Guest the_zings Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 I'm not sure I can survive the next 17 months out here. I'm currently listening to Radio 2 online with tears streaming down my face. If it wqeren't for my kids I think I would through myself of the nearset bridge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stockies Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Hey hun talk to us , there might be one of us on here that can help.!!!!!!! Claire. XX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sam&Si Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Hi there - that doesn't sound good - Where are you i.e what part of Oz? Can we help? x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Angie*mark Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Oh bless hun, sorry you feeling like this. How long have u been over there for? Is there anyone u can ring and have chat too? Im really sorry i wish i could say somthing magical that takes all ur worries/upsets away but i can offer a very big virtual shoulder to cry on if u want to? Angie xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest julie2g1b Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 try and stay possitive have you met up with any other mum's yet or people off pio in your area sending you where abouts in oz are you? am sure someone will be along soon to help out, hope things get better soon for you take care julie xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest the_zings Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 To be honest I don't think anyone could say anything that would make me feel better. I want to go home so much it's killing me. I hate it here and miss home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Angie*mark Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Im with Julie on this one, u need someone to chat too, i know u might not think it will help at the moment but it's surprising how much better u will feel when you let it all come out, tears, screams, fears everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest julie2g1b Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 so sorry you feel that way take one day at a time dont think your stuck there for the next yr or so thing of it as a long holiday maybe get a part time job or help out at the school if your children are school age that may help just getting out and about...................sit down and tell your partner how you feel and say give it 6 months if still feel the same go back for a short break......... julie :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest the_zings Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 I'd love to think I could go back for a break but I know I wouldn't get back on the plane to come back out here. Husband knows exactly how I feel but can't do anything as we have to save to afford to get back and he has to doa 3yr return of service to his employer. So even when the kids and I go home he will be stuck out here for a further 18 months. I just wish we had the money to pay back his employer for the move out here and fund our journey home. I would go back in 7 months (we have to wait for dogs rabies vacc etc,) but think it would be selfish of me to seperate the kids and there father for such a long time. What's so depressing is there is no solution. I just have to grin and bare it for the 17 months. I've met a couple of other mums out here but to be honest the town we are in is full of people I don't really want my kids growing up with. Kids here are ferrel, smokers full of bad language. Every morning when I wake up I get this massive sinking feeling in my heart as I realise where we are all over again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest julie2g1b Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 is there any chance you could move area as to compramize (sorry cant spell lol) that might make a huge difference, i would feel the same if there were people like that........... i think this could be the only way you will start to feel a bit happier as the stress will make you ill and cause problems at home, you all have to be happy at the end of the day if you ever want to talk just pm me or email me on foxylady2g1b@hotmail.com can chat about anything even crap stuff may help you to write it all down, you will always have people on here for surport as like a 24 hr help line cause there is always someone one here........... julie :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest caza75 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 hi the zings, so sorry to hear things are not workin out for you .. i can only imagine what it must be like.. is there no chance that you can move to even another town an that your hubby can commute to work ? is there no chance any of your family or friends could come out for a vist to you as that would help? wish there was something else i could say but the only consolation is that you ARE goin home in the near future whereas there is some people that cant come back due to finances:sad: so chin up an start treating it like a holiday an it will maybe become more bearable ... am sending you a BIG HUG an hope all goes well for you. caza xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Have you thought of visiting your dr or looking through the paper for a councelling service. Talking to a professional may help you get through this. Clinical Depression is a risk and being able to talk through how you feel ... although it won't get you home any quicker, may help you make some decisions or simply make the best of the time you have there. Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Oh sweetie, have some (((hugs))) (we definitely need a hug icon - no I dont mean that bouncy around one - on PIO) Ali beat me to it - take yourself off to a doctor right now because you dont have to live like this. OK so being here sux and I dont know if it is the time of year or what but I am feeling very down at the moment too. You are going to get through this, this is just a blip in the course of a very long and happy life - you need to see the progress you are making (calendar and big red pen) and you need to take one day at a time towards your goal. A counsellor will help you work your way through this (you dont need meds if you dont want them) - they wont fix it because you wont be home but they can give you tips and tricks for making it bearable. If you dont want to do that, you do know that you can always talk to people on Lifeline 131114 - you dont have to be suicidal, you can talk to them about anything and they may help you work through what it is you need to do to keep yourself on top of things. I wish you were closer, I would happily shout you coffee! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Oh sweetie, have some (((hugs))) (we definitely need a hug icon - no I dont mean that bouncy around one - on PIO) Ali beat me to it - take yourself off to a doctor right now because you dont have to live like this. OK so being here sux and I dont know if it is the time of year or what but I am feeling very down at the moment too. You are going to get through this, this is just a blip in the course of a very long and happy life - you need to see the progress you are making (calendar and big red pen) and you need to take one day at a time towards your goal. A counsellor will help you work your way through this (you dont need meds if you dont want them) - they wont fix it because you wont be home but they can give you tips and tricks for making it bearable. If you dont want to do that, you do know that you can always talk to people on Lifeline 131114 - you dont have to be suicidal, you can talk to them about anything and they may help you work through what it is you need to do to keep yourself on top of things. I wish you were closer, I would happily shout you coffee! This is what makes PIO a great site ... genuine people offering good advice ... if I ever need a hug Quoll I'm on my way to Canberra lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 This is what makes PIO a great site ... genuine people offering good advice ... if I ever need a hug Quoll I'm on my way to Canberra lol No sweat - I know an excellent coffee shop too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest YellowGecko Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Where are you located Zings? I am certain poms off here would love to meet up with you for a natter. I have found homesickness quite hard to deal with as well but then I was kept really busy since arriving (engagement, marriage, making a DVD, now just had a baby) and it really has helped me loads not having much time on my hands to sit and dwell. I do feel for you, I know how tough it can be. I've been here 18 mths and it really hasn't gone that slowly.. I have just thought to myself to make the most of my time here because I don't know when I'll ever be coming back.. probably when bubs is older so we can show her where she was born. Chin up, chook. Hopefully you will discover some good aspects about this place, soon. Jo x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Richard and carole Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Sorry your not feeling great at the mo, but everyone has these up and down days and they are the worst lonely feeling you can imagine, although we try to hide behind coloured glasses and get on with it. The bigest thing you did was start with coming on here to let us know how your feeling so others can share some of the pain your going through. I know of someone who cried every day for the first year or so, now she had the chance to go back and she has had a turn around , moved into another area and loves it. The peole here are a lot differnt to the uk more outspoken and not so reserved especially round the children and it annoys the hell out of me too. But what i say to mine is although they use bad language, we don't. How old are your children and what area do you live in? There are lots of other people who feel like you but are not able to express so that's good you have got it out on a forum, lots of people will help you i am sure. I have some good idea's that have helped us through, Rescue Remedy from most chemists, Calm and clear from health shops, vit b for stress from Chemists, the strongest one is like a horse pill!! oh and it colours your urine! Oh and Lavender oil in ya bath and on ya pillows also in an oil burner. Also a good multi vitamin can help. Sorry if i have rambled on but i am just sharing my Remidies that have helped us through some really hard times. Thinking of you and keep in touch. Carole and co. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J&T Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Hi the_zings! I'm so sorry to hear that! I don't really know what to say at the moment, but please don't feel like you're alone. There's so many people on here that you can talk to and there may be someone on PIO that lives nearby that you could get together with. We all have this big dream of Oz but it's not for everyone, all we can do is make the most of what we have! Are there any groups out there that you could meet people at, clubs etc.,? Meeting more people might not solve the problem but may help you feel a little better!! Tracey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuju Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 I'm not sure I can survive the next 17 months out here. I'm currently listening to Radio 2 online with tears streaming down my face. If it wqeren't for my kids I think I would through myself of the nearset bridge! Hi Sorry to hear that you are still feeling down, ive been there & done that, not sure why but when we are feeling low for some strange reason we do these things and make ourselves feel worse. After being here for 2 years now & it really hasnt been an easy ride, i still fill up when i hear certain songs but i try & add a smile at the same time too, it really isnt worth punshing yourself anymore. Where abouts in oz are you ? have you made friends who you can fill some time with,try & keep yourself active & concentrate on poistive thoughts (i know easier said than done), please do contact me if you would like too & i am willing to help in anyway. I am the one who hated australia from the minute i stepped foot on oz land, i have been a devil woman to live with & my hubby has been the biggest supportive rock ever, if it wasnt for him i hate to think what i would have done. It's hard to put things all into this thread (i dont wanna scare peeps on their way to oz) but i really do understand 100% how you feel. Im here for you if you need a shoulder or a yell at. Take care ju x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meme Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 I know exactly how you feel. Iv been here nearly 6 months and i detest it, first 2 months i thought it was greatt, then the feelings of doubt started to set in,i realised that it actually wasn't a better life after all and i had quite a nice life back in the u.k. We spent a lot of money, so much stress and time getting a permenant visa, did a lot of research, also got family here in Melbourne who suported us before and when we got here. I can't bear this place, i am so so depressed with it all, my oh likes it here and is determined not to go back even though he know how miserable i am, kids are happy to back to u.k too, as my eldest has done all the work in school she's doing now 2 years ago, i have dragged it out this long to see if things would improve and it's just made me HATE it more, and made me even more depressed, now it looks like i've got to go to save my sanity, but it also means an end to my marriage as my oh has refused to come back, so i can honestly say australia did abolutely nothing for me, in fact made my life worse! We went to brisbane for two weeks not long ago to see what it was like there, but i didn't find that any better either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gilly88 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Where are you located you haven't said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest the_zings Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Singleton NSW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gilly88 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Hugs to those who are feeling unhappy but what is it that you are unhappy about is it just that you miss the familiarity of things like friends and your family and usual routine? Life here at the moment is not great for a lot of people those of us with businesses are all struggling I have lived in Lincolnshire for 8 years and still haven't made what I would call friends I know loads of people through business but not friends I don't particularly like it here but I wouldn't say I hated but I still hope to come to Oz and at leat try something different I am sure there are things which will drive me crazy work seems to be a problem in some areas for some and that will be hard for us even now I have days where it is quite in my business and I wander round the house thinking what can I do as I am not used to being at home but please think what it is you hate before making your decision sometimes things do get better sometimes they don't everyone on here is so helpful I am sure you will make a friend and then maybe in a couple of months time you may feel differently but only you and your family can decide what is right for you keep talking to us and hopefully you will make the right decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 I feel sad for you too and hope you can find a way of improving your mood. I agree with others who said to see the doc. I have suffered depression and did not even know I had it, not saying you have it but when we are unhappy and stressed its when it strikes. Usually after the event, mine came about because of my daughter's illness and my best friend's daughter's suicide. After things settled down and life was progressing more evenly it struck. I was fortunate to find two great psychologists and my doctors were great and now I am very very well again. At that time I did not want to do anything I just was like in limbo and nothing made me happy. My mum suffered terribly missing the UK when she migrated to Aus and she went back without me and my dad and stayed there for over a year and then returned as she was not happy there either and sometimes its other things that make us unhappy not where we are. Friendships pop along in the most unexpected places and I am sure they will for you. There must have been a reason for you to migrate and I guess those reasons are still over in the UK and we sometimes only remember the good things in fact we do and nothing adverse at all. Rose tinted glasses all round. Life is not like that we bad times and good times but at least we have life and if we have good health as well we are very lucky, learned that from my daughter and my friend through my daughter's illness and my friend and my suffering over her daughter who was only 25. Main thing in life is our immediate family and to try not to upset them too much with our own worries, seek help and try to be optimistic about things always negative is no good for anyone. We do not know what is around the corner so enjoy every minute of your life and try not to wish it away its gone soon enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gollywobbler Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Hi All May I make a suggestion? Would it help if the people in the East of Oz arranged to meet in Chat on here at, say, 11am on a Saturday or Sunday? Or maybe one evening (ie evening in the East of Oz?) I'm just thinking that in Chat you can have an immediate exchange of thoughts & ideas and it might help people to feel a bit less isolated than they do now? Just a thought. Best wishes Gill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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