Just don't know...but can't shake the feeling I want to go home!

[Guest nm123]

We've been in Sydney for 2.5 months and are really enjoying it so far, the plan is to be here for 2 years and then go back home (UK).

 

People at work have been joking about me staying forever and how Brits rarely go back once they've made the move.. But even though it's real early days for us, I can't help thinking, as someone else said, "it's not home and I'm not sure it ever will be". The Smug Brit at work who's moved over seems gobsmacked to think I might've had a nice life in the UK!

 

Emmylou's post said it all for me too. Thanks to Skype I don't think I've felt properly homesick yet, and I have spent time abroad a couple of times before so have had some practice.

 

I guess what I'm saying is, we came here for a change of scenery. We didn't move because our lives at home were awful and we wanted something "better". We came because we could both get work, we had spent time here before and loved it and because we wanted to spend a couple of years being selfish and doing exaclty what we wanted before kids and mortgages happen.

 

I'm always surprised at the number of people on this website who seem absolutely determined to move here permanently without ever having visited for this mystical better life. People at work (the Brits mostly) seem to go on and on about the lifestyle here, and whilst an outdoorsy lifestyle is very easily accessable here, I'm fairly sure I could carve out a similar life back home if I wanted to - only the weather wouldn've have been so good. I guess it comes down to perception, but if I lived in Birmingham and hated it, perhaps I'd consider a move to Cornwall if I wanted beaches and surfing. Perhaps people in the UK can get what they think they want in the UK if they look hard enough for it?

[Conniebygaslight]

Can someone please explain what 'lifstyle' means-surely it's about personal choice. My sister back in the Uk who has no children thinks my life was hell- (I had a beautiful house 3 gorgeous kids fantastic marriage and great friends -oh and I also worked for myself)she however works 9-5 gets drunk all weekend and cares only about designer shoes. It's all subjective.

 

The difference is us Brits that think we will not settle in Oz tend to respect the opinions and feelings off the Brits that want to stay but they seem to think we are mad and spend ages telling us so!

 

If you have no kids and want some time to experience new things then that is fantastic that you have the opportunity to do so and of course you should seize it with both hands. It seems that it is not enough for us to appreciate he difference of Australia but not want to live here -we have to think it is paradise and want to remain here forever because the sun shines (which means you can go outdoors all the time but the parks and beaches wear a bit thin over time)

 

Hey ho and on we go-good luck with your future whatever you decide it's up to you not them-tell them you're going to NZ and see them combust lol!:jiggy:

[fantasia]

I lived in Oz for 14 years and did not for one minute think I would miss it . I have walked for 10 kms a day and North Wales is beautiful - but not home and I really miss Oz - and I want to come home..!

[Guest Spindy]

Hi bryansc, we are also planning to move to Melbourne in 2011 hopefully the first half of the year. I will keep in touch with you if thats ok. Family of 4.

[bryansc]

Hi bryansc, we are also planning to move to Melbourne in 2011 hopefully the first half of the year. I will keep in touch with you if thats ok. Family of 4.

Hi there, it would be great if we could keep in touch (every little helps as they say!!). What ages are your children and what job do you hope to do when you get out there? We are going out in June for a few weeks (to validate - volcanic ash permitting) and really looking forward to it. Catherine

[fantasia]

And here's one... I am a POM with dual citizenship returned home 3 months ago and I never thought I would say this - but I want to go home - to Oz - nightmares - anxiety attacks,...help!!

[Quoll]

And here's one... I am a POM with dual citizenship returned home 3 months ago and I never thought I would say this - but I want to go home - to Oz - nightmares - anxiety attacks,...help!!

 

Oh dear, I guess the only thing to say is to remember why you left Australia, you really werent very happy from your posts - those reasons are still there. Have you thought about a move elsewhere in UK perhaps? What you are experiencing now is what many migrants to Aus experience and the advice is always "this is a tricky time, give it a bit longer".

 

:hug: the curse of the expat, destined to wander the world in search of the greenest grass is always a hard thing to deal with!

[fantasia]

Oh dear, I guess the only thing to say is to remember why you left Australia, you really werent very happy from your posts - those reasons are still there. Have you thought about a move elsewhere in UK perhaps? What you are experiencing now is what many migrants to Aus experience and the advice is always "this is a tricky time, give it a bit longer".

 

:hug: the curse of the expat, destined to wander the world in search of the greenest grass is always a hard thing to deal with!

Lost a stone in weight already - rented an old Victorian house - lovely walks for dogs - but people keep looking at me funny guess I've got a bit of an Aussie twang - but fab walks - lovely walks - it should feel like home - keep thinking in 'bucks' oh dear guess keep trying..

:arghh:

[mirz150]

that is such a lovely piece of writing that basically sums up how I feel living here.

I plan to go home in the next year, as I miss all my family and friends too much.

I've loved living in this beautiful country, and for some it would be a fantastic place to settle, but for me home is where the heart is!

 

 

Moving abroad is really hard without any of your family or friends, a loneliness that is sometimes so great that feels like its eating you. The worst part is all the things that you miss out on, like birthdays, Christmas and other family events, things which make life worth living. In the 2 years I've been gone I've missed out on lots of things, like Lisa’s 21st birthday, Sarah’s new baby and I’ve never met Will or Mi-Mi. Homesickness for me is a longing for the familiarity of home; going round moms for Sunday dinner, shopping in Birmingham with Lisa, Rachel doing my hair, dads nice cup’s of tea, Steves silly stories, fussing Jo-Jo, Shaun never getting what he orders in Weatherspoons, and basically an overwhelming longing to see the people that I love and think about every day. These are the people that make me what I am, that will be there for me no matter what I do and will always be on my side even when I’m wrong! People that often put me before themselves, bend over backwards to make me happy, are there in an emergency and ready to close ranks in a crisis. You are the people in my life who are irreplaceable, always ready to listen to me when I feel like I’m falling apart, and without you I don’t know who I’d be today.Running away from your life is not the answer, the reality is that I am still the same person with the same issues and problems, but now I’m just living in a foreign country without the support of family and friends. I have had a brilliant life experience and have also gained a much greater appreciation for family and friends. Oz has been fantastic; lovely weather and great beaches, but to me that’s just not worth the sacrifice of living without all of the people I love. So now, after two long years, I am ready to go home, because I miss them all so much.

[Conniebygaslight]

Lost a stone in weight already - rented an old Victorian house - lovely walks for dogs - but people keep looking at me funny guess I've got a bit of an Aussie twang - but fab walks - lovely walks - it should feel like home - keep thinking in 'bucks' oh dear guess keep trying..

:arghh:

 

Fantasia- is there any chance you can come back here? You've lived here a long time and it's obviously become your home without you realising it. My hubby feels the same about the UK he is an alien here in Oz.

[Guest lifeinmono]

:arghh: Just don't know. OH and I have been here 18 months and for the first year I really enjoyed being here, it was like a holiday, the reality didn't seem to sink in. We live on the Gold Coast and I work as a nurse. OH isn't working, since arriving here he has been diagnosed with a major back problem and has been advised not to work as a carpenter and joiner for the time being. He has been put on the waiting list to see a spinal orthopaedic surgeon (we don't have private cover) and it will take about a year for him to get seen (not good when he has a progressive condition and would be seen by the NHS within a month according to interent waiting list times I have looked at).

 

The way my husband has been treated by health professionals over here is nothing short of disgusting. I think this was the trigger for my homesickness. I started to look at all the negative sides of being in Australia. I began to miss my family and friends more. Quite frankily I am bored with the weather and the never changing blue skies of Queensland. Even the blueness of the sea is beginning to get irritating. I miss the changing weather and seasons, the long summer nights and the short-cosy winter days. The local pub and decent beer (not known as p***), shops and clothes of a decent quality that don't cost the earth. Supermarkets where you can get everything you are looking for at a reasonable price.

 

There are good things about Australia, the scenery is like nothing in Europe, the dry arrid landscape and the nothingness of the outback. The Golden Sandy beaches which go for miles. The friendliness of the shop assistants. Friends that I've made. Opportunities for work and promotions. Size of properties, that I can afford to buy.

 

But it's not home. Eventhough my husband loves it here and doesn't particularly want to go home (he does say that Liverpool will always be "home" though), I can't shake the feeling that Australia is not where I want to spend my life. I worry about my parents getting old and who will look after them. I wonder how I will feel when my sister and her husband start a family and I won't be part of that. It's only now this is starting to sink in, I'm not here on holiday.

 

We're going home for 5 weeks in April, so we'll see how I feel then. But the thought of coming back here after being at home makes me feel sick. I'm trying so hard to be positive and make ago of things, but I just don't know that I can. It all seemed like such a good idea at the time.

 

Oh well, yet another reason for the Aussies to call us wingeing poms!

 

I had the realisation that I wasn't here on holiday the day I landed!! I'd been over here on holiday the previous year and when I arrived to actually 'live' here it just didn't feel the same - I was quite horrified by the idea that I wasn't going 'home' again in 4 weeks time!

 

I've never really shaken that off - 5 years later! I need to keep reminding myself that leaving is possible and when I do I feel much better about being here. I just need to feel that returning to the UK is available to me. When I feel that I CAN go back the NEED to go back eases off a bit.

[Quoll]

I had the realisation that I wasn't here on holiday the day I landed!! I'd been over here on holiday the previous year and when I arrived to actually 'live' here it just didn't feel the same - I was quite horrified by the idea that I wasn't going 'home' again in 4 weeks time!

 

I've never really shaken that off - 5 years later! I need to keep reminding myself that leaving is possible and when I do I feel much better about being here. I just need to feel that returning to the UK is available to me. When I feel that I CAN go back the NEED to go back eases off a bit.

 

Yes as long as you think you CAN leave when you want to, it is perfectly liveable. Once you realize that you CANNOT leave then the iron bars come clanging down and it becomes definitely UNliveable! When you are trapped it becomes very hard to appreciate the good things and the niggly things assume gigantic proportions!

[Guest emmalouise29]

I know what you mean, at least your husband is English and not an aussie. My boyfriend is and doesnt understand when I get homesick, i actually left him last year as had enough of endless BBQS, aussie moaning about POMS?????? crap clothes and general attitude that Osz is best country on Earth. I dread Anzac day its annoys me all the flags on there face. Of course respecting soldiers from wars is right but it somehow here seems to be blamed on us. I found out I was preg and my boyfriend made me a load of promises and has stuck to none, i came back and had the baby and now i am stuck here.

 

I must admit hospital when i had bub very good but basic GP here appalling, ive had everything from them looking things up in ancient books to treating me funny coz i have a visitor medicare card and this is system we have to pay for, i have got conflicting advice as well.

 

Hindsight is a great thing but i wish i was in uk, I feel im robbed of Christmas here. Thankfully found Christmas In July in Blue mountains which looks like our Christmas.

 

I hope your not feeling homesick still and your husbands back is better.

[Quoll]

I know what you mean, at least your husband is English and not an aussie. My boyfriend is and doesnt understand when I get homesick, i actually left him last year as had enough of endless BBQS, aussie moaning about POMS?????? crap clothes and general attitude that Osz is best country on Earth. I dread Anzac day its annoys me all the flags on there face. Of course respecting soldiers from wars is right but it somehow here seems to be blamed on us. I found out I was preg and my boyfriend made me a load of promises and has stuck to none, i came back and had the baby and now i am stuck here.

 

I must admit hospital when i had bub very good but basic GP here appalling, ive had everything from them looking things up in ancient books to treating me funny coz i have a visitor medicare card and this is system we have to pay for, i have got conflicting advice as well.

 

Hindsight is a great thing but i wish i was in uk, I feel im robbed of Christmas here. Thankfully found Christmas In July in Blue mountains which looks like our Christmas.

 

I hope your not feeling homesick still and your husbands back is better.

 

Oh dear that really does suck! When your OH isnt really on your side either - and I am assuming wont let you leave with the baby either - that makes things even worse. At least I still love my Aussie DH and have had him for so long that he sort of understands but just refuses to do anything about it!!!!

 

I dont mind Anzac Day - it's my birthday and one of the reasons I married him:biglaugh: Always get a holiday on my birthday!!!!

 

Hope things look up for you!

[Guest JOHN ODonnell]

Maybe we should do a house swap for a year.......how do you fancy taking on my place in west yorkshire and get yourself listed at the chronic pain clinic in Halifax?