Not the only one

[Helz980]

I've kinda been in my own bubble, taking each day etc quietly counting down the weeks until I go home (albeit no flights booked yet) & I was talking to 2 of my expat friends & they broke down (seperately) about how they feel about oz & how desperate they are to go home but have been too scared to talk about it. I was in a shop being served by a woman who has been here for 42 years & said whatever you do follow your heart, I never did & now it's too late to go back.

 

It just goes to show how many of us poms just want to be back.

[surfndirt]

Hya Helz,

 

As I have talked about a canny few times on here - it's the propaganda that really gets me. For example, if someone moved to LA or Chicago and - once there decided that they actually much prefered life in the NE of England. No one would have any issue at all - including the actual person. But, us poms have been conditioned from birth pretty much (esp the hard core Neighbours generation) to think Australia is a complete and utter paradise. Thus meaning, when (some) people have that realisation that they actually prefer life somewhere else - it causes a fair amount of angst which is really unfortunate. Again, all my mates from the NE have come and gone and none of em want to come back! That includes when talking to them in the middle of winter after surfing in the North Sea......

[Marisawright]

Hya Helz,

 

As I have talked about a canny few times on here - it's the propaganda that really gets me. For example, if someone moved to LA or Chicago and - once there decided that they actually much prefered life in the NE of England. No one would have any issue at all - including the actual person. But, us poms have been conditioned from birth pretty much (esp the hard core Neighbours generation) to think Australia is a complete and utter paradise..

 

So true, and it started long before Neighbours with the Ten Pound Poms. To us in Scotland, my auntie's detached house and big backyard seemed unbelievably extravagant - we assumed she must be rich when in fact she probably wasn't! And I know I wasn't the only one whose aunts and uncles were "making their fortune" in Oz when I was a lass.

 

That propaganda has a lot to answer for. Not only does it cause people who have a perfectly good life in the UK to think it's worth moving, it also makes people reluctant to admit it was a mistake, which is very sad.

 

Not that my move was a mistake - we moved in the Thatcher years at the height of the miner's strike and Australia was paradise by comparison.

[Helz980]

I know for my friends & I the biggest change in our life was having our children & realising that they need grandparents & we need support. That may not be the case for everyone but all I see is Olivia in her wellies running about on my parents farm in the north Tyne valley! Not dealing with fecking sand & me worrying that some kind of nasty creature will get her (bit extreme but you catch my drift!!)

[starlight7]

I don't think there would be many places in the world that could be called 'paradise'. Many look like they are- but scratch under the visuals and stunning views and they are nothing like it. It is always the people who make a place liveable ( or not) ultimately.

[wattsy1982]

Hi,

 

If you could go home tomorrow and no one at home or here in oz would ever acknowledge that it didnt work or you didnt give it long enough etc would you go OR still stay in Aus for a while?

 

Weve been here 9 months and although we havent struggled financially (yet) or to find work and a house etc weve/I am still thinking that we will go home in the future, be it 2 years or 5 years or longer. Nothing 'wrong' with it here just not what I want long term.

 

I suppose what I am trying to ask/answer is, although I would go home now, Im still telling myself that we will/should give it 2 years....is this because we want to or because subconsciously I think we should to answer any doubters if/when we go home.....This post makes no sense!!

 

Dan

[Helz980]

Hi,

 

If you could go home tomorrow and no one at home or here in oz would ever acknowledge that it didnt work or you didnt give it long enough etc would you go OR still stay in Aus for a while?

 

Weve been here 9 months and although we havent struggled financially (yet) or to find work and a house etc weve/I am still thinking that we will go home in the future, be it 2 years or 5 years or longer. Nothing 'wrong' with it here just not what I want long term.

 

I suppose what I am trying to ask/answer is, although I would go home now, Im still telling myself that we will/should give it 2 years....is this because we want to or because subconsciously I think we should to answer any doubters if/when we go home.....This post makes no sense!!

 

Dan

[quote=wattsy1982;19364893

 

 

i think am past the point of caring what others think. I think for me personally people never actually thought I would go in the first place! I think oz is a great place, I live in a town where you walk down the street & strangers say hello, I've got lots of friends & some really close ones who I can talk to about how I'm feeling. & yet I still want to return.

 

 

I always said oz isn't forever & I feel like am 'working my notice' at the moment. Saying that I may get home in the summer & realise nope oz is for me so that's why my 'holiday' in August is important.

 

 

I think you are just thinking out loud Dan!!!

 

@starlight totally agree nothing is paradise it's how the place makes you feel as to whether you are in paradise or not

[wattsy1982]

How long have you been here Helz?

[Belinda Au]

So true, and it started long before Neighbours with the Ten Pound Poms. To us in Scotland, my auntie's detached house and big backyard seemed unbelievably extravagant - we assumed she must be rich when in fact she probably wasn't! And I know I wasn't the only one whose aunts and uncles were "making their fortune" in Oz when I was a lass.

 

That propaganda has a lot to answer for. Not only does it cause people who have a perfectly good life in the UK to think it's worth moving, it also makes people reluctant to admit it was a mistake, which is very sad.

 

Not that my move was a mistake - we moved in the Thatcher years at the height of the miner's strike and Australia was paradise by comparison.

 

Yes I have to admit I never really understood just how oz is sold to you guys. My parents were ten pound poms and I was born here but always felt a pull to the uk. I also never understood why so many of the English run down their country. I love it!!! Maybe it's just a human thing to want more or better and thinking that lies elsewhere.... Each country is great. It's just what you prefer I guess....

[Helz980]

Just over 2 years but its not been straight forward! It's only been since nov last year that my homesickness was more than that

[Marisawright]

Hi,

 

I suppose what I am trying to ask/answer is, although I would go home now, Im still telling myself that we will/should give it 2 years....is this because we want to or because subconsciously I think we should to answer any doubters if/when we go home.....This post makes no sense!

 

It makes perfect sense. Everybody cares what others think, even though we'd like to think otherwise.

 

A wise move, if you can see yourself staying for a while, is to hang on until you get citizenship. That way you keep options open, not just for yourself but for your children.

[wattsy1982]

It makes perfect sense. Everybody cares what others think, even though we'd like to think otherwise.

 

A wise move, if you can see yourself staying for a while, is to hang on until you get citizenship. That way you keep options open, not just for yourself but for your children.

 

At the moment 4 years (min) seems a long time to gain citizenship.

 

I have been in contact with our migration agent who we used to get here and she has advised that providing we stay here for more than 2 years (even 2 years and 1 day) and then go back to UK, once our current PR visa expires in march 2018 we can apply for a Resident Return Visa (conditions state that you must have been in the country for more than 2 years of the 5) and then the RRV should be granted no problems, giving us another 5 years PR....so in theory if we stay just over 2 years we will have until 2023 to return should we then wish.

[Rachel Tilley]

My time in Oz was a bizarre mix of being desperately unhappy there, returning home and being happy, being made to return there or lose my son, returning to being desperately unhappy and then having to accept a life there (or go mad) whilst I tried to return home to the UK again with my son! During all this there was a time that I did learn to love the place and would have made a life there but then had to leave again two years later. Despite this, it still took me a good 18 months to fully re-settle in the UK and accept my life was permanently back here, but now I never look back and I'm the most settled and content I've ever been. There are moments of nostalgia and when I chat with friends and hear about places they have been that I went to it does bring back lovely memories - but they're never a bad thing are they! My son has dual nationality and flies between the UK and Oz to see his dad about every nine months and has told me he wants to move there when he's about 20 (he's 11 now). Even if he does so, I won't be moving back out there as getting a visa will be problematic for me and way out of my expense league, but England is where I belong.

 

I have two British friends who have returned to the UK from Oz in the past 12 months and both of them have found it hard to settle back here, even though they have come back by choice. The hardest thing they found to deal with was the weather here. One of them came back early December 2013 from Brisbane and was ready to return to Oz by New Year! However, they've both stuck it out and have now found good jobs, one has got her house back from the tenant, and she has said that as soon as she got her home back she felt that she was back where she belonged, the other is still struggling and may become a ping-ponger!

 

My son had PR when we left and went to and from Oz for the next few years with no problem. When his PR ran out because he'd been away too long he got a RRV with no problem whatsoever and it cost about £300. A few months after that he got Citizenship.

[Quoll]

I have several friends/acquaintances who, like me, were very long term residents - over 30 yrs, all of us. All bar 1 (and she was from Manchester - go figure) have said that they would love to return but for various reasons - money, kids, relationships mainly - they can't. Some can afford an annual visit back, others aren't able to and all are somewhat envious that we have made it back. I think we would all have appeared to the casual observer to be "real Aussies" but we've masked it well.

[caramac]

Here you are Helz. Just for you - The Tyne today at Warden (North to the right, South to the left)...

[Marisawright]

At the moment 4 years (min) seems a long time to gain citizenship.

 

I have been in contact with our migration agent who we used to get here and she has advised that providing we stay here for more than 2 years (even 2 years and 1 day) and then go back to UK, once our current PR visa expires in march 2018 we can apply for a Resident Return Visa (conditions state that you must have been in the country for more than 2 years of the 5) and then the RRV should be granted no problems, giving us another 5 years PR....so in theory if we stay just over 2 years we will have until 2023 to return should we then wish.

 

I was lucky, when I arrived it was only 2 years to get citizenship. However there was no such thing as a Resident Return Visa.

[Tom28]

If I hear "you're mad" from anyone I immediately discount their opinion, it is usually someone who has never left their home town, moans about how "lucky" I am (luck has nothing to do with it) and how crap England is, yet does nothing about it....

[wattsy1982]

if i hear "you're mad" from anyone i immediately discount their opinion, it is usually someone who has never left their home town, moans about how "lucky" i am (luck has nothing to do with it) and how crap england is, yet does nothing about it....

 

spot on!!

[Tomawa]

Hi Helz

We were asked to move to Australia just one year into an overseas posting to Kuala Lumpur, we left the UK originally for an adventure with our young family and had plans to return to the UK after our 3 year posting. We have been here 3 years now and have a mixture of Aussie and British friends. From day one everyone assumed we had emigrated here. The conversations I've had with my friends here have all been about staying, buying a house, what schools I want my kids to go to for high school and I'm finding the pressure to settle down and stay hard to deal with. People constantly saying "oh I could never go back" and putting down the UK mainly because of the "rain". I find myself defending my old life and the things I loved about living there. BUT, I do absolutely love our life here and we are having such a good time but despite that our plan is to stay for another two or three years and then go back to the UK when our kids are ready for high school. House prices are half the price back home, with a top performing government school on our doorstep and grandparents and other family a 4 hour drive away.

We will swap golden beaches for the gorgeous Scottish countryside, both equally beautiful but very different. We are going to make the most of having this amazing time here in Australia, lap up the gorgeous beaches and beautiful weather but for us it's too far away from our families, property is massively expensive and local government schools not as good to be able to call it home forever. My dream was always to travel the world and I feel so lucky to be able to spend several years in this beautiful country, looking forward to taking my kids to some of my favourite places in Europe when they get older. For me change is what makes life exciting, one chapter ends and another begins. Good luck with your adventure. Hope it all goes smoothly for you.

[Helz980]

Thanks for my pics caramac!!! You aren't helping btw lol xx

[caramac]

Thanks for my pics caramac!!! You aren't helping btw lol xx

 

 

Sorry.... :cute:

[missshelly]

Hi we have been here 7 years are citizens but are returning to the UK as we have become grandparents children still in uk

i know there will be a lot of told you so,s but I can suck it up and enjoy my family I know I am following my heart

[bunbury61]

I know for my friends & I the biggest change in our life was having our children & realising that they need grandparents & we need support. That may not be the case for everyone but all I see is Olivia in her wellies running about on my parents farm in the north Tyne valley! Not dealing with fecking sand & me worrying that some kind of nasty creature will get her (bit extreme but you catch my drift!!)

 

let me tell ya , from someone who has been living the " grandparents " dream for 20 whole years ...it isn't all wine and roses and happy days .

If my wife and myself had a bigger support network here in the u.k it may be easier .

We only have one left ( my mom ) from the original 4 .

So if you see me throw a meldrew on here from time to time , its not aimed at Australia , more to do with the fact ,we aint getting any support FROM Australia , in relation to my siblings

[bunbury61]

let me tell ya , from someone who has been living the " grandparents " dream for 20 whole years ...it isn't all wine and roses and happy days .

If my wife and myself had a bigger support network here in the u.k it may be easier .

We only have one left ( my mom ) from the original 4 .

So if you see me throw a meldrew on here from time to time , its not aimed at Australia , more to do with the fact ,we aint getting any support FROM Australia , in relation to my siblings

 

 

p.s.....One day in the not too distant future ...I will buy myself a beer , give myself a pat on the back , and move on ...job done .

it hasn't been easy

[Quoll]

p.s.....One day in the not too distant future ...I will buy myself a beer , give myself a pat on the back , and move on ...job done .

it hasn't been easy

 

Too right Bunbury! Nope it is probably one if the hardest things you'll ever do in your life and I can see why you would be totally ticked off with siblings! At least I'm an only child so it's all down to me - if I had sibs who weren't pulling their weight I would be ropeable!. I think we'll be joining you with the pint and pat on the back one day!

 

Went to Worcester the other day - seems very nice!