Galahad

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH ! :arghh: Been there - done that - loved it ! Have all the necessary quals. The 12,000 klm commute kills it for me though !!!!!! :twitcy:

Oh dear this is so sad - & it's reached desperation point.....I think drastic measures have to be taken.....bear with me - I've been in a similar, though not the same situation & everything is said with the utmost care for your predicament..... He is feeling trapped & fears that going to marriage counselling is only going to point out how 'he needs to be reasonable - some more' (that may not be the reality, but that, I think is how he feels....) You have talked about being near your family - what about his ? He has been in the UK approximately 10 years if my sums are right, so he must be feeling that maybe he wants to be near his family ? His roots ? His desperation is coming out as resentment & anger, not only towards you but towards all the other things which are standing as 'blocks' to his hopes of going home.... It may seem drastic but I think you have to take the upper hand here....tell him to go - not nastily, but tell him that you want him to go back to Australia as soon as possible to prepare the way for you all to spend some time there.... Your marriage, apparently, is suffering anyway...if you don't let him go he will eventually just go....so turn it around, take the pressure to stay right out of the equation....& pour in lots of love.... Don't talk about divorce or splitting up - just say you understand fully that he needs some time out.....to be where he calls 'home'.... (don't tell him 'home' should be where you & the children are - he knows that, deep down...) Be magnanimous - dispel the resentment.... Then - if he takes the marriage seriously & loves you & his children - which I'm sure is the case - under his 'trapped-ness' he may well do just that. Prepare the way for all of you.... The rest is up to you..... He may feel entirely different when he returns to Australia - but if he wants to stay & sorts something out for all of you, then I think you need to consider going with him.... One of the best marriages I ever observed was a couple in Queensland....they had three young children & the husband inherited a huge property waaaaaaay out west.... The wife didn't want to go as all the children were settled in school, but a friend of mine said to her 'You really don't want to go out there do you - do you think it's wise ? She replied 'Not really, no - but then again I'd move anywhere with Harry....'

Better to be safe than sorry - all :arghh: my riding boots n' wellies - toothbrush & Dettol or similar....be thorough....just bite the bullet & set aside an hour or so & go for it....!

Welcome Naif - unusual name.....very nice.... Good luck with your plans.....I don't know much about 'gas & heating' demand but I know about chiropractic demand.....! Especially if you choose to go west of Brisbane into horse-riding country ! We tend to have an 'on-going & permanent relationship' with chiropractors.....the two best I've encountered have been in Beaudesert & Moree (Moree is a loooooong way west !) All the best !

I saw the 'Coronation Street Band' one last night for the first time - it's brilliant.....& I like the 'Steve in bed' one too - they're very clever & not at all Simples to make, no doubt.....! :laugh:

Oh - I hadn't heard - until now..... I've caught little bits of the new 'Dallas' - though can't say it's had the 'pull' of the old one......but the bits of it that I did see were with him in it & I thought how brilliant he still was at portraying the old bar steward, JR....... Apparently he was the nicest person in real life - a good friend & a real gent..... with a terrific sense of humour - or in his case, humor..... Sorry to hear about his passing.....

"....I sew wedding gowns! Won best wedding designer in this years wedding industry awards...." Lindaatno9 - That's wonderful - well done !:notworthy: You should be soooo proud of that - & there's nothing like 'getting-stuck-into-work' & achieving success to lift the spirits !

"....Have folk here no integrity at all?...." Hi Linda - yes, most have integrity & I'm sure you know that....but no-one could blame you for feeling what you are feeling.... You've had a dreadful start - and with the nightmare of your little dog 'n all..... My 'start' was so different because I met & received help from wonderful people....not a nightmare at all - never..... I do hope things improve steadily - all my very best wishes for you.... BTW - what do you sew ? I sell sewing machines (& yes, some even go to Australia !) Do you use an oldie ? Or a super-dooper modern computerized whizzy one.... I'm more of a hand-crank fan myself......ancient Singer or Frister Rossmann....or Jones CS....love em..... Quite recently an old 'dealer' guy I know said he had some 'antique machines' at his house & I could have the lot for £50.00..... I couldn't get up to his place fast enough - seeing the profit-signs in front of my eyes.....:biggrin: What he hadn't told me was that seven of these machines had lived in the garden for 2 years ! Still took them though (well you have to - it's a 'dealer' thing!) & although I had to throw a couple of the bases & lids overboard, I managed to restore the rest & find decent cases for them.... The reason they were in the garden was because you couldn't get IN the house - literally - talk about 'hoarder disorder'..... I wouldn't want to be HIS landlord !!!!! :no: A bit off-topic, I know - but thought it might cheer you up !

If you're as good looking as your dog George, you'll be fine......! :yes: Welcome ! :cool:

I'm not sure what my friend uses on the actual hoof - but he is always, always, always on 'Megahorse' (http://www.megahorse.net.au) which is a mineral supplement for the whole horse & I found it works for my horse - the improved condition is visible.... I don't think you can treat the hoof without treating the horse - if y'know what I mean.... I order it direct & have it sent to my friend's property.... Under normal 'care conditions' (like when he was in normal work) he has four black & very good hooves (for a Thoroughbred!) but I was really lucky - in the vast continent which is Australia I managed to find someone who could destroy them !!!! Thankfully - they are now back to their perfect state..... They are very friendly people at Megahorse - check them out .... if you haven't already of course.... "I do water now".....

Hugs...... :hug::hug::hug: Mummy Mann..... know just how you feel..... & there's a fair few from 'the other end' who will check in to give you hugs soon.... They will be fine - honest & given that the alternative is leaving them behind (AAAAAARGH !) you will be too..... Thinking of you :yes:

Had an email from my friend in Queensland this morning....sent photos of 'my boy'......lots ! It's funny because after his 'ordeal with others' (I was badly let down by people who should have done better) his hooves were atrocious & so she sends a couple of photos of the 'whole horse' & about sixteen photos of his feet !! My friend pays particular attention to the health of his hooves..... y'know what they say, 'no hoof - no horse' :yes: Anyway, here's my gorgeous boy after his latest pedicure..... Miss him soooo much & can't wait to ride him again - just 'pootling' - he's 22 now.....

Oh Absolooooooootely - in both hemispheres ! Love them & have bought some incredible bargains.....for me & the home.... My favourite find is a beautiful dark grey overcoat - Marks & Spencers - pure new wool - made in West Germany (that dates it!) but it isn't 'dated' at all & is a bit like the 'Loden' coats, a classic....super, super quality.... Looks great with a bright scarf & my 'posh' boots ! £8.00 - a steal !!!! Simply cannot get that quality in 'new' without paying a fortune..... :rolleyes:

Good advice here....honestly, I would do the full 6 months stay - maybe even a year if you can, financially, without putting any pressure on yourself to make a decision in that period... You may find that your feelings change after the initial 'honeymoon period' of being in England.... I visited family for Christmas (for a month) a few times before I came over to care for an elderly parent & have now been in the UK nearly three years.....& for me the 'honeymoon' is well & truly over.....for others it is different - everything feels 'just right' for them.... But you won't know unless you 'do it'.... All the best.... :smile:

The 'like' :notworthy: is for sheer darned bravery but it's followed by an EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!! :arghh:

It's amazing how quickly you acclimatise to their presence.... I remember years ago in Cheltenham (y'know - the one in harmless Gloucestershire !) we were doing some renovations to put in a new fireplace & disturbed a spiders' lair.... I will NEVER EVER forget the sight of these huge 'drain spiders' (like the big ones you find in the bath sometimes) running in all directions all over the carpet..... Absolute classic reaction - up on the sofa, screaming.... there were approximately 30 of them..... :swoon: In Australia I got used to my pet 'Huntsman' policing the cornice picking off mozzies....sometimes in the evening he'd crawl down the wall a bit - as if to watch telly - & then up he'd go again....for his supper... It was the little Redbacks I was more wary of - they used to settle under the horses' tyre feeders in the paddock - but I just learned to check before putting my fingers underneath... :unsure:

"Home is here, where my married daughters come to visit with their families, and the first thing they check out is the fridge to see what there is to eat, exactly as they did when they were younger and living here. Home is here,situated between 2 large bays, 10 to 15 minutes drive from beautiful beaches. Home is here, 45 minutes drive from the beautiful rainforest up in the Dandenong Mountains. Home is here, 1 1/2 hours drive from the snowfields during the Winter months. Home is here, an hours drive from the most livable city in the World. But, there is another home too, and it is a long way away from here, on a small island off the North Wales coast, and it is the place where I lived for almost 31 years, and it too is beautiful, but in a different, rough, way, and we enjoy visiting it, for the memories of our younger years are there. It is the place where I met my beautiful wife, the place we got married, the place where our children were born, where we bought our first home, where my father and brother are buried, the place where I still have family. But, it is also a depressed place, dirty, and I feel unsafe walking the streets at night, the place where I have to watch where I walk because I may step in dog muck, the place where a wrongly interpreted look will bring violence, and after we have been there a short time, we look forward to coming home, back here, for it is a far better place than the place that we left" Beautifully written, Celt Down Under.....:yes:

Oh - M2M - if only I was 20 years younger..... Who am I kidding - 30 years younger !!!!!

Remembering the horses.....& other four legged 'soldiers'..... 'Look back at our struggle for freedom, Trace our present day course to its source, And you'll find that man's pathway to glory Is strewn with the bones of the horse....' In grateful memory of the thousands of horses who carried men & equipment through the hell of WWI & galloped obediently into the guns at Balaclava.... And to the wonderful military dogs who risk & often lose their lives finding bombs which would otherwise kill humans....

Thinking of you all - stay safe everyone down there..... :hug:

Oh, dear Mullso.....it's all been said - can only add lots of :hug::hug::hug: and feel for you.... Beautiful, beautiful girl....& the only consolation for you must be that she looks happy & healthy..... I well understand your heavy heart though - I had to re-home two of the gentlest Rotties on the planet once & I know they both went to good homes (they were rescue cases when they came to me) but it broke me into pieces..... Sending lots of love to you & your family...... :wubclub:

I live where I live because I have to, at the moment - until I can return to those beautiful Jacarandas I miss so much.....gorgeous pics. Fish....truly stunning.....! :notworthy: However I'm not such a Philistine that I can't appreciate my daily doggy-walk park just down the road from my flat...... How fortunate am I to be able to enjoy both hemispheres huh ? :wub:

I know this thread has meandered a bit - but as it's now talking about dentistry & other 'private health care options' - I'll add my observations... I was brought up in the UK which included the typical NHS dental regime of the '50s & '60s....to which I owe the loss of several teeth I didn't need to lose.... Later on I found a dental hospital in the '70s (Cardiff) to which I owe the greatest debt of gratitude....because it changed my attitude.... The dentists there were wonderful - these students going out into the world - they cared deeply about a patient's self-esteem - what having a 'good smile' could mean - especially to a (then) young woman.... That had never been included in the NHS care I'd received ! Australia also changed my attitude some more - instead of relying on 'public care' I found a fabulous private dentist in the centre of Brisbane who had a 'payment plan' & had some serious work done.... Worth it ? Oh, a million times over..... On return I booked straight in for my regular checkups with a private dentist here & go for 'programmed' cleans & general care.... The 'cleans' every six months are £65 & I had an old molar taken out (£170)....probably approximately double what I would have paid in Australia.... Since being back in the UK this 2 1/2 years I've been appalled at the amount of visible decay people seem content to live with - friends of similar ages showing huge gaps & rotting teeth - & I know they've got 'funds' to see to it.....heaps more than me....it's just an attitude thing....the NHS is THERE so they'll jolly well use it... Private ? Perish the thought !!!! My private dentist in the UK does NHS work for all children by the way - I think that's the norm.... Honestly I believe it's easy to get 'lulled' into an 'NHS' state-of-mind if you've been brought up with it - for me it was a 'mind-shift' to go private, but once I realised that even I could afford it if I saved a bit for each procedure - it felt so good ! :em3600:

Hi Poppy, I'm not sure whether you're feeling 'despondent' or 'desperate' but as it's probably a combination of both, it doesn't matter ! Firstly, I suspect your 'concern about bringing your son up in the UK' is tied in with your feelings of wanting change....& I DO know where you're coming from.... But rest assured your son will do just fine - where-ever he is brought up. My two boys have both had a (single parent) UK education & upbringing & both have done extremely well (bearing in mind I'm not in the least biased !) One is in England & one in Korea. Both are happily married & financially secure. You sound a responsible, hardworking parent & that is what a child needs - in whatever hemisphere.... Job security is an ongoing worry for many, I know & I know nothing about the prospects in your profession - but others will.... Your plans may need to be shelved for a while if permission is not granted to take your son to Australia - but if I were you I would treat it as a 'project' rather than a 'fight'.... Research, research, research - no information gained will be wasted & it will be your own findings - not friends' opinions....which will always vary. I would just take a deep breath & start at the beginning & find out the facts as pertaining to YOU....

"....but you seem to be linking your moving thoughts to job security and being skint?....." I don't get that impression Rupert - I think Poppy is just including that in her general 'overview inquiry'.... She has gone through several disappointments - the loss of the relationship/the loss of the 'Australian Opportunity' with her then partner AND has dealt/is dealing with the need to 'move out & move on' with a small child.... I get the impression Poppy is just beginning to see the way ahead again....& feeling she has the energy to 'go for it' on her own... You are absolutely right though, when you say that the first thing she needs to do is find out whether the father will allow the child to leave.... :yes: