Phil & Vikki Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 After the recent family troubles, we have spoken to our kids about either staying in Australia or going back to the UK. We said that this was just pie in the sky ideas at the moment, but wanted to get their thoughts on it all. We asked our son if he would like to go back to the UK and he said yes without any hesitation. We said to him that it would mean leaving all of his friends behind and having to making new ones back in the UK. To which he replied that it did not matter about the friends he had made as family was the most important thing. Sometimes it takes the innocence of youth to cut through it all to come up with the real answer, the only one that matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 I know you've been through something similar to us. It's a shame it takes a tragedy like the death of a close relative to make you realise what is important (I know this certainly prompted us to reassess). Wish we could all figure it out without so much heartache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 It's interesting that your kids see that family is the key! Both of my, now adult, sons have commented independently on their regrets at growing up in such an isolated little unit. They both said that their childhoods were happy but both, having partnered with girls from monster extended family locally, say they wish we had been closer to extended family. Both are lovely lads but a little too selfish and self sufficient perhaps as a result. It was our decision to go where we did - being a mixed marriage it was more equitable if we weren't in the pockets of either family but I can see that if we both came from the same area it would have been much easier to have extended families around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Sorry to hear of your troubles, hope things are improving for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen85 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 Your son sounds very in tune! Good for you that he puts family as the most important thing to him. I think we know it when we are young but somewhere along the line its gets forgotten we get caught up in our own worlds, bless him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjg Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 It's interesting that your kids see that family is the key! Both of my, now adult, sons have commented independently on their regrets at growing up in such an isolated little unit. They both said that their childhoods were happy but both, having partnered with girls from monster extended family locally, say they wish we had been closer to extended family. Both are lovely lads but a little too selfish and self sufficient perhaps as a result. It was our decision to go where we did - being a mixed marriage it was more equitable if we weren't in the pockets of either family but I can see that if we both came from the same area it would have been much easier to have extended families around. For once, from me, not an opinion. Rather a related question. The ohs family in the uk is tiny. Her parents, granny, two brothers. Both single, childless, brothers work anywhere from Sudan to Chile. My family in Australia is huge. The kids have 7 cousins they see every few months. Christmas and occasional extended family events on my fathers side see everyone from great grandparents down (upto 40 of us) congregate in one place. What will my kids think of our choice to immigrate to Australia instead if staying in England when they both reach 20? (Both are under 6 now and we have been here 4 years) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 For once, from me, not an opinion. Rather a related question. The ohs family in the uk is tiny. Her parents, granny, two brothers. Both single, childless, brothers work anywhere from Sudan to Chile. My family in Australia is huge. The kids have 7 cousins they see every few months. Christmas and occasional extended family events on my fathers side see everyone from great grandparents down (upto 40 of us) congregate in one place. What will my kids think of our choice to immigrate to Australia instead if staying in England when they both reach 20? (Both are under 6 now and we have been here 4 years) My family in UK was small (just my dad as my brother lives in QLD), my hubby's family are larger but we didn't really spend a lot of time with them, and my children didn't spend a lot of time with their cousins but more the children of friends. My Children might in later life wish they were closer to extended family, but the reality is that they never were and it wasn't because we migrated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 For once, from me, not an opinion. Rather a related question. The ohs family in the uk is tiny. Her parents, granny, two brothers. Both single, childless, brothers work anywhere from Sudan to Chile. My family in Australia is huge. The kids have 7 cousins they see every few months. Christmas and occasional extended family events on my fathers side see everyone from great grandparents down (upto 40 of us) congregate in one place. What will my kids think of our choice to immigrate to Australia instead if staying in England when they both reach 20? (Both are under 6 now and we have been here 4 years) No idea, we also have a very small family - on both sides - and my boys say they wished we had been more connected with them. I guess if we had been more connected they might've said why did we spend so much time with the family? You never know really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I take it that your children have probably heard you discussing this and in my experience children tell us what we want to hear not what they really want as they want to have a happy life and no discord whatsoever. Even when home life is anything but ideal children never want to leave it. The words just seem very adult to me. However I am not saying you should not go or that you should stay, you have to do what is best for you and your family. If you return and for some reason things went pear shaped it would just be harder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flatpack Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 A big family is not all it's cracked up to to be, OH is an only child with no cousins! I on the other hand have around 40 cousins and between them I'd guess at neigh on a hundred kids. It's very disjointed though, certain parts almost fueding with others, fractious divorces (my own mother and father included). My father raised 3 kids but most of my mothers immediately family have treat us with disdain since being very young and kids pick up on this. Get me out to Oz and leave them here fratching amongst themselves, we'll build a small but harmonious family unit in the warm Perth sunshine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I take it that your children have probably heard you discussing this and in my experience children tell us what we want to hear not what they really want as they want to have a happy life and no discord whatsoever. Even when home life is anything but ideal children never want to leave it. The words just seem very adult to me. However I am not saying you should not go or that you should stay, you have to do what is best for you and your family. If you return and for some reason things went pear shaped it would just be harder. This. I am sure the child was just repeating what he has picked up from you. Although I am not questioning the validity of the statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil & Vikki Posted October 9, 2013 Author Share Posted October 9, 2013 I take it that your children have probably heard you discussing this and in my experience children tell us what we want to hear not what they really want as they want to have a happy life and no discord whatsoever. Even when home life is anything but ideal children never want to leave it. The words just seem very adult to me. However I am not saying you should not go or that you should stay, you have to do what is best for you and your family. If you return and for some reason things went pear shaped it would just be harder. This. I am sure the child was just repeating what he has picked up from you. Although I am not questioning the validity of the statement. Or we could simply put a curve ball out there and say that it is because they know their grandparents will spoil them rotten and buy them all the things that we will not or cannot for whatever reason? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmab1995 Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 That could be true phil & vikki .... we are a family of 5 our kids are now 18 ,16 , and 12 we moved over here when they were 11, 8 and nearly 5 .... we have loved living here been here 7 1/2 yrs ,but we to are talking about going back to the uk well we have decided to go back in 2 yrs we need to save first ..... our youngest 2 want to go back the pull of family is very great for us and them but our eldest wants to stay here because of his friends but only time will tell ...... Family is the big thing for us , having them around you is one of the most important things and yes i know some of you will think well why did you come here , but we came we gave it a go and yes we did love it we still do ....... But our curve ball was i got cancer ...(in remission now ) and it just made us stop and think what if the worst had happened , scott would have had no one to help him with the kids (he works away ) .... I know all is ok now but it hit us like a truck its amazing what you take for granted until one day something happens just to make you realise ...... I saw a lovely quote the other day ..... FAMILY.... like branches on a tree, we all grow in different directions yet our roots remain as one . Love it ..... Also my daughters words look at the last 3 letters of family ....I LOVE YOU and they always will thats what she said to me god love her...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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