bristolman Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I have read a few threads over the years from people seemingly desperate to get to Australia, often people who have never even been there. Do returnees ever feel guilty that they have in a sense turned their backs on Australia when others would just about kill to get there ? Of course we have had the benefit of actually living there and experiencing the reality and not relying on a 'dream'. Just thinking out loud really lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I have read a few threads over the years from people seemingly desperate to get to Australia, often people who have never even been there. Do returnees ever feel guilty that they have in a sense turned their backs on Australia when others would just about kill to get there ? Of course we have had the benefit of actually living there and experiencing the reality and not relying on a 'dream'. Just thinking out loud really lol Guilt? Hell no! Relief more likely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Why on earth would anyone feel guilty? They are doing what is right for them and that's all that matters. As long as this thread doesn't end up as a "let's bash Australia thread" :cute: Too boring for words :SLEEP: especially for those of us who are happy here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I have read a few threads over the years from people seemingly desperate to get to Australia, often people who have never even been there. Do returnees ever feel guilty that they have in a sense turned their backs on Australia when others would just about kill to get there ? Of course we have had the benefit of actually living there and experiencing the reality and not relying on a 'dream'. Just thinking out loud really lol In all honesty jock ..not at all guilty ...australia was very good to me and my wife ...but on the other hand we didn't claim any dole,we worked hard ,my daughter is Australian,and if she was there now,she would be cheering for the green and gold . I don't feel any guilt or envy of those living in Australia ....my ramblings come from other issues unrelated to oz or pio Am I envious of the lifestyle of my siblings ...not at all ....pound for pound ,I have a better life ,and to top it all ,I married wisely. I didn't realise at the time what a wise decision it was . But our decision to tough it out in the u.k hasn't been easy ...the right decisions usually mean travelling on the toughest road . I often mention " ticking every box " that's what iam doing now ,as is quoll . The advantages That Australia had in the 50s,60s ,70s,80s and even 90s are diminishing . Could I achieve now what I did in the late 80s at the same age ...i very much doubt it. I would still tell someone with a young family to go for it though..its a great life for very young children . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Why on earth would anyone feel guilty? They are doing what is right for them and that's all that matters. As long as this thread doesn't end up as a "let's bash Australia thread" :cute: Too boring for words :SLEEP: especially for those of us who are happy here. I'm not really sure why a post like this should end up being a 'let's bash Australia thread', it really has nothing to do with Australia. My point is when we read about people literally busting a gut to get there is there ever any pangs of guilt about the fact that we lived there and gave it up ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 In all honesty jock ..not at all guilty ...australia was very good to me and my wife ...but on the other hand we didn't claim any dole,we worked hard ,my daughter is Australian,and if she was there now,she would be cheering for the green and gold . I don't feel any guilt or envy of those living in Australia ....my ramblings come from other issues unrelated to oz or pio Am I envious of the lifestyle of my siblings ...not at all ....pound for pound ,I have a better life ,and to top it all ,I married wisely. I didn't realise at the time what a wise decision it was . But our decision to tough it out in the u.k hasn't been easy ...the right decisions usually mean travelling on the toughest road . I often mention " ticking every box " that's what iam doing now ,as is quoll . The advantages That Australia had in the 50s,60s ,70s,80s and even 90s are diminishing . Could I achieve now what I did in the late 80s at the same age ...i very much doubt it. I would still tell someone with a young family to go for it though..its a great life for very young children . I thing the gist of what I am saying is being lost here. I'm not talking about the relative merits, which is better, why people moved back or anything of that nature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 No I wouldn't feel guilty if I was leave here , I have nothing to feel guilty about , I feel guilty for leaving my son in UK though every single day . I feel guilty I'm missing out on my grandkids ! But I probably will feel guilty actually if I did decide to leave Australia because my other 2 boys like it ! Ones staying in brissie regardless of what I do and moving in with his girlfriend mum and dad ! My other one will be coming here end of November ! so guilty all round because my middle one won't budge either way ! So if I did go back UK I have my other son and grandson and new grandchild on the way ! But my other son still here ! So yes guilt for that reason no other reason ! Lol too complicated I hate thinking about it ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 OK, I will try and rewrite what I am saying lol. When someone who has been living in Australia and then moves back to the UK or indeed any other country reads about people absolutely desperate to go TO Australia is there ever any guilt about the fact that you were there and left while there are others desperate to go. I'm not talking about feeling guilty about family left behind or making comparisons or which is better. This has nothing to do with the countries concerned. It's not really a very deep and meaningful question and a large part of me wishes I hadn't bloody asked the question now lol. When I read posts from people desperate to get to Australia and knowing I could go tomorrow if I wanted to I do get slight pangs of guilt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Oh ... I'm with you now lol sorry ! No I wouldn't feel guilty because what can you do ! You carny give people your visa ! Lol so no although sympathetic but nothing you can do ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Oh ... I'm with you now lol sorry ! No I wouldn't feel guilty because what can you do ! You carny give people your visa ! Lol so no although sympathetic but nothing you can do ! Haha, don't worry you weren't alone lol. Yes although there is nothing we can do it is hard I think not to feel some guilt in some way or other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybingobingo Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Haha, don't worry you weren't alone lol. Yes although there is nothing we can do it is hard I think not to feel some guilt in some way or other. no no guilt because if it was other way around they wouldn't feel guilty for you ! They would be swing from the lamp shades telling us on forums what a fantastic life they are having ! Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I have read a few threads over the years from people seemingly desperate to get to Australia, often people who have never even been there. Do returnees ever feel guilty that they have in a sense turned their backs on Australia when others would just about kill to get there ? Of course we have had the benefit of actually living there and experiencing the reality and not relying on a 'dream'. Just thinking out loud really lol From this side of the pond , I could ask ......" Do you feel guilty about leaving your parents and or children or siblings " ...but I seriously wouldn't do that . That question is far more relative ,but its not a post I would put up .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 From this side of the pond , I could ask ......" Do you feel guilty about leaving your parents and or children or siblings " ...but I seriously wouldn't do that .That question is far more relative ,but its not a post I would put up .... Yes I see what you are saying but that wasn't what I was asking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaisieK Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 bristolman, I know your post isn't directed at people like me as I'm one of the desperate ones trying to get over to Australia BUT for what it's worth, I completely understood what you were saying first time round Please don't feel guilty that you had the chance to go but decided to return, you have to do what is right for you and your family. It's my ultimate dream to be able to move over to Australia and has been since I was around 8 years old when I used to beg my dad to apply for jobs over there. I'm now 25 and looking at careers I can choose that could help me get over there! The main factor urging me to put a plan into action is the fact that I have my own little girl now and would love to be able to offer her the opportunities I never had. Anyway, I'm rambling! Long story short, don't feel guilty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 No, not guilty. If someone is determined enough I'm sure most could get there, but I think a lot of people who say they'd love to live there don't really mean it, or don't really understand what it entails. I know I've said to people that they should explore their options if they're serious, but that's usually met with all kinds of perceived 'obstacles' - family, friends, jobs, don't like the heat, it's too far, they're too old to retrain etc etc. We were lucky that we had skills which were in demand and decided that instead of talking about it, we'd actually do something about it. We know lots of people with the same or similar skills, but they still just talk wistfully about moving. Why would I feel guilty because we took the risk and they're not prepared to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifi69 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 No, not guilty. If someone is determined enough I'm sure most could get there, but I think a lot of people who say they'd love to live there don't really mean it, or don't really understand what it entails.I know I've said to people that they should explore their options if they're serious, but that's usually met with all kinds of perceived 'obstacles' - family, friends, jobs, don't like the heat, it's too far, they're too old to retrain etc etc. We were lucky that we had skills which were in demand and decided that instead of talking about it, we'd actually do something about it. We know lots of people with the same or similar skills, but they still just talk wistfully about moving. Why would I feel guilty because we took the risk and they're not prepared to? Your right, if you really want it, then you will move mountains to get it. I have plenty of friends back in the UK, who would love to do it.....but can't, because of this or that reason. Thats fine, they have their life, and I have mine. They could do it/could have done it but chose not too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaisieK Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I completely agree that most people saying they'd love to move to Australia create obstacles and reasons why they can't, probably due to fear of the unknown or how daunting it might be to make the big move. I must be one of the unusual ones because I can't see any reason why I can't do it other than the possibility of whatever job I retrain for being taken off the SOL/CSOL. Not decided what I should go for yet but I'm praying it will still be there in a few years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 bristolman, I know your post isn't directed at people like me as I'm one of the desperate ones trying to get over to Australia BUT for what it's worth, I completely understood what you were saying first time round Please don't feel guilty that you had the chance to go but decided to return, you have to do what is right for you and your family. It's my ultimate dream to be able to move over to Australia and has been since I was around 8 years old when I used to beg my dad to apply for jobs over there. I'm now 25 and looking at careers I can choose that could help me get over there! The main factor urging me to put a plan into action is the fact that I have my own little girl now and would love to be able to offer her the opportunities I never had. Anyway, I'm rambling! Long story short, don't feel guilty Thanks, I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one who could understand my post lol. My situation is a little different as I grew up in Australia. So at age 8 you had never actually been there ? When I came back to England with my parents when still at school there was literally nowhere in the world as good as Australia, everything was better there. Over the years that changed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 No, not guilty. If someone is determined enough I'm sure most could get there, but I think a lot of people who say they'd love to live there don't really mean it, or don't really understand what it entails.I know I've said to people that they should explore their options if they're serious, but that's usually met with all kinds of perceived 'obstacles' - family, friends, jobs, don't like the heat, it's too far, they're too old to retrain etc etc. We were lucky that we had skills which were in demand and decided that instead of talking about it, we'd actually do something about it. We know lots of people with the same or similar skills, but they still just talk wistfully about moving. Why would I feel guilty because we took the risk and they're not prepared to? I have had people ask me why we came back to England because things must be better in Australia but that sort of comment is very rare nowadays. We don't personally know anyone who wants to move or expressed any desire to. Some comment about the beaches or whatever but that's as far as it goes. As far as your last comment, no I mean people who are going through the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaisieK Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Thanks, I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one who could understand my post lol. My situation is a little different as I grew up in Australia. So at age 8 you had never actually been there ? When I came back to England with my parents when still at school there was literally nowhere in the world as good as Australia, everything was better there. Over the years that changed. Nope, I'd never been - I was a strange child lol! I don't even know what it was that made me love Australia so much but when I finally went for the first time I just knew it was where I wanted to be. I had to return sooner than planned because sadly my mum passed away. Can I be nosey and ask what changed that made you want to return to the UK? And also, what part of Australia did you grow up in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 I completely agree that most people saying they'd love to move to Australia create obstacles and reasons why they can't, probably due to fear of the unknown or how daunting it might be to make the big move. I must be one of the unusual ones because I can't see any reason why I can't do it other than the possibility of whatever job I retrain for being taken off the SOL/CSOL. Not decided what I should go for yet but I'm praying it will still be there in a few years! Just choose something that will always be in demand, sounds obvious of course but anything to do with nursing I reckon will always be in demand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Nope, I'd never been - I was a strange child lol! I don't even know what it was that made me love Australia so much but when I finally went for the first time I just knew it was where I wanted to be. I had to return sooner than planned because sadly my mum passed away. Can I be nosey and ask what changed that made you want to return to the UK? And also, what part of Australia did you grow up in? Yes it's very strange to have such a strong attachment to a country you had never seen or been to. Not nosey at all. We never really felt totally at home in Australia, even though we were settled in our own house we always felt as though it was temporary. There is a lot more for us here, it just feels as though it is where we should be. We consulted our kids about it and they were very excited and still love it here. I grew up In Victoria. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Yes it's very strange to have such a strong attachment to a country you had never seen or been to. Not nosey at all. We never really felt totally at home in Australia, even though we were settled in our own house we always felt as though it was temporary. There is a lot more for us here, it just feels as though it is where we should be. We consulted our kids about it and they were very excited and still love it here. I grew up In Victoria. Maisie had been to Australia before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Yes it's very strange to have such a strong attachment to a country you had never seen or been to. Not nosey at all. We never really felt totally at home in Australia, Corect me if I am wrong but weren't you brought to Oz before the age of 8yrs? Were you so socially aware from then and thereafter of where you felt "totally at home" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Maisie had been to Australia before. No I meant when she was 8, she said she had this attachment to Australia when she was 8 but had never been there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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