Sunshine111

Good luck to you Scarlett. Trust your gut feeling. We did, reading your post reminds me of how we felt, so many things not right. In some ways that makes it easier re decision. (head & heart knew it wasnt right for us, but so hard when everyone around you is telling you, you are mad for going back to the UK, it has nothing to offer etc) When you have kids you want to do what is best for them, so we felt we were really against the grain. This time last year read very few posts unlike now of people feeling the same way. I really struggled with early childhood & what was available for the 3-5 yr old stage & since being back & seeing what the UK has to offer I am so relieved our 2nd child is not going to experience what our 1st did with the daycare/early childhood system. My son was 4.5 yrs& sticking pasta shells on pieces of paper, was bored to tears & the daycare worker said to me, that really daycare was for up to 3 yrs. (thankfully I was working at night, so he only had to go once or twice a day 9-3pm, cant imagine what full time there would have done!) I believe they are slowly changing that, but in my opinion is nothing like the fabulous early childhood system here in the UK. I have been fortunate enough to have a comparision, like I say, have seen enough to decide we didnt want our 2nd son going through that. I was sooooo frustrated towards the end, because he was a July birthday he was not going to be starting full time school until he was 5 & 1/2 yrs, yet bright & very social. Anyway, we are home 9 mths now. Whole family is benefitting & we just seem to have slotted into life here very easily, like it is meant to be. We have moved to a new area & had to make new friends because we have been away 10 yrs, so not saying its been easy, but just feels right. My eldest said to me a couple of weeks ago, Mummy I have more friends here than I did in Oz, sad but true. He just seems to have met so many kids that he gets on well with here, loads of playdates etc unfortuately didnt get that in Perth was the odd one here & there he connected with. Anyway, just to wish you well with your next journey. Go with what feels right.

Brilliant! lurve this post. Trouble is, had to go away for 10 yrs to return to fully appreciate what we have in this country. Still thanking my lucky stars for being back!

ha! brilliant. made me laugh too.

Hello neighbour! you are absolutely right about the countryside & coast. Am glad of the internet to be honest, did so much research before we returned & maybe would never had known how fab this part of the country is! We are all benefiting. Especially the kids. My eldest has made friends very easily & just slots in so well. Bizarre because didnt get that same click & he was born over there. Funny peoples perceptions, so great to actually feel part of something (community-wise) we dont have family in the area either they are all townies! Dont feel like an island like we did in the Perth hills. So many events on with the Jubliee. Great time of year to be back & apparently a nice bit of sun this week too. Rumour has it, it's going to be 70c on Wednesday (now that is my kind of heat, nothing too crazy!)

I think there are varying levels of homesickness. I was away 12 yrs & also had homesickness at various stages, in that time. I'm afraid homesickness is inevitable. The trick is to try & work through the first wave of it, whenever it comes! Otherwise, like you have experienced you find yourself feeling that you didnt give it enough of a shot & that causes unrest & unfinished business so to speak. Some can go home & pick up their old life, so can't. When you embark on such a life changes experiences as emmigration, you are not the same person so by returning to the old life you can be like fitting a round peg in a square hole. We have successfully returned to the UK after 12 yrs (lived IN Oz & Nz) but to a completely new area whilst acknowledging we are different people & with a new appreciation of the UK. Had a fab time in Oz but to be honest, felt that we had done it towards the end & also didnt just return because of homesickness but many other reasons too, inc work/school etc. As a family we were not benefiting. Like I say great adventure good luck to you, just factor in your pain-threshold re getting your "UK fix" You may not feel like that now, but I found mine was 3 yrs, so long as we were back around that mark I had my dose & was fine. Once we had both kids & could no longer afford to do that, is when I started to feel trapped but as it happens coincided with a bag of stuff that made us realise we didnt want to be where we were in Perth long term.

Agree completely, especially the highlighted. If you have family there or you have your own big family & are self sufficient, maybe works well in Perth? if not, I wonder as a newbie you really have to tap into the expat network, find other people in the same boat whether that be people from UK or interstate Aussies. Perhaps even create their own community rather than find one to belong too! (but open up to all rather than create it in an insular way) Which goes against the Brit way, where we feel we have to do it on our own & avoid our fellowman like the plague! One things for sure a different tact is needed from a social perspective otherwise I believe it can lead to social isolation. Have travelled/lived in other parts of Oz & not experienced it & lived in Nz & again never had any issues. Great to be able to have a choice re countries. Good luck with your next adventure!

Do you have any unfinished business there so to speak? or are you happy with the way things have turned out? Only reason I ask is, that for us (hubby & I) it is complete, there is no "what if we had of done that" or "what if we had of done this," so have closure & acceptance. (thankfully!) Your son is at a fabulous age to go for an adventure, not sure as many Brits do it as Aussies & Kiwis but they should. When I was in Nz so many youngsters left for London to go on their "OE" (0verseas experience) was very much part of life's experiences. What was great about it I noticed was, those that returned had a new appreciation for their homeland. (something I can truely relate too now, never been so patriotic as I am now!) Re; hubby, might be worth delving further, what's making him unsettled? is it the area you live? or is it that he feels you didnt give it enough? is it the travel bug? what did he enjoy about Oz that could be replicated in this part of the world? Does he need something to get his teeth into/a goal? # I think when you embark on the emmigration process to Oz/Nz etc it really is something to "get your teeth stuck into" but when you return to UK, really can create a "what now?" & a bit of a life contemplation, without something to work towards... I know we will always have a connection with Oz, both kids were born there, (will encourage them to go see where they were born & see Oz) but glad to be home because I feel when they do go out explore & spread their wings, they will also have a fab base & firm roots to return back too.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head there. Also have to add, we were a couple with kids & we couldnt crack the social code either! Is it because its spreadout? is it because a high proportion of the people there just want to keep themselves to themselves? or do they not know how to start with a bit of polite banter?! (which I experience in every day life in the UK more often than not!) is it a fairly transient place & not enough established communities? Is it mining folk? wonder what it is?!! We have friends that had been out there 40 yrs & in their late 60's & when we first met them (out dog walking!) they often talked less than fondly of the locals & initially we didnt get it, fast forward a couple of years & then we started too!

Too true! is reassuring to not be the only one & know what you mean, met lots of people but nothing that really stuck. Tended to be at various stages & for a reason... e.g. work. Have friends that I used to work with in the UK 15 yrs ago, & still in contact with. Not in contact with anyone I used to work with over there & until maternity leave, worked there for 2 yrs! Was almost like you werent working there anymore, so the "common ground" stopped! as did contact! Was alot of "keeping yourself to yourself" which I think is what I struggled with. I too have never known loneliness & detachment from things around you, like that, was quite scary! Just glad we were able to do something about it. Wonder how many people get stuck & can't & end up in a limbo land... really feel for them too. Without a doubt, the experience has made me re-evaluate what is important & the new appreciation for Uk is a great thing. Think it has taken going away to full appreciate it. We are in West Sussex & lurving it. Where bouts are you? Sounds like you have settled nicely too. great feeling isnt it?!

Really can relate to your post Buttercup, absolutely agree re the self education experience, wouldnt have changed it for the world but somehow especially in those last couple of years in Perth I felt like I lost myself some how too, started to be insular & less of the outgoing person I was... Took me a bit of time to get into the swing of things on arriving back in the UK, making friends etc, all the things that used to come naturally, seemed to be a bit rusty. Still sooo relieved to be back & actually starting to get my ole' self back too! Have to say have found it much easier making friends here in this little neck of the woods, where we are in the UK too & finding people on a similar wavelength. Conversations flow better, bit more 50/50 in the effort stakes. Polite banter etc... ! Perth to me, was a really hard place to make friends compared to other places I have lived. Read a post earlier someone saying NOR was a lonely place & funny enough I have a friend NOR who says the same, she has 4 kids & just struggles to meet similar mums. Yet friends south of Perth although didnt settle too well in the first couple of years have now settled but then they have extended family nearby & I think that helps plus they are mostly surrounded by expats.

just to say, know exactly how you feel, I was exactly the same, especially from the time we sold our house to actual completion. Longest 10 wks of my life! Be rest assured it passes & the feeling of getting on that plane at the airport & especially the one when you step foot on home soil utterly ways it out. Good luck & a fab time of year to come home! On to your next chapter. Exciting times ahead for you!

Seen many quotes on here from Quoll & have to say many I related too, ESPECIALLY when we were looking at what seemed like the biggest scariest move back to the UK, whilst still in Oz. I took great comfort in knowing I was not alone. I suspect it was not the work/life balance that caused the stress/health issues but the trapped/disconnection/detachment from the place that created that. No matter how much "getting timeout & doing the outdoor stuff there" gets rid of that empty/hollow feeling, I know I tried it! It is great that you have discovered Oz is the place for you but shoe on the other foot, imagine how you would feel knowing you had to stay in the UK for the rest of your life, when your heart was really in Oz. Is the same thing but in reverse! Don't wish that horrible detached/isolated/empty feeling on anyone. I say go where ever your heart says....

lot to be said for when you arrive & those first impressions from getting off at Heathrow...! We arrived back in August, last time we were back it was December 3 yrs prior & everything seemed so bleak & grey but arriving back in summer even Heathrow airport didnt look half bad! Think those first few images helped us get through our first winter to be honest! Amazed how green everything was. Beautiful countryside. People friendly, good customer service, starting with the car hire! Just felt utter relief & a connection, like we really had come home. How much better it all was compared to my thoughts before we left 12 yrs ago (seemed to be a bit more proud to be british going on!) I when I left, was really was down on the UK & funny enough the last visit we went on 3 yrs prior to returning to UK with an 18 mth old, was cold, bleak & full on chasing family around the country trying to catch up with people. Couldnt wait to get back to Perth!# how tired my sons new school looked after having such an outstanding ofsted report! (since has had all new windows & doors in & now looking very shiny thankfully!) how many different members of the community intergenerationally were involved. e.g. retirees going into read to the younger children. Amazed that for a village school it had an outdoor swimming pool (something that i was surprised more Perth schools didnt have) how friendly, warm & welcoming other parents were & actually wanting to know something about you & when you'd come how friendly, outgoing, polite & caring the kids are in our local village school. Older ones looking after younger ones. How great a discipline structure they have in place. No kids running riot! pheasants, how many?! how funny it was watchin our dog who had never seen a cornfield jumping in & out of it, like a giddy school kid! NHS, cldnt get my head around not paying for anything or that the kids were free! Receptionist I think thought i was odd cause I hung around thinking I had to pay her something after seeing the doc! how quickly my hubby found work fantastic early childhood system & with a good flow. My 2 yr old does x2 mornings at preschool which is on the school site (what a great idea that is, so big school isnt so daunting) that things arent really that bad! life goes on & people really just get on with things. People still working, paying the mortgage & even going on holiday how many amazing gardens/plants etc there are & how great it is, seeing things grow! playgrounds - got loads of different ones in our area, all with different play equipment, so we alternate going to each suburbs with their own leisure centres (maybe that is a semi rural thing) how cheap it is food-wise - great to be buying more than one banana a week! how much British grown produce there is in the supermarkets (one thing I lurved about Oz ,12 yrs ago & noticed was how everything was made there & proudly so) how polite & courteous drivers are on the roads how many free things there are to do how you can find a cheap holiday for a young family x1 income, how great it is to be going on a long weekend caravan holiday for 9.50 per person courtsey of the sun (only bought it for the tokens!) first holiday we have had away as a family! how near everything is how much less swearing there is on the radios in the mornings. (compared to some in Perth) more so for the school run how great the good ole' British banter is, how you can chat to a complete stranger in a supermarket about nothing & how these same strangers make a right big fuss of your kids & help you out with entertaining them, whilst you are doing the best of britsh & standing in a queue! On a negative... how many cars parked outside peoples houses or on stree verges! although cheaper, surprised how less fresh fruit & veg is (tho' trick is farmers markets & buying things in season. If you're going to buy your strawberries from Spain then by the time you get hold of' em you got to expect them to be on the turn the next day! Ray of optimism yesterday when I see the first punnet out of Hampshire! what the benefit system has created but seems no different to when I left, still alot needing a good kick up the backside but lks like the government is starting to do something about it. Surprised how much they want to chuck money at you - x2 letters wanting to give us food vouchers for fresh fruit & veg because we were classed as low income earners (due to tax year & when we arrived) Too much spoon feeding, people need to take responsibility for their own lives. Nearly wrote back & told them to put it against the country's debt! how much people moan about the Olympics & how its going to affect them with traffic in their area! (not like oz or nz who would be overmoon to be hosting such a big event) how dysfunctional my family really is! - that was the rose tinted bit. My biggest hurdle is how out of sync I am with my family. (tho they are complicated & divorced) When you leave for that long period (12 yrs in our case) family dynamics change. Hardest part is how well they accept you back into the fold & how you find that common ground. It is like a bunch of strangers for me in someway, some want to make the effort to get to know you again, some do not. For me I am working out how to manage them, not get effected by them whilst creating some benefit for the kids. The biggest lesson of all, life goes on..... First 6 mths are tough, with adjusting (same said of any big move) but just got to have a plan, do it day by day...... because it starts getting easier, kids settle, suddenly you've made a few friends & get invited out socially, start seeing houses that you see yourself in & thinking about that next holiday & on it goes......

Crimsonpetal, trust your gutfeeling. If you're not ready to return, don't & especially not for extended family, got to do it for you & your family. You will know when or if the time is right. Good luck with everything. x

So am I, so with you on that! We've got the opposite cabin fever from too much sun! Interestingly alot of people have said it is very unsual for this time of year. Still least there are lots of indoor things/places to go.

Reminds me of the Removals guy that picked up our stuff from Perth. Was a 10 pound pom, lived there 30 yrs, kids had left Perth gone to Queensland (eldest son in the army & stationed there) & other in Victoria. Kept saying to us "great country, never turn your back, never turn your back!" (whilst rocking back & forth... only kidding!) true story. Hubby & I laughed & was our catch phrase all the way home....!!

maryrose, I have lived & travelled around Oz & Nz over 10 yr period so have lots of comparisions. Lurved Sydney as a 20 something backpacker, in someways probably we should have gone back there but instead lived in Nz & then moved to Perth as had friends from uk moving there & although enjoyed nz didnt want to be there long term & actually missed some of our country folk & fellow brits so choose perth because of the higher concentration of brits! interestingly, we never did surround ourself with fellow brits but local perth-ites (if that is the right word) & lived an hour from those friends I mentioned so literally started out on our own. Perth is a very far removed place, not just in locality but in attitudes. Hard to explain unless you have lived somewhere else & until you have lived there. I found it quite refreshing at first but after while it got quite frustrating!

I dont think you can. I did the same as you before we returned (were away 10 yrs living in Nz & Aus) I went through every forum I could to try & get reassurance myself that returning to the UK was the right thing to do. this time last year when we were looking at going back, I seemed to find very few that had a positive outcome for returning. I had various levels of homesickness during the time we away & about a 3 yr pain threshold where I would need to get a UK fix. So over a 10yr period we went back x3 times - roughly every 3 yrs & that was enough to get our fix so to speak! After we had our 2nd baby we realised that wasnt financiallly possible & that is when I started to feel a bit trapped. That was when I think we as a family started looking at whether it was the right place for us & the cracks started to appear. You are already insome ways on the back foot, by EVEN considering returning to the UK.... It is like going against the grain! You ask a fellow Brit (complete stranger too) Oz or Uk & they will say Oz all the time! doenst mean it is right for you or your family. Just got to trust your gut feeling. Do you think you just need a UK fix? when was the last time you were back? & do you know your pain threshold so to speak?! What do you want in the next 2, 5, 10 yrs? why did you leave the uk? It was when we thought about it & realised we didnt want to be there long term that we realised we had to act, before it got complicated with our kids getting older. Ours was quite straightforward in terms of returning. Wasnt just homesickness but none of us as a family were benefiting from being there for lots of different reasons & that was after 5 yrs! It isnt black & white with Oz being better than the Uk or the Uk being better than Oz. Is down to the individual & their circumstances & what they want out of life. Also, both moves need a plan almost business like; with a contingency what if..... more so if there are kids in the equation. Good luck with whatever you decide. Is certainly an emotional rollercoaster, purely from a decision making process. We have returned to something similar to where we were in Perth e.g. semi rural, with a flavour of my childhood (lurved living in a village & the community) but somewhere NEW. An hour up the road from where we left which was a town. Close to family but not too close! Is tough starting again, making new friends, settling but is somewhere we want to be. We have all benefited from the move & that in itself makes it all worthwhile!

HI fizzybangs, was me that said you needed to bring a hard copy of your no claims bonus! Privilege Insurance do take Aussie no claims - but they wouldnt accept an emailed version of our no claims, said they wanted it on letter headed paper. So had to contact Allianz aus (who incidently are separate from allianz uk) to get them to post a copy to us in the UK, for us to then post on to Privilege. Privilege gave us 30 days to get that hard copy to them, so added a bit of extra hassle we didnt need with trying to set up everything else in Uk. So yep, whilst in Oz definately get 1 or 2 letter headed hard copies of your no claims & bring in your hand luggage! Good luck!

completely agree. Being somewhere you are desperately unhappy just generates a detachment for whats is going on around you & life in general. I know in those last few months before we returned, seemed like the world was going on around us, people going about their business & we just didnt feel part of it. If we had of stayed I am sure I would have had to have seeked help! Since being back in the UK, all those feelings have gone & actually feel like we are living our lives rather than watching!

Something I have learnt since being back is that it is imperative you dont just come back for people but because of what is right for you & you as a family. Wonder if homesickness takes different forms. Have had it on & off over the last 10 yrs but last year was different, last year is exactly that - really felt we were in a foreign country & detached. Also felt this for our kids especially our eldest & he was born in Perth. Lots of reasons for returning & missing people was one but not the sole reason. Are really having to adjust our expectations more so with family, find out those that we can build something with. You change alot as people when you move to the other side of the world & probably nothing they do is going to match how you think it is going to be, when you get back. However, for us there were so many other reasons for returning that have been fulfilled, the other stuff we can work with! Cant change the way people are or behave but how we respond or react to it. Having a plan for when you get back is good, to avoid the what now, feeling..... Having lived in Nz & Australia, I still believe the UK has a lot to offer, just a case of finding the right spot & what you want from the move. Still great to be back!

Quoll I have to say you were probably one of the first posts I read about not being happy in Oz about a year ago now! I truely did think we were going bonkers for wanting to go home. Everywhere we went people said we were nuts. Also back then I think there was a real bad case of anti anyone posting their own personal experiences on Oz that were less than favourable. Have to say in recent times I think things have changed. Or is it that more people are going back?! who know!

Absolutely not on your own, is an emotional rollercoaster. We were away 10 yrs & with x2 young kids, felt lonely & isolated towards the end & a tremendous pull to go home. Trust your gut feeling is all I can say. Give yourself some goals & break the time down into manageable chunks. You will get there. We have been home 9 mths, kids have settled fantastically well & we have this sense of peace & belonging. Sooo hard to explain until you lose that. Take care & wishing you the best with everything.