Guest gastovski Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 Hey all, I emigrated to SA in June 2008, 6 months after my parents and sister moved over here. Made a life for myself, and then my best mate from the UK came to see me whilst she was travelling the south pacific. We ended up being together, and she moved out here on a working holiday visa in May 2009. It is now May 2010... And her visa is running out soon. She has announced that, as she cannot find work in SA (or Aus for that matter) she wants to go back to the UK - is booking her flights and returning next week. Now my dilemma... Do I stay here, or do I go back to the UK. I don't want to. I have a job which I wouldn't have in the UK (My qualifications are not in my field of expertise). I am involved with the community here. And my family are here. What the hell do I do?!?! Move back to the UK with permanent residency in Aus, or lose my partner of 2 years.......... Ouch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terry & Melanie Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 Its a very personal dilema. Only you know what your relationship is with your partner, but ulimately if you go and you really don't want to, the relationship wont last anyway! Good luck! Melanie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jayde Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 sounds like you are between a rock and a hard place, and while noone can make up your mind for you, some things to consider are: Would she want to live forever with you in Australia, is that what you want? Does she qualify for a spouse visa? it may be worth applying for citizenship as soon as you are close to the qualifying time, then you keep your options open if you decide to go back. Couples can find this is a problem, if a partner misses their home town, family or country too much, then having children can be an issue, as there are laws regarding taking them from one country to another and living with one parent. good luck with whatever country your decision takes you to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 I always think (and i'm sorry for sounding blunt) but if you have to ask you probably already know the answer .... only you can make the decision and whatever is said won't honestly sway you either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 If she is the woman you want to grow old with, then go with her. People are the most important things in your life and if she is "the one" then you do what you have to do to be together. If you think there are a whole load of other fish in the sea then cut loose and try for some if you dont want to leave where you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest YellowGecko Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 Best advice I can give... ALWAYS always always give a place a minimum of 3 years. Then decide. You may be surprised how you feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest samjones Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 Plenty more fish in the sea!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest22466 Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 Hey all, I emigrated to SA in June 2008, 6 months after my parents and sister moved over here. Made a life for myself, and then my best mate from the UK came to see me whilst she was travelling the south pacific. We ended up being together, and she moved out here on a working holiday visa in May 2009. It is now May 2010... And her visa is running out soon. She has announced that, as she cannot find work in SA (or Aus for that matter) she wants to go back to the UK - is booking her flights and returning next week. Now my dilemma... Do I stay here, or do I go back to the UK. I don't want to. I have a job which I wouldn't have in the UK (My qualifications are not in my field of expertise). I am involved with the community here. And my family are here. What the hell do I do?!?! Move back to the UK with permanent residency in Aus, or lose my partner of 2 years.......... Ouch! As your having to ask the question I would say let her go home and you stay with your family as it is not working out really as expected. The last thing you need is then children involved and its a huge ask from both of you .....to each other. I hope you can work it out which ever way it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 Best advice I can give...ALWAYS always always give a place a minimum of 3 years. Then decide. You may be surprised how you feel. that's not always possible and 3 years is a long time to be unhappy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kangaroo.bruce Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 be a gentleman and tell her you'll give her a lift to the airport:biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 Hey all, I emigrated to SA in June 2008, 6 months after my parents and sister moved over here. Made a life for myself, and then my best mate from the UK came to see me whilst she was travelling the south pacific. We ended up being together, and she moved out here on a working holiday visa in May 2009. It is now May 2010... And her visa is running out soon. She has announced that, as she cannot find work in SA (or Aus for that matter) she wants to go back to the UK - is booking her flights and returning next week. Now my dilemma... Do I stay here, or do I go back to the UK. I don't want to. I have a job which I wouldn't have in the UK (My qualifications are not in my field of expertise). I am involved with the community here. And my family are here. What the hell do I do?!?! Move back to the UK with permanent residency in Aus, or lose my partner of 2 years.......... Ouch! We moved here only 4 months ago and know that we will never settle here and because time is not on our side and everyday is errible we are leaving in september-luckiy my Aussie husband feels the same-I guess because of my feelings towards the UK and Oz most peple would expect my reply to be for you to go back- but it isn't. If you are happy here and your life is working well and your family are here then you would probably resent our girlfriend if you returned. The last situation you would want to be in would be that you couldn't get back to the place you now call home. If your girlfriend is prepared to leave you because she can't find work it could be that she doesn't like it here anyway. She may change her mind when she gets back. I would stay where I'm happy- we came out here for family and they are great but it's not enough to keep us here and that has been a very hard expensive lesson. Good luck-there are many,many expats in your position and I fel so sorry for them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 Hey all, I emigrated to SA in June 2008, 6 months after my parents and sister moved over here. Made a life for myself, and then my best mate from the UK came to see me whilst she was travelling the south pacific. We ended up being together, and she moved out here on a working holiday visa in May 2009. It is now May 2010... And her visa is running out soon. She has announced that, as she cannot find work in SA (or Aus for that matter) she wants to go back to the UK - is booking her flights and returning next week. Now my dilemma... Do I stay here, or do I go back to the UK. I don't want to. I have a job which I wouldn't have in the UK (My qualifications are not in my field of expertise). I am involved with the community here. And my family are here. What the hell do I do?!?! Move back to the UK with permanent residency in Aus, or lose my partner of 2 years.......... Ouch! Read Quolls post further down the board ......she is spot on . " is she the one"? In 1987 , my then new girlfriend flew out to Oz to see me . i had a job ,a good life in oz . Would i give it all up and return to the UK ?.........of course i did ........we went back to England ,got married in 1989 ,and then returned to oz . we have been married for 21 years , and have 2 kids . Put the people ,before the place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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