What are the things that help you most to live away from home?

[B1K3R]

Many people live away from home, family and childhood friends. As you all know, when we immigrate to a new country, we have to find new jobs, new suburbs, get accustomed to the system, make new friends etc etc. I think only few go to a new country and have family and friends waiting for them.

 

So, to those that miss family, friends, home....what makes them stay in the country that they have migrated to?

 

1. cause you have found a great job and totally fullfilled?

2. and cause you have made new friends and these make up for the 'lost' ones?

3. and cause now you have a great lifestyle and weather (ups its raining ??? :biglaugh: ) ?

4. and cause you are stuck due to financial situations, or OH or kids or other commitments?

5. and cause deep down you know that after all that is the place you want to spend the rest of your life?

6. other?

 

I am just curious to what are the ingridients that make you stay away from 'home' :laugh:

 

It's different for everyone, but it's good to know all the reasons (so that i can pave the red carpet for OH :biglaugh:) I have to be honest that in my case I am 100% not affected by this (missing my country (not from UK!), family and friends). But I am not the norm anyway, and wife thinks I'm an alien :laugh:

 

Cheers

B!K3R

[Guest guest30038]

First time in my life that I've shown any real commitment.

 

My 1st wife buggered off and left me wiith the older kids who eventually, all entered the forces, and other than them, I have no family so I was used to "going it alone". Meeting my now (2nd) wife who was also ex service and didn't have great attachment to family, it just seemed natural on arriving here, that a "fresh start" would lead to us both finally putting down roots.

 

She has a great job which she loves, I kept myself busy fostering and raising my 2 bubs, so never really had time to think about, or miss anything, to do with the UK...........This is home.............end of.

 

kev

[whopperdaisy]

Number 4, I don't have a choice so I figure I may as well make the best of it while I am here.

 

The things that help me to deal with that are to try to have a touch of home every now and again and to talk with people dealing with similar challenges. I do think that getting to some of the PIO get togethers is very valuable in helping to remind you that others are going through similar experiences, usually there will be someone who has an answer to most of your questions and you get a fix of British banter which can be really comforting. It is finding a balance between integrating in your new home but indulging a little in reminiscing, without wanting Australia to be a warmer version of England. Also, I think when it is tough, don't make any snap decisions.

[Quoll]

Stuck here because of an Australian husband who wont leave - would be off in a heartbeat if I were footloose and fancy free though. I didnt "emigrate" per se, we just followed the opportunities as life offered them and this is where we ended up unfortunately. As for the rest, settling and all, I think you have to be very self sufficient - as were we, with a couple of little kids and no extended family within 10 hours drive. You also have to be somewhat hard hearted to see the looks on the faces of those you love when you take away some of their reasons for living to the other side of the world and not crumble into a gibbering wreck. We came here in the days of airmail letters and L1 a minute phone calls and in some ways that made things easier because there wasnt the constant connection with home and the niggling feeling that you werent part of it any more. I would think Skype actually makes it a lot harder because you never quite sever the ties and you are constantly picking at the scab of your old life. I never had the sort of enmeshment homesickness that many new arrivals have these days. I think you and the next generation have to put up with the sense of isolation - I've said it before but both my adult sons have commented on how we, as a family, were isolated in comparison to their partners, both of whom have monster extended families, one in UK and one here in Aus.

 

For me, the reason I want to go to UK is that it is where I "belong" - very nebulous reason really and hard to describe just why this isnt where I belong - even though to all intents and purposes it looks to any outsider that I have "settled" very well (I even have the accent, heaven forbid!). I think there are a swag of us who have been here over 2 decades, settled well, got the kids off our hands, had a good time but now feel that the holiday is over and we want to live in a place where we dont have to work at belonging but actually belong without trying.

[Guest guest37336]

Hi mate.

 

I guess it would be number 6, 'Other' for me.

 

Apart from some situations that were very much out of my control I would have stayed in Australia in a heartbeat.

 

My mum and dad are still going strong, a few niggles etc, comes with age I guess, and it is ONLY them that will ever make my return to Australia semi permeant. GOD FORBID the day they go, but that is the day I/we will end up back in Australia and truly call it 'home' and permanent.

 

I have struggled in Australia many times, no money, no job, no so called future, but I tell you what mate, even though I have felt the same experience in the UK as well, there was (to me) always hope, somewhere down the line and I knew Australia would come good, and it did, on every occasion.

 

The times I have totally at a loss here in the UK and nothing has changed at all, probably my fault to be truthful. But I can whatever the situation I find myself in Australia always rely on it to come good and be there for me when I need it.

 

Not having a pop at the UK, but it has NEVER given me the feeling of 'contentment', again, maybe my fault. Though I still miss things about the UK when I am away, they are not nearly enough to pull me back, my mum and dad are the only things I worry about when I am over there, and that is the way it should be.

 

Even though they would not raise an eyebrow if we went tomorrow, my own very deep love and respect for them would not allow me to move permanently 'yet', the love and bond is just to strong mate.

 

So thats it really mate, hope it all makes sense.

 

Cheers Tony.:wink:

[dufont]

Number 5. We didn't come to Australia with any expectations but it was always a place I felt I should be for some reason.........don't know why. I have family in the UK but never spent a great deal of time with them and in some respects moving half way round the world meant I did not have to feel guilty at not spending time with them as it was no longer possible. I wanted to give our children a better quality of life and the freedom to choose where they would like to live in the future as now they have another option. As it happens everyone is settled and really enjoys life here.......let's hope it continues