Guest Aldo Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 I'm gonna be careful what is say now as i seem to have a knack of upsetting ppl (there's a whole forum about this) First i would say that there is not a contract on earth (your husbands) that can keep you somewhere that causes you this much anguish. I would suggest you start getting your dogs ready and do the calendar thing as Quol suggested. I find having a good ol' bitching session with other folk the "don't like Australia very much" (there are more of us than ppl think) helps. Go out and find somewhere to get a coffee where you can watch the locals walking by, this alwaysamuses me no end. I'm off out to get the kids hair cut later,i'll try to get some bogan pics on my phone and post them up here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodfan Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Hi ,the Zings and MeMe I also know how you are both feeling,quite a long story,so will just summarise.Been here 3 years now,very homesick after 6mths,had to stick it out as our son needed to finish school, so after 2.5 yrs...went back home in Dec. last year, to U.K.husband and son not happy to be back,just before we left i felt i was settling more in Aus....anyway agreed to come back and give Oz another try??? been back 5mths..feel same homesick feeling coming back! also live in Melbs..so if you fancy a coffee sometime... do you know if the girly meet up took place Pj arranged could not find any more info about it on the web site,would be up for the next one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest the_zings Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 First i would say that there is not a contract on earth (your husbands) that can keep you somewhere that causes you this much anguish. No, I know. They can't force us to stay but they can force us to pay back the money they spent on moving us out here. We don't have that sort of money and are saving hard now to get enough to get us back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gollywobbler Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Hello The Zings Is your hubby involved with mining at all? I ask because Comet 555, who posts on British Expats, is American or Canadian and she mentioned that she thought they would probably be heading for Singleton because her hubby is a mining engineer. I don't know where they ended up but if you search British Expats you might find that Haley (Comet 555) is not far from you and you could arrange to meet up? LOTS of people go to Oz, find that it is not for them and leave. A surprising number go back to Oz after a spell back in the UK. The second time, some of them settle because they are better prepared emotionally for what to expect. But for some people, including for my late cousin Bonnie, Oz never works out. I've never been to the Hunter Valley (apart from a day trip on a coach from Sydney) but I've seen towns in West Australia - where my sister lives - which are probably comparable. My sister's mother in law used to live in a place called Toojay or similar and frankly I couldn't understand what she was doing there when the rest of the family were in Perth. Apparently it was the wish of her ghastly second husband and when he did us all a favour by carking it, Mother in Law moved back to Perth. In one of your earlier theads you mentioned possibly mobng closer to the coast. Would that still be a viable idea? I think if you could live somewhere where you would feel less isolated it would help you to cope with Oz better? And please don't dismiss the Chat room on here because it can be more useful than you might think. Best wishes Gill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The willy s Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 oh huge hugs to u!! there must be some members from here that are near u? im sure a meet up of some sort could be arranged. i think the best thing for u is to meet up with some other like minded people and have a chat. just to offload. i can t possibly put myself in your position but i ve heard it takes a good two years to feel completly settled, a friend living on the sunny coast told me. her dh and kids loved it there, but she did nt, was homesick etc.......even a year into being there..........now two years on she loves it! i hope everything works out for u x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jewels1356 Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 could you oh get another sponcer to buy him out i dont were you are in ozz but cant you all move and he could comute i know you have probleuy thought about this but hey when i get out thier you and the kids can come have a holiday with me i have friends that have a lovely life out thier chin up hun thier is light at the tunnel if you ever need to talk pm me and ill give you my email addy sending you a big hug julie xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bolton2Brisbane Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Hi, I, more than most know exactly how you are feeling. We moved to Brisbane in April of this year and by June we were back on the plane to the UK. We wasted around $30k within this very short period of time, we have 3 cats that were only out for 4 weeks in Brisbane and they are now in Quarentine in the UK for 6 months as they didnt get done for rabies..... Nobody can understand what you are going through unless they themselves have experienced it. I used to wake up at 4 each morning having hot sweats, crying you name it i had it. People on here were great and offered words of comfort that did help, but it my mind i just wanted to be back in the UK. Needless to say that we are now living with my parents in my old room and are coming back to OZ in March next year, this time for good. Everything happens for a reason, if you are feeling/making yourself ill then you need to get this sorted, i cant offer any words of wisdom only to say that these thoughts are natural and will pass. Try to reflect on why you made the move over, and speak with the mums that you do know, it will help talking. Good luck with what ever you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Impatient Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Zings 3 year contract? ADF by any chance? If so, any chance of a move internally, try somewhere completely different? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SAINTHURLOCK Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 I'm not sure I can survive the next 17 months out here. I'm currently listening to Radio 2 online with tears streaming down my face. If it wqeren't for my kids I think I would through myself of the nearset bridge! Radio 2 will do that to you... crack open a stubbie,tune into triple J and rock out! much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Impatient Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 crack open a stubbie,tune into triple J and rock out! lol, works for me every time. Loud rock music and alcohol - the world seems somehow a better place to be half cut listening to Sweet Child o' Mine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest the_zings Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Zings 3 year contract? ADF by any chance? If so, any chance of a move internally, try somewhere completely different? Yes. No we can't move anywhere else. Does anyone know of anyone who has managed to get out of the 3yr return of service contract? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Impatient Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Can't say that it is likely - that relocation package is just too valuable. At the same time though, they hired you because you bring something to the party and would not want to let you go if they could do anything about it - have they flat said that they will not move you? Is that Army? PM if you prefer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gollywobbler Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Hello the Zings Since you are on line at the moment, I will go into the Chat Room. If Impatient would like to join us there, I think he may be useful since he obviously knows about the ADF and I don't. If you would care to join me, please just click on Chat in the red bar at the top of your screen. It seems to me that the ADF must have people whose job it is to provide pastoral care in a situation like yours? I am wondering whether there is any sort of get-out clause based on compassionate and compelling grounds when the recruit is a migrant? I don't know - I am simply wondering aloud. Even if that is not possible, they surely have some sort of medical help that could be provided to help you to get through this. Counselling or similar? Best wishes Gill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest the_zings Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Hello the Zings Since you are on line at the moment, I will go into the Chat Room. If Impatient would like to join us there, I think he may be useful since he obviously knows about the ADF and I don't. If you would care to join me, please just click on Chat in the red bar at the top of your screen. It seems to me that the ADF must have people whose job it is to provide pastoral care in a situation like yours? I am wondering whether there is any sort of get-out clause based on compassionate and compelling grounds when the recruit is a migrant? I don't know - I am simply wondering aloud. Even if that is not possible, they surely have some sort of medical help that could be provided to help you to get through this. Counselling or similar? Best wishes Gill Sorry, I wasn't online when you posted this. Sounds like a good idea. Can we arrange a time for later today?? Say 3pm ish.....? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wishful Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Hi there, Wow I know how you feel. I moved here 22 years ago brought by father who his my passport and now am divorced but with 2 auspom kids, I live in the beautiful blue mountains and so its not that I hate Australia I just dont want to be here. All I can say is try and treat the next 17 months as an adventure plan things you want to do make a list , try and make it like a holiday as you probably wont be coming back so see what Australia has to offer. If you ever come this way would love to show you around. I understand I truly do I call them my england attacks which happen more and more as christmas comes close or something happens at home that I want to be part of.......17 months might seem like a life time but its not at least you have an end date !! But it is awful feeling there is no denying that if you want to chat offline let me know happy to help, take care Love Julie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gollywobbler Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Sorry, I wasn't online when you posted this. Sounds like a good idea. Can we arrange a time for later today?? Say 3pm ish.....? Hi zing This sounds brighter! I'm in the UK. Almost midnight here. That should be about 3pm in Sydney? I'm just having a look round the forums but if I see you in Chat I will join you. Various others are there at the minute, so just go in and say Hi to them. Cheers Gill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cornishoz Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Sorry, I wasn't online when you posted this. Sounds like a good idea. Can we arrange a time for later today?? Say 3pm ish.....? i'm in the lounge if you want to chat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bod Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 I know how you feel and how hard it is. I have not regreted coming home for one minute, I think that is because we did not up and leave after the first upset. If we had left after a few months I felt I'd have regrets and end up pingpomming back to Aus. So we did a year and for me that was long enough, I really wanted to make it work, but to be happy is the most important thing in life, we were not happy. I think your very brave if it were me I'd tell them to stick their contract up their ars come home and pay back the dep't while I was getting back to living life. I know that is easy for me to say but life is to short to be unhappy. wishing you well John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jewels1356 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 how ar you today iam worried about you u can talk top me any time iam online ill even give you msn if you would like sending a big hug julie xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest arwen Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 No, I know. They can't force us to stay but they can force us to pay back the money they spent on moving us out here. We don't have that sort of money and are saving hard now to get enough to get us back. not if they think there may be a work claim against them!! If he sits down and tells them you are threatening to leave and its making him depressed they might realease him early Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wishful Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Totally agree with you John life is too short and if you need to rent for a while so what you still have your family and be where you want to be !!!! good luck x I know how you feel and how hard it is. I have not regreted coming home for one minute, I think that is because we did not up and leave after the first upset.If we had left after a few months I felt I'd have regrets and end up pingpomming back to Aus. So we did a year and for me that was long enough, I really wanted to make it work, but to be happy is the most important thing in life, we were not happy. I think your very brave if it were me I'd tell them to stick their contract up their ars come home and pay back the dep't while I was getting back to living life. I know that is easy for me to say but life is to short to be unhappy. wishing you well John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest the_zings Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 I think your very brave if it were me I'd tell them to stick their contract up their ars come home and pay back the dep't while I was getting back to living life. John I would too but husband is one for doing things by the book and won't go down this route. I'm try and just get on with it for the next 17 months then I'm out of here!! I go to bed really early every night as it makes time go quicker. I literally am counting the days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bod Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 I would too but husband is one for doing things by the book and won't go down this route. I'm try and just get on with it for the next 17 months then I'm out of here!!I go to bed really early every night as it makes time go quicker. I literally am counting the days. Try to enjoy Aus it's a massive experiance and it is a great country. Time will go alot quicker if you enjoying it. (easy to say I know) But like I said life is too short. Once we knew we were going home our frame of mind changed. The nagatives I saw seemed not so big or not there at all. John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest earlswood Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 I would too but husband is one for doing things by the book and won't go down this route. I'm try and just get on with it for the next 17 months then I'm out of here!!I go to bed really early every night as it makes time go quicker. I literally am counting the days. Keep listining to radio 2 and make a chart on the wall with all the months left.... cross off those little 17 buggers one at a time....it really helps and as you see them crossed off one by one your dream of home is getting closer and closer...:jiggy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kizznandy Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Hi there the zigs where are u ? Have u been out here long ?I live in qld, and have for eight yrs why are you so lonley ?Have a chat sometime.Do you use msn ? kizz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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