Guest michelledenham Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Hi all, Been here 6months and am sooo homesick! Have decided that I want the family to be more apart of my kids life. Don't want to give up the family for abit of sun! But has anyone gone home and regreted it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aldo Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 You sound like you don't quite know for sure what you want at the moment. If I where you i would wait until any doubts about coming home or "regretting it" have gone and you would sell a body part just to get on that plane. If you're like me it won't be long and that way you will have no niggling thoughts about "did i do the right thing..." Good luck in what ever you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Ropey HOFF Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Hi all, Been here 6months and am sooo homesick! Have decided that I want the family to be more apart of my kids life. Don't want to give up the family for abit of sun! But has anyone gone home and regreted it? Hi michelle, it must be awful for you, most of us who are thinking about going are doing so because of ALL the things that are going wrong in the UK, we know with every fibre in our bodies that its better in Australia for our kids future, BUT and its the BIGGEST BUT ever, we have to leave the people that we love and thats the biggest hurdle for most, best of luck in what you decide, but don't rush your decision. jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 no i love the uk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 I am sure there are people who having once emigrated then find it hard to settle anywhere hence the ping pongers - some of them are even ping pong pingers. I dont buy the "better future for the kids" thing, that's just an excuse to scratch an adult itch for adventure and you could question whether a future of isolation with just your olds is a better future at all whereas you could have extended family and long standing friends for them. Life is all about connections not stuff. In terms of all those other negatives trotted out by the Daily Fail on a regular basis eg drugs - there is no difference at all, mental health - probably on a par but youth suicides in particular are higher here than in UK. Job wise it is going to be pretty much the same - smaller pond so fewer opportunities perhaps. Lots of sun - sure, no question, but whether being slathered with sunscreen and fly repellant every day of your life just to go outside is a plus then I think the jury is out on that one (and if you dont slather up then melanoma looms large in your future). Young Australians more than any others usually cannot wait to escape once they have done school/uni and many try not to come back especially if they can get their foot on a career ladder in Europe. I know many who have been glad of their UK passport and have found their feet in UK/Europe (my son's school has a regular London reunion and a lot of old boys attend) It appears that the first year is the worst for migrants and after that time then people either know they dont belong or they love it or maybe they are desensitized to it. It certainly does seem that the shorter the time you spend here, the more likely you are to return because of the "we should have tried harder" angst. There is nothing in the rule book that says you have to think Australia is the best thing since sliced bread and if it doesnt float your boat then a move elsewhere (and I refrain from saying "back" because you can never go back to exactly what you had) to a place where you can get the things that you value in your life is perfectly acceptable. Your kids wont be disadvantaged, you wont be disadvantaged you will just have different things to fill your life up with. Good luck with whatever decision you make, put a realistic time frame on making decisions and review how things are working for you at regular intervals and make active choices about where you want to be while you have the chance and it will be fine. :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bod Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Not yet Michelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k8bug79 Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 In some ways I am not qualified to answer your post as I am yet to even step foot in Oz let alon understand how you are feeling. However, I have moved around an awful lot in my life. 4 years ago I came home to Cornwall to be closer to my family. My Dad moved out again 2 years later (not becasue I moved here lol) and whilst I am around the corner from my Mum I barely see her due t work and family commitments on both oarts. My sister is always travelling and therefore never a big part of our lives. In the four years I have been home it is only the last 9 months that I feel I actually have made friends and feel settled. And this is becasue I have made a real effort to go and meet people, through websites and getting out and about. My husband has only had acquaintences really and still has no real friends down here. As a result we ahve decided that we have to give Oz at least 2 years before we make any decisions. Obviously this may be hard to stick to if we are miserable but we hope that we will be strong and ride with it. I have heard that the 6 month stage is hard as the initial buzz has worn off and reality sets in, and that must be made even harder as it approaches Christmas. I know I will find Christmas hard as I love a cold crisp winter Christmas and the idea of a warm Christmas does not appeal to me so I know I will be very homesick at this time of year. Personally I would say give it a bit longer. You do not have to burn any bridges with either country yet and its best to see how you really feel about it. For me, and every family is different, but as much as me and my family are close we don't have a lot of support and help from them, so we ae doing something for us as a family unit knowing we will miss the family and that will be sad but we can't pass the opportunity to give it a try. Good luck and I hope you feel happier soon x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sykestykes Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Hi Michelle I have been "people sick" really badly (physically at times) within those first six months and my heart goes out to you feeling like this. I was lucky enough to have super friends here (some whom we have known over 20 years) to help me through it. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Just chatting about it and getting those feelings off your chest can help, as can keeping busy getting out and about with the kids. Try to reconcile why you came to Australia - when you feel as you do it's easy to lose sight of the reasons why you left in the first place. But if none of the reasons why you came here seem to be valid as a few more months go by, and as Aldo says you would sell a body part to get back on that plane, then try to set an achieveable date for your return and be happy with the rest of your life having got that adventure to look back on and tell the grandkids about. Big hugs Sue x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Hi all, Been here 6months and am sooo homesick! Have decided that I want the family to be more apart of my kids life. Don't want to give up the family for abit of sun! But has anyone gone home and regreted it? Hi Michelle, Plenty go home and regret going back, just as plenty go home and know it was the right decision. This is a decision only you and your family can make, at the moment you sound as if you are not sure what to do. You do not say how the rest of the family feels, do they feel the same way. You say you want the family to be more part of the kids life. To be honest i wonder if you are using the kids as an excuse to go home! Only you and your family can make the decision and its not an easy decision to make. if you feel that you would be desperatly unhappy here, then go home and good luck to you. if you think the homesickness may pass, then stay and see how things go. Its a tough call and i wish you well :notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest coogee Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 i was a ten poundpom.i arrived in oz in 1966 and left in 1968 and even now over forty years later i miss oz.dont make the same mistake i made.stay where you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest funkymonkey Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Well put Aldo, I am at the stage where I would consider selling body parts to get home...You know for sure where you want to be , but then I knew from day 1... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KAS Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 :no:Me to, I hate my first Christmas here already, I want to go home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sarebear Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 and i feel exactly the same :cry: :no:Me to, I hate my first Christmas here already, I want to go home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30038 Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 and i feel exactly the same :cry: Hi chook, Andy&Yvonne are round at mine tomorrow evening, you're welcome to come round if you've nothing on. You can come if you're clothed too :biglaugh: The kids can fetch their togs if they fancy a dip. kev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sarebear Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Ah thanks Kev, but I'm going to stay home so that I can skype my Mum. Can't bl***y believe it....our first xmas ever away from uk & they've got a white xmas!!! I want to play in the snow!! Ta so much for the invite though, we'll pop round to see you soon x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sarebear Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 btw....love the new pic! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30038 Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 btw....love the new pic! x Josh's first attempt at chocky muffins :laugh: kev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joetrac Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Thought the need to post a reply beause I can remember that feeling and I feel so sorry for you.I lived in OZ for 2 years and have been back in bonny scotland for 12 months now.Without a doubt the worst day was my first christmas...we were only in the country for 6 weeks and had a 19 month little girl and I hated what she was missing out on.To be honest things never really got better ...sure life went on and I made the most of it...beaches parks you name it...made great friends (Who I miss) and didn't winge BUT is it a better life for your kids....nope ...just different...there is nothing I did in OZ that I cant do here at home.And I said this to some one last week...nothing in OZ can compare to the relationship my daughter (Now 4) has with her granparents...I believe I have given her a gift by bringing her back and letting them be part of her life ...If you ever seen her with them you would understand. Anyway for us as a family its been the best thing we ever did...sold our 4 bed house in Oz and bought a 4 bed house in UK(Little help from the credit crunch) ...got jobs in Finance and construction(Very luck)...nice car....family days out ...babysitters!!!!! but most important FAMILY ..have 12 over for dinner tomorrow a proper fairy tale white christmas day...thinking back to that first christmas I had I feel so awful for you. I know this isn't really advice I just wanted to let you know that of you do decide too come home at one point there can be life after OZ and for us its a bloody good one.(PS Icing on the cake number 2 due April 2010)xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sarebear Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Thanks for that, it made comforting reading. I feel the same about my girls missing out on having family around them, everything you say i agree with. I am definitely going to be in the uk next christmas, whether it's permanent (i hope!) or a holiday. So pleased you are now happy & settled back with your family & congratulations on your next bundle of joy :hug: Sarah x Thought the need to post a reply beause I can remember that feeling and I feel so sorry for you.I lived in OZ for 2 years and have been back in bonny scotland for 12 months now.Without a doubt the worst day was my first christmas...we were only in the country for 6 weeks and had a 19 month little girl and I hated what she was missing out on.To be honest things never really got better ...sure life went on and I made the most of it...beaches parks you name it...made great friends (Who I miss) and didn't winge BUT is it a better life for your kids....nope ...just different...there is nothing I did in OZ that I cant do here at home.And I said this to some one last week...nothing in OZ can compare to the relationship my daughter (Now 4) has with her granparents...I believe I have given her a gift by bringing her back and letting them be part of her life ...If you ever seen her with them you would understand. Anyway for us as a family its been the best thing we ever did...sold our 4 bed house in Oz and bought a 4 bed house in UK(Little help from the credit crunch) ...got jobs in Finance and construction(Very luck)...nice car....family days out ...babysitters!!!!! but most important FAMILY ..have 12 over for dinner tomorrow a proper fairy tale white christmas day...thinking back to that first christmas I had I feel so awful for you. I know this isn't really advice I just wanted to let you know that of you do decide too come home at one point there can be life after OZ and for us its a bloody good one.(PS Icing on the cake number 2 due April 2010)xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KAS Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 :no:Just watch clash of the santa's ( I watched it first time round i England this time last year) and there was a quote which made me feel sad ' why would I want to be so far away from home at Christmas' it brought a tear to my eye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest coogee Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 anybody out there arrive in oz in 1966 on the ship castel felice a sitmar line boat.my name is bill lewis and i am trying to get in contact with an old friend called taffy thomas whom i arrived with. it would be nice to hear from him after all these years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itskaren Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 I too hate Christmas here. We have decided to go back to the UK in 18 months time when the youngest starts secondary school. I am so pleased with this decision .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Frets Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 I don't hate it here, but we've just had our 3rd christmas here, Perth, and this one was the best! But I'm missing my family and friends alot! We arrived 3rd Dec 2007, that was a challenge in its self!! You all know what its like, christmas round the corner, trying to find a rental,get the kids enrolled in a good, waiting for the container, with your life in it, to arrive, but we survived!! As the new year got under way, bought our first aussie house, mistake, made friends, not good ones,mistake number 2,have made a few good ones too. Got tormented for half our first year by said "not good friends" long story!!! Really hated it here by this point, so thought we'd sell up and move to another suburb, as "not good friends" lived in same suburb as us, but we ended up staying and just bought another house, bigger and better and in a nice quiet cul-de-sac. Anyway cut a long and boring story short we love it in our new house, and slowly we're making new and nicer friends, and hopefully it will get better. I just think friendships happen when your not really expecting them, and their the best ones. Like all my friendships back in England. You'll never have what you had in England, I've actually come to realise that now, so I'm hoping I can move on, but I do miss all the friends that I spent a life time making. And my family of course, and each year that goes past it gets worse. Me and my hubby talked and said we would get all get our citizenship and then see how we feel then. It probably doesn't help anyone but it kind of helps me to write it down. I'm not as fed up as I was, and as I said we love the house and the neigbourhood, everyone has made an effort with us to introduce themselves to us, which is the first time it has happened since we moved here, so hopefully this is what we needed to do to make our situation get better. Anyway enough waffling on.......have the most amazing 2010, because I intend to..... Jane,Mark and our four amazing children. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinsmom65 Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 I too hate Christmas here. We have decided to go back to the UK in 18 months time when the youngest starts secondary school. I am so pleased with this decision .... Good luck on moving back Karen. So glad you have come to a decison. Must feel great. I just spent the better of 2 days bawling my eyes out here. This was our 2nd xmas and it was worse than last year. My twins who just turned 16 spent xmas day crying their eyes out saying they hate it here and want to go home. I thought I was doing fine here, but then xmas eve hit, and I heard no xmas music, and that sent me into a downward spiral. Xmas day was spent having egg and bacon for lunch and no xmas dinner. It was too hot in the house so we ended up having cold turkey sandwiches around 6pm. My girls have 2 more years of school here left, then after that I will make a decision whether we stay here in Australia or all move back to Canada. My husband loves it here and probably won't move back. So it may be a case of just me and the girls moving back and my husband staying here. I know that I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life. I haven't hated my time in Australia, it's just that I haven't found my niche yet. I am in a job, that I really don't like (btw it's my 4th in one year), we have no family around and really no friends. I have found myself to be very lonely here during the past 14 months. Australia has worked out for my husband, he has his dream job, he was golfing every week (he loves golf), he prefers the weather here better than Canada as he can golf almost all year round. Sorry for the ramblings folks.... just never been this down before in a long time. Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Frets Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 Hi Karen, It must be so hard for you, I feel for you. I hope you find peace and happiness with whatever you do in the future. I think if my kids hadn't settled as well as they have and made loads of friends through school and work, I think I 'd of been like you. If you ever want to just chat and moan I'm on msn, I'll message you my email and if you have it you add me and I'll be the shoulder for you to cry on. Take care Jane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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