Guest fatpom Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 :wub:We are a childless couple (not by choice!!) and although we have made some friends and some great ones, nothing will beat the long term friends that we had in UK. We are struggling at the minute with homesickness, moreso as we reach Christmas. We have been here nearly three years. The visits are tailing off, emails are tailing off, letters/cards are now only at Christmas.......however......... We are STILL staying! We felt settled pretty much immediatly and have bought a house etc. We have acheieved all the objectives that we wanted when we set out for Oz. For some it will work, for some it wont...................as Frank Sinatra says "Thats Life" Your circumstances are similar to ours and I've no intention of returning... never really felt the need to considered it and now not all that interested in going back for a holiday even (although never say never on either count). For me the homesickness set in sometime during the second year and lasted on and off for a couple of years as I best recall... I could safely say it was gone by year five. We too noticed that friends and rellies started to drop off the radar... only natural really but takes awhile to warm to the idea.:smile: I think its pretty important for people to know that it can be a bit hard sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ticktock Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 think seriously before you go home. i was bought home to the uk when i was 7 now have to go through the application process. if they had got me citizenship it would have it simple to go back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest clare and pete Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I know exactly where you are coming from and at times it very hard to explain the reasons why! i lived here for 12 years when i was younger and im back for 2 years. as much as i love Aus, i stiil love my home....UK. my partner is loving it here and at times i am torn as he would love to stay. but hey ho, thats life. The main thing...you tried it, not many people can say they came all this way weather it be for 1 month or 1 year, you made the effort and with many of us pommes, they stay in the same job, house, same routine all there lives, they never go anywhwere. you tried it!! i wish you all the very best of luck and say hi to england for me x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Impatient Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I love this site, posts like these really help me to work out why I am doing what I am doing. It really is different for everyone - for the Imps, we have no home and run the risk of experiencing all the scary feelings those that choose to go back to the UK have quoted - only difference for us is that that could happen to us in the UK in a couple of years when we have to pick somewhere to settle. Without those ties of a comfortable home and familiarity that comes with being somewhere for a while I hope that the Imps will be happy wherever we end up. It is totally my dream to drag them to Oz, and so when they get there how/where they live is up to them, I will have everything I want from life. Hope you all find everything you are looking for too, whether that is in Blighty or Oz... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 Your circumstances are similar to ours and I've no intention of returning... never really felt the need to considered it and now not all that interested in going back for a holiday even (although never say never on either count). For me the homesickness set in sometime during the second year and lasted on and off for a couple of years as I best recall... I could safely say it was gone by year five. We too noticed that friends and rellies started to drop off the radar... only natural really but takes awhile to warm to the idea.:smile: I think its pretty important for people to know that it can be a bit hard sometimes. :yes:Absolutely!!! It is NOT all wine and roses out here. We were one of the lucky few. We took a HUGE gamble coming here, having never been here before. We came out to family, a job for me, and somewhere to stay. Within 10 days we had rented a house just 4 minutes from work. We felt settled within days! are we one of the lucky ones??? Its a shame when friends/family drop off the radar.......like u said - it happens but you dont always like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tahe49 Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 I think one of the hardest things is actually making the decision. I know I felt so much happier actually saying 'yes' I definately want to go. Whether I have made the right or wrong decision only time will tell - but I made it and I feel like a weight has been lifted. You might find that over time, you will be more relaxed because you haven't got this added pressure of 'am I enjoying it.... are the kids happy......shall we try somewhere else' that have probably consumed you for the past 6 months. My advice..... just chill and take some time out enjoying the sun and don't think about it anymore!! I can recommend the fingers in the ears "not listening" type of approach:jiggy: Oooh, and another perspective is by you doing this big move is showing your children that it's ok to take risks......everything works out ok in the end! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest claire&fred Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 I think you are amazingly brave in making your decision it must have been very hard, but it seems you have thought about it thoroughly. At least you gave it a go and when you are back here and happy and settled, you will be able to look back and say "we did it". Not everyone is going to love it. It took my sister a year to settle and in that time they were hit with pretty much everything, but fortunately she had my Dad there and that must make a huge difference having family. Put it like this, I would never have considered emigrating if my Sister and Dad were not there plus my mum is going too now. Goodluck with whatever you decide to do, will be thinking of you. Claire:v_SPIN: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Baggo's Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 Hey Bruces! Sorry its not working out for you. Only you know if you are making the right decision maybe a couple of months will help you settle. good luck with everything I am sure it will all work out for the best! Natalie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Graham&kym Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Stay awhile guys....but move to another place... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gollywobbler Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Hi All My cousin Harry emigrated to Oz about 30 years as a Ten Pound Pom with his wife & kids. Bonnie (Harry's Wife) laothed it and they came back after about 5 years. After another 3-5 year spell in the UK, they went back to Oz. The Family Rumour is that Bonnie then hit the the bottle big-style and died of liver failure aged 63. She had been practically teetotal in the UK. Bonnie always seemed OK when I knew her, so her immature death saddens me. I suspect it would not have happened if they had stayed in the UK. I do not want to see ANY of you go down the same road as Bonnie. That particular road is NOT bluddy well worth it in my view. If you go to Oz but decide to come home, then I'll be here for you. Hugz Gill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Baggo's Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 Just wondering what the ratio / % of people that emigrate to Oz and return home is and after how long?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 6, 2007 Share Posted November 6, 2007 Good luck on your move back. I have been here over 28 years and hate to say but the homesickness is getting worse not better. I go home regularly for holidays now we can afford it (sort of!) and my parents are getting very elderly and our eldest son has sort of emigrated back (would you believe better job opportunities???!). I would give anything to be able to go home but after that long here, we cant afford to get on the property ladder in UK. Added to that, DH is an Aussie who is not going to uproot unless it be to go further out into the bush (aaargh!). I think for most of us, there becomes a point of no return and if you get stuck in the homesick groove after that, well, then you just have to put up with it. I think that point comes when your kids get to about 10, your finances have failed to keep up with UK life, you are half way to long service leave etc. The point of no return passed us by years ago but we didnt realize it and just worked our butts off to keep our heads above water. Enjoy the rest of your time here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest brucestobrisbane Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 I watched a programme the other week on good old aussie tv, and it said on there that an average of 50% returned home...with 25% of them coming back to aus again!!!! That would make the overall return and stay in UK percentage 25%. That's still not bad odd though, you've got a 3 in 4 chance of loving it here and staying!!!!! I'm not a gambler, but I'd back a horse at those odds..hehe. It's got to be worth a try for anyone. It doesn't matter what you read on here, or what people tell you, we all have different perspectives, and different hopes and expectations so you can only know if it's right by trying it for yourselves. I know we weren't remotely interested in listening to anything negative before we came over here, and now that we've tried it, and it's not for us, I still wouldn't want to read a lot of negative stuff. There's nothing wrong with the place at all, it just doesn't suit everyone! Go for your dreams..if you never try for your dreams, you'll never get them. If you try and it doesn't work out, then get up and try something else! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dave&donna Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Hello Bruce i've just read all your posts for the first time and don't know what stage you're up to with coming back?? Can't give you any great words of wisdom because we're still one of the thousands in dream land wanting to get out to oz and jumping through the hoops to get there but just wondered what your motivations for moving from uk were in the first place because you can bet your bottom dollar that those reasons are still here - bad weather, rising price of everything, huge loop holes in the government for all the wrong type of citizens, crime an everyday occurence even in leafy lane places ..... Nobody can know exactly how you're feeling because that's what makes us all individuals but so many times i've heard from people and read on here that that old favourite 'the grass is greener' just doesn't work - come back here for a holiday first to see if this is really where you want to be. Ok you know that it's not brisbane but i'm sure it can't be uk either. I know what you're saying about moving your son around but do you know that you can come back to the area you used to live in here and he can go back to his old school what if you can't then he would still have to make new adjustments? I worry about our 2 sons adapting to a whole new way of life but it's true what they say about kids they adapt easily - they don't have the emotional capacities we have so black is black and white is white they go to school, live, play etc and as most people on here say family is important and no matter how old you are you still need your mum and dad and to your son as long as you're there and he's got his famiy he'll happily survive with what ever comes his way. It's us which makes it harder for them by putting the worries in their heads by asking them all the time what they think, how they feel, if they're ok - basically being loving parents but right up to adult hood they just don't have the same sense of really worry/true emotion apart from love of family - that must be why they REALLY lurrrve celebs/pop stars.... I really hope everything works out for you whatever you decide to do and good luck to you all in the next stage of life's adventurexxxx Donna xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kerstin Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 i thought I would just let you guys know that Bruce is right in what he was saying - no matter what people tell you about a place, negative or not - you will not listen as you have you heart set on something new and different. Nobody can know how you will feel and what experiences you will have. Just by location alone and circumstances can change everything to the next person arriving. As far as we are concerned, we went to NZ first, for over 2 1/2 years, hated it and decided to come here. Going back to the UK was never an option for us. Now that we have been here over 4 months, we have had out share of crap with immigration, but we LOVE it here and i can not imagine living anywhere else. i guess because we have been away from 'home' for a while it is MUCH easier to start again here, even with uncertainty of the future. We are hoping to get our residency by Feb, in the meantime we are just here on a work permit. The long and short of it is this really - try it. If you do not like it try somewhere else, or go back to where you came from - BUT give it a chance, a minimum of 6 months is a must I think. And if it is still not for you - well you have tried and it is not a failure to admit that it is not for you. At least you have tried to do something with your life, not like so many people back 'home' who say they want to go but never do and then complain for the rest of their lives about the missed opportunities in their lives. What is good about a website like this one is to know that you are not alone in feeling all these emotions and if needed there are plenty of people who are more than happy to help, give advise, meet up and UNDERSTAND! Cos unless you do it yourself, the people back home do not know what it feels like. So good luck to all who are still not sure, you will know deep in your heart when it is..... Kerstin & Family P.s. We have just had our 3rd baby - an AUSSIE - so guess we will stay now! :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest brucestobrisbane Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Hi Kirsten Just wanted to say thanks!! and huge congratulations on the baby...how exciting! Nicky.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Hi Nicky, I hope you'll still post when you go back to the UK I'm sure alot of us would want to know how your'e doing Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest brucestobrisbane Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Hi Ali thank you for asking...it's nice to know i'm wanted..ahhh..and yes I will keep in touch. I hope that I might still be able to help others on here even though I will be back at home in UK. There might be things I can do for others in search of the golden ticket! And although I hope there wont be any/many, I might even be of some help to any who are looking to return back again and want to ask any questions. I have been given soooooo much support on here that I couldnt desert you all.....will be my time to give a little back me thinks when i'm back in Blighty. I'll still be around, and of course there's always the fact that i'm really nosey so will need to keep abreast of how everyone else is getting on..hehehe. Positive thoughts to all waiting Love Nicky:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 You'll have tons to contribute Nicky, I'm so impressed with the way you've handled this and how you continue to be really positive about the whole experience, you have a wonderful attitude and I'm sure wherever you are you'll be happy because it'll be the right place for you I realise it'll take you a while to get sorted - but don't stay away too long Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mandy1 Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Hi Just been reading this thread and I think you've been really brave just giving it a go. It won't be for everyone and until you've tried you can't say how you'll feel. We are hoping to get to Oz in February and having been twice before I think it will be fine but until you've been there a while who knows how you'll feel. Good luck with everything and keep us all psoted. Mandy x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest funiowcple Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 we understand. We moved to Brisbane in 1988, life was pretty good to start, expo, beaches and all. we had a couple of children, moved all over Qld with work, and finally settled in Brisbane again, and had a pretty good job, but i never really felt settled. You know the feeling when it doesn't feel 100%. Then a family member died in the UK and I went back for the funeral, and was really drawn back to my family in the UK. I returned to Oz, and asked if the family would move back to the UK with me for a trial period to see how things went. (we had lived in OZ for 14 years then). They agreed, and within 6 months we were back on the Isle of Wight.(but before we left we took out our option for citizenship). I got offered a very well paid job almost straight away, things were looking rosey. then within six months i was made redundant, got another job and was made redundant again. So i started working freelance and all is going well. But I am now ready to go back to Oz, and in June this year we are heading back. Yes i will miss my family here, but life for us was better in Oz, we did more in the evenings, weekends and holidays. We didn't come in, turn on the telly and put our feet up, we lived. Beaches, picnics, forests, friends, bbq's and park lands. In the UK we survived, in Oz we lived. I do understand why people come back to the uk. 25% of people who move to Oz eventually move back to the UK. Its not for every one. it depends on what you had here in the UK and what you do when you are in OZ. So as the advert says, "Where the bloody hell are you?"........... we're packing our bags, put another beer in the fridge, we will be back soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I know what you mean about coming home, turning the tv on and it being so different here. Yesterday we went into the city with the kids and last night we ate alfresco and after dinner we all (us & the kids) just sat talking, nigel told the kids they could go and watch something if they wanted to and they said they'd rather sit outside and talk/listen to us, Me and OH were sat outside until 11pm - we only came in 'cos we're out today for lunch at friends (and the wine ran out too lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Trakki Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 think seriously before you go home. i was bought home to the uk when i was 7 now have to go through the application process. if they had got me citizenship it would have it simple to go back. This is what we have said, even if we hate it we are going to stay long enough to get citizenship for us and the children and then if they ever decide to go to Oz they will be able to just go. Bruces, I hope you find happiness and feel settled wherever you end up, good luck to you and thankyou for being do honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnd Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 we have been in 'oz' for nearly 7 months, in the illawarra area and everything has fell into place for us ....jobs, cars, and we bought a nice house. we did our first real tourist thing on friday straight from work and drove up to fitzroy falls, 45 mins from our house and it was beautiful. i have relatives here and i have been diving, shooting and plenty of drinking....but...but, i find that i am not the same person, all my adult life i played rugby union(retired this year due to injury) , and trained, running gym etc, but since coming to oz my excercise regime has crashed to a halt. i have done some things, even joining a gym, but no where near the 4-5 times a week like in uk. i could put it down to the heat, or moving house, getting jobs etc, but really for the first time in my life i can't be arsed, and i don't like it one bit. i have had ups and downs in my life,( out of work or working long hours, family stuff, etc),but excercise/rugby has always been there helping me focus, and now when i need to do it the most i just can't. someone reading this who exercises regularly will understand this: when you put on your running shoes and go 20 yards down the road and you think 'sod this , i'm not doing it today', and you turn back. this has hapened every time i've gone out, in the uk it happened maybe once a year. i do not feel depressed or particularly homesick, we have good days and bad, but mostly i just feel nuetral, as if i left part of me somewhere else. i had lived in oz before and it was my idea to come, my wife had never been before. i feel that possibly we may have moved to the wrong part of oz???. i don't know, the illawarra hasn't the work opportunities as other parts of oz but me and my wife got jobs straight away. australia as a whole seems to have more employment prospects in general than uk, (especially blue collar work, which is me), and although we don't have kids , i think oz is a better place for families than uk, it is a generally a better place....but, as a friend said to me the other day on the phone,' uk is a dump, but its my dump'. moving here has made me realise that my life in uk was ok, and maybe i shouldn't have been in such a rush to leave. australia is not heaven on earth it has problems like anywhere. we are going to do two years get our citizenship then review it. i would find it hard moving back into a 'uk' type house , as i really like the style/layout of my home. we now also have two cats and have to consider wether to take them back with us if we go back. but we have deifnatley gone for it and not sat in the house moping, it just feels odd, we'll see. well thats my rant over, johnd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sharon leslie Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 Hi Nicky, my husband and I arrived in november and are finding it difficult to settle, we are living in Aspley, north of Brisbane city. We are trying to stay postive but feel our live is just the same but in a hotter climate. We will will stick at it for a bit longer but if things don't get better then we would think about going back to Scotland. Take care Sharon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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