caramac

:notworthy:

We pay much less in GDP for the NHS than most other countries and that amount has reduced over the past few years from 14% to (I was shocked to hear the other day) 10%! The tories have an agenda to convince the public that it's unsustainable so they can sell it off to either themselves or the American insurance companies. I'm not sure that they would be queuing up to buy it if they thought they couldn't make a tidy profit from it. We have an ageing population and cuts in the care system is one of the main reasons that the NHS is seeing the pressures it is this winter. That, plus cuts and the inability to persuade drs to become GPs, thus putting additional pressure on primary care, mean that secondary care is really suffering. If no one wakes up and really sees what's happening the NHS will be gone, or the taxpayer will be paying an awful lot more into the pockets of the insurance companies and private providers.

My husband is a dr (psych). We've lived in Australia twice before and are looking to return again (husbands RRV was granted this morning before he'd even finished uploading his documents! The rest of us are citizens, so don't know if that helped..). We've lived in Perth, Sydney and Melbourne ( returning to Melbourne - or Canada or SE Asia..). What kind of things would you like to know? There are things we couldn't help with because our initial entry was so long ago, and things change constantly, but happy to help if we can.

I definitely noticed it when we lived in Australia and I'm pretty sure it was the different powder. I got my mum to bring a box of Persil tablets with her when she came to stay, which amused the guys at Perth airport, and the smell was the same as when I used them in the UK. I did find one in Australia I really liked, but can't remember whether it was Radiant or Dynamo.. Looks like I'll be experimenting again if we're there again later this year.

We've a lovely winter here so far. There was a smattering of snow today, but it had mostly gone by the afternoon

Money is usually the driver for these decisions, but I think it's more to do with the way health services are set up in Aus - there are far more private Drs who are pretty protective over their practice. There are still lots who don't even have nurses in their clinics, whereas in the UK there is much more of a team approach, certainly in the more 'modern' areas. They do exist in Aus, but again, in the more forward thinking, (and mainly) public services.

That's a shame LKC - it would have been good to follow your plans, but I completely understand why you don't feel you can post anymore. It's hard enough sorting everything out without others thinking they know better than you what's best for your family. Good luck with your plans and your move, and hopefully you'll feel able to update us all when you're settled again.

Good luck LKC! From our experiences of moving back here, in terms of housing it's much easier to move this way - we haven't needed rental references in any property we've rented here and, in general, pets are much less of an issue for landlords. We've had hamsters, Guinea pigs, rabbits, dogs with no problems. I think your reasoning for moving to Scotland is sound. Our youngest daughter had to move from Sydney at the end of year 5 to mid year 7 in England. She doesn't have the additional needs that your eldest does, but she still found it a challenging time (she had gone back to her 'old' school where the teachers knew her, but moving around for different lessons, different subjects etc made it a bit tricky for a while). Scotland hasn't had the major changes in curriculum that have been imposed in England recently either, so that might also make Scotland a more attractive prospect. We have family in and around Edinburgh (some are teachers) and they seem very happy with the education their primary aged children are receiving. As long as you don't mind the weather, I think it'd be a great place to live.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that she wouldn't encounter the same issues at a private school. Our daughters experienced exactly the same problems at their very expensive school. It was horrendous. However, you could try to persuade her to at least look at different options, state and private - she might have a look and feel at home straight away. Definitely talk to her teachers in the first instance and see what they say, but be aware that she may well seem fine to them. You know her best, so keep watching her and try to keep the communication open without asking leading questions (easier said than done!). You'll soon see if she's settling. It's only been six months and the long holidays are coming up, so see how she goes over Christmas? Six months is a tough stage - the 'honeymoon' is over, but you haven't really settled and made firm connections. Maybe the holidays will give her time to see friends on her own terms and spend fun time away from the classroom with them (unless they're spending all their time smoking weed!). I feel for you (and her); it's a tough time and 14 is a difficult age to start afresh, but it can work out ok in the end. We came back to the UK which was an easy (and the right) choice for us, but others weather the storm and settle eventually.

You wouldn't have to wait for three years for the girls to start school. You come back and apply for a school you like (in some areas the good/popular ones are oversubscribed, in which case you might not get your first choice) and they start as soon as you're organised. Similarly with the NHS. Come back, register with a dr and you're away. If you need hospital appointments, you may need to prove your residency, but it doesn't always happen. The only thing I would say is, if your daughter needed to engage with children's mental health services (not school based psychologists/assistants) the waiting lists for assessment can be at least two years, so if you think you may need to access them it might pay to research your preferred areas before moving. On a salary of £30/35k you will be entitled to child benefit and I was able to claim that as soon as we arrived, but that's going back a few years now when it was a universal benefit. It may have changed since. You can check on the government website for up to date information. I don't know what the upper limit is for tax credits - they're on a sliding scale and you get nothing over a certain income. Might be worth checking that too. With no mortgage, you should have a good standard of living on that salary, especially away from the SE. There is a lot of competition between energy companies, supermarkets etc, so even though it's a bit of a pain doing comparisons, you can get some good deals. I don't know how much it would be for you to bring the cats, but our little, cat sized dog cost just over $3,500 to bring over.

This statement alone shows how little many people really understand about our exit. There are decades of laws and agreements to unpick and rearrange which will take years to sort out. It's not a case of picking up our ball and going home.

It's a horrible feeling. Is it your first trip back to the UK since emigrating? I remember feeling the same way when we were on our first trip back to the UK - I could easily have stayed here and cried almost all the way back on the plane! However, to my complete surprise, once we arrived back and settled back in I was fine. Try not to overthink things (impossible I know!) and see how you feel when you get back, then maybe you can start to plan from there. How has your daughter coped with your holiday? If it hasn't been too stressful for her, maybe she'd cope better than you're anticipating? I do believe that children are happier if their parents are happy (until they reach the teen years when life tends to be all about them :wink:) and having a mum who isn't stressed must be better for your daughter than one who is. Support for children with additional needs is pretty good here, so she would have the help she needs to settle again, so I wouldn't put that obstacle in my way. Try to see going back to Australia as not permanent, simply the next phase. Would that help? You're lucky that your husband is easygoing and wants you to be happy (and looking at jobs in Scotland is a good sign!), so you don't have to feel trapped. It must be so horrible for those who have no choice - the trapped feeling must be so much worse. I do feel for you - enjoy the rest of your holiday - this Autumn has been absolutely glorious!

I agree. I know he's not looking at buying in central London - I was pointing out that the low fares that PB suggests are only within a small area, so much higher fares must be considered if you're looking at commuting any distance.

You don't need an Oyster card. Within Zone 1 (iirc) you can scan your contactless card on public transport and TFL will cap your spend once it gets to £6.50 per day no matter how many journeys you take. The same can't be said for travel from outside that area which is very expensive. You can't use railcards until 10am, or any peak services, so they're useless for commuters/students. No one on £40k could afford a mortgage for anything within zone 1. Our income is a lot higher and we couldn't afford anything worth living in there either. I do know people who have bought in Islington, but they have private income on top of very high six figure salaries, and we're talking about tiny flats, not family homes.

This is is our experience too. I definitely wouldn't want to do it on that income, or even one a bit higher. Our daughter is a student in London. Last year her rent for a tiny room in a shared terraced house in Collier's Wood was £600 a month (shared with her boyfriend). It was close to the tube so her commuting costs as a student were just over £100 a month. This was significantly cheaper than the previous year when they rented a one bed flat in Norbiton for £1k a month and her commuting costs were much higher (train and tube). Would this be your life if you're in a bedsit 5days a week? Could you afford that plus a home somewhere else? It wasn't just the cost that made them move further into London and a tiny flat, but the fact that the trains were so unreliable. They were often cancelled at the last minute, were so full they didn't stop at the station at all or were simply late. If they did stop, they were dirty and overcrowded. It was a horrible, stressful year and it's (along with the cost of everything) put her off living in London once she's graduated and she loves big cities. You can live outside London, but the commuting costs and hassle would, imo, wipe out any benefits you might gain from it. Is there any chance of work away from the SE? There are so many lovely, more affordable, easier places to live where you'd have a really good life on £40k. You could maybe survive on that salary in the SE, but I don't think you'd have a great standard of living and that might make resentment set in. Why would your wife have to work on a zero hours contract? Yes, there is an ever increasing number of them (or agency contracts with no job security), but they tend to be in the un/low skilled sector. If your wife has a fairly skilled occupation they tend to come with a contract for at least a certain number of guaranteed hours. I completely understand you wanting to be here. I love living in the UK for all the reasons you state, but I'm not sure I'd be willing to compromise what you seem to have there for what would likely be a bit of a struggle here. I'd only do it if I could be sure my and my family's lives would be improved, or at least not negatively impacted by the move. I do feel for you - it's so tough wanting to be somewhere else. You think you can put up with anything just to be where you feel you belong and it's hard to be objective in that situation especially when you feel there are time pressures forcing a decision.

I think you may still be experiencing culture shock (along with grieving a horrible break up) and it's quite normal to compare things with those that you're used to, often negatively, when you're emotionally in a bad place. Being a dr, you're in a good place to transfer location to more or less wherever you want to be, so you don't need to think of this as a forever move. Depending on what level you are in your training or specialty, maybe just think about getting to the next level and re assessing then? Nothing has to be forever and if you can just enjoy the experience for what it is you might stop comparing everything with 'home' and take what Australia has to offer? My husband is a senior consultant and has worked in Australia twice and is looking at going back again soon. There are good and bad points wherever you work, even within a country, and standards will vary everywhere. My husband has had positive and negative experiences in every trust and service in both countries, so I doubt the lower clinical standards you're experiencing are universal (although you're right that Drs become consultants earlier and with less experience in Australia - no higher training post specialist qualification, in psych anyway..). A lot will depend on where you're working and which specialty you're in - in some areas Australia will be ahead and others, behind. In the end only you know what you want. I do remember feeling very unsettled for the first year after we arrived, but someone asked me, 'if someone gave you a flight home right now, no strings attached, would you go?'. I wouldn't have and that was turning point for me. What would you do in that position?

Exactly what Thinker says. I'll just add that our daughter managed all A*/A (B for maths :wink:) in her GCSEs, so even if she's behind now, all will be well, with the right support.

Yes, we were in the same position when we returned the first time. Our youngest was in preprimary in Australia and was supposed to start in year 1 here. I asked for her to start in reception instead (premmie baby, summer born) which they allowed for the first term, then she had to move into year 1 after Christmas. It was not good, especially in maths where the others were all pretty comfortable with number bonds etc and our daughter really struggled, and continued to struggle, to catch up, but that might have been the case even if she'd started school in the UK. Schools are all different and if you find one which really understands how (and has the time and resources) to help, it'll be fine. The headteacher at the one our younger two attended was going through some personal problems and wasn't the most receptive to our concerns.. Knowing what I subsequently knew, I would order some UK workbooks for eyfs and KS1 and try to work through those a bit. Really, as long as your daughter has the basics of reading and number work she should be fine - children are still at very different stages of development at that age and good teachers are able to deal with all levels. You could also look at asking to keep her down a year, but the state system isn't really keen on that. If you chose an independent school, they tend to be much more open to the idea, but that might not be such a good idea socially if she's an Autumn born child as she'd be so much older than some of her classmates - not a problem at 5/6, but more noticeable in the teen years. Good luck

Me too, with you, but I'm on my phone (battery gone on iPad) and my ageing eyesight is so bad I can only see a couple of words at a time and can't keep up with what I'm typing! I don't like this getting old business.. Sorry if it came across badly.

That's why I said 'almost all' in brackets. I know there are some which haven't yet changed, but wasn't sure exactly which ones. It was different every time for all our kids and that was before Gove's changes. It would be best for the op to contact the colleges and schools she's considering to find out what they would advise. We moved back from Australia when our eldest had missed the first term of year 10, and moved again (within the UK) when our middle one had just finished year 10, so I know it can be done, but it's not easy and you need a supportive environment for it to work, especially when the curriculum and syllabus is different. It worked for our girls, but they did have to be very self motivated to adapt and study independently to cover the differences in courses. There were subjects the middle one couldn't take at her new school because the differences were too great to catch up with, despite her being very conscientious and hard working.

A lot will depend on your date of birth, but I'm not sure that coming back to repeat year 11 is a good idea, except for the domestic fees at uni point. All (or almost all) GCSEs are linear courses now, which means they're all full two year courses with all exams taken st the end of those two years. However, depending on your age, date of birth and educational level, you could go straight to a college and take the full two year courses for GCSE or A levels. If the latter, you could then take a gap year before starting uni which would qualify you for the three years residency requirements for domestic fees and conditions.

I wouldn't live in Sunderland, but as TheVixenator says, there are some lovely areas not far away. We live in Hexham which is probably a bit too far for you (although my husband travels to Sunderland most days), but there are really lovely villages along the Tyne Valley which aren't so far away. When we were looking at moving here we drew a semicircle on the map of the distance he'd be willing to travel and looked at areas within that semicircle. We included Morpeth, Hexham and Durham in ours, but yours would probably be smaller. You're coming to an absolutely beautiful part of the world with everything you could need within easy reach - gorgeous countryside, beautiful beaches, great city, easy travel and really lovely people. Good luck!

I understand how you're feeling. I felt the same way when we moved to Australia with our three young children. I felt guilty about taking the grandchildren away from my parents, even though we lived 200 miles from them in the UK. My parents never made us feel guilty and would have been mortified if I'd told them how I was feeling, but I felt it all the same. We came back to the UK, but for work reasons, not for my parents. The shoe is now in the other foot for me. Our eldest daughter caught the travel bug very early on and has spent extended periods travelling overseas since leaving school. She's currently spending a year studying in Russia as part of her degree and has no intention of living in an English speaking country once she graduates in 2018 (she can speak five languages, so wants to use them). I'm absolutely delighted that she's out there, living her life and experiencing everything the world has to offer. I'm so proud that she has the confidence and motivation to do it. I love hearing about what she's doing via FaceTime or messages - it's exciting. I've told all my children that the world is huge and to go out and explore it. I love them all dearly, miss them when they're away and love spending time with them, especially when the five of us are all together, but I would hate to think that they'd feel guilty, or that they had to give up on their plans and dreams just to live close to me. That would make ME feel guilty. We're probably going to be moving back to Aus for a while in the next year or so and our younger two may, or may not, come with us. They have their own lives to live and we'll continue to love and support them wherever we are. I'm glad they've grown into independent, confident young women and I'm sure your parents feel the same. Make a success of your life, be happy and healthy. That's all any of us really want for our children.

My daughter had it done in 2009 under a ring block, then the nail bed was treated with phenol to stop that bit of the nail growing back. Her's was in such a mess (weeping and bleeding and so sore), but it had taken months to persuade her to see anyone, so it was far less sore post op than it was before! She hasn't looked back since and it was a complete success. I think she wished she'd been braver earlier..

Private health provision does work differently here, so I'd look very carefully before you commit to anything. Many providers won't cover pre existing conditions, so finding one which will cover further orthopaedic care may be tricky. It might be better to put the amount you'd pay to an insurance company into a separate account and use that if you find the NHS lacking?