Roberta2 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Some older women after divorce or widowhood put their assets into granny flats to keep a roof over their head. That makes them hostage to the marriages of their children - if they don't own the title to the land. Have seen several cases where the children's marriage breaks down, the mother's assets are lost, and she ends up homeless. Lawyers always say not to do this, but despite the evidence that one third of marriages end in divorce, a lot of people just don't want to listen. My lawyer was regaling me with a few sad tales just recently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 (edited) is this because women throw in the towel earlier, or is it the poor behaviour of some men? A very good point. Parley is implying that because most divorces are initiated by women, that means it's the woman's fault and therefore it's her fault if she ends up struggling financially. That's not a fair conclusion. I assume Parley feels that if the husband is a good provider, the wife should stick with him even if he has several mistresses, or beats her every Friday night, or treats her like a housekeeper, or - you get the picture. Similarly of course, I assume he would say that a husband should stick with his wife even if she has multiple affairs, refuses him sex, is violent . . .? When people divorce there is generally fault on both sides, not just one. http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenintheworld/2015/08/24/why-women-are-more-likely-than-men-to-initiate-a-divorce/ I love the quote at the end of this second article. "Many men will have thought to themselves, at least once in life: “I won’t break up with her, I’ll just be a complete tool until she ends it”. The divorce stats are perhaps just a reflection of the fact that men are cowards. Women are more likely to have the balls to call time on a failing relationship; men are more likely to simply wait to be told that it’s over." http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10357829/Why-do-women-initiate-divorce-more-than-men.html Edited October 3, 2016 by Marisawright Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Don't put words in my mouth that I haven't said. I was merely refuting the point that Roberta makes that women are the victims after divorce when in actual fact in most cases women have initiated the divorce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 ...........many women have stayed home to look after the children,... ...........while helping and promoting the mans career.... ...........being out of the work force for many women means on divorce they have to start again on the ladder.... ...........while juggling child care ............half the assets....? .............rarely.... .............though finding somewhere with children in tow afterwards is going to cost a lot more than a batcheler pad... ..............most women come off worse after a divorce......it's a sad fact of life... ...............and perhaps an in depth look at why most women initiate divorce..... ................and why many stay despite the reasons.......as it's just not financially viable to leave.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 But as you know most houses in Australia are worth a hell of a lot more that $350K and with compulsory superannuation well entrenched there are are usually sizeable family asset pools to divide, The median price Australia wide is about $600K. But if there's a mortgage, as there so often is, the proceeds for either party may not amount to much, making it very difficult to get back into the housing market on a single income. Did your friend initiate the divorce like most women seem to ? No - she was left for a younger blonde model. Although 10 years on he seems to have regrets. We have two other couple friends who divorced in the same 10 year period and both were initiated by the man. One I can certainly understand: it was a very unsuitable marriage he rushed into after the death of his first wife. And yes the vast majority of sepearations and divorces are initiated by the woman.so she no doubt feels empowered to take that action. Often because they've spent years living with violent, destructive or difficult behaviour and they've finally come to the realisation that the partner is either unwilling or unable to change. Obviously that's not the case in all separations but it's been the result of research undertaken into the causes of women-initiated separation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skani Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Women are more likely to have the balls to call time on a failing relationship; men are more likely to simply wait to be told that it’s over." A family court lawyer once told me "In my experience, women leave a relationship because they're unhappy.....men won't leave unless they have another woman to go to". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Some older women after divorce or widowhood put their assets into granny flats to keep a roof over their head. That makes them hostage to the marriages of their children - if they don't own the title to the land. Have seen several cases where the children's marriage breaks down, the mother's assets are lost, and she ends up homeless. Lawyers always say not to do this, but despite the evidence that one third of marriages end in divorce, a lot of people just don't want to listen. My lawyer was regaling me with a few sad tales just recently. A good point. Granny flats need special attention for those looking at that as a solution to age care. I also know a case where the father signed over the house to his two grand kids. This was after a messy tax problem which was rather complicated. To cut a long story short, the relationship between the mother and oldest son has ' strained' over recent years and I could see a time on her partners passing that she may feel she has outstayed her welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 A family court lawyer once told me "In my experience, women leave a relationship because they're unhappy.....men won't leave unless they have another woman to go to". I suspect a lot of truth in that statement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roberta2 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Re granny flats: I believe that there are ways that older parents can protect themselves by drawing up legally binding documents before they put their money into a granny flat on a property that they do not own. Problem is that too few understand the need to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 A family court lawyer once told me "In my experience, women leave a relationship because they're unhappy.....men won't leave unless they have another woman to go to". so the man is usually the 'victim' if there is one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 so the man is usually the 'victim' if there is one. How do you work that out? If the woman is unhappy, she leaves. Quite right too. If the man is unhappy, he uses his wife as a handy f*ck buddy and housekeeper until he can find a better offer. I don't see any victim in that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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