sioban Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Where will your daughter live if she stays here? Has she got it all sorted out? Maybe she has indeed met the man of her dreams, could you maybe have a chat with him to explain that she is giving up a lot for him just to make sure that he is as serious about the relationship as she is? I know that at 21 she is an adult and entitled to make her choice and that she will always have the option to change it again but she is still your little girl and you just want the best for her. I always believe that what's for you won't go by you - whatever the decision it will be the right one for her. I hope that she does change her mind as I think that Australia has a lot to offer and also that if he is the one for her he will follow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest37336 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Difficult one peeps. Don't take this the wrong way Scuba, being a mum you will ALWAYS to a degree feel a different bond to your child than the dad involved. Women (thank god) are generally far more emotional than fellas and that 'can' play a part in life's decisions as well as the enormous step of migrating. SHE IS 21 and an adult now, and (don't forget I'm a bloke) has to live with her decisions, both good and bad, it's the only way of growing up. As parents we always want to protect our children and for the most part we do, but there comes a time when the words, 'Right, your decision, you HAVE to live with it'. I KNOW that sounds harsh, but sooner or later SHE is the only one who can make this decision, to force/influence her to come would only result in grief in the long term and do more damage than good. But she has to realise that at this late stage certain 'repercussions' are her responsibility, firstly to do all she can to reimburse you for the flights, that is only right and proper IMO anyway. And secondly the decision she has come to at this late stage has caused you emotional strife, she should also be made aware of this, being an adult makes for some difficult decisions, and more often than not those decisions impact on those around us, she has to know what she has done. I KNOW this sounds harsh, it's not meant to be, but life is sh77te at times, and we all learn in our own ways how to deal with it. She may decide to come out in the end, she may not, but seriously Scub, whilst I fully appreciate your predicament this is the life YOU have worked long and hard for, your daughter is an adult and in as much has to realise that mum and dad also have the RIGHT to choose how they live their lives without 'deliberately' hurting anyone else. And that matey is simply what you have done and fair play. She will learn, be it positive or negative, but unfortunately as parents (no matter the age of the child involved) are 'normally' the ones who pick up the pieces once again and try to mend the mistakes our children make. Go for your life my friend, things have a way of working out, and doubtless it will do for you, though at times it will send you :goofy::goofy::arghh::arghh::no::no: a times. Cheers Tony.:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmaroo Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I was your daughter 20 years ago when my parents left so I know what your going through. Every situation is different but one thing I will say is don't force her as it will just put a wedge between you. Good Luck Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest59177 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Hey scuba, Do keep us updated. Wish you all the best. :hug: :hug: :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mickdave Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 i am dying to know what happened here -good luck in oz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I really want to know what happened! please come back and let us know! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sebbers Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 We were in a similar situation with our daughter and her bf. We made the decision to ask him to come along with us on a WHV to see whether he could settle here. In a nutshell it didn't work, we are almost 8 months in now and its a month since the two of them returned to the UK. Whilst waving her off at the airport is the hardest thing any of us have had to do we know that it was the right thing to do. Our daughter is 19 almost 20 and had we tried to stop her from going back she would have resented us for it. Its been hard and we both still live in hope that one day she will return to Oz, having said that as a parent you bring your children up to the best of your ability and hope that they find happiness and if in this case she finds happiness with her boyfriend in the UK well all in all its a job well done as that's all we wish for as parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dolphin69 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Tell her you will pay for her boyfriend to come out here in a few weeks for a visit and then he'll have to go back on his own. If he likes it when he comes, then make suggestions that he can apply to come out here permanently. If they're really that serious about each other, then they'll find a way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr luvpants Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 What happened next? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
domestic goddess Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 They were travelling on the 12th I'm sure jetlag and finding there bearings has scuba occupied. I hope all worked out for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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