The decision to return is a hard one.

[Belinda Au]

Hello Everyone

 

I have just joined the forum. I hope I'm allowed to stay as I'm not a "pom in oz" as it were! Born here but parents are British.

 

I am 47. I have always returned to Britain for a short while for most years since I was 21. I have not been back for the last 8 as I had a long-term illness that prevented travel, among other things. I sometimes wonder if it can be in the genes, the "pull" to be somewhere else. Don't get me wrong. I love Australia. There are a million things to love about it but if I am to be perfectly honest, despite being born here, I never, ever felt like I "fit" here - like I belonged. I realise that's a pretty ambiguous thing to say and I wish I could explain it better but I cannot. It isn't a case of one country being better than the other - each has its considerable charms.

 

The longer I am here, the more I just don't fit in and I notice I am increasingly unhappy because of it. Would I have returned on a permanent basis before the illness? I think I might have. I've read a lot of news articles of late (that might not be the best of ideas!) and it appears that Britain is no longer the Britain I remember. No place is perfect and I know everything changes but it seems from what I've read in news reports, that it is a very unhappy place now. I would be very interested to hear from people who have been back recently or who have just returned as media does have a habit of fear-mongering!

 

I would not consider returning for another 12 months yet. I am fortunate that at the moment I'm working 2 jobs and have an opportunity to save for a return with some $$$ in hand and not have to worry at hitting the ground running, trying to find work as soon as I land. I suppose I joined because I'm interested to hear from people returning and their reasons for doing so. It's also not something I talk to anyone here about. I tried to and got shot down for being un-Australian!!!! I'm not. I just can't shake the sense I belong elsewhere.

 

Any thoughts are very much appreciated.

 

 

Thank you - Belinda

[thinker78]

Hello Everyone

 

I have just joined the forum. I hope I'm allowed to stay as I'm not a "pom in oz" as it were! Born here but parents are British.

 

I am 47. I have always returned to Britain for a short while for most years since I was 21. I have not been back for the last 8 as I had a long-term illness that prevented travel, among other things. I sometimes wonder if it can be in the genes, the "pull" to be somewhere else. Don't get me wrong. I love Australia. There are a million things to love about it but if I am to be perfectly honest, despite being born here, I never, ever felt like I "fit" here - like I belonged. I realise that's a pretty ambiguous thing to say and I wish I could explain it better but I cannot. It isn't a case of one country being better than the other - each has its considerable charms.

 

The longer I am here, the more I just don't fit in and I notice I am increasingly unhappy because of it. Would I have returned on a permanent basis before the illness? I think I might have. I've read a lot of news articles of late (that might not be the best of ideas!) and it appears that Britain is no longer the Britain I remember. No place is perfect and I know everything changes but it seems from what I've read in news reports, that it is a very unhappy place now. I would be very interested to hear from people who have been back recently or who have just returned as media does have a habit of fear-mongering!

 

I would not consider returning for another 12 months yet. I am fortunate that at the moment I'm working 2 jobs and have an opportunity to save for a return with some $$$ in hand and not have to worry at hitting the ground running, trying to find work as soon as I land. I suppose I joined because I'm interested to hear from people returning and their reasons for doing so. It's also not something I talk to anyone here about. I tried to and got shot down for being un-Australian!!!! I'm not. I just can't shake the sense I belong elsewhere.

 

Any thoughts are very much appreciated.

 

 

Thank you - Belinda

 

 

I think if you've got the money and the passport and know that it won't all be rosey, you've got nothing to lose really. The worst of the recession is over, at least it's not quite as bad as it was say 3 years ago, and the economy is slowly recovering. You're right to assume that society has chagned in 8 years, but I think that's true of anywhere. Australia has certainly altered in the 8 years i've been here. Identity is a personal thing; one of the reasons I am now returning is for a sense of cultural identity which will always evade me here. I understand australian culture, the humor, the way things work etc, how to relate to people, but overall you can't alter what or who you are. For me, at least for a while, I need to feel i belong somewhere.

But I am mainly returning for family reasons, and the couple of bouts of crippling homesickness which strikes a few times each year; can no longer live with it.

 

Go into it with eyes open; the UK isn't perfect, the winters are crap if you are a sun lover, the current society is largely divided from rich to poor, and a million other things too. however, it has a lot of good things still and if you can go with no real losses, then do so.

[soul]

hello belinda., I was born in Scotland and growing up here ,I also felt I did not belong here . I was a 10 pound Pom in 1973/1975 married in melbourne but my husband wanted to return to Scotland so we did this was the biggest mistake of my life.i have never felt I belong here in Scotland but when I was in oz it made me feel this is where I should be ( I was home ) other people I tell this story to think I am speaking rubbish I know where I belong and it is in oz and not here in Scotland. 62years of age now and I am still trying to find a way to return and live in oz just want to live my dream .

[Belinda Au]

I think if you've got the money and the passport and know that it won't all be rosey, you've got nothing to lose really. The worst of the recession is over, at least it's not quite as bad as it was say 3 years ago, and the economy is slowly recovering. You're right to assume that society has chagned in 8 years, but I think that's true of anywhere. Australia has certainly altered in the 8 years i've been here. Identity is a personal thing; one of the reasons I am now returning is for a sense of cultural identity which will always evade me here. I understand australian culture, the humor, the way things work etc, how to relate to people, but overall you can't alter what or who you are. For me, at least for a while, I need to feel i belong somewhere.

But I am mainly returning for family reasons, and the couple of bouts of crippling homesickness which strikes a few times each year; can no longer live with it.

 

Go into it with eyes open; the UK isn't perfect, the winters are crap if you are a sun lover, the current society is largely divided from rich to poor, and a million other things too. however, it has a lot of good things still and if you can go with no real losses, then do so.

 

 

Thanks for that, Thinker

 

I've got 12mths to save $$$. I'm fortunate to have that opportunity. You are absolutely correct. I live in Sydney and it's very different now to what it was 10 years ago - good and not-so-good. It's not all rosey here either so I'm not leaving with the expectation of perfection in another country. It's a pull specifically back to Britain. I've lived in a number of other countries but I just feel the need to go back. It is strange to not feel a sense of "identity" in the country i was born in. I don't know why that is. I know it's been a while since I went back, but every time I did.... I just felt like aahhh... home. Not perfect by any stretch, but home. I do understand the need to feel like you belong. I'm the same way. Right now, I'm planning to go back. And personally, I've always preferred the colder weather (every time I went back to the UK, I'd do it in the winter!!) - also looking forward to again indulging in my near-obsessive passion for history!

[Belinda Au]

hello belinda., I was born in Scotland and growing up here ,I also felt I did not belong here . I was a 10 pound Pom in 1973/1975 married in melbourne but my husband wanted to return to Scotland so we did this was the biggest mistake of my life.i have never felt I belong here in Scotland but when I was in oz it made me feel this is where I should be ( I was home ) other people I tell this story to think I am speaking rubbish I know where I belong and it is in oz and not here in Scotland. 62years of age now and I am still trying to find a way to return and live in oz just want to live my dream .

 

I really hope you find a way, Soul. I've been reading quite a few posts since joining today and it seems that a "sense of belonging" is so important to a lot of people. Where you get that doesn't matter, I think. I don't put much stock in "greatest country in the world" polls because it's all so subjective to each individual person. You fit where you fit... and that isn't necessarily where you were born. :hug:

[Katie22]

Honestly I can't see what's stopping you. You've got the money & the British passport so get on a flight and see what happens!

 

As for the British press, they always trash Britain and always will. Funnily enough I've witnessed more unpleasant incidents here in Australia than I ever did in all my years in Britain and that's also after living 10 years in London.

 

If it feels right you'll stay, if it doesn't then come back to Australia, but either way at least you'll know.

[Quoll]

I reckon there is nothing that a passport and a credit card won't cure! Lived more than half my life in Aus and never felt like I belonged but hit the ground at Heathrow and I'm home! Good luck with the adventure - if it works, you win and if it doesn't, then move on!

[annagilda]

Hey! I say go for it! I'm not quite the same as you, but I can empathise a little. I've grown up in the UK and will always love the UK. I however, don't feel English in the slightest. I've got Dutch/Irish parents. I spend a lot of time in The Netherlands, speak Dutch and have a Dutch passport. The same goes for Ireland. Speak a little Irish, spend a lot of time there and I feel Dutch and Irish. (Mad combination I know!)

 

I've never quite felt like I belong here in the UK for good at least. I am seen as that Dutch girl by others, (which I don't mind) I think I understand that feeling you have.

 

However, I would say, however English you feel in Australia, be prepared to be seen as an ozzie when you arrive in England. Here in the UK I am seen as Dutch, but when I go home to Holland, I am seen as English haha.

 

Other than that, come home, give it a go! Enjoy yourself, there is no reason why you shouldn't. Also the media like to portray a pretty negative picture. Sure we're still having a few issues from the recession but things are looking brighter for sure. :-) x

[Belinda Au]

Thanks Katie / Quoll

 

You're both right. Nothing really stopping me. Not married, don't have kids, all my choice. I've always had two passports so that's not an issue. I did temp work for all of my 20s and half my 30s so again, it was easy to leave and travel and then come back and work. I think since the illness (which culminated in a brain surgery about 8 months ago) I've gotten into a habit of dithering in my decision-making because there were just so many things I couldn't do because of it. I'd like to work another 12 months here - two jobs, which I am lucky to have, will allow me to save and give me some breathing space once I get there. I may even go over in 6 months to check a few things out given I have not been there in a while. Would save me any potential shocks I suppose! Always have the option of returning so there's not a lot of reasons to not give it a go, eh?

[Belinda Au]

Hey! I say go for it! I'm not quite the same as you, but I can empathise a little. I've grown up in the UK and will always love the UK. I however, don't feel English in the slightest. I've got Dutch/Irish parents. I spend a lot of time in The Netherlands, speak Dutch and have a Dutch passport. The same goes for Ireland. Speak a little Irish, spend a lot of time there and I feel Dutch and Irish. (Mad combination I know!)

 

I've never quite felt like I belong here in the UK for good at least. I am seen as that Dutch girl by others, (which I don't mind) I think I understand that feeling you have.

 

However, I would say, however English you feel in Australia, be prepared to be seen as an ozzie when you arrive in England. Here in the UK I am seen as Dutch, but when I go home to Holland, I am seen as English haha.

 

Other than that, come home, give it a go! Enjoy yourself, there is no reason why you shouldn't. Also the media like to portray a pretty negative picture. Sure we're still having a few issues from the recession but things are looking brighter for sure. :-) x

 

 

Hi Anna - Oh I have been to Britain a good 15 or 16 times so far - believe me, I've heard every penal colony joke ever invented!!! In my experience, the aussies and brits can torment each other mercilessly but generally it's all in good fun. It's funny because here, I'm teased because I don't have much of an "australian" accent!! Similar to you!

 

Maybe it is just my age now... when I was younger, I would think nothing of leaving work and uprooting myself for another adventure. Not really sure what's changed and why deciding is more laboured. So much has happened in the last ten years that a well-considered risk seems more appealing than just a risk! I'm also financially better off here than I would be there, I know that. I won't deny I like being able to earn more here... but what price a sense of belonging, huh?

 

I find it funny how australia appears to be portrayed over there - like a paradise to cure all ills!!! It is lovely here to be sure... but we have our problems too.

 

12 more months working and saving - that's not so long!

[Aunt Agatha]

Just wanted to answer your question about the UK being an unhappy place as someone who visited recently (Aug to Sept last year). Obviously we were visiting in Summer when everything is generally more cheerful (though in the North East and the North West we didn't exactly experience balmy summer days) but it did not strike me as an unhappy place at all. None of our friends were out of work, everyone (the friends we caught up with I mean) had had a holiday recently - some in the UK, some abroad - they were enjoying their lives with their young families and none of them uttered the infamous "you're so lucky" line about us living in Oz. They turned up in nice cars, wearing nice clothes with well fed children ;-D They are happy with their lives. I do believe there is a growing gap between the haves and the have nots but the newspapers were saying the same thing in the 1980s so perhaps it is cyclical. I'm not a fan of the current UK government (almost as bad as the current Aussie one) but hopefully that will change at the next election.

 

Some of the people who complain about changes to the UK are referring to immigration so you can mostly write their opinions off as being based on racism/bigotry. People do complain about the weather, it's a British pastime after all but really it's a temperate climate in the Northern hemisphere - there are no real surprises!

 

I think you're in a great position to give it a go and as someone who shares your passion for history I can promise you you're going to love having regular access to all the amazing places in the UK just oozing with the stuff. Romans in Northumberland, Vikings in York, Tudors in London - the list goes on and on and there is also Scotland, Wales and Ireland within easy reach too, not to mention Europe. You're going to be exhausted! LOL.

[Chortlepuss]

I'll second Aunt Agatha's views. Spent 5 months (this time last year till Sept) in UK and had an incredible time. I do know I was really lucky with the weather! People were working hard, public services were starting to get a hammering but those working (I didn't know anyone out of a job) were living well. A few comments about country 'going to the dogs' from my sis between her trips on long haul holidays, concerts, festivals and European mini-breaks. Just couldn't find any evidence of it, although not impressed with Government using foodbanks as part of strategy for dealing with poverty caused by austerity cuts plus their stance on taxation on the super rich. I did clothes shop till I dropped - quality and cost were great and so much choice!

I went on trips to Edinburgh, Prague and Greece whilst I was there - rude not too with travel being such a bargain and all so close. Did a short contract (local shortage of applicants due to skilled people all working) - Saved my bacon at a time when I couldn't get any work in Brisbane as I could send money home. Improved my confidence and mental well being - Just being around familiar places and having support of family and friends. I'll stop now as I would get on the plane tonight if it was just me, but need to stay a while later. I hope the predicted hot summer happens for you!

[Belinda Au]

Just wanted to answer your question about the UK being an unhappy place as someone who visited recently (Aug to Sept last year). Obviously we were visiting in Summer when everything is generally more cheerful (though in the North East and the North West we didn't exactly experience balmy summer days) but it did not strike me as an unhappy place at all. None of our friends were out of work, everyone (the friends we caught up with I mean) had had a holiday recently - some in the UK, some abroad - they were enjoying their lives with their young families and none of them uttered the infamous "you're so lucky" line about us living in Oz. They turned up in nice cars, wearing nice clothes with well fed children ;-D They are happy with their lives. I do believe there is a growing gap between the haves and the have nots but the newspapers were saying the same thing in the 1980s so perhaps it is cyclical. I'm not a fan of the current UK government (almost as bad as the current Aussie one) but hopefully that will change at the next election.

 

Some of the people who complain about changes to the UK are referring to immigration so you can mostly write their opinions off as being based on racism/bigotry. People do complain about the weather, it's a British pastime after all but really it's a temperate climate in the Northern hemisphere - there are no real surprises!

 

I think you're in a great position to give it a go and as someone who shares your passion for history I can promise you you're going to love having regular access to all the amazing places in the UK just oozing with the stuff. Romans in Northumberland, Vikings in York, Tudors in London - the list goes on and on and there is also Scotland, Wales and Ireland within easy reach too, not to mention Europe. You're going to be exhausted! LOL.

 

Thanks for that, Agatha. Must be the usual media fear-mongering. That's the same everywhere it would seem. I do consider myself very lucky to live here. I suppose that's the hard part of the decision. I live right in the middle of a university town. Where I am, literally everything I need is across the street - very fortunate. I had been reading so many angry posts (not on here) from people who are so upset at the current government that I worried it was terrible everywhere. All governments everywhere (including here) have their self-interested and corrupt types, not to mention red tape that makes you want to hear your hair out!!!

 

I love my Australia but have never had a sense that I "fit". That isn't the fault of any country - it can't be! Sometimes your sense of "home" is somewhere else and you need to go and meet it. Every place has its good and its frustrating aspects. I'm good at working around frustrating... no matter where I happen to be.

 

I tell you though, the prospect of indulging my history and antiquing passions.... well it just has me TOO excited!

[Belinda Au]

I'll second Aunt Agatha's views. Spent 5 months (this time last year till Sept) in UK and had an incredible time. I do know I was really lucky with the weather! People were working hard, public services were starting to get a hammering but those working (I didn't know anyone out of a job) were living well. A few comments about country 'going to the dogs' from my sis between her trips on long haul holidays, concerts, festivals and European mini-breaks. Just couldn't find any evidence of it, although not impressed with Government using foodbanks as part of strategy for dealing with poverty caused by austerity cuts plus their stance on taxation on the super rich. I did clothes shop till I dropped - quality and cost were great and so much choice!

I went on trips to Edinburgh, Prague and Greece whilst I was there - rude not too with travel being such a bargain and all so close. Did a short contract (local shortage of applicants due to skilled people all working) - Saved my bacon at a time when I couldn't get any work in Brisbane as I could send money home. Improved my confidence and mental well being - Just being around familiar places and having support of family and friends. I'll stop now as I would get on the plane tonight if it was just me, but need to stay a while later. I hope the predicted hot summer happens for you!

 

Thanks Chortlepuss - LOL @ your sister! That's funny. It may well be going to the dogs in some places... many countries could say the same thing I guess. I love Sydney. Always will. But my sense of "home" is elsewhere.... anything else I manage on top of that is just a bonus as far as I'm concerned. Well, time to go the night job. Transcribing police interviews.... shudder!

[Aunt Agatha]

Wow, transcribing police interviews would be fascinating and repellent in equal measure I would imagine!

 

I forgot to say that I am moving back to the UK after 10 happy years in Australia so I know what you mean. So much to be thankful for but the heart wants what it wants...

[Belinda Au]

Wow, transcribing police interviews would be fascinating and repellent in equal measure I would imagine!

 

I forgot to say that I am moving back to the UK after 10 happy years in Australia so I know what you mean. So much to be thankful for but the heart wants what it wants...

 

I work with a great bunch of girls on the shift... and you're right... sometimes it's heartbreaking and sometimes I just sit there and laugh my head off as I type! You're right though. I will miss this place like mad. Not all of it but certainly most of it. But I need to be home too. It's just nice to go because of that and not because you dislike a place. That's not the case for me and doesn't seem to be for you either. I'm glad.

[Gbye grey sky]

If you are into history make sure you join English Heritage as you can access hundreds of castles and ancient sites for the price of membership and The National Trust which is mainly stately homes and gardens. Both are great value.

 

Make sure you look at exchange rates if you are waiting a year. Most forecasters are predicting the UKP will improve over the next year or two as interest rates in the UK inevitably have to rise. This may not happen of course but the exchange rate, though not as good for AUD as it was a year ago is still very good historically. Might be worth moving savings to the UK ahead of any move as a hedge against significant movement.

 

The UK has a great deal to offer. I have spent my life in the UK and am planning an adventure in Australia however I have no time really for people who say the country is going to the dogs. Those same type of people have been saying the same thing since time immemorial. And if you like the colder weather, and I know many who do, then you will be happier in the UK than Oz.

[Marisawright]

hello belinda., I was born in Scotland and growing up here ,I also felt I did not belong here . I was a 10 pound Pom in 1973/1975 married in melbourne but my husband wanted to return to Scotland so we did this was the biggest mistake of my life.i have never felt I belong here in Scotland but when I was in oz it made me feel this is where I should be ( I was home ) other people I tell this story to think I am speaking rubbish I know where I belong and it is in oz and not here in Scotland. 62years of age now and I am still trying to find a way to return and live in oz just want to live my dream .

 

You sound like a kindred spirit! I was also born in Aberdeen and grew up feeling like a fish out of water, even though I never lived anywhere else until I was 19. I was much happier in England, but married a Scot and returned. When we came to Sydney I felt as though I'd come home, and I've been here 30 years now. However, if it's any comfort, I'm feeling much less at home now. Like all countries, Australia has changed in that time and so have I - I'm no longer such a fan of the hot weather, and the lively atmosphere has turned frenetic.

[Belinda Au]

Wow, transcribing police interviews would be fascinating and repellent in equal measure I would imagine!

 

I forgot to say that I am moving back to the UK after 10 happy years in Australia so I know what you mean. So much to be thankful for but the heart wants what it wants...

 

back from shift.... well tonight's interviews were laugh-out-loud funny. unintentionally so! a good start to the week, Agatha. I noticed when I left for work earlier tonight, I walked along the street imagining I was leaving soon and felt really sad. This is when the decision to go is hard. But then I think of the UK (and it's definitely the countryside for me) and all that history and antiquing and that history and also that history!!! and I'm happy.

[Aunt Agatha]

It is hard Belinda, I burst into tears on Sunday at the thought of leaving my Aussie friends! But like you I try and focus on the exciting adventure ahead.

 

Glad you had a laugh at work, I'd love to read some of the less serious interviews, I can imagine there are some "interesting" people through the police station doors..

[Belinda Au]

It is hard Belinda, I burst into tears on Sunday at the thought of leaving my Aussie friends! But like you I try and focus on the exciting adventure ahead.

 

Glad you had a laugh at work, I'd love to read some of the less serious interviews, I can imagine there are some "interesting" people through the police station doors..

 

There are some real shockers. We refer to it as "boom industry" which is quite sad. But usually with the ones who are drunk or drug-affected... it's almost as funny watching the reactions of police. What a job!

 

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has a cry (and I'm not going for another year yet!) but there's no problem coming back if I want to - it's lovely to have the option. I tell myself that when I get a bit emotional.

One could do worse than having options, right?

[Belinda Au]

If you are into history make sure you join English Heritage as you can access hundreds of castles and ancient sites for the price of membership and The National Trust which is mainly stately homes and gardens. Both are great value.

 

Make sure you look at exchange rates if you are waiting a year. Most forecasters are predicting the UKP will improve over the next year or two as interest rates in the UK inevitably have to rise. This may not happen of course but the exchange rate, though not as good for AUD as it was a year ago is still very good historically. Might be worth moving savings to the UK ahead of any move as a hedge against significant movement.

 

The UK has a great deal to offer. I have spent my life in the UK and am planning an adventure in Australia however I have no time really for people who say the country is going to the dogs. Those same type of people have been saying the same thing since time immemorial. And if you like the colder weather, and I know many who do, then you will be happier in the UK than Oz.

 

Thanks Gbye! I did not know about English Heritage - what a great tip! I'm glad you say that the UK has a lot to offer. I think so too.

I never did understand why what's on offer isn't marketed more (well more than I see anyway). Sun and beaches are brilliant - but they're not everything. Everywhere has something wonderful on offer.

[Aunt Agatha]

There are some real shockers. We refer to it as "boom industry" which is quite sad. But usually with the ones who are drunk or drug-affected... it's almost as funny watching the reactions of police. What a job!

 

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has a cry (and I'm not going for another year yet!) but there's no problem coming back if I want to - it's lovely to have the option. I tell myself that when I get a bit emotional.

One could do worse than having options, right?

 

Absolutely! We have citizenship so can return too (though I think it may be prohibitively expensive to move our family again). We are definitely in a lucky position.

[Tomawa]

I think it's worth remembering that the UK is so diverse, people's opinions vary and so do the places. For example living in Birmingham would be very different to living in Cornwall or North Wales to London. In my opinion if you go back and work hard at building a new life then things will work out just fine. Be prepared for a few tears and regrets within the first 6 months but know that that is part of the process of settling in somewhere new and not anything more. Be the first to get yourself out there, we lived in a very conservative street where the neighbours never talked so we decided to invite the whole street for mince pies and mulled wine at Christmas. That night started many new friendships between neighbours and really broke the ice. I'm not normally that confident but when you're new you have to try that bit harder to make connections with people. We moved to the US then back to England, up to Scotland over to Malaysia and are now in Australia. We plan to settle back in the UK when we are done! Expect it to take over a year before you feel settled.