Guest guest36187 Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 Thats the trouble - people dont!!! lol! OPening post again as a reminder : I am interested to know why people who often spend a considerable amount of money, do their research and wait for ages to get their visa's decide to return home after a matter of weeks / months? Please don't read this as a criticism - It is not intended to spark defensive responses from homesick brits! I am genuinely interested and feel it may help others who are yet to come out here make a decision... Myself and OH came to Oz in Oct 07, we now have a daughter and the pull for us to go home is almost unbearable (for me) most of the time! However, we are planning to stick it out to get our citizenship in 2011 although we know it'll be tough. Many times over the past few years we have felt really homesick but have always had at the back of our minds that there was a reason we came her in the first place and to give it a go. :cool: S. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
byrned Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 I am interested to know why people who often spend a considerable amount of money, do their research and wait for ages to get their visa's decide to return home after a matter of weeks / months? Please don't read this as a criticism - It is not intended to spark defensive responses from homesick brits! I am genuinely interested and feel it may help others who are yet to come out here make a decision... Myself and OH came to Oz in Oct 07, we now have a daughter and the pull for us to go home is almost unbearable (for me) most of the time! However, we are planning to stick it out to get our citizenship in 2011 although we know it'll be tough. Many times over the past few years we have felt really homesick but have always had at the back of our minds that there was a reason we came her in the first place and to give it a go. :cool: S. I think from my point anyway, you get wrapped up in the excitment of and thought of been given an opportunity to go and live in another country, I gave my life in england little thought ie friends and family on how i would cope without them, took my life and what I had for granted and my country, it was only when I got to Australia and settled down after sorting everything out that I stood and looked around me and was very under whelmed, compared everything to the UK and thought this is no better then what I left behind, got frustrated in how systems worked, seemed very backward to me, ie being charged to use ATM's lots of other things too many to list for me anyway, if it was just up to me I would of been a flight back to UK in the first 12 months and still would but circumstances predict it is not my time yet to go, one day I will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest37175 Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 so much anger....:wubclub: I can't see why Chris's comment has provoked the response it has either. My Australian OH has pulled me up on loads of occasions for holding on to my past life in London and not embracing the Gold Coast. It would have made life a lot easier for me if I could have forgotten that past life :daydreaming: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 I don't honestly see how or why it was so misinterpreted, obviously I didn't mean wipe your memory banks but just put it to one side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aldo Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 I can't see why Chris's comment has provoked the response it has either. My Australian OH has pulled me up on loads of occasions for holding on to my past life in London and not embracing the Gold Coast. It would have made life a lot easier for me if I could have forgotten that past life :daydreaming: Thanks, if been reading through this thread and i can't for the life of me see what it was that ruffled the feathers. Those who fit straight in and can forget their previous lives are very fortunate seem a fair enough comment to me:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bottle top Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 What a thing to say! Who moves here and FORGETS their life before? I really dont know where you get your ideas from sometimes Boa. Its not an old life and a new life - Its a progression! Calm down lol:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aldo Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 who's boa? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 Blimey, so much angst over a short little sentence. Of course you dont forget what your life was like where you were before but I read it that you do things in your life which matter to you and then you find yourself living that life in another place where you can no longer do the things that matter to you. Sure you can do another whole set of things but if they dont matter to you then it really is a lower quality of life for you. I mean a whole range of things here from enjoying the company of extended family through shopping in Waitrose to digging up your dead rellies and spending the afternoon walking in the countryside (your whole lifestyle in fact). When you find that those things you value and enjoy are not on your current menu then you do resent the fact that you are not able to do them. If, as seems for some folk here, you can live without all those things and can replace them by shopping in Coles, talking to family on Skype, spending days at the beach etc then you are more likely to fit in. For some the replacement menu is enough to end their days, for others the replacement menu is like a snack but you eventually want to get back to the real deal. Horses for courses and I know just what Chris meant - I dont think there was anything pejorative in it at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 Its down to interpretation as someone said a few posts back , thats all. Im not angry about it Bottletop. It is purely interpretation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 Yes, as I said but thankfully most seemed to interpret it exactly as it was meant. Chris will do just fine Joanne. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 Ok guys, back to the OP (again) I am interested to know why people who often spend a considerable amount of money, do their research and wait for ages to get their visa's decide to return home after a matter of weeks / months? Please don't read this as a criticism - It is not intended to spark defensive responses from homesick brits! I am genuinely interested and feel it may help others who are yet to come out here make a decision... Myself and OH came to Oz in Oct 07, we now have a daughter and the pull for us to go home is almost unbearable (for me) most of the time! However, we are planning to stick it out to get our citizenship in 2011 although we know it'll be tough. Many times over the past few years we have felt really homesick but have always had at the back of our minds that there was a reason we came her in the first place and to give it a go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsindecision Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 I am a little worried about the more confrontational approach in UK or by English people in general which I often see on the forum which is a real shame as it stops us from getting into the real discussion. I understood exactly what chris meant and in fact think those I see who settle have either the capacity to leave their old life behind or bring enough of it with them ( family) to replicate most of it here. I felt completely unable to let go properly mainly because I just didnt want to - those people /interests were really important to me - made me who I am today. I tried to listen to ABC national and watch Australian TV rather than hanker for my old favorites but inexplicably I was drawn back to UKTV and Radio 4 online. I really enjoy my 15 minutes a day listening to the Archers and catching up with weekend woman's hour and the Friday night comedy show. Unfortunately I have not found anything here that can match the humour and companionship I had at home. I am going back feeling a little nervous that I wont handle the pace any more or the more up front attitude which I have subconciously toned down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 Goodness me everyone seems uptight today! For me the effort and cost of getting here pales ino insignificance when we feel the way we do. We didn't come here for a better life though so maybe we are different. I don't get why people are determined to see it through if they are desperately unhappy (they obviously have a stronger will than me). We can't stay longer as the danger for us would be the kids becoming too attched to their Aussie extended family and then it would be much harder for us to leave(it's agony enough as it is). It's been said so many times but if people are coming here just for the better climate (although that's another debate) then the culture shock can be huge. I know people who have stuck it out and ended up loving it- equally I know others who have stuck it out and ended up trapped because kids or OH's now love it- that scares the hell out of me-luckily my Aussie Hubby agrees. No amount of money/wasted effort or embarrassment is worth your sanity. That said going home and starting again is not the easy option -it's really scary to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest proud2beaussie Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 I don't think there is a hard and fast answer to this one,everyone is different,some people will just know by instinct that they will never be able to settle here and they just want to get home quickly before they become terribly depressed about being somewhere that doesn't "do it" for them,but others maybe have a different attitude to life and will be more "adventurous" and willing to try another part of the country,some of those people may settle elsewhere quite quickly but others will find that no matter where they try Australia just isn't their cup of tea,and then they head home,and there is no shame in heading back ,at least those people who try it have given it a go and will never have to say "if only". Australia is fabulous for some but not for others,and the people who go home quickly just happen to realise that it's not for them equally as quickly.Nothing wrong in that either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sally04 Posted May 30, 2010 Author Share Posted May 30, 2010 Goodness me everyone seems uptight today! For me the effort and cost of getting here pales ino insignificance when we feel the way we do. We didn't come here for a better life though so maybe we are different. I don't get why people are determined to see it through if they are desperately unhappy (they obviously have a stronger will than me). We can't stay longer as the danger for us would be the kids becoming too attched to their Aussie extended family and then it would be much harder for us to leave(it's agony enough as it is). It's been said so many times but if people are coming here just for the better climate (although that's another debate) then the culture shock can be huge. I know people who have stuck it out and ended up loving it- equally I know others who have stuck it out and ended up trapped because kids or OH's now love it- that scares the hell out of me-luckily my Aussie Hubby agrees. No amount of money/wasted effort or embarrassment is worth your sanity. That said going home and starting again is not the easy option -it's really scary to be honest. I agree with what you're saying and it's good that you've commented on the reason for your decision to return home, which is what i was initally asking for peoples views on... We have decided to "stick it out" so we can get our aussie citizenship so we have the option to easily return in the future if we wish. Plus with our daughter being an aussie we feel we need to become citizens for her beneift as well as ours. I also think it was easier for us when we first arrived in Melbourne to see how things went (despite being homesick a lot of the time), as we had no ties and just ourselves to answer to. Many posts in this thread have commented on how people decided if Australia is a place they want to be or whether they prefer living in the UK and have plans to or have returned there, which are all interesting to hear about and the basis i think of the vast majority of threads and discussion points on this site in various forms. However, I would have been interested to hear more about people's experiences who came to Oz and then left or are in the process of leaving after a VERY short time here (e.g 2 weeks/months), as regardless of whether you instinctively know its not the place for you, is still in my opinion such a very short time frame to make a call on such a big life event and people in these situatios must have had very strong feelings/reasons to return home so soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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