Jump to content

If/When you go back what WON"T you miss about Australia


wattsy1982

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 179
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Tried to keep this short to prevent feeling bitter about my soon to be ex-home..ahem...;)

 

AFL - Just what is this exactly. Not a real sport, men prancing around in boxer shorts jumping to catch a rugby ball. Nobody else plays this sport for a reason...

 

The general lack of intelligence and decent conversation

 

The macho culture (if I hear "do you even lift" one more time...)

 

Being asked how I'm going. Firstly because it doesn't make sense and secondly because the people asking don't actually care anyway so why are they asking me. Hearing "good on ya" at random intervals and without warning.

 

How jumped up and left wing all the students are, and how they protest about everything and it's always where I'm going. How despite knowing nothing about the real world they preach their communist doctrine at every opportunity

 

How stupid their PM is (although it is amusing too)

 

How slow the internet is (a 10 megabit connection is heralded as a success in central Melbourne)

 

How expensive clothes are and how they are 3 seasons behind but not discounted

 

How the Indian food is absolutely terrible

 

The closed social groups (sorry, family and school friends only)

 

The ridiculously hot summers and especially the 30 degree nights; the fact that in winter you're warmer outside than in due to the poor build quality of the houses

 

Cashed up bogans - a scary prospect

 

The incredibly poor communication from banks, energy providers, telstra, etc. Onus always on the customer to fix the inevitable problems

 

The backward work practices, obsession with legislating anything & everything, having to work more hours due to being "the only one with a brain"

 

Being a totally irrelevant country in world affairs, yet very little actual news on tv

 

A current affair

 

Anything like my kitchen rules, the block, the voice and how it's constantly rammed down everyone's throat as if it's somehow real life or important in any way. The dramatic music

 

The TV in general is appalling, the breaks every 5 minutes in formula 1

 

Having to use all your annual leave just to fly home and have a decent conversation. Being miles away from the states and europe

 

Being forced to put money into super funds

 

Having to constantly make new friends as most of them will leave eventually & the stress it causes

 

Being bored or stressed out constantly

 

What the hell is a capsicum? Stop changing all our words

 

Mother's day is not in May

 

The complete lack of history or culture (laneway bars are nice, but not culture)

 

The fact that a bloke wearing ball busting skinny jeans, with a ZZ top beard riding a single spoke bicycle is immune to ridicule somehow riles me

 

Ok that'll do, quite therapeutic actually :yes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bloody hell Tom don't hold back will you.

 

You forgot to mention how they shorten everything :-

 

Ambos

Firies

Tradies

Pushies

Arvo

Smoko

Bottlo

 

Etc

 

I also find it weird how people can dress up here and somehow just blend in.

 

Guy wearing a beret with a ridiculous mustach and beard sporting a cravat and riding a vintage bicycle would not last 5 mins n England.

 

But that's why I personally love Australia.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You'll suffer for this!

 

Tried to keep this short to prevent feeling bitter about my soon to be ex-home..ahem...;)

 

AFL - Just what is this exactly. Not a real sport, men prancing around in boxer shorts jumping to catch a rugby ball. Nobody else plays this sport for a reason...

 

The general lack of intelligence and decent conversation

 

The macho culture (if I hear "do you even lift" one more time...)

 

Being asked how I'm going. Firstly because it doesn't make sense and secondly because the people asking don't actually care anyway so why are they asking me. Hearing "good on ya" at random intervals and without warning.

 

How jumped up and left wing all the students are, and how they protest about everything and it's always where I'm going. How despite knowing nothing about the real world they preach their communist doctrine at every opportunity

 

How stupid their PM is (although it is amusing too)

 

How slow the internet is (a 10 megabit connection is heralded as a success in central Melbourne)

 

How expensive clothes are and how they are 3 seasons behind but not discounted

 

How the Indian food is absolutely terrible

 

The closed social groups (sorry, family and school friends only)

 

The ridiculously hot summers and especially the 30 degree nights; the fact that in winter you're warmer outside than in due to the poor build quality of the houses

 

Cashed up bogans - a scary prospect

 

The incredibly poor communication from banks, energy providers, telstra, etc. Onus always on the customer to fix the inevitable problems

 

The backward work practices, obsession with legislating anything & everything, having to work more hours due to being "the only one with a brain"

 

Being a totally irrelevant country in world affairs, yet very little actual news on tv

 

A current affair

 

Anything like my kitchen rules, the block, the voice and how it's constantly rammed down everyone's throat as if it's somehow real life or important in any way. The dramatic music

 

The TV in general is appalling, the breaks every 5 minutes in formula 1

 

Having to use all your annual leave just to fly home and have a decent conversation. Being miles away from the states and europe

 

Being forced to put money into super funds

 

Having to constantly make new friends as most of them will leave eventually & the stress it causes

 

Being bored or stressed out constantly

 

What the hell is a capsicum? Stop changing all our words

 

Mother's day is not in May

 

The complete lack of history or culture (laneway bars are nice, but not culture)

 

The fact that a bloke wearing ball busting skinny jeans, with a ZZ top beard riding a single spoke bicycle is immune to ridicule somehow riles me

 

Ok that'll do, quite therapeutic actually :yes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tried to keep this short to prevent feeling bitter about my soon to be ex-home..ahem...;)

 

AFL - Just what is this exactly. Not a real sport, men prancing around in boxer shorts jumping to catch a rugby ball. Nobody else plays this sport for a reason...

 

The general lack of intelligence and decent conversation

 

The macho culture (if I hear "do you even lift" one more time...)

 

Being asked how I'm going. Firstly because it doesn't make sense and secondly because the people asking don't actually care anyway so why are they asking me. Hearing "good on ya" at random intervals and without warning.

 

How jumped up and left wing all the students are, and how they protest about everything and it's always where I'm going. How despite knowing nothing about the real world they preach their communist doctrine at every opportunity

 

How stupid their PM is (although it is amusing too)

 

How slow the internet is (a 10 megabit connection is heralded as a success in central Melbourne)

 

How expensive clothes are and how they are 3 seasons behind but not discounted

 

How the Indian food is absolutely terrible

 

The closed social groups (sorry, family and school friends only)

 

The ridiculously hot summers and especially the 30 degree nights; the fact that in winter you're warmer outside than in due to the poor build quality of the houses

 

Cashed up bogans - a scary prospect

 

The incredibly poor communication from banks, energy providers, telstra, etc. Onus always on the customer to fix the inevitable problems

 

The backward work practices, obsession with legislating anything & everything, having to work more hours due to being "the only one with a brain"

 

Being a totally irrelevant country in world affairs, yet very little actual news on tv

 

A current affair

 

Anything like my kitchen rules, the block, the voice and how it's constantly rammed down everyone's throat as if it's somehow real life or important in any way. The dramatic music

 

The TV in general is appalling, the breaks every 5 minutes in formula 1

 

Having to use all your annual leave just to fly home and have a decent conversation. Being miles away from the states and europe

 

Being forced to put money into super funds

 

Having to constantly make new friends as most of them will leave eventually & the stress it causes

 

Being bored or stressed out constantly

 

What the hell is a capsicum? Stop changing all our words

 

Mother's day is not in May

 

The complete lack of history or culture (laneway bars are nice, but not culture)

 

The fact that a bloke wearing ball busting skinny jeans, with a ZZ top beard riding a single spoke bicycle is immune to ridicule somehow riles me

 

Ok that'll do, quite therapeutic actually :yes:

 

 

 

Of the bits highlighted, the first one puts me in mind of Michael McIntyre's joke about being at an airport in Australia and someone asking him "how you goin'?" He responded with "I'm going by plane thanks, how are you going!?"

 

That second one says that you've definitely been in Melbourne too long!. That guy was probably on his way to Barista School!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Billionaire bogans who punch on in the street and only get a $500 fine. And why do so many people hate AFL? - it's great - makes football look soft and boring.

 

i actually find it really hard to watch a soccer game now after years of AFL conditioning. It's like nonstop action which is good and it's hard to pick up too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Of the bits highlighted, the first one puts me in mind of Michael McIntyre's joke about being at an airport in Australia and someone asking him "how you goin'?" He responded with "I'm going by plane thanks, how are you going!?"

 

That second one says that you've definitely been in Melbourne too long!. That guy was probably on his way to Barista School!

 

Haha or his pot den, but you're probably right

 

I didn't realise he'd made a joke of that, we've all been telling that one since we got here! Going does imply travelling or movement of some sort. I somebody asked me how I "went" the other day. So all derivatives of "go" appear to be acceptable

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When are you going back, Tom? Sounds like it should be sooner rather than later! I disagree with just about everything on your list except 'cashed up bogans', and 'Anything like my kitchen rules, the block, the voice and how it's constantly rammed down everyone's throat as if it's somehow real life or important in any way. The dramatic music' but I would also add the nanny state and need to legislate on every little perceived danger to the public/kids.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Guest95262

Im hoping to stay 5 yrs or so but I have a few daily annoyances

 

TV & Radio, its just plain **** here

arrogant drivers, I can't understand how they can't understand lane discipline

constant talk about sports especially cricket, and then shock when I shrug my shoulders about any sport, like theres nothing else in life

terrible terrible clubs and nightlife, every other club plays hard style, nothing to cater for people who don't like mainstream, not here anyway

2 bands or dis coming a yr, if your lucky

****ing crows

accent, but not everyone, seems radio presenters have the annoying twang and some women

proper lack of choice on crisps

beetroot on burgers

cold meat at xmas

the speed limits here are to low

crap internet speeds

 

All of these bug the hell out of me but I can live with them all but the lack of decent nightlife would be the only one id tho home for

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tried to keep this short to prevent feeling bitter about my soon to be ex-home..ahem...;)

 

AFL - Just what is this exactly. Not a real sport, men prancing around in boxer shorts jumping to catch a rugby ball. Nobody else plays this sport for a reason...

 

The general lack of intelligence and decent conversation

 

The macho culture (if I hear "do you even lift" one more time...)

 

Being asked how I'm going. Firstly because it doesn't make sense and secondly because the people asking don't actually care anyway so why are they asking me. Hearing "good on ya" at random intervals and without warning.

 

How jumped up and left wing all the students are, and how they protest about everything and it's always where I'm going. How despite knowing nothing about the real world they preach their communist doctrine at every opportunity

 

How stupid their PM is (although it is amusing too)

 

How slow the internet is (a 10 megabit connection is heralded as a success in central Melbourne)

 

How expensive clothes are and how they are 3 seasons behind but not discounted

 

How the Indian food is absolutely terrible

 

The closed social groups (sorry, family and school friends only)

 

The ridiculously hot summers and especially the 30 degree nights; the fact that in winter you're warmer outside than in due to the poor build quality of the houses

 

Cashed up bogans - a scary prospect

 

The incredibly poor communication from banks, energy providers, telstra, etc. Onus always on the customer to fix the inevitable problems

 

The backward work practices, obsession with legislating anything & everything, having to work more hours due to being "the only one with a brain"

 

Being a totally irrelevant country in world affairs, yet very little actual news on tv

 

A current affair

 

Anything like my kitchen rules, the block, the voice and how it's constantly rammed down everyone's throat as if it's somehow real life or important in any way. The dramatic music

 

The TV in general is appalling, the breaks every 5 minutes in formula 1

 

Having to use all your annual leave just to fly home and have a decent conversation. Being miles away from the states and europe

 

Being forced to put money into super funds

 

Having to constantly make new friends as most of them will leave eventually & the stress it causes

 

Being bored or stressed out constantly

 

What the hell is a capsicum? Stop changing all our words

 

Mother's day is not in May

 

The complete lack of history or culture (laneway bars are nice, but not culture)

 

The fact that a bloke wearing ball busting skinny jeans, with a ZZ top beard riding a single spoke bicycle is immune to ridicule somehow riles me

 

Ok that'll do, quite therapeutic actually :yes:

 

MAGNIFICENT

 

This is going on our bedroom wall.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

constant talk about sports especially cricket, and then shock when I shrug my shoulders about any sport, like theres nothing else in life

 

This.

 

I've killed off countless 'convos' because of my lack of enthusiasm about AFL/NRL/Soccer...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Im hoping to stay 5 yrs or so but I have a few daily annoyances

 

TV & Radio, its just plain **** here

arrogant drivers, I can't understand how they can't understand lane discipline

constant talk about sports especially cricket, and then shock when I shrug my shoulders about any sport, like theres nothing else in life

terrible terrible clubs and nightlife, every other club plays hard style, nothing to cater for people who don't like mainstream, not here anyway

2 bands or dis coming a yr, if your lucky

****ing crows

accent, but not everyone, seems radio presenters have the annoying twang and some women

proper lack of choice on crisps

beetroot on burgers

cold meat at xmas

the speed limits here are to low

crap internet speeds

 

All of these bug the hell out of me but I can live with them all but the lack of decent nightlife would be the only one id tho home for

 

 

Agree with all but not beetroot on burgers - I'm a real convert, I even buy some to slap on my home made burgers!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I quite enjoy watching AFL but can't stand how come there is an AFL story on the news (Ch 7or 9) every single day of the year!!

Being asked 'how are you' all the time by shop assistants.

Bad driving - most drivers in Adelaide are so slow and dozey it's unbelievable

Being ripped off because everything is so expensive and you know it's so much cheaper in the UK

The lack of awareness of what is going on in the rest of the world

The sausages

As mentioned before the freezing cold houses in winter

That'll do for now...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tried to keep this short to prevent feeling bitter about my soon to be ex-home..ahem...;)

 

AFL - Just what is this exactly. Not a real sport, men prancing around in boxer shorts jumping to catch a rugby ball. Nobody else plays this sport for a reason...

 

The general lack of intelligence and decent conversation

 

The macho culture (if I hear "do you even lift" one more time...)

 

Being asked how I'm going. Firstly because it doesn't make sense and secondly because the people asking don't actually care anyway so why are they asking me. Hearing "good on ya" at random intervals and without warning.

 

How jumped up and left wing all the students are, and how they protest about everything and it's always where I'm going. How despite knowing nothing about the real world they preach their communist doctrine at every opportunity

 

How stupid their PM is (although it is amusing too)

 

How slow the internet is (a 10 megabit connection is heralded as a success in central Melbourne)

 

How expensive clothes are and how they are 3 seasons behind but not discounted

 

How the Indian food is absolutely terrible

 

The closed social groups (sorry, family and school friends only)

 

The ridiculously hot summers and especially the 30 degree nights; the fact that in winter you're warmer outside than in due to the poor build quality of the houses

 

Cashed up bogans - a scary prospect

 

The incredibly poor communication from banks, energy providers, telstra, etc. Onus always on the customer to fix the inevitable problems

 

The backward work practices, obsession with legislating anything & everything, having to work more hours due to being "the only one with a brain"

 

Being a totally irrelevant country in world affairs, yet very little actual news on tv

 

A current affair

 

Anything like my kitchen rules, the block, the voice and how it's constantly rammed down everyone's throat as if it's somehow real life or important in any way. The dramatic music

 

The TV in general is appalling, the breaks every 5 minutes in formula 1

 

Having to use all your annual leave just to fly home and have a decent conversation. Being miles away from the states and europe

 

Being forced to put money into super funds

 

Having to constantly make new friends as most of them will leave eventually & the stress it causes

 

Being bored or stressed out constantly

 

What the hell is a capsicum? Stop changing all our words

 

Mother's day is not in May

 

The complete lack of history or culture (laneway bars are nice, but not culture)

 

The fact that a bloke wearing ball busting skinny jeans, with a ZZ top beard riding a single spoke bicycle is immune to ridicule somehow riles me

 

Ok that'll do, quite therapeutic actually :yes:

spot on.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Forgot AFL, the reason it is only played in Oz is because it is shitte, the most boring game I have been forced to watch on a few occasions as someone bought me tickets, compared to our rugby league it is played by skinny legged weaklings in tight shorts....garbage.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...