To move back to UK or not

[Franklin05]

We've been in Australia for 7 years now. It's not been an easy ride, both my husband and I have found it hard to find work. I've only very had temp work, my husband has only every had contract roles, jobs that last for 1 or 2 years and each new contract has been in a new state. We've moved interstate 4 times in those 7 years. I've only been able to go back to the UK to visit family once, only had them out once as money is tight for them and us and I cannot afford to visit anytime soon. We have just moved for the 4th time in the last month to yet another new state.

 

I am home sick, miss my family especially now we have our daughter and that my mother is getting old and while she is healthy enough, she is in remission for cancer. I miss history, varied culture, green fields, old buildings, proper pubs, Christmas lights in the cold and dark. I am fed up with moving, with having to start over and make new friends yet again. It's hard with a child, especially since I am at home with her alone. I am doing what I can to make friends, but it takes time and I am incredibly lonely. I really want to move back to the UK, I'd go tomorrow if I could, but finances don't permit that, also my husband wants to wait a few more years, though he has said we won't be moving around again, if he cannot secure further work here we leave and there is no way I could cope with moving and starting over somewhere new again. I know we will go back sooner or later, I guess it depends on how we settle here and if further work comes up.

 

I want to know what had been the deciding factors for other people in moving back home. What made you decided to go/want to go back to the UK? Was the move the best decision for you? How did you know the timing was right?

[JockinTas]

We've been in Australia for 7 years now. It's not been an easy ride, both my husband and I have found it hard to find work. I've only very had temp work, my husband has only every had contract roles, jobs that last for 1 or 2 years and each new contract has been in a new state. We've moved interstate 4 times in those 7 years. I've only been able to go back to the UK to visit family once, only had them out once as money is tight for them and us and I cannot afford to visit anytime soon. We have just moved for the 4th time in the last month to yet another new state.

 

I am home sick, miss my family especially now we have our daughter and that my mother is getting old and while she is healthy enough, she is in remission for cancer. I miss history, varied culture, green fields, old buildings, proper pubs, Christmas lights in the cold and dark. I am fed up with moving, with having to start over and make new friends yet again. It's hard with a child, especially since I am at home with her alone. I am doing what I can to make friends, but it takes time and I am incredibly lonely. I really want to move back to the UK, I'd go tomorrow if I could, but finances don't permit that, also my husband wants to wait a few more years, though he has said we won't be moving around again, if he cannot secure further work here we leave and there is no way I could cope with moving and starting over somewhere new again. I know we will go back sooner or later, I guess it depends on how we settle here and if further work comes up.

 

I want to know what had been the deciding factors for other people in moving back home. What made you decided to go/want to go back to the UK? Was the move the best decision for you? How did you know the timing was right?

 

A few members on this forum have moved back to the UK and are enjoying life and I personally know people who moved back as they missed their families so much. They have settled back there no bother at all and are very happy.

[Franklin05]

Yeah, I have just been digger deeper in the forum and finding that a lot of people are happy to be around family, especially those with kids. It's a blooming massive (and expensive) decision though and I'd hate to regret it. It occurs to me that you sort of end up straddling two countries (so to speak), nothing is going to be perfect in either one and you'll miss and dislike things about each one.

[MelbourneTractor]

My main reason for wanting to head home is boredom, there are only so many times I can go to the beach etc...

 

Australia is great but I miss the little things like visiting family at the weekends, socialising with friends who we've known for years and talking soccer at work (I've tried my hardest but AFL just doesn't do it for me).

[suesmalls]

Just reading your post, I'm born in Australia and husband born in England but spent his adult life in Australia and maybe more years in Australia. We are moving to UK next year to be closer to his family. I have good job here (only just though as I work in Oil and Gas) and he has fairly average low paid job. The move is about family, we are going to lose significant money and have no jobs to go to and nothing concrete in general really, but his need to be with his family and being open to a change has made us want to go ahead.

 

Everyone moves for different reasons, I know I will miss so much about Australia and sometimes it hits me what I'm planning on doing, but the plus side is the adventure and prospects ahead. Hopefully we can get good jobs and be able to afford to see Europe and not end up squabbling because we're broke. Got to remain focused and look forward, we're going to give it our best go.

 

I hope it works out for you too and best wishes.

[Franklin05]

My main reason for wanting to head home is boredom, there are only so many times I can go to the beach etc...

 

Australia is great but I miss the little things like visiting family at the weekends, socialising with friends who we've known for years and talking soccer at work (I've tried my hardest but AFL just doesn't do it for me).

 

Think I can agree that all the reasons I want to go are those, soccer aside that is I've never been in it.

[MelbourneTractor]

Think I can agree that all the reasons I want to go are those, soccer aside that is I've never been in it.

 

I often wonder if these reasons are a bit weak and I'm terrified of moving back and regretting it.

 

That said, I spent Sunday afternoon cooking a roast and, as nice as it was , I would have enjoyed it more if I'd been cooking for my family.

[Franklin05]

I often wonder if these reasons are a bit weak and I'm terrified of moving back and regretting it.

 

That said, I spent Sunday afternoon cooking a roast and, as nice as it was , I would have enjoyed it more if I'd been cooking for my family.

 

I am not so sure that they are, looking at others thread it seems that a lot of people miss the smaller things too, if it was just one or two small things it would be different, but it's the whole combination of them that make up the foundations of your lifestyle I guess. All those small things, plus family and friends who you've known for years and years. Sunday lunch with family is a real killer for me too, they were a corner stone of my childhood and I miss that family time.

[Quoll]

If you're struggling to get ongoing work then it would make sense to start applying for jobs in UK so you actually have something on the table to compare options. Get your citizenship if you haven't already done so and you've lost little except money by giving it a go. I'm wondering from your comments, though, whether your DH is really prepared to give it up and whether there will never be a "right" time for him.

 

We came on holiday just over 5 years ago and haven't returned - I had grown to loathe Australia (booooooored!) after 32 years and so when the wheels fell off the parental wagon and they needed support it was a Godsend. So, in essence we did move for family but not because I missed them per se but because they needed help. I had a few old friends scattered over UK and I catch up with them from time to time but have been fortunate to make more.

 

There is just so much to do - I'm going to see Kenneth Branagh on stage in London today, go on a tour of yarn shops with a group on Saturday, go to a garden party at a neighbours on Sunday, visit Buckingham Palace on Tuesday and catch up with my son and grandson (who will be back from a holiday in Greece before he pops over to Barcelona for a stag do) - my life is so full and there is just so much to do. I still fit in all the appointments for 4 octo/nonagenarians so this week has two doctors and one nurse appointments and I go to the gym and I get out and walk (got to do my 15000 steps a day) - I love history and we have made it a mission to visit as many Cathedrals as we can (even the DH who would never have bothered to visit a cathedral in the past is actively enthusiastic since he read Pillars of the Earth).

 

I'd say do it! Just bite the bullet and get on with it - start applying for the job of your dreams and jump in! You don't even need to head for the place you left - try somewhere new because, after Australia, nowhere in UK is far from anywhere else really (Cambridge to Manchester for afternoon tea? Sure!). Don't expect all the friends you had to flock back to you - you might be lucky or you might have to start over but, personally, I have found it much easier to make "good" friends here - the kind you can call at 3am if the brown stuff hits the whirly thing - and I am in awe of the friends that have stuck by my parents over the years although the group is dwindling as they pop their clogs one by one.

 

Good luck, I hope you can get your life back!

[Thom]

I want to go home as my soul settled in Cornwall.

[Franklin05]

If you're struggling to get ongoing work then it would make sense to start applying for jobs in UK so you actually have something on the table to compare options. Get your citizenship if you haven't already done so and you've lost little except money by giving it a go. I'm wondering from your comments, though, whether your DH is really prepared to give it up and whether there will never be a "right" time for him.!

 

He does want to return, he just wants to wait a while longer until get can save up more money, while we are now citizen and got newstart benefits when he was out of work, it never covered the cost of rent and bills, or the cost moving to where the new job is. We currently don't even have enough money to return, we always promised ourselves that our savings would never get that low, but we paid out to keep a roof over our heads in the hope that Australia would work out for us, looking back I think we should have made the move then rather than struggling on.

[Marisawright]

I suspect it's the constant moving that is making you miss the UK so much. If you don't have your own home set up, you're bound to feel unsettled.

 

However, I think there's a pretty easy question to ask yourself, to decide whether you should stay:

 

Do you want to grow old and die in Australia?

 

If the answer is "no", then there's no point in putting off the move, because it's only going to get harder to move the older you get. If you leave it too long, you'll find yourself stuck because you've left it too late to build up your entitlements to a British pension etc. The idea of spending your working life in Australia then going home to retire won't work, unless you know you'll be very comfortably off with a fat superannuation balance. So, if the idea of spending your twilight years in Australia fills you with dread, go now!

 

When I was in the UK last year, I was surprised how buoyant the job market seemed to be in comparison to Sydney, but it will depend where you go and what you do for a living. Unemployment is slightly higher in Australia than in the UK.

[Franklin05]

I want to go home as my soul settled in Cornwall.

 

Cornwall is so beautiful.

[Bungo]

We moved back 18 months ago. For us it was quite an objective / rational choice. We didn't miss anything in the UK and were perfectly happy in Australia. We knew we would be perfectly happy in the UK too.

 

I won't say any more about my reasons for moving back, because I don't think they are relevant to you, what is relevant is your situation. To me it looks like it is time to accept that this has just not worked out for you. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Nobody can say you haven't given it a fair crack of the whip after seven years. Why hang on a few more years, this is not an endurance test, you have to live now.

 

I too am troubled that your OH isn't going to move back in a few years and that is a delaying tactic. I could understand him saying that if you had been there six months or even twelve months, but after seven years of things not falling into place and he is still saying a few more years ... hmmm.

[MelbourneTractor]

Cornwall is so beautiful.

 

I want to go back to Leicester, there must be something wrong with me!

 

:laugh:

[suesmalls]

Just reading your post, good advice and life is short, I've lost both my Mum, Dad and 1 brother over past 13 yrs - they left Manchester 48yrs ago to come to Australia and start a life here and I thank them for it. I have had a fantastic life growing up in Australia. My poor Mum and Dad never made it back to UK and never spoke or kept in contact - I think it was just too hard (no internet or skype then).

 

I have only been to England once, loved Cambridge, Stamford, Stilton, London - so whilst I'm going to miss the wide open spaces here and the best beaches in the world - there will be so much to do in England. Family live near Peterborough, but not sure where we will live as work will be the driver. So it's going to be a big step change for me personally as I've only lived in Western Australia.

 

I've got UK citizenship sorted and NHI set up ready for when I arrive - selling home in Australia is next major hurdle, bad times here now.

 

I appreciated your input and feedback as it helped me look on the move as a positive one.

Thanks

[suesmalls]

sorry if I've jumped in on your post (Franklin05) - when I hit reply I thought it replied just to the one person, apologies. I hope things work out for you. It has taken me years to agree with the move as my husband wanted to go years ago - should have gone then as house prices were better to sell. But how do you ever know what the market is going to do both sides of the world with so many variables at present.

 

I feel for you and your situation - keep talking it through with your husband and hopefully a plan and common goal will be decided. I do think constant moving around Australia will have caused some grief. Very hard to settle when that is happening - but understand sometimes you need to move with work. Best wishes

[Franklin05]

 

Do you want to grow old and die in Australia?

 

 

 

Definitely not, it's a good point about building up pension in the UK too. I have nothing here as haven't been able to secure the work and have been at home with my daughter. I hadn't thought about that, but I don't expect to have much pension and think I will be working into my retirement no matter where I live.

[Franklin05]

 

 

I too am troubled that your OH isn't going to move back in a few years and that is a delaying tactic. I could understand him saying that if you had been there six months or even twelve months, but after seven years of things not falling into place and he is still saying a few more years ... hmmm.

 

Nothing in this other than we literally don't have the money to move back at the moment, lack of secure employment and moving around so much as eaten into pretty much everything we have so we are starting from the bottom up.

[Bungo]

Nothing in this other than we literally don't have the money to move back at the moment, lack of secure employment and moving around so much as eaten into pretty much everything we have so we are starting from the bottom up.

 

Well it is good that it is only that. In that case the way forward is to simply pull in your belts further and save as quickly as you can to get back. Will you be shipping furniture? Do you have any family that could provide a soft landing with somewhere to live when you arrive?

[Franklin05]

Well it is good that it is only that. In that case the way forward is to simply pull in your belts further and save as quickly as you can to get back. Will you be shipping furniture? Do you have any family that could provide a soft landing with somewhere to live when you arrive?

 

Not sure we can pull our belts in much more, we have a second baby on the way, still second one will be less expensive as we have most stuff already. Family don't really have much space, I think we'd be on a mattress in my sisters spare room which is basically full of junk. Still, it's something. Though she is not meant to have pets in her apartment so I am not sure about the dog. Maybe we will have to rotate the dog and ourselves around my family (my husband doesn't get on with his).

[VERYSTORMY]

We moved back in March mainly due to work.

 

Our situation ion was very similar to yours. I had had no long term work for a fair while - just contracting and earnings were very poor when the gaps of unemployment were added in. I finished the last contract in December and in February told my wife I was going to start applying for roles back in the UK. Within a couple of weeks I had interviews and an offer.

 

The down side was the job had to start the following week! So, we had a matter of days. Like you, we had very little cash but sold all our furnishings, car and things and that raised enough to ship boxes of personal things by a move cube and pay for flights and the essentials on arriving such as bond and first months rent.

 

We decided some time ago we wouldn't stay in the area we moved to - Windsor as we find the south east too expensive and for us, the bit of extra salary doesn't make up for the much higher costs of living in the south east - impossible to save and impossible to ever think about buying. So, I have easily managed to get interviews for other permanent jobs in other parts of the country - got one offer and another interview next week. After which we will move further north.

 

We we are now 6 months in and have to say, so far it has been an excellent decision. We have had a wonderful summer, lots of long walks in the countryside and am now looking forward to the trees changing colour and winter coming in. A proper Christmas for the first time in a long time.

[Keith and Linda]

I want to go back to Leicester, there must be something wrong with me!

 

:laugh:

 

It's a CHAMPION place now!

[MelbourneTractor]

It's a CHAMPION place now!

 

That was terrible...

 

plus, I can't even enjoy Leicester being champs as I'm an Ipswich Town fan.

[Franklin05]

We moved back in March mainly due to work.

 

Our situation ion was very similar to yours. I had had no long term work for a fair while - just contracting and earnings were very poor when the gaps of unemployment were added in. I finished the last contract in December and in February told my wife I was going to start applying for roles back in the UK. Within a couple of weeks I had interviews and an offer.

 

The down side was the job had to start the following week! So, we had a matter of days. Like you, we had very little cash but sold all our furnishings, car and things and that raised enough to ship boxes of personal things by a move cube and pay for flights and the essentials on arriving such as bond and first months rent.

 

Just found out about Move Cube on another thread, looks and sounds good, I think we will sell most furniture etc. Have tired to get a quote just now, but the site is not responding. Good hear that you are doing so well back in the UK and found work so easily, give me hope! Out of all the brits we met upon moving out here, we are only one of two couples to struggle with work etc. The other couple had to go back due to visa restrictions are now trying to get back in through NZ.