fitnesstasha Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Hello My 18 is addamant he is NOT coming with us...what to dooooooooooooo???? any advice or experience would be really helpfull xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eng32 Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Hello My 18 is addamant he is NOT coming with us...what to dooooooooooooo???? any advice or experience would be really helpfull xxxxxx Hi, I really feel for you, Both my son's aged 19 and 20 are at university and are not migrating with us , even if they weren't at uni, i doubt they would want to come with us, we have our visa and are waiting for house to sell before making the final move!! It is a gut wrenching situation but there father who i'm divorced from will take care of them from here on out I guess it does depend on your current situation and if there's anyone who can take over your role ?? Family etc?? I wouldn't be able to leave them if it wasn,t for the support i have from there father. :hug: I wish you luck and let me know if you need anything further . x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 It depends on your situation and his - can you let him stay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Libbysmummy Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 aww cant offer any advice but i'd be devistated, thats why i'm whipping my eldest away before he has a choice! Must be so hard for you and it is hard letting your children go, but i think if it was me let him make his own choices and mistakes its how we all learn, and then fingers crossed he misses you all like mad and comes over x x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n30nra1n Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Our 18 year old came with us but it was touch and go for a while, a lot depends on the support network he would have if he does stay, not only for him but for your peace of mind, and staying in touch with Skype is easy. It is never easy letting a child go and start their own lives outside of the family nest but whether it is moving to OZ or hat hey simply move out it is going to happen at some point that is reality, doesn't make it any easier to deal with but reality it is none the less. My only real advise is to not force them into doing something they don't want to it will only end in tears for all concerned, if they are adamant they are staying then try to support them in that decision no matter how hard it will be, you will be thanked more for that than the opposite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Perhaps try and negotiate a quick visit so that he validates his visa then enter into all his plans for maintaining an independent life for himself in UK as long as assuring he has support structures in place. Then wave him goodbye, safe in the knowledge that you have been great parents and given him all the skills he needs for his adulthood. No reason why he should choose to relocate to the other side of the world if that doesnt suit his needs and aspirations. For some people, the opportunities and experiences of UK far outweigh those of Australia, no shame in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pintpot Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 ^ I'd go with that, at 18 he is an adult, just, and capable of making his own mistakes and decisions The fact he can get a PR visa on the back of yours is a bonus rather than a problem if you treat it as one - he can visit to validate and then get on with his plans in the UK, safe in the knowledge he can come out later if he wants to I know what I was like when I was 18, and also how embedded I was with mates, uni and other plans, and if my folks had been emigrating at the time I wouldn't have gone with them either - no way. Validating is a great way he and you can keep your options open Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fitnesstasha Posted January 6, 2012 Author Share Posted January 6, 2012 hey guys! sorry in delay and thank u all! lap top problems/...i really appreciate it..i wish everyone would do what i want ;- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 hey guys!sorry in delay and thank u all! lap top problems/...i really appreciate it..i wish everyone would do what i want ;- LOL your kids are never going to do that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Bribe him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 You know what it's like when you're 18. You know everything, you know what is going to be best for you for the rest of your life, you might have already met what you think is the love of your life, you can't imagine moving away from your mates and a different environment, climate. When I was 11 my parents moved from the centre of Chesterfield, 4 miles up the road and I thought it was the end of the world. I thought we were moving into the deepest darkest countryside. Took me about 6 weeks to find new friends and think it was great. It's hard for all of you and if worst comes to worst can you leave him stew in his own juice for a while? He might be able to make a go of it, he might be on a plane in a couple of weeks. Just have to give him the choice I guess. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumpkin Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 This is an old thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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