Guest valleylass Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 How are you doing mate? If you can/are able to keep us posted on the trials and tribulations of your second coming. Your last thread got masses of hits so there's plenty interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest37175 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 How are you doing mate? If you can/are able to keep us posted on the trials and tribulations of your second coming. Your last thread got masses of hits so there's plenty interested. Hiya, thanks for that. Ok-ish so far. Still jet-lagged and very confused, not least by the Melbourne transport network!. It's going to be very tough. When we came out to Oz in 2008 I thought to myself "I'm just going to do this the once," and now I feel a bit like a prisoner who released from captivity only to be told it was all a mistake and I have to go back inside! I wasn't in England long enough for this new experience to be quite so jarring, but little things are already bugging me. The usual crap stuff like the Australian media, 1970's supermarkets and Optus's perennial incompetance. Little things that make up a big problem. But, my partner seems so much happier. She's smiling and optimistic for the first time in months, and so I'm grateful for that. Will keep you posted. Oz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Didnt realize it was going to be quite that quick, you poor devil! Ah well, I hope things work out for the best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MSTO Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Wow I didnt realise you going back so quickly. Oh well, good luck Oz, hope it all works out for you and your family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest valleylass Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 Ditto that - didn't realise it'd be so quick either. Blimey better sooner than later I suppose - means the anticipation doesn't get under your skin. Glad your partner is happier. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 The usual crap stuff like the Australian media, 1970's supermarkets and Optus's perennial incompetance. If it makes you feel any better, telecommunications incompetence isn't limited to Australia, Last time I was in the UK, I had multiple run-ins with BT, NTL, Orange and Vodaphone, all in the space of two-three years... And don't get me started on the Swiss ones... Floptus actually knocked $20 off our monthly bill yesterday, and increased our cap from 20Gb to 120Gb in the process, which means I can actually start using the web to access BBC iplayer etc. If you've got enough internet cap, it might be worth looking into it, getting British TV might help with the situation. You just need to download a program that redirects you through a server with a UK IP address. When I was in Switzerland I used one called your-freedom that gave me three hours a day for free, and had the option to pay if I wanted longer. My friend in Perth used the same program, so it does work from Australia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Ditto that - didn't realise it'd be so quick either. Blimey better sooner than later I suppose - means the anticipation doesn't get under your skin. Glad your partner is happier. Good luck I can't believe you have gone back that quick either. Good luck Oz:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Look on the bright side. Australian Open is on in Melbourne, a world class event which you can go to. Not sure if you realise too, you don't have to use Optus. Try Telstra for a change. Anyway life is full of negatives, but lots of positives too. you just have to see them. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest37175 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 If it makes you feel any better, telecommunications incompetence isn't limited to Australia, Last time I was in the UK, I had multiple run-ins with BT, NTL, Orange and Vodaphone, all in the space of two-three years... And don't get me started on the Swiss ones... Floptus actually knocked $20 off our monthly bill yesterday, and increased our cap from 20Gb to 120Gb in the process, which means I can actually start using the web to access BBC iplayer etc. If you've got enough internet cap, it might be worth looking into it, getting British TV might help with the situation. You just need to download a program that redirects you through a server with a UK IP address. When I was in Switzerland I used one called your-freedom that gave me three hours a day for free, and had the option to pay if I wanted longer. My friend in Perth used the same program, so it does work from Australia. Cheers for that. Very useful info and well worth looking into. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest37175 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I can't believe you have gone back that quick either. Good luck Oz:hug: Thanks Connie. Was very sorry to read about your mother in law. Did put my own dramas into some kind of perspective for me. Very glad to hear you're happy to be home though, and that you're still posting :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozsurfie Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 UKtv2go was recommended in another thread - i am going to give it a go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Thanks Connie. Was very sorry to read about your mother in law. Did put my own dramas into some kind of perspective for me. Very glad to hear you're happy to be home though, and that you're still posting :biggrin: Thanks for your kind words it has been a nightmare particularly because my husband was in Toowoomba when the floods hit and was caught up in them-I was here with 3 young children and quite frankly terrified (although I obviously didn't tell them the floods were anywhere near their father) He is home now and we are all thrilled-he has to now grieve for his mother-but still maintains we are in the right place- I know that I am extremely lucky... All of our 'dramas' are all relative. I fully understand how you must be feeling and that makes me feel awful. It is a no win situation for you- unless of course you do settle better in Melbourne (and I sincerely hope that you do). I'm curious to understand though how you had to stick it for 2 years but because your other half didn't settle here you left after a couple of months-Sorry to be so blunt. Good luck to you all Oz and try your best -:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rollergirl86 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I hope you're wife appreciates the sacrifice you made. All the best and I really hope you like Melbourne, it's a great city and what I would consider the most English in Australia if i had to pick one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest37175 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Thanks for your kind words it has been a nightmare particularly because my husband was in Toowoomba when the floods hit and was caught up in them-I was here with 3 young children and quite frankly terrified (although I obviously didn't tell them the floods were anywhere near their father) He is home now and we are all thrilled-he has to now grieve for his mother-but still maintains we are in the right place- I know that I am extremely lucky... All of our 'dramas' are all relative. I fully understand how you must be feeling and that makes me feel awful. It is a no win situation for you- unless of course you do settle better in Melbourne (and I sincerely hope that you do). I'm curious to understand though how you had to stick it for 2 years but because your other half didn't settle here you left after a couple of months-Sorry to be so blunt. Good luck to you all Oz and try your best -:hug: Gosh Connie, I can only begin to imagine how horrendous that must have been for you. When we lived in QLD I'd regularly drive down roads with the 'Likelihood of Flooding' signs on the roadside and I could never conceptualise how people could be swept to their deaths or trapped in their cars. Watching the dramatic news coverage in recent weeks has illustrated in awful clarity just how swift and savage the weather can be there. Glad to hear that he got back to you safe and sound. Re our own situation, my partner never really wanted to return to the UK, just as I had never wanted to go to Aus. Realistically I think that meant that we were backing a loser from the off. She had, once upon a time, loved the UK and really identified with it, but those days now are long gone. She was deeply unhappy right from the off and this was compounded by her not being able to get work. In her mind she'd given up a life in QLD which, whilst not perfect, offered her a job and a school place for our daughter, as well as a home of our own. In England I was the only one working and for some weeks I was away working in London whilst she was up north staying with my family and was bored out of her mind. After about 7-8 weeks of this she announced that she was heading back to Aus as we didn't have our own place to live or a school place for our daughter. There was lots of tears and on her part and a lot of resentment too. She felt that Britain had closed it's doors to her and that there was no point in staying there. She'd always been a very happy, easy-going person before this, but now she was often angry, bitter and despondent. Having lived with Depression myself I feel now that I recognise the signs of it and that the only way to assist her with it was to head back to Aus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Gosh Connie, I can only begin to imagine how horrendous that must have been for you. When we lived in QLD I'd regularly drive down roads with the 'Likelihood of Flooding' signs on the roadside and I could never conceptualise how people could be swept to their deaths or trapped in their cars. Watching the dramatic news coverage in recent weeks has illustrated in awful clarity just how swift and savage the weather can be there. Glad to hear that he got back to you safe and sound. Re our own situation, my partner never really wanted to return to the UK, just as I had never wanted to go to Aus. Realistically I think that meant that we were backing a loser from the off. She had, once upon a time, loved the UK and really identified with it, but those days now are long gone. She was deeply unhappy right from the off and this was compounded by her not being able to get work. In her mind she'd given up a life in QLD which, whilst not perfect, offered her a job and a school place for our daughter, as well as a home of our own. In England I was the only one working and for some weeks I was away working in London whilst she was up north staying with my family and was bored out of her mind. After about 7-8 weeks of this she announced that she was heading back to Aus as we didn't have our own place to live or a school place for our daughter. There was lots of tears and on her part and a lot of resentment too. She felt that Britain had closed it's doors to her and that there was no point in staying there. She'd always been a very happy, easy-going person before this, but now she was often angry, bitter and despondent. Having lived with Depression myself I feel now that I recognise the signs of it and that the only way to assist her with it was to head back to Aus. Oh Oz how awful. It really is a terrible situation for both of you, I really hope that you can both manage to make it through in Melbourne. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Welcome Ozsceptic, sorry to hear of your situation. Could you join in a few of the get togethers here to get some support for yourself with this move. Hope it will turn out OK. (I was once in this situation myself, a long time ago, but it is difficult). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Hiya, thanks for that. Ok-ish so far. Still jet-lagged and very confused, not least by the Melbourne transport network!. It's going to be very tough. When we came out to Oz in 2008 I thought to myself "I'm just going to do this the once," and now I feel a bit like a prisoner who released from captivity only to be told it was all a mistake and I have to go back inside! I wasn't in England long enough for this new experience to be quite so jarring, but little things are already bugging me. The usual crap stuff like the Australian media, 1970's supermarkets and Optus's perennial incompetance. Little things that make up a big problem. But, my partner seems so much happier. She's smiling and optimistic for the first time in months, and so I'm grateful for that. Will keep you posted. Oz As you decided to come back to Australia despite not really wanting to, I think a change of mindset may assist you . If you continue to compare and dislike then how is it ever going to get better for you, just send you further down. Now I know all about depression been there done that. What has to happen is that we look for the good in our life not the bad and we act like adults, not spoilt children who need everything just right for them. When those thoughts come into our heads we have to stamp right on them. Good luck I hope to see a more positive you in the future as the alternative I guess is to return and have your other half unhappy and how long can that go on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stovies Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 As you decided to come back to Australia despite not really wanting to, I think a change of mindset may assist you . If you continue to compare and dislike then how is it ever going to get better for you, just send you further down. Now I know all about depression been there done that. What has to happen is that we look for the good in our life not the bad and we act like adults, not spoilt children who need everything just right for them. When those thoughts come into our heads we have to stamp right on them. Good luck I hope to see a more positive you in the future as the alternative I guess is to return and have your other half unhappy and how long can that go on. Geesh Petals, that advice just seems so harsh. If we don't nurture ourselves who's going to do it for us? Of course we should seek what is right for ourselves. It is not a bad thing to seek what we want out of life and it certainly should not be 'stamped upon'. Also when you say that you know all about depression because you've 'been there done that' well, that just sends a shiver down my spine as depression can be so different for everyone. You can't have been there and done Oz's depression. That would be impossible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 As you decided to come back to Australia despite not really wanting to, I think a change of mindset may assist you . If you continue to compare and dislike then how is it ever going to get better for you, just send you further down. Now I know all about depression been there done that. What has to happen is that we look for the good in our life not the bad and we act like adults, not spoilt children who need everything just right for them. When those thoughts come into our heads we have to stamp right on them. Good luck I hope to see a more positive you in the future as the alternative I guess is to return and have your other half unhappy and how long can that go on. Don't hold back Petals...have you been on the red wine again....:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Yep its hard what I have said and no red wine for me, its just that when depressive or suffer from depression whatever type, having negative thoughts is the last thing we need to foster. I have done group as support and we have to keep stomping on the negative. Once we give into the negative what is the point of doing anything, we have given up. We have to think our illness will never return and try and make sure it doesnt. Two lists, words left negative words thoughts, right positive words thoughts that list is my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I suppose what Petals means is that Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is probably one of the best strategies for dealing with depression - doesnt necessarily make it go away but does help dull the pain a little bit. It's more a matter of changing what you say to help you change what you think - positive self talk and thought stopping are a couple of basic strategies. I find reframing helps me too, it is easier to cope if you know that what you are coping with is the least worst option. However at the end of the day, with situational depression, the only real solution is to remove yourself from the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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