Drumbos79 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Hi everyone this is my first post on Poms in Oz having thought about it for months and now here I am. Having previously lived in Brisbane 15 years ago, I currently live in the UK and work as an Architect and have been trying to convince my wife to move to Oz with our young baby son who is 16 months old. We decided to get married last year in Noosa and I was hoping that our trip would convince her that a move to Oz would be the perfect family outdoor place to live however, things did not go as planned. The day after we arrived in Brisbane it rained and was cold, and our trip to Southbank on two separate occasions were quiet and dull - something I had never experienced having lived there for 18 months plus 5 other holidays!! Our trip to Noosa faired even worse, it poured with rain for 7 days and were married on the beach in the rain. Added to this, my wife ripped her wedding dress on the door as she was leaving the apartment. Seemingly it was the first rain in 5 months! My wife could not see the benefit of living in Oz and thought Brisbane was dull and too quiet compared to Glasgow (I know)!! I would move tomorrow if I could. Anyway she might consider moving to Sydney or Melbourne instead (I havent been to either) and I was wondering what the major differences are from each city in terms of lifestyle, city centre size, city buzz, culture, family events etc. Am I correct in saying that Melbourne may have better job prospects for Architects? My wife works with the council and has experience as a homeless case worker and anti-social behaviour - does anyone have similar experience in trying to find the same type of work? The benefits of Sydney appear to be the close proximity to beaches, the fabulous harbour and scenery? Is this correct? If there are any other Architects out there with recent experiences, I would be glad to hear of them. At the moment I have my skills assessment complete and IELTS test passed - I just need to lodge before the July visa changes!! Out of interest do others find Brisbane dull? Thanks John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest truebeliver Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 sorry i cant help with your dilemma but i do sympathise with you having all that bad luck whilst trying to convince your wife to relocate im the one who wants to go to oz in my relationship i posted a thread earlier about my oh wanting to wait until were older to emigrate im giving him space to think about it at the mo but ive got everything crossed hoping he changes his mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 We used to live in Sydney. It is a very vibrant city with a lot going on and lots to see and do. Melbourne is similar but different. Which is better depends a bit on your likes and dislikes. Melbourne feels a bit more European and has a lot of small bars are restaurants and things and is famous for the arts. Brisbane is a lot quieter than either. The harbour in Sydney is amazing and i used to love catching the ferry and sailing under the bridge. However, both are big cities and both have the usual big city problems so be careful about what you expect from either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Your wife shouldnt have too much trouble finding work as a case worker in a specialist homeless service - she would have more luck in a not for profit organization in that regard as she would have to be a permanent resident to get work in the state public service in that role. The NFPs dont pay well however there does still seem to be quite a bit of money around from Rudd's homelessness initiatives - although that will dwindle in the next few years as Gillard isnt pushing that barrow as hard but there is generally work to be had as there is a high mobility in that service. As the one who didnt want to be in Australia in our relationship, I would say dont force her - if she hates it she hates it ... and you.... and resentment is never far from the surface. She is also risking a lot because if she goes and your relationship doesnt stand the test of time (worst case scenario) then you could quite easily prevent her from leaving with your kid/s and she would be trapped (I know you would never do that). Weatherwise, Sydney and Melbourne can be just as wet/cold/hot/dry as anywhere else and living in the 'burbs is going to be bland no matter where you are. Good luck, hope you two can work out what you both want out of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drumbos79 Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 Thanks for the replies everyone. Quoll can I ask are you now in Australia? If so how did you end up agreeing to go? How do you feel about it now? Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Thanks for the replies everyone. Quoll can I ask are you now in Australia? If so how did you end up agreeing to go? How do you feel about it now? Thanks. Hehehehehe at the feeling about it now bit. Sorry, my bad. But, well, yeah. I am sure Quoll we be along to answer soon :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Thanks for the replies everyone. Quoll can I ask are you now in Australia? If so how did you end up agreeing to go? How do you feel about it now? Thanks. No I am happily home in UK after 32.5 years in Australia. The first 10 were fun, holiday mode, seeing and doing lots. Second 10 were ho hum, heads down, bum up raising kids, having a good career etc. The last 10 have been horrible - stuck in the ar$e end of the world (thank you P Keating) and not wanting to be there at all - been there and done it all and seeing the future trapped in a place that I knew from the outset I did not want to spend the rest of my days in. I went along initially quite happily because it was the next step in our life adventure and it was the best opportunity at the time and having already lived in places like PNG there was no big deal to it. For me it wasnt the people dragging me back as much as a desire to live in a place I feel I "belong" - people who get my sense of humour, history, VARIETY, choice, the environment, the understated and gorgeously pretty wildlife etc etc. I managed just fine in Aus and anyone looking at me would say I was a fantastic settler, never wracked with the heartwrenching homesickness that many experience after a few months in a foreign country, fitted in beautifully. BUT my heart always knew I didnt belong and every day I put on my happy "I live here" now face and got on with it - our family was small and self sufficient, we did our best to keep in touch with the olds (his in Vic and mine in UK) and they, fortunately, were independent and self sufficient people who took steps to ensure that they kept in touch too. But wearing someone else's face day after day, decade after decade gets wearing and you see your real self disappearing under the mire so that eventually you drown in it. I am now home, caring for my elderly and increasingly infirm parents and even though that brings its own stresses (matricide anyone????) I am loving it. I am myself again - everyone says I am different, I have lost weight, I am so much fitter as there is more of a walking culture here and going up and down stairs every day is a different experience, I laugh a lot with loads of different people. I have my life back. Do I regret going to Australia - no not really, it was good to us all in all. Do I regret staying so long - you bet your boots I do. Will I regret returning when we are no longer needed in UK (the Aussie DH doesnt want to live here forever unless I can convince him that the gardening, cycling and gymming are better LOL) - I will be dragged kicking and screaming but my DH is the most important person in my life and as long as I have him that is the most important thing. Meanwhile I am loving being me in a place I really belong and TBH I barely give Aus a thought these days (I flit through the forum in my list of interest forums to flit through) and I guess now that I have escaped I dont loathe it quite so much as when I was having to put up with all the minutiae of irritants on a daily basis. I really feel for anyone who is there against their will, it's not a friendly place to be alone and isolated especially if you are someone who has a really close relationship with their extended family - you do have to be very selfish and very self sufficient to make a go of it. (Sorry for the ramble but you did ask and I am procrastinating about writing to an Aussie friend who is discovering the frailties of Aussie friendships in the hardest way possible at this mo!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Homer Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Serious mistake to brow beat the Missus into going, one you could live to regret. Tricky and unenviable situation. Worth bearing in mind that Glasgow is a cosmopolitan and vibrant city these days and outside of Brisbane's CBD it is likely to feel dull in comparison. Getting a meal after 9pm will be almost impossible for example...... Put your relationship first imho, that is far more important than where you live. You will need to find a compromise or one half of your relationship could end up unhappy. Be open and try not to fixate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Lots of good advice here. Relationship first in my opinion , DEFINATELY as kids are part f the mix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drumbos79 Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 Some good advice indeed. Sometimes I probably do put too much pressure on, but the reason for this is that even though we have good jobs here in the UK we struggle to meet ends meet, and I feel that Oz would open up more opportunities for us career wise for me, and as a family as a whole. We both do agree that an outdoor lifestyle would be the best for us as we are constantly stuck in at the weekends due to weather or lack of money and its driving me insane. I remember when I lived in Brisbane every weekend there was something to do outdoors, whether it was playing football or watching family play, it would be great to take along a picnic and enjoy the day. It was all very much outdoors and i loved that aspect. In the UK or Glasgow it's either pub, shops or football. I have said to my OH that I'm not intending to go to Oz with a definite permanent move as who knows I may even find for a second time that it's not for me after all, but we will never know if we do not try it, and the time in our lives just now is probably the best time to do it being in our early 30's and having a 16 month old boy. --- I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?qg241l Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drumbos79 Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 It appears my last reply hasn't shown so take two! Good advice indeed. Sometimes I think i have put too much pressure on the OH which has resulted in arguments but living in the UK at the moment is a challenge. Even though we both have good jobs we still struggle to make ends meet and I feel that Oz would bring more opportunities career wise as well as giving us an outdoor lifestyle which we both would like. When I lived in Brisbane there was so much to do at the weekends that involved outdoors, whether it was was going to the beach, family days out, BBQ'S and playing football every weekend in the sun whilst the family brought a picnic. I feel here in Scotland, that the weather makes this impossible and weekends are either spent either indoors or at the shops, walks etc. There is such a contrast in family lifestyle for me, which I think is the most important factor. I have told my OH that I don't intend for it to be a permanent move as we would both have to see if it was for us or not, but we will never know if we do not give it a go. I think the time in our life is our perfect opportunity being in our early 30's and having a young son. The OH doesn't have a close family network in the UK and I have family who already live in Brisbane so at least we have a support network there. Looks like I will just need to play it out and see what happens - I will take the risk and apply for the visa in anycase! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drumbos79 Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 Ok so it decided to appear - sorry for the double post. --- I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?qt1cr4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish.01 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 ...outside of Brisbane's CBD it is likely to feel dull in comparison. Getting a meal after 9pm will be almost impossible for example...... ... Don't agree...unless you mean outside all Brisbane's inner suburbs as well as the CBD. Plenty of meals available in inner suburbs after 9pm. Middle and outer suburbs I agree though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Ok so it decided to appear - sorry for the double post. --- I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?qt1cr4 It seems because you have the tapatalk link in your posts are automatically being flagged as spam, sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drumbos79 Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 I see, I'm not sure how to undo the tapatalk link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish.01 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 ... The day after we arrived in Brisbane it rained and was cold, and our trip to Southbank on two separate occasions were quiet and dull - something I had never experienced having lived there for 18 months plus 5 other holidays!! ... What a shame....I've noticed how busy southbank often is these days. Cycled past at lunch and tonight after dark and both times there were lots of people. The new River Quay district is just great with Stokehouse and Cove really buzzing. With over 60 restaurants, cafes, takeaways etc plus the parklands, beach, museums, galleries, performing arts complex and regular events southbank often has a great atmosphere. Pop down to the next suburb of West End and there is another 75 restaurants, cafe's, bars often buzzing to late: http://www.urbanspoon.com/n/337/40021/Brisbane/West-End-restaurants Marketing fluff but gives a taste: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Some good advice indeed. Sometimes I probably do put too much pressure on, but the reason for this is that even though we have good jobs here in the UK we struggle to meet ends meet, and I feel that Oz would open up more opportunities for us career wise for me, and as a family as a whole. We both do agree that an outdoor lifestyle would be the best for us as we are constantly stuck in at the weekends due to weather or lack of money and its driving me insane. I remember when I lived in Brisbane every weekend there was something to do outdoors, whether it was playing football or watching family play, it would be great to take along a picnic and enjoy the day. It was all very much outdoors and i loved that aspect. In the UK or Glasgow it's either pub, shops or football. I have said to my OH that I'm not intending to go to Oz with a definite permanent move as who knows I may even find for a second time that it's not for me after all, but we will never know if we do not try it, and the time in our lives just now is probably the best time to do it being in our early 30's and having a 16 month old boy. --- I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?qg241l I am intrigued that people think they wont struggle to make ends meet in Australia - with interest rates on mortgages being amongst the highest in the world and the real estate market still relatively healthy although on the way down. Rentals are extortionate IMHO for not terribly much quality. Add to that the shorter rec leave times (only 4 weeks as a rule in Aus and some companies tell you when you have to take them) and it doesnt necessarily argue a better lifestyle - I think Aussies are generally considered to work longer hours as well (vague recollection from some chart or other). I know that my public servant husband was a 5 - 9er (not a misprint) and always worked at least one day at the weekend and I never did less than 40 (in education) - that was not good for family life and we rarely spent a full weekend together as one of us was with one kid and the other with the other kid. Our holidays were organized according to swimming carnivals or rowing regattas. As to the "outdoors" thing - paradoxically I find I do far more outdoors in UK than I ever did in Aus. Going out slathered in sunscreen had little appeal and when your other "must wear" accessory is fly repellant you dont feel that good. I spent far more time inside with the curtains closed trying to keep the heat out than I ever did outside protecting my skin and batting away the blowies. The weather in UK is not that bad - I cant understand the British preoccupation with it - I have loads of pics taken over the past 6 months and there are more blue skies than rain clouds. My daughter in law was really taken with the couple of months she had here - the grandkids were out every day and could play on the grass, pick the daisies, have picnics (even in late October we were out in sunshine in our tshirts having lunch!) on the grass etc. They dont do that in Aus (Canberra) because it is either too hot and she doesnt let them go out because of skin damage or the rain RAINS so much you cant go and potter around in it in your wellies - and the kids had not played on lawn before only rough fescue which is grass but not lawn! I have had more barbies in UK since we arrived in September too - we barely had one a year in Aus but I have had half a dozen here already. I think if you arent outdoor people in UK then you will probably lapse into being not outdoor people in Aus but for different reasons. If you both are up for the adventure then by all means go for it but if one of you isnt 100% then that could play havoc with your relationship. From your OH's point of view, I would advocate living a long way from your folk - sure they may be support but if she isnt totally with the action then she could quite easily resent the fact that you have people and she doesnt - they are not her folk and it will be far harder for her to get out and make her own solid connections. Far better IMHO be a family unit doing the struggling together rather than one having all the power of their family/friends/support already in place where the other has nothing of their own. No matter how fabulous the inlaws they will not be hers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish.01 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I think Brisbane must be totally different to Canberra as hardly any flies in comparison and outdoors a lot...far more than when in UK for me as the mild Brisbane winter means almost every weekend is dry and sunny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drumbos79 Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 Quoll your advice / opinion has given me a lot of food for thought and is much appreciated. I think you are correct with regard to the family thing - I suppose moving ourselves to Sydney or Melbourne may be a better option at least to start off with, as it will just be my OH and son sharing the challenges together, rather than sharing with my family as you say. It sounds like you Iive in a decent part of the UK if you have had more BBQ'S here than in Oz. I know that the weather isn't the be all and end all but it certainly helps. Mixed weather I can handle but the winters are extremely long up here in Scotland! Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I think Brisbane must be totally different to Canberra as hardly any flies in comparison and outdoors a lot...far more than when in UK for me as the mild Brisbane winter means almost every weekend is dry and sunny. Probably, Canberra is known for its flies, especially since the drought killed off the dung beetles and flies were on the rise again. It's the humidity in Brisbane which would do for me. Lived in the tropics for a while and hated having everything mildewed (lost a fabulous handbag that way!). Flies are endemic to Aus though - we dont have the great Aussie salute for nothing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 It sounds like you Iive in a decent part of the UK if you have had more BBQ'S here than in Oz. I know that the weather isn't the be all and end all but it certainly helps. Mixed weather I can handle but the winters are extremely long up here in Scotland! Thanks again. Hmm barbies in North Yorkshire, South West London, Portsmouth, Norfolk and Cambridge - perhaps a move just a little bit further south would solve your barbie problems LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Homer Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 There is no comparison to eating out in a major UK city in the evening, even in the Inner "burbs but yes, I was referring to outer Suburbs where, let's face it, most people moving to Brisbane will end up due to cost of Housing in the Inner suburbs. It is even worse up the Sunshine Coast but it's worth it as it is so much better than living in Brisbane,(IN MY OPINION IT SHOULD BE NOTED!) even though I enjoyed Brisbane immensely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish.01 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Probably, Canberra is known for its flies, especially since the drought killed off the dung beetles and flies were on the rise again. It's the humidity in Brisbane which would do for me. Lived in the tropics for a while and hated having everything mildewed (lost a fabulous handbag that way!). Flies are endemic to Aus though - we dont have the great Aussie salute for nothing! Only sub tropical here so don't lose handbags to mildew here fortuntately...that's more of a tropical cairns thing....our weather is far milder being 1700km further south. The OP has lived in Brisbane before so would have experienced this. We are lucky enough in Brisbane to be one of the capitals that doesn't suffer with the summer blow fly problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missus B Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Hi everyone this is my first post on Poms in Oz having thought about it for months and now here I am. Having previously lived in Brisbane 15 years ago, I currently live in the UK and work as an Architect and have been trying to convince my wife to move to Oz with our young baby son who is 16 months old. We decided to get married last year in Noosa and I was hoping that our trip would convince her that a move to Oz would be the perfect family outdoor place to live however, things did not go as planned. The day after we arrived in Brisbane it rained and was cold, and our trip to Southbank on two separate occasions were quiet and dull - something I had never experienced having lived there for 18 months plus 5 other holidays!! Our trip to Noosa faired even worse, it poured with rain for 7 days and were married on the beach in the rain. Added to this, my wife ripped her wedding dress on the door as she was leaving the apartment. Seemingly it was the first rain in 5 months! My wife could not see the benefit of living in Oz and thought Brisbane was dull and too quiet compared to Glasgow (I know)!! I would move tomorrow if I could. Anyway she might consider moving to Sydney or Melbourne instead (I havent been to either) and I was wondering what the major differences are from each city in terms of lifestyle, city centre size, city buzz, culture, family events etc. Am I correct in saying that Melbourne may have better job prospects for Architects? My wife works with the council and has experience as a homeless case worker and anti-social behaviour - does anyone have similar experience in trying to find the same type of work? The benefits of Sydney appear to be the close proximity to beaches, the fabulous harbour and scenery? Is this correct? If there are any other Architects out there with recent experiences, I would be glad to hear of them. At the moment I have my skills assessment complete and IELTS test passed - I just need to lodge before the July visa changes!! Out of interest do others find Brisbane dull? Thanks John We went to Brisbane in May/June 2011. We stayed in the Gold Coast. It bucketed down for the first night. And the day after....And the day after that.......You get the picture.:frown: We were there for 2 weeks. We hired a car, which for the 1st week, was pretty pointless as it was too wet to do anything. We worked so hard to pay for that holiday and it felt like we were at home in miserable old rainy England. There were tears:cry: Around day 5, we headed to meet some friends on the Sunny Coast. We headed to Noosa and back to Caloundra. It was splitting the rocks all day. Then it bucketed down on the way home with the most amazing electrical storm I have ever seen. We then headed to Brisbane for the weekend. I have to say, I like the hustle and bustle of a city on a weekend night. I found Brisbane far from dull. We were in Southbank on the Friday night and it was buzzing. We headed across to the casino, which was also buzzing. And from what we gathered, it was busier down the West End and the Valley. I had mixed emotions about going and it took me months to decide. And to be honest, I've had major wobblers the last 2 nights about going. The thoughts of leaving my lovely house and going back into the rental market makes me want to throw up:confused: But I am lucky enough to be able to take a career break and rent my house out, so that is my safety net. I guess we just got unlucky with the weather. But I know it doesn't rain all year round..... I'm excited about finding my way around a new city and getting to know new people. And if it doesn't work out, at least I'll have tried it. I didn't brow beat my OH. We had a mild enough winter this year compared to last year, but he works outdoors and it was enough for him to want to give it a go over there. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide:smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LKC Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 It has been very wet for a couple of years. I am assured by my Australian friends, that it isn't always like this! With respect to the original post, the only thing I would add is that emigrating can put a huge strain on a relationship. My husband and I are lucky in that we do have a strong relationship, and we were both committed and sure that we wanted to move to Australia, but there were times when one or other of us was feeling wobbly, and it does test how strong your relationship is. I would never have put any pressure on my husband to move, had I known he was not sure about doing so, and I know that he wouldn't have put pressure on me. It has to be a joint thing, and I know that that may mean that you have to reign back on your plans, but you may have to find a compromise that you are both happy with. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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