I also followed my friends on facebook constantly and felt that I was missing out time with them.

 

That struck a chord with me. We have some friends from Liverpool who've been here a few years. They were fine and settled till they went back on holiday. People made a big fuss and they went out a lot to their old haunts. When they got back here I was talking to the husband and he seemed really unsettled and started talking about how his friends all seemed to be doing OK and a couple of them were off to Ibiza for a holiday. He had started a facebook page and kept in touch with them. I just said what are you talking about? You live in a better place than Ibiza and earn a lot more than the friends he was talking about. He sort of had a minute where he sat and thought and then said no-one had really put it like that (he had only been back about a week) and he had never really thought about it himself like that.

 

That was about a year ago and we didn't know at the time but they were seriously considering returning. A few weeks later we caught up with them again and they had settled back in and thanked us for the pep talk, said it sort of put things back in perspective. They still follow there friends but the friends have now started inquiring how they can get over here, seems things weren't quite as rosy as they made out when they were all in holiday mode.

[Paul1Perth]

This is the problem I have with todays generation of kids. They aren't encouraged to stick at anything. If they don't like something they are just encouraged to chuck in the towel and walk away. I have this row with my daughter every day when she says she wants to move schools because she doesn't like a girl or two. Life isn't like that, things have to be worked at.

 

Yep! What happened to the days of "kids being seen and not heard". Now as adults we have to take into account feelings of kids. When we were growing up we were told what to do and just had to get on with it. Sure we tried the sulky game for a while but soon realised that no-one was taking a blind bit of notice so got on with it anyway.

 

When I was 11 we moved out of Chesterfield where i'd grown up and my friends were, 4 miles up the road as my Dad had to change jobs and we didn't have a car. He couldn't get there on public transport for the time he had to clock on so we had to move suburbs. I hated it at first, didn't know anyone, put up with a bit of bullying I guess, wasn't really called that then though, just got a couple of bloody noses as I was the new kid. Wouldn't dream of even mentioning it to my parents, expected to sort it out myself and did. Had to stick up for yourself and eventually made friends got to know people and enjoyed the new place.

 

These days kids keep in touch constantly through different sorts of media, know about kids rights, think they should have a say and opinion on everything and can make your life hell if they feel like it.

 

Don't know what the answer is, or even if there is one, but I reckon we've gone from one extreme to the other.

[cartertucker]

 

I have two weeks to go, two weeks today in fact.

 

Ghost 

 

Ghost, You must be heading home this week??

 

Wishing you all the very best, shall look forward to updates, especially as we have been here in WA about the same time as you & your Family, we have both thought about mbttuk, but you are going now & I may be going later....:wink:

[Dawny]

Hi Kelly,

as you know we had no intention of returning to the uk as quickly as we did, but these things happen...

There is a lot we miss about oz, but can honestly say we love being home, We were only away for a short while, so can't really say things had changed! Saying that though, we did, are attitude changed a lot, no longer being used as a doormat for a start, taking more time out as a family, listening more to our kids etc, and have learnt to say no to other family members and not always being around for them at a drop of a hat lol, our view is they coped ok when we were away so they can cope now. Family time is far more important to us now, so weekends are strictly our time.

Kids are happier than they were before we went.

My only regret is not reading this part of the forum more before we went, just to see why people are returning and if in anyway their issues would be ours, and would we be prepared for those if they should happen,

what a wonderful thing the crystal ball would have been xx

[cartertucker]

Ahh, yes Dawn the crystal ball could have saved us a lot of time, emotions & money! :wink:

[scarlett]

Hi,

 

To those of you who moved back to the UK how did you feel when making the decision to return?

 

We have only been here five months but everything suggests we should go home and I would go tomorrow if I could but because of reading posts from people who have done this and then ping pommed I'm filled with concern! I am pregnant and the move here as actually made me ill! I think I knew within the first couple of weeks it wasn't for me, I tried so so hard until I just couldn't think straight, eventually I broke down with the midwife who was extremely helpful. Turns out I'd been having palpitations due to the anxiety, I measured as depressed and a social worker contacted me to offer support. Additionally, I have just been diagnosed as having gestational diabetes, which can often be brought on with stress! Even losing both my parents at a young age never affected me in the way the move here did. I've always had the strength to get through anything but the enormity of this move on our family and the cost isn't like any other dilemma.

 

I have had to accept my career here is over as my teaching qualification isn't recognised, I could go back to uni for two years at a cost of £10,000 but with two children in childcare and on one income this would be virtually impossible. Also, I trained for years in the uk as I did it whilst working full time, i don't want to do this again. Also, my husband is in the building trade, he has been out of work for a few days now and we've realised we need the security of my income due to the nature of his work.

 

I have lots of reasons for wanting to go home, some significant and some quite pathetic. I feel guilty that I want to return when there are so many people out there who could probably have made more of a success of it. Worse still, everybody here in WA thinks I'm mad! They all say give it a year or two- why? So I just become used to it?

Ive realised or appreciate now what a great life we had in the UK, owned our home, ate out once or twice a week, annual holidays, never watched what we put in the shopping trolley. Here, we are struggling to buy food right now due to the circumstances. I know a lot of my feelings are down to circumstances but I just want to go home. However, although I feel I could move back and gladly never return because of the things I have read on PIO I'm worried of the feelings I may have when I get back to the uk. I do not want to ping Pom, I suppose, I don't want to make the same mistake twice! But surely as I feel so strongly I'll be fine?

 

Im just interested in how those who moved back felt, please don't make judgements on my situation. I feel bad enough I've uprooted my family, messed up my daughters education and used up any money we had! :-/

[RockDr]

Hi Scarlett,

 

sorry to hear things aren't working out for you. While I would usually suggest not to make big decisions while depressed, being pregnant in an unstable financial situation, so you're going to need to make some important decisions regardless of whether you stay or not...

 

Firstly you need to stop feeling guilty. DIAC know that a proportion of migrants are going to head home again. Their visa allocation numbers take this into account. If everyone who migrates stayed, there'd probably end up being a shortage of jobs in some professions.

 

Things that jumped out at me from your post that I would be thinking long and hard about:

 

Why did you want to move to Australia in the first place? Given the current situation, can you forsee a way for the issues to resolve such that you'll eventually get the benefits you moved here for?

 

How important to you is your career? If you can't teach over here, are you going to resent the move to Australia for taking that away from you? Do you think you could be happy working in other jobs you'd be able to get without further training?

 

What does your husband think about all of this? is he keen to stay and try a bit longer or would he be happy to return?

 

If you do return, what lifestyle would you be returning to? would you be able to get jobs/house/etc or would you be returning to effectively the same situation you're experiencing here in Australia?

 

Lastly, never is a long time. If you do return to the UK, it could be that in years to come you no longer value your teaching career as highly, or have changed career in the UK, or have saved enough money to be in a far more stable financial situation, such that a move to Australia might work significantly better. There's no shame in deciding further down the line that you want to give it another shot.

[cartertucker]

^^ Excellent post & advice RockDr :cute:

[Que Sera Sera]

I must admit I dont agree with the give it at least 2 years theory. I mean I knew this place was for me almost instantly, now the flip side of this is that some must also know instantly that its not for them. Maybe some people do change their minds further down the line but, life is too damn short to be wasting time if your miserable. If you do go back and its not for you and you return, so what who cares its your life. Obviously if you have school age children its far more difficult uprooting them too many times would be wrong in my opinion but that said if they were adamant that they wanted to return, then go for it. I too lost both my parents and I think if one or both of them were alive now, this easyness of settling in, might not have been quite so easy. Good luck to all of you, I hope your negatives can turn to positives whichever side of the ocean you live on.:hug:

[ghost]

I'm with Dawny on this one. You go back with a whole new perspective. You grow as a person and see things alot differently. I can't really say why people ping pong. Maybe they go back purely for emotional reasons. Mine were very practical reasons. As a family we are better off in the uk, there's just more here for us in every way, the only thing,lacking is the sun and the beach.

[scarlett]

Hi Scarlett,

 

sorry to hear things aren't working out for you. While I would usually suggest not to make big decisions while depressed, being pregnant in an unstable financial situation, so you're going to need to make some important decisions regardless of whether you stay or not...

 

Firstly you need to stop feeling guilty. DIAC know that a proportion of migrants are going to head home again. Their visa allocation numbers take this into account. If everyone who migrates stayed, there'd probably end up being a shortage of jobs in some professions.

 

Things that jumped out at me from your post that I would be thinking long and hard about:

 

Why did you want to move to Australia in the first place? Given the current situation, can you forsee a way for the issues to resolve such that you'll eventually get the benefits you moved here for?

 

How important to you is your career? If you can't teach over here, are you going to resent the move to Australia for taking that away from you? Do you think you could be happy working in other jobs you'd be able to get without further training?

 

What does your husband think about all of this? is he keen to stay and try a bit longer or would he be happy to return?

 

If you do return, what lifestyle would you be returning to? would you be able to get jobs/house/etc or would you be returning to effectively the same situation you're experiencing here in Australia?

 

Lastly, never is a long time. If you do return to the UK, it could be that in years to come you no longer value your teaching career as highly, or have changed career in the UK, or have saved enough money to be in a far more stable financial situation, such that a move to Australia might work significantly better. There's no shame in deciding further down the line that you want to give it another shot.

 

 

Rockdr, thank you for your post. It gave me something to think about. Before we came here we had only ever lived in the UK and felt, like a lot of people, the UK wasn't the best country for our little girl to grow up in. We chose WA as we were impressed with the respect we saw displayed by youngsters on a visit, however we were bored stiff! Over the years we must have grown rose tinted glasses and forgot about not enjoying Perth!!! What always worried me was we were running away from the UK (immigration mainly, recession), it's not that we particularly fell in love with Perth and hence- there probably lies my problem!! However, having now sampled Perth too I can make comparisons between the uk and WA and really believe the UK offers us more. My career, a house we OWN, two cars, holidays, FAMILY, eating out on a weekly basis, Friday night take away, variety of shops, ASDA!! I think I had to 'lose' the uk to realise what it actually offered us.

 

With regards to my career, NO, I can't give it up, my aspirations remain strong, all I've ever wanted to do is teach. It's probably a driving force to return home and I feel useless not bringing home an income to help support my family and since we've been here we've never needed an additional income so much! Also, as a teacher I'm not impressed with the early years provision here an d having my own children this is very important to me- my three year old is bored out of her brains!

 

My husband has seen what the move has done to me and my daughter and is happy to move back because of this and because he loves us! He's a bit gutted its not lasted longer but ironically, his work has gone through a tricky patch the last couple of weeks and i think this has made him wonder whether work is as freely available as we first thought.

 

As for returning, ooooohhhh no, I'd be returning to work!! I'd have a purpose to get up each morning, I'd be contributing to the family income, I'd be able to afford to by clothes for my kids, I enjoy meeting friends for food, I'd be able to afford to join a gym, we'd visit my MIL at her holiday home every other weekend where we can take my daughter through the country side, I'd own my own home, I'd be saving for a summer holiday, I'd be happy watching my daughter thrive at school as she learns to read and put her writing skills to use. I wouldn't wake up throughout the night freezing as my uk home would be insulated, I wouldn't face a thousand dollar electric bill for two months because I need the air con on due to the heat! I wouldn't need to check the house for an army of ants, I could keep food in cupboards instead of in the fridge. My daughter commented, if we go back to England, I can see my friends!! Seeing her run to school again would make my move back worth every emotion and every penny- she's not made one friend her and she's only three. HEARTBREAKING.

 

Thank you for helping me to confirm in my own mind, moving HOME is the right decision for my family :-))

[Sunshine111]

Rockdr, thank you for your post. It gave me something to think about. Before we came here we had only ever lived in the UK and felt, like a lot of people, the UK wasn't the best country for our little girl to grow up in. We chose WA as we were impressed with the respect we saw displayed by youngsters on a visit, however we were bored stiff! Over the years we must have grown rose tinted glasses and forgot about not enjoying Perth!!! What always worried me was we were running away from the UK (immigration mainly, recession), it's not that we particularly fell in love with Perth and hence- there probably lies my problem!! However, having now sampled Perth too I can make comparisons between the uk and WA and really believe the UK offers us more. My career, a house we OWN, two cars, holidays, FAMILY, eating out on a weekly basis, Friday night take away, variety of shops, ASDA!! I think I had to 'lose' the uk to realise what it actually offered us.

 

With regards to my career, NO, I can't give it up, my aspirations remain strong, all I've ever wanted to do is teach. It's probably a driving force to return home and I feel useless not bringing home an income to help support my family and since we've been here we've never needed an additional income so much! Also, as a teacher I'm not impressed with the early years provision here an d having my own children this is very important to me- my three year old is bored out of her brains!

 

My husband has seen what the move has done to me and my daughter and is happy to move back because of this and because he loves us! He's a bit gutted its not lasted longer but ironically, his work has gone through a tricky patch the last couple of weeks and i think this has made him wonder whether work is as freely available as we first thought.

 

As for returning, ooooohhhh no, I'd be returning to work!! I'd have a purpose to get up each morning, I'd be contributing to the family income, I'd be able to afford to by clothes for my kids, I enjoy meeting friends for food, I'd be able to afford to join a gym, we'd visit my MIL at her holiday home every other weekend where we can take my daughter through the country side, I'd own my own home, I'd be saving for a summer holiday, I'd be happy watching my daughter thrive at school as she learns to read and put her writing skills to use. I wouldn't wake up throughout the night freezing as my uk home would be insulated, I wouldn't face a thousand dollar electric bill for two months because I need the air con on due to the heat! I wouldn't need to check the house for an army of ants, I could keep food in cupboards instead of in the fridge. My daughter commented, if we go back to England, I can see my friends!! Seeing her run to school again would make my move back worth every emotion and every penny- she's not made one friend her and she's only three. HEARTBREAKING.

 

Thank you for helping me to confirm in my own mind, moving HOME is the right decision for my family :-))

 

Good luck to you Scarlett. Trust your gut feeling. We did, reading your post reminds me of how we felt, so many things not right. In some ways that makes it easier re decision. (head & heart knew it wasnt right for us, but so hard when everyone around you is telling you, you are mad for going back to the UK, it has nothing to offer etc) When you have kids you want to do what is best for them, so we felt we were really against the grain. This time last year read very few posts unlike now of people feeling the same way.

 

I really struggled with early childhood & what was available for the 3-5 yr old stage & since being back & seeing what the UK has to offer I am so relieved our 2nd child is not going to experience what our 1st did with the daycare/early childhood system. My son was 4.5 yrs& sticking pasta shells on pieces of paper, was bored to tears & the daycare worker said to me, that really daycare was for up to 3 yrs. (thankfully I was working at night, so he only had to go once or twice a day 9-3pm, cant imagine what full time there would have done!) I believe they are slowly changing that, but in my opinion is nothing like the fabulous early childhood system here in the UK. I have been fortunate enough to have a comparision, like I say, have seen enough to decide we didnt want our 2nd son going through that. I was sooooo frustrated towards the end, because he was a July birthday he was not going to be starting full time school until he was 5 & 1/2 yrs, yet bright & very social.

 

Anyway, we are home 9 mths now. Whole family is benefitting & we just seem to have slotted into life here very easily, like it is meant to be. We have moved to a new area & had to make new friends because we have been away 10 yrs, so not saying its been easy, but just feels right.

 

My eldest said to me a couple of weeks ago, Mummy I have more friends here than I did in Oz, sad but true. He just seems to have met so many kids that he gets on well with here, loads of playdates etc unfortuately didnt get that in Perth was the odd one here & there he connected with. Anyway, just to wish you well with your next journey. Go with what feels right.

[shazney64]

OMG u r here, where are u in Perth? Havnt chatted for ages on here, Jane u still coming out sex and the city night?

[scarlett]

Good luck to you Scarlett. Trust your gut feeling. We did, reading your post reminds me of how we felt, so many things not right. In some ways that makes it easier re decision. (head & heart knew it wasnt right for us, but so hard when everyone around you is telling you, you are mad for going back to the UK, it has nothing to offer etc) When you have kids you want to do what is best for them, so we felt we were really against the grain. This time last year read very few posts unlike now of people feeling the same way.

 

I really struggled with early childhood & what was available for the 3-5 yr old stage & since being back & seeing what the UK has to offer I am so relieved our 2nd child is not going to experience what our 1st did with the daycare/early childhood system. My son was 4.5 yrs& sticking pasta shells on pieces of paper, was bored to tears & the daycare worker said to me, that really daycare was for up to 3 yrs. (thankfully I was working at night, so he only had to go once or twice a day 9-3pm, cant imagine what full time there would have done!) I believe they are slowly changing that, but in my opinion is nothing like the fabulous early childhood system here in the UK. I have been fortunate enough to have a comparision, like I say, have seen enough to decide we didnt want our 2nd son going through that. I was sooooo frustrated towards the end, because he was a July birthday he was not going to be starting full time school until he was 5 & 1/2 yrs, yet bright & very social.

 

Anyway, we are home 9 mths now. Whole family is benefitting & we just seem to have slotted into life here very easily, like it is meant to be. We have moved to a new area & had to make new friends because we have been away 10 yrs, so not saying its been easy, but just feels right.

 

My eldest said to me a couple of weeks ago, Mummy I have more friends here than I did in Oz, sad but true. He just seems to have met so many kids that he gets on well with here, loads of playdates etc unfortuately didnt get that in Perth was the odd one here & there he connected with. Anyway, just to wish you well with your next journey. Go with what feels right.

 

 

Thank you for your kind words, you're right, there are so many things just not right for us here and it's other people making me doubt my own feelings!! Spoke to hubby tonight and he said he's as worried as me about going home and regretting it, like we have moving here BUT he said, we're not going through it again to move back to oz which I found quite comforting because I know now we will be determined to make the most of life in the uk instead of continuing to search for that something 'better'!

 

Just need to decide on a month to move back, I'd dearly love to be home before the end of the year but watch this space.....

[Guest geordielass71]

LOL have been thinking of moving back to UK for 30 years now and it looks like finally it might just happen....been homesick for a very long time.

[cartertucker]

LOL have been thinking of moving back to UK for 30 years now and it looks like finally it might just happen....been homesick for a very long time.

 

Wow! Thats a long time....What made you stay so long?

[Guest Smudge72]

LOL have been thinking of moving back to UK for 30 years now and it looks like finally it might just happen....been homesick for a very long time.

 

Wow, 30 years!? Good for you! I'm new to the forum (1st post) and have been living in Sydney for "only" 14 years but constantly deliberating about going back. About to go on a recce myself.

[cartertucker]

Wow, 30 years!? Good for you! I'm new to the forum (1st post) and have been living in Sydney for "only" 14 years but constantly deliberating about going back. About to go on a recce myself.

 

 

Love to hear how the reccie goe's :0)