pommyr Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Hi guys. I have been living in Australia about 3 years currently on my temporary partnership visa. I have finally found a good full time job just had my first child with my partner life seems fantastic... Until a week ago anyway, when my wife told me she is not happy in our relationship... In fact getting to the point she told me to f*** off back to England. Well as you might guess quite the shock for this new father who finally managed to set off his Aussie career who loves driving home each day and cooking for my family cleaning up and generally thought everything was going fantastic... The Australian dream! Now since that morning we have not separated but I am constantly worried... I am on a temporary visa... If my wife pulls sponsorship I will have to leave my son behind and just as I thought life couldn't be better the world would decidedly suck! What are my options here has anyone else been caught in this situation? Now I never married for a visa but now if things continue and I can't save this relationship I may be sticking this out just to get one. What should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blossom Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Wow that's crap. First off I would be looking at counselling. Having a baby can mess around with your head. Then look to see if your job is on the sol or csol just incase. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pommyr Posted June 16, 2014 Author Share Posted June 16, 2014 I am already pursuing councilling hoping wife will attend too! I know she is struggling at times with the little man and she gets frustrated with how calm he is with me. With regards to work I will be looking into whether it is sold or csol but I also don't want to raise my relationship issues quite yet at my new job. I have been there only two months. I have read that I would be granted pr because we have a dependant Australian citizen from the relationship but I do not know how solid this advice is. It eats me up thinking I may have to be in another country to my little man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Grey Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 The visa situation isn't really an issue, you can get PR if the relationship breaks down and there's a child of the relationship. Can't offer any personal advice. I've had a similar situation and still searching for an answer myself! Things change and it can be rough, but the child is worth all the grey hairs and sacrifices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pommyr Posted June 16, 2014 Author Share Posted June 16, 2014 Adam you are so right my child became my everything the moment he came onto this planet and is all I can think of at present. I have been having nightmares about what could happen with regards to my visa so its a relief to here that should be OK. Now without such pressures on my head I must move on and try and save this relationship! Fingers crossed there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Until a week ago anyway, when my wife told me she is not happy in our relationship... In fact getting to the point she told me to f*** off back to England. There is obviously something wrong which you can't see on your own. And it sounds like your wife isn't able to explain it to you either. Unless you can work out what the problem is and address it, there is no way you can save your marriage - it won't go away on its own. Being extra helpful or thoughtful isn't going to be enough. I'd say you urgently need to go to counselling, so a third party can help you identify the issue. Then you'll have an even chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pommyr Posted June 16, 2014 Author Share Posted June 16, 2014 Thanks Marisa I had the feeling it was something I needed to address. I was looking to this forum purely for help in taking the pressures of ensuring I will be near my son whatever the outcome of this out of the equation . hence removing pressure and resentment it creates and allowing us to look at the problem without any external issues. I am as I said reccomending councilling to my wife and will do all I can to save the marriage as she is the original reason I moved to Australia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrussell Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 In respect of your immigration status, I suggest you contact a registered migration agent for advice about strategy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Thanks Marisa I had the feeling it was something I needed to address. I was looking to this forum purely for help in taking the pressures of ensuring I will be near my son whatever the outcome of this out of the equation . hence removing pressure and resentment it creates and allowing us to look at the problem without any external issues. I am as I said reccomending councilling to my wife and will do all I can to save the marriage as she is the original reason I moved to Australia. All the best with it. Having a child totally changes the dynamic of a relationship, it's like you're starting again. You say the baby is your primary focus now, which struck me as that's usually the woman's reaction, and the husband feels left out because the wife transfers all her affections to the baby. Is there a chance your wife feels a bit like that, since you seem so good with the little one and she's struggling? Could she have a touch of post natal depression? Are you being too capable and leaving her feeling useless? Lots of possibilities, I do hope you sort it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeTMI Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 If my wife pulls sponsorship I will have to leave my son behind and just as I thought life couldn't be better the world would decidedly suck! What are my options here has anyone else been caught in this situation? Now I never married for a visa but now if things continue and I can't save this relationship I may be sticking this out just to get one. What should I do? To echo the other migration agents who posted above, get advice in respect of your visa. From what you have said there are options towards obtaining PR if your relationship does in the end break down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 Just echoing the others, I know when Iv had a new baby, Iv been so tired and grouchy, everything seems at fault. Does your wife need some time out with friends? Is she isolated? Are her friends supportive? Perhaps give her some space and just bear with her whilst she goes through this stage. Have you spoke to her about your future and how you would always like to be there for her and your child and you cant do that from the UK? Perhaps speak to her friends and ask if they can support her at the moment, but of course that is all dependant on the situation and your relationship with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Tilley Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 The visa situation isn't really an issue, you can get PR if the relationship breaks down and there's a child of the relationship. Can't offer any personal advice. I've had a similar situation and still searching for an answer myself! Things change and it can be rough, but the child is worth all the grey hairs and sacrifices. You can't be too sure with this. I couldn't get a visa to remain in Oz even though my son and my ex partner had PR. I travelled over on a 457 visa and was dependent on my ex for this, so when we split up I was not entitled to a visa in my own right. Immigration really didn't give a damn about my rights as a mother to stay in the same country as my son. You really need to check via DIAC (anonymously if possible!) what the chances are of you getting a visa in your own right if the worst comes to the worst and you do split up - it's not simple at all. I wish you luck. Hopefully DIAC have got more compassionate in the last 7 years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny842003 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 You can't be too sure with this. I couldn't get a visa to remain in Oz even though my son and my ex partner had PR. I travelled over on a 457 visa and was dependent on my ex for this, so when we split up I was not entitled to a visa in my own right. Immigration really didn't give a damn about my rights as a mother to stay in the same country as my son. You really need to check via DIAC (anonymously if possible!) what the chances are of you getting a visa in your own right if the worst comes to the worst and you do split up - it's not simple at all. I wish you luck. Hopefully DIAC have got more compassionate in the last 7 years! Is this because the child wasn't an Australian citizen though. Where as in this case it is a dependant Australian. They maybe happy to neglect a pom child of a parent but an Ozzie child sounds a bit harsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Grey Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 You can't be too sure with this. I couldn't get a visa to remain in Oz even though my son and my ex partner had PR. I travelled over on a 457 visa and was dependent on my ex for this, so when we split up I was not entitled to a visa in my own right. Immigration really didn't give a damn about my rights as a mother to stay in the same country as my son. You really need to check via DIAC (anonymously if possible!) what the chances are of you getting a visa in your own right if the worst comes to the worst and you do split up - it's not simple at all. I wish you luck. Hopefully DIAC have got more compassionate in the last 7 years! Different circumstances. Never assume your experience will be the same as another. From what the OP has written he is the holder of a temporary partner visa and has a new child born of the relationship with his sponsor. Provided he has joint custody of the child (which it's reasonable to assume he has) there is a provision to obtain the Permanent Partner visa even if the relationship breaks down. I always advocate people undertaking their own research and/or consulting with a Registered Migration Agent. Nobody should blindly follow any information given on a forum from me or anyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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