So depressed

[Guest cabbagesahoy!]

Hello zings -

 

My husband (from Sydney) just found out where you lived and went 'Bless her - people only live there for work - it's not the easiest'.

 

He suggests lots of trips to Sydney and even more to Newcastle. I know it's hard but why not try an explore - the wineries, the wildlife. Could you do a course locally? I know all this sounds like twee magazine problem page advice but it could help.

 

Probably best not to listen to radio 2 - Terry will still be here when you come home!

[Guest the_zings]

feeling a bit more up beat today as I have had a quote for $7600 to get our furniture home and they are prepared to hold that price til we move back in 16 months time!

 

Dogs going for their rabies vacc this week so it's all moving on.

 

I still wake up every morning and get that horrid sinking feeling as I realise all over again where we are. I still cry every day and I still count the days. Listening to Radio 2 makes me feel like I am still in touch with the UK.

 

I went to the gym last night and had my own music on when I was running - I fixed on a spot on the carpet and pretended I was running my usual route back home! Worked fine at the time but then I was in floods of tears in the car on the way back as it dawned on me how much longer I have to put up with this place!

[Wishful]

hI THERE,

 

I totally understand where your head is at and its awful !!!

My children are 11 and 9 so the earliest I can go back home to live is 6 years ( as there dad wont let me take them we are separated). I said before but I try to look at it as a holiday and keep myself fit and healthy so that I have a long life and as much time in the uk as possible. Please feel free to email me if you want to talk jandmgoldie@y7mail.com.

 

Take care

 

Wishful:arghh:

[Guest Bromwich Family]

Hi there,

I feel for you soooo much, we have been home now for 2 days and I can honestly say I am so relieved. I felt exactly like you and couldn't wait to get back to my family.

We only lasted 17 weeks in Melbourne. Some might say you didn't give it long enough, but all I can say is plenty for me thanks.

Marking off on a calendar gets you by day by day and write down all the things you want to see whilst you are in Oz and treat the free time as a holiday.

The weeks do drag but before you know it you will be on your way home. Lots of chocolate and beer helped us too!!!!

We have seen some lovely places in Melbourne, but for us it is only a holiday destination rather than a new home.

Keep posting and you will be supported on here.

Lol

[joetrac]

Hello to the Zings.

 

First of all I want to say I soooo empathise with you...from the first day I never felt I belonged here...I never told people that because I so wanted to make this work and kept telling mysel it will get better ...for me it never did.

 

HOWEVER reading your posts I see you are here till 2010 is that right? If so I think you shouldn't worry about shipping cost ect...it will be different when you try to go home anyway...try to embrace your life here ... keep busy and get involed in playgroups,gyms,sports teams...whatever it takes to make time go faster.

 

If you keep thinking of home time will drag and 18 months will feel like life. Im not saying you will like it here but you may suprise youself.

 

I hope I haven't spoken out of turn.

Tracy x

[Guest earlswood]

Hi there,

I feel for you soooo much, we have been home now for 2 days and I can honestly say I am so relieved. I felt exactly like you and couldn't wait to get back to my family.

We only lasted 17 weeks in Melbourne. Some might say you didn't give it long enough, but all I can say is plenty for me thanks.

Marking off on a calendar gets you by day by day and write down all the things you want to see whilst you are in Oz and treat the free time as a holiday.

The weeks do drag but before you know it you will be on your way home. Lots of chocolate and beer helped us too!!!!

We have seen some lovely places in Melbourne, but for us it is only a holiday destination rather than a new home.

Keep posting and you will be supported on here.

Lol

 

 

Whats it like having a decent pint of bitter and real curry?:jiggy:

[Guest jewels1356]

still thinking about you come on you lot out thier can we start a thread about were we live tso others in need know thier is quick support

julie

xxx

[Guest herts1]

I speak to folks in uk most days for my work only been here 12 weeks, things are getting worse there financially and if you are on a base life there will be different to outside same as in the uk.

While you are here try and meet up with some poms outside i have and it may make it easier. I am a bit of a way from you in northern suburbs of sydney but if you want to chat or can get about - i am not sure of the distance i would be happy to meet up at a weekend. My kids are in the uk so at a bit of a loose end when not at work. if you want send me a message and i'll give you my msn address.

[Guest Bromwich Family]

Whats it like having a decent pint of bitter and real curry?:jiggy:

Will let you know after tomorrow night, can't wait for my tikka masala, pilau rice, peshwari naan and oh some onion bhajis!!!! Not forgetting the pint!!!

[Guest cornishoz]

reading through your other posts i noticed you have a 9month old and a 3 yr old. have you seen your GP about how low you're feeling. i had post natal depression that didn't kick in until after i had my second boy. it too was aggravated by being where i didnt want to be or rather my oh was drafted away from our home on a RN course for a year which left me with a hyperactive 3 yr old, a 7month old and a loopy labrador. anything set me off crying and i had no energy to do things with the boys. pnd doesn't just happen in the early weeks, it can hit later especially if you're under a lot of stress which youv'e bound to have been having to pack up your uk lives at the same time a having a baby. have you always lived close by to your families? its so hard being apart from parents and close friends etc who will unconditionally drop everything to look after us. i know its hard but please think about talking how your feeling with your dr and maybe consider some anti depressants- i fought against it for ages but got some relief when i finally did take them. also maybe you could talk to the DCO social workers at singleton. the ones here in nowra are so approachable and have recently helped us through a bad patch with our eldest sons illness. I also linked into an phone support forum for pnd and found someone who lived nearby-we're still friends 10 years on. there's also a online forum called Bub Hub Pregnancy & Parenting Forum - Powered by vBulletin who have locality chat forums- there's probably one for the HUNTER area. i know you're making plans to go home as soon as possible and focussing on that will help you through to a degree but in the meantime maybe think of your time here as an overseas posting and get to see as much of OZ as you can so you can take away some happy memories of the places youv'e been to as a family- maybe taronga zoo, aussie reptile park for the boys. there are loads of defence discounts to major tourist attraction and adf also has its own holiday centres up and down the coast at discounted rates. again ask at the dco's office or check out online. take care of yourselves. pm me back if you want to chat more- maybe on MSN too.

[Guest IrishPost]

feeling a bit more up beat today as I have had a quote for $7600 to get our furniture home and they are prepared to hold that price til we move back in 16 months time!

 

Dogs going for their rabies vacc this week so it's all moving on.

 

I still wake up every morning and get that horrid sinking feeling as I realise all over again where we are. I still cry every day and I still count the days. Listening to Radio 2 makes me feel like I am still in touch with the UK.

 

I went to the gym last night and had my own music on when I was running - I fixed on a spot on the carpet and pretended I was running my usual route back home! Worked fine at the time but then I was in floods of tears in the car on the way back as it dawned on me how much longer I have to put up with this place!

 

Sounds to me like you have lost the plot - how's your poor husband coping?

 

From reading your posts I have gathered that you are Army and would have had everything taken care of in terms of your move to Australia, including the allocation of a nice married quarter on your arrival. I know for a fact that there are other Brits at Singleton as there are throughout the Australian Defence Force. Why don't make contact with some of the other wives and make a go of it. I am retired military and I am aware of the family support facilities within the military environment.

 

You are a lot better of than the wife of some civvy Brit tradesman who has landed in the middle of a strange Australian town and has to find a roof to put over their head, a job and sort out a school for the children.

 

What on earth did you expect in Australia, as an army wife you must have some experience of overseas service. Thousands upon thousands of Brits have came to Australia and have made a go of it - why can't you?

 

BTW - I have been in Australia for nearly 50 years after having migrated under the assisted passage scheme - Australia is my home and whilst I am proud of my Irish heritage my total loyality is to Australia.

 

I do not wish to appear as being harsh and judgmental and I understand that not everyone has the same resilience or pioneering spirit and it is not my intention to be hurtful or spiteful but for the sake of your family you need to get your act together - your husband is serving in the defence of this great nation and in the current operational circumstances would have enough to contend with.

 

I wish you and you family the very best and please remember it's not Australia's fault that you find difficulty in coping.

[Guest cabbagesahoy!]

Sounds to me like you have lost the plot - how's your poor husband coping?

 

 

What on earth did you expect in Australia, as an army wife you must have some experience of overseas service. Thousands upon thousands of Brits have came to Australia and have made a go of it - why can't you?

 

BTW - I have been in Australia for nearly 50 years after having migrated under the assisted passage scheme - Australia is my home and whilst I am proud of my Irish heritage my total loyality is to Australia.

 

I do not wish to appear as being harsh and judgmental and I understand that not everyone has the same resilience or pioneering spirit and it is not my intention to be hurtful or spiteful but for the sake of your family you need to get your act together - your husband is serving in the defence of this great nation and in the current operational circumstances would have enough to contend with.

 

I wish you and you family the very best and please remember it's not Australia's fault that you find difficulty in coping.

 

 

With respect, and it is with utter respect, I would suggest that a 'pull yourself together' tirade is somewhat inappropriate for someone who is clearly now suffering from some kind of depression.

 

I do understand your attitude. You arrived in Australia when the world was very different and clearly you are proud of your adopted nation. However even my husband (Australian born and bred and frothing at the mouth patriotic) thought that where zings was would be hard to live in.

 

Again I reiterate I have respect for what you did but saying 'get yourself together' to zings is like suggesting one applies a band-aid to an arterial wound.

[Wishful]

Sounds to me like you have lost the plot - how's your poor husband coping?

 

From reading your posts I have gathered that you are Army and would have had everything taken care of in terms of your move to Australia, including the allocation of a nice married quarter on your arrival. I know for a fact that there are other Brits at Singleton as there are throughout the Australian Defence Force. Why don't make contact with some of the other wives and make a go of it. I am retired military and I am aware of the family support facilities within the military environment.

 

You are a lot better of than the wife of some civvy Brit tradesman who has landed in the middle of a strange Australian town and has to find a roof to put over their head, a job and sort out a school for the children.

 

What on earth did you expect in Australia, as an army wife you must have some experience of overseas service. Thousands upon thousands of Brits have came to Australia and have made a go of it - why can't you?

 

BTW - I have been in Australia for nearly 50 years after having migrated under the assisted passage scheme - Australia is my home and whilst I am proud of my Irish heritage my total loyality is to Australia.

 

I do not wish to appear as being harsh and judgmental and I understand that not everyone has the same resilience or pioneering spirit and it is not my intention to be hurtful or spiteful but for the sake of your family you need to get your act together - your husband is serving in the defence of this great nation and in the current operational circumstances would have enough to contend with.

 

I wish you and you family the very best and please remember it's not Australia's fault that you find difficulty in coping.

 

Everyone is different and I think to base other peoples experiences and dreans on your own and by so judgementAL does not help the situation....Think Im gonna get two signs for the back of my car one...the usual aussie sign that says if you dont like it go home...then my own underneath it....if I would I could....:arghh:

[Guest byo]

Firsly in reply to IrishPost post. There is nothing wrong with you, moving to another country is not for everyone, and as a Mother its even harder as we put so much pressure on ourselves.

 

You won't think this at the moment, but you are very lucky that you can return home oneday. I'm Zimbabwean and have been living away from home nearly ten years. I have cried the entire time, I cannot return home ever thanks to our lovely Government. I'm having counseling and although it helps it will never change my situation. You should contact your Childhood Centre and ask for some help, its all free and they will give you some methods to get yourself threw it.

[Guest earlswood]

Sounds to me like you have lost the plot - how's your poor husband coping?

 

From reading your posts I have gathered that you are Army and would have had everything taken care of in terms of your move to Australia, including the allocation of a nice married quarter on your arrival. I know for a fact that there are other Brits at Singleton as there are throughout the Australian Defence Force. Why don't make contact with some of the other wives and make a go of it. I am retired military and I am aware of the family support facilities within the military environment.

 

You are a lot better of than the wife of some civvy Brit tradesman who has landed in the middle of a strange Australian town and has to find a roof to put over their head, a job and sort out a school for the children.

 

What on earth did you expect in Australia, as an army wife you must have some experience of overseas service. Thousands upon thousands of Brits have came to Australia and have made a go of it - why can't you?

 

BTW - I have been in Australia for nearly 50 years after having migrated under the assisted passage scheme - Australia is my home and whilst I am proud of my Irish heritage my total loyality is to Australia.

 

I do not wish to appear as being harsh and judgmental and I understand that not everyone has the same resilience or pioneering spirit and it is not my intention to be hurtful or spiteful but for the sake of your family you need to get your act together - your husband is serving in the defence of this great nation and in the current operational circumstances would have enough to contend with.

 

I wish you and you family the very best and please remember it's not Australia's fault that you find difficulty in coping.

What a load of tosh, some people hate Oz the moment they step of the plane....you love it I think it is the pits....have a bit of empathy mate.

[Guest Hudstar]

I had a two year working visa for the UK. I was overcome by a feeling of sadness the first few months of arriving - this was due to the freezing long winters, lack of daylight and very different eating habits. I did not know my body was going through physical withdrawals but I felt it my duty to see my visa out. I stuck it out until summer then one night I woke up and decided it did not suit me living in the UK and I was on my way home two days later. I think this poor women may be suffering the same. I guess as an army wife, she may be stationed in some forsaken place that even an aussie would cringe at the thought of living there. Maybe she is up near Townsville where the air is thick with heat, dust and humidity. Pioneering spirit is fine but hell, you gotta draw the line somewhere! I drew my line with that meat pie thing sinking in mashed pea goo and a serious chill to my kidneys . Either way being homesick is horrible for anyone.

[Guest Mummy3]

To be honest I don't think anyone could say anything that would make me feel better. I want to go home so much it's killing me. I hate it here and miss home.

 

Sorry if I missed it, how long have you been over there? I know exactly how you're feeling. I really do. I left South Africa to travel abroad (been to Holland and UK, settled second visit to UK). God, the homesickness is bloody awful. And when you're alone, with no regular friends and no family, it's even worse. You miss hearing your countrys accents, you miss the food you're used to, you miss seeing and hearing from your family. You miss the routine of your 'old' life. I went through this when I worked in Holland (first time abroad) and I went through this on both visits to the UK (work again). I started listening to my fave radio channel online too and it made me feel even worse. But the advice that I took to heart was from my dad. I'd just arrived in Holland and I was crying my eyes out, the homesickness had hit hard and fast. He told me that I should give it a chance and that there are people out there who would give their eye teeth to be in the position I'm in. For some reason, I thought I would give it a go.

 

I've been there and come out the other side. When we do move to Oz, I don't doubt that I'll be homesick for the UK as I've been here so long and family have moved there over the years. But I know from experience, that no matter how long it takes, I'll come through it again.

 

You need to push yourself to get out of the house. Even if it's just a walk, going to the shops, or meeting up with somebody. Look out for Expat meetings too.

 

If you want to chat, feel free to message me.

 

Take care xx

[Guest the_zings]

Sounds to me like you have lost the plot - how's your poor husband coping?

 

From reading your posts I have gathered that you are Army and would have had everything taken care of in terms of your move to Australia, including the allocation of a nice married quarter on your arrival. I know for a fact that there are other Brits at Singleton as there are throughout the Australian Defence Force. Why don't make contact with some of the other wives and make a go of it. I am retired military and I am aware of the family support facilities within the military environment.

 

You are a lot better of than the wife of some civvy Brit tradesman who has landed in the middle of a strange Australian town and has to find a roof to put over their head, a job and sort out a school for the children.

 

What on earth did you expect in Australia, as an army wife you must have some experience of overseas service. Thousands upon thousands of Brits have came to Australia and have made a go of it - why can't you?

 

BTW - I have been in Australia for nearly 50 years after having migrated under the assisted passage scheme - Australia is my home and whilst I am proud of my Irish heritage my total loyality is to Australia.

 

I do not wish to appear as being harsh and judgmental and I understand that not everyone has the same resilience or pioneering spirit and it is not my intention to be hurtful or spiteful but for the sake of your family you need to get your act together - your husband is serving in the defence of this great nation and in the current operational circumstances would have enough to contend with.

 

I wish you and you family the very best and please remember it's not Australia's fault that you find difficulty in coping.

 

Why am I not surprised that you are ex military!!!!!!!! Thanks for taking the time to read my post but you can take your "stiff upper lip" crap and stick it! I have never once "blamed" Australia or Australians for the way I feel. I have also said that is does suit others but NOT me! Thank god that when I do get back to the UK I will never have the misfortune of bumping into you as you will still be kidding yourself over here!!!!

 

Thanks to everyone who has given me support on here. I'm still finding it really tough and I WILL be going home with the children in time for next Christmas. Saly hubby will need to stay here til 2011 but as he is enjoying the job I don't feel too guilty. ALthough it will be tough on him not seeing much of the kids.

[Stuju]

Why am I not surprised that you are ex military!!!!!!!! Thanks for taking the time to read my post but you can take your "stiff upper lip" crap and stick it! I have never once "blamed" Australia or Australians for the way I feel. I have also said that is does suit others but NOT me! Thank god that when I do get back to the UK I will never have the misfortune of bumping into you as you will still be kidding yourself over here!!!!

 

Thanks to everyone who has given me support on here. I'm still finding it really tough and I WILL be going home with the children in time for next Christmas. Saly hubby will need to stay here til 2011 but as he is enjoying the job I don't feel too guilty. ALthough it will be tough on him not seeing much of the kids.

Well said you, shame really that peeps cant just except it that you arent happy here & wish to return to the uk & that some have to be judemental etc in their replies,

Keep ya chin up, theres plenty of us on here with alot of moral support for you :yes:

stuju

[Guest Verina An Dave]

Why am I not surprised that you are ex military!!!!!!!! Thanks for taking the time to read my post but you can take your "stiff upper lip" crap and stick it! I have never once "blamed" Australia or Australians for the way I feel. I have also said that is does suit others but NOT me! Thank god that when I do get back to the UK I will never have the misfortune of bumping into you as you will still be kidding yourself over here!!!!

 

Thanks to everyone who has given me support on here. I'm still finding it really tough and I WILL be going home with the children in time for next Christmas. Saly hubby will need to stay here til 2011 but as he is enjoying the job I don't feel too guilty. ALthough it will be tough on him not seeing much of the kids.

 

Hi Hun, loved your reply to that guy! You will make it home you seem very strong, even if you dont feel that you are. Good luck to you and your family x

[Guest IrishPost]

.......some people hate Oz the moment they step of the plane....I think it is the pits....

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you keep saying; have you been to many Aussie BBQ's - I'll bet you're the life of the party. Why don't you ask them to organise a whip-a-round, maybe get enough $ to send you back.

[Guest lee winspear]

I'm not sure I can survive the next 17 months out here. I'm currently listening to Radio 2 online with tears streaming down my face. If it wqeren't for my kids I think I would through myself of the nearset bridge!

Hiya, i know EXACTLEY how you feel, my oh loves it and wouldnt go back, the kids arnt bothered either way, i love the country and people but just cant settle, only been here 8 weeks and all people say is get a job or you havnt given it time, when you do feel like we do thats not an issue, some days i cant even bring myself to go out of the house.:unsure:

[Guest lee winspear]

I know exactly how you feel. Iv been here nearly 6 months and i detest it, first 2 months i thought it was greatt, then the feelings of doubt started to set in,i realised that it actually wasn't a better life after all and i had quite a nice life back in the u.k. We spent a lot of money, so much stress and time getting a permenant visa, did a lot of research, also got family here in Melbourne who suported us before and when we got here. I can't bear this place, i am so so depressed with it all, my oh likes it here and is determined not to go back even though he know how miserable i am, kids are happy to back to u.k too, as my eldest has done all the work in school she's doing now 2 years ago, i have dragged it out this long to see if things would improve and it's just made me HATE it more, and made me even more depressed, now it looks like i've got to go to save my sanity, but it also means an end to my marriage as my oh has refused to come back, so i can honestly say australia did abolutely nothing for me, in fact made my life worse!

We went to brisbane for two weeks not long ago to see what it was like there, but i didn't find that any better either.

DITTO, on the other hand my husband would come back with us all, but i dont want to get back to england and be blamed for him bieng miserable and not getting a job. But then again we followed his dream to come here!!!!:arghh:

[Guest earlswood]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you keep saying; have you been to many Aussie BBQ's - I'll bet you're the life of the party. Why don't you ask them to organise a whip-a-round, maybe get enough $ to send you back.

 

 

Loads of aussie barbies and boy do they eat some crappy food over here (all sausages and burgers)

Some hate the UK and say it I think Oz is vastly overated and say it......

Live with it Irish.

[Guest cabbagesahoy!]

DITTO, on the other hand my husband would come back with us all, but i dont want to get back to england and be blamed for him bieng miserable and not getting a job. But then again we followed his dream to come here!!!!:arghh:

 

 

Ahhh.......Sorry to hear that Lee. I know what the problem partly is though - The part of the world that you are originally from is lovely. Pocklington is a great part of England - it must be tough to leave. Years ago I used to write the radio ads for Pocklington carpets! :spinny:

 

It's easier to leave .......Leicester!