Sunshine111

We shipped our dog back last August from Perth with Jetpets, was just under 3000 dollars. We had all the blood tests/jabs done etc before our departure, to enable us to pick her up at Heathrow a week after we arrived rather than quarantine for 6 months. She arrived well, albeit a bit disorientated & slept well for a couple of nights at home but the staff at Heathrow were absolutely fab! I am sooo sorry to hear of your experience & wish you the best with your next chapter. Do some research on line, find a place in the UK that you are enthusiastic about, fits in with your hobbies/interests etc. Work-wise, good hubs are (as per an article I read a while ago) Bristol/Reading/Milton Keynes/Leeds. There are plenty of others. We have been back a year after 10 yrs away in Nz and Oz, with our x2 young children. Sooo glad to be back, there are cultural differences & for me am glad to be home & amongst my own folk! We are in a village & I just lurve the community feel & goodwill, is pleasantly refreshing. Exciting times ahead for you. take care

Wish you all the best with the next chapter & whatever you decide. and can relate to what you're saying, didnt realise how much we missed things until we got back. (been away 10 yrs) We were in Perth 6 yrs & you are absolutely right the last x2 blistering summers, part of the reason (along with many) why we returned. Was a nightmare with x2 young kids. We would be homebound alot & even the local indoor play centre didnt have adequent air con. (found that with Perth, parks with inadequent shade not using local surrounds (e.g. trees, would be removed to make way for a park, rather than building play equipment around trees!) just wasnt enough indoor things to do, when weather too hot to be outside We would go to Scitech as much as we could! (fantastic air con system) tho' one time coming back from there, the car overheated!! Yep, never been so glad to be home, have been out more with the kids than we ever were there. Think you have to have adequent air con thru the house & a pool, even if its an above ground intex one. (on the hot days we would have silver tarpauline over it, funny to look at & certainlly didnt look like we were living the dream!) Still, great adventure...!

Great to hear. Welcome home! we have been back a year now & still lurving it! sooo much to do & looking at the country with a new appreciation really helps. Not to say it hasn't been a bit challenging setting up home around x2 young kids but I think it's the feeling that we belong & can see ourselves here long term that helps! good luck with everything.

Great post Fizzybangs, can relate to so much in it. We are back in the Uk after 10 yrs (been back a year now) Have to agree, the Oz we lurved 10-12 yrs ago whilst backpacking is not the one we left a year ago. So much has changed, is it mining? is it a change of government? Or has it just peaked? or perhaps, equally it was us, as we also changed too & went from 20 somethings looking for adventure to 30 somethings looking to settle down long term with our kids. Is true about the timing, pounds went so much further 12 yrs ago & I also think we were incredibly lucky we had a brilliant adventure & our money went so much further. We travelled all of Oz, lurved the East Coast but decided on Perth, had friends there (perhaps that was an error in judgement on our part, Perth just wasnt enough for us) Interestingly the UK I was disillusioned with 10-12 yrs ago & couldnt wait to leave has also changed, grown up maybe but I utterly lurve it, feel so at home & connected. (again partly due to the country & a bit of patriotism I never notice before but also we did not return to the same place, (our home town) rather a well researched part of the country that we felt would be better suited to us as a family, no longer townies but semi-rural!) Hard to put into words, has been a challenging year but is getting easier. For the most part we are working on finding a way or a level to connect with family (a messy divorced family at that!) but sisters wedding last month & was fab to be there & part of it, especially for the kids. One thing I like about being back is that extended family are accessible, we arent the kind of family in each others pockets & lurvly to see them (for the kids) but equally lurvly (for us!) to go home! Glad of our time in Oz & Nz, changed us as people, have come back with a level of optimism, determination & a belief that everything is possible!

Like any country it is important to find & be in an area that you want to be. We did alot of research before we returned from Oz & hvae not moved back to our home town but rather found an area that is semi rural & village setting. We are probably different from alot of people in that we had a fantastic 10 yr adventure. Hubby & I backpacked in 1999 for a year came back to UK didnt settle emmigrated to Nz & Oz & generally moved every couple of years, so is safe to say we got the travel bug out of our system now!! Last year we reached a cross roads. After 6 yrs, felt Perth wasnt for us as a family for the long term (lots of reasons) & would have considered a move to Sydney but only based on our experience 10 yrs ago (so much changed since then especially the cost of living) In fairness to Perth, we decided to move there from Nz as a couple (didnt have the kids then) had friends moving there & liked the thought of the blue skies & sunshine! A couple of months of arriving I fell pregnant. We never really had a plan & quite liked moving around but once the kids came we reached a point in our lives where we had to make a decision on a place long term... So we decided to return home, weather was a reason, early childhood system (better here in the UK, I know having had a comparision, tho' more expensive better quality) access to extended family (my 6 yr old has just had a party with Nanny & Grandad & Auntys & uncles attending & all his school mates, he was made up!!) lots more things to do/variety. Grass to play on(sad as that sounds!) I could go on..... (but this is all specific to us as a family, everyone is different) There are plenty of fun things to do in this country for free!!! We went to legoland a couple of months ago on our tescoes vouchers, so didnt cost a penny! there are plenty of deals out there for those parks. Also went caravanning with the sun deal, 9.50 per person couldnt afford to go away in Perth. Loads of events/festivals on. I lurve the fact that you can go across counties for things to do. There is a rockpooling event on in the summer holidays (is free!) All local museums have stuff on in school hols as do the libraries. You have to get out there & find things that suit your kids. The local town centre has free events on for toddlers, as does the local village hall. Honestly, when you start pulling back the layers you realise what is available out there.... There's loads of free trials for kids activities. My son has a free football trial. Kids travel for free on the underground in London. This is all the tip of the iceberg. For the whole of August the West End is offering kids going for free with a paying adult for any show!! For us tho' it took going away to appreciate what the country actually has to offer!

It's this whole "better life" thing that needs to be quantified. Before you emmigrate with kids, you have to be sure what it is that you are hoping to improve & know where & how you are going to get that. Moving to Oz doesnt automatically mean your kids will have a better life. We had both our children there & returned to the UK last year because we felt the UK had more to offer them. Talked with our son about the move back home before we went (his whole 5 yrs where in oz) he seemed to understand as best a 5 yr old can but then we upsold it too him, with the benefits of returning & to be honest. I am not sure I would have wanted to return with tweenies or teens because they tend to have built friendships then & probably more stressful. Have monitored our eldest son along the way, especially in this first year but to be honest he settled so quickly here, only took a couple of months. Tho' I'll be honest & say if he had not settled back here in the UK we would have returned to Oz. For the most part we have returned to the UK for the kids. Could luck, do your research. Find out exactly if/how your kids will benefit. Leave no stone unturned so to speak. It's a big move.

great post! I arrived back last August too & agree it hasnt been easy, mainly because we have been away 10 yrs & have moved to a new area with two young kids but like any big move takes a couple of years but happy with the progress we've made in our first year. Takes time but great to be home!

this is a tricky one. If all your family is in Oz, then obviously perhaps it is a sense of belonging you are missing? Perhaps you need a regular UK fix so to speak, to touchbase with your roots. When I was away 10 yrs we seemed to find that around the 3 yr mark we got a bit homesick, seemed to be the tonic to go home at that point for a 3-4 wk holiday. Going back for a holiday might be a starting point to see how you feel. (tho' remembering it is a holiday & we tend to see things rose tinted when we are on holiday! e.g. for me I lurved the thought of living in the sun, but holidaying in it & living in it are two very different things!!) You need to find peace with it somehow, otherwise there probably will be a part of you that wonders what if....

thanks for your post is really interesting hearing another perspective, wonder if we hadn't of come back home when we did, whether it would have been one of our kids writng the same post. We returned last August my eldest was 5 yrs, youngest 1 yrs. My extended family are also less than perfect but some of it is about getting to know your roots.

Great post! We left Perth last year, had changed so much since we first arrived there in 2006. (returned to UK last year) Cost of living increased dramatically for us in that time. There definately needs to be a correction. We left there last year & sooo relieved we did. House prices are coming down over there I believe, but i read an article in the West Australian saying that a Sydney travel company are saying to avoid holidaying in Perth like the plague until the mining boom is over! because of the "massive escalation in the cost of restaurant meals, drinks and hotel rooms in Perth."

Maybe you are right. Have to say when I when backpacking in 1999-2000 around Oz, was cheap as chips to travel around. Came home(Uk) in 2000, to where we had come from, couldnt settle & underestimated being able to pick up the old life, even after a year! (same people sitting at the bar stools of the local pub, 1yr later!) We left Uk in 2001 (for good as far as we were concerned!) & stayed in Nz/Oz until last year when we started to become quite disillusioned with Perth after 5 yrs. On returning to the uk last year with our young family we have found the cost of living far cheaper than Perth which has surprised me no end! (conditioned myself for as long as I can remember that we couldnt live in the UK because it was soooo expensive!) I feel quite fortunate that we did as much as we did in Oz/NZ at an affordable time & will always have fond memories!

I really feel for you & completely understand where you are at. You've left a job you lurved in the UK, trying to settle in a new country, so have no support network & all around x2 toddlers. Whereever you moved to in the world, that is alot to take on. Is very hard being at home all day with one toddler let alone two & especially without familarity around you. Family daycare is something to pursue, ask about & go with referals from other mums if you can. Find out now because there can be waiting lists. If you think to yourself it's only a year, try & think about places you want to go or things you want to achieve in that time. Find a hobby something you like doing. Could you freelance or even set up something from home? Also, although trapsing around various playgroups & mothers groups as a newbie is sometimes just as much hard work! go to loads to try & find the one most suited to you (some can be closed off because they are ex-mothers groups & not so open to newbies - only my experience!) Y Try & get out there (even if you dont feel like it!) & try & build your support network if you can. Expats are a good starting place, people in the same boat. Consider setting up your own thread on here to identify others in the same situation with small kids & create a regular meet. These are only just things to help maintain sanity. It is imperative you look after yourself emotionally & be kind to yourself, you are trying to spin alot of plates there & for the most part on your own!

ha! ha! know exactly what you mean. Have barely scratched the surface of whats actually right out there on our doorstep! Ours is trying to do everything around the terrible two's! another year or two & it'll come right...

ha! ha! you are defo not alone on this one.. strangely in the last couple of weeks, I am starting to hanker after Oz, tho' not for the right reasons & strangely, a pair of rose tinted glasses have come on! (perhaps it is a test that comes at that 6-12 mth mark of being back?!) When I actually break it down, I realise it is the adventure, excitment & novelty of the blue skies & holiday feeling it brought that we experienced in the first couple of years in Perth,. So much going on, moved to a new country, bought a house & had our first son all in the space of those first couple of yrs. Then the glasses come off & I remember the last year of being there & how miserable, lonely & isolated we felt & how apparent it became for various reasons, that the future wasnt there for us & it all puts it into perspective!! For us at mo, it is very challenging because we were away so long & is like emmigrating again & around x2 full-on energetic boys! with no real support network. Lost contact with old friends & have moved to a new area. Part of me just wants to run back to Oz! not because it is right thing to do, but because I want to run away!!!! This is all short term, because I know long term it will come together. Is like spinning plates, got a couple spinning at mo, kids are sorted, we are house hunting (doing a letter drop at the weekend) Once we get our own place & get a bit of time back to ourselves will make all the difference! At mo we are between x2 villages, the one we are renting in & the one where my son goes to school. Is a bit unsettling because in someways we are not really aligned or part of either as such but got a foot in each camp!! Anyway, just to say I wonder that it takes a good 2-3 yrs at least with any big move to settle & get all the plates spinning so to speak!! Good luck with the new job:)

I really really feel for you, having returned from Perth last August after 5 yrs. 19th July not far, hang in there. Just make sure you do your homework & work out what you want on your return & be kind to yourselves. Is an incredible emotional rollercoaster. I have only now started to reflect on my time in Perth & you have to allow for that, 6-12 mths down the track where I can see how the ping pong effect takes shape. As much as I lurved our detached property with land & the blue skies, in Perth I couldnt change the insular & somewhat backward attitudes that we consistency seemed to come against & I too could give you many examples of frustrations of life in Perth. Since being back in the Uk I have a completely new appreciation & just know where I am, if that makes sense? I cannot explain it & nobody can understand it until you have experienced & lived in the x2 places. We have a way to go to get to be exactly where we want (financially) but our quality of life has improved & our kids are thriving over here & that in itself is a great start for us! good luck:)

Reading this post, I see some similarities to how I felt towards the end before I returned to UK, I have never suffered depression but honestly thought I could have gone under had i have stayed. It scared the life out of me, especially as had x2 kids to think about. What you are missing is a "sense of belonging" look it up, on the internet. Until you dont have it, you can barely understand the impact (especially from a mental health perspective) of losing it, yet it is a basic human requirement along side food & warmth. Definately try & get out & volunteer & try & join the local community. What about seeking out fellow ex-pats. Think you need to touchbase with your roots too. Can you go back to the Uk every so often. I was away 12 yrs & found I had to go back every 3 yrs & get my "fix" so to speak. Part of the reason for returning to the UK indefinately was we had x2 kids & could not afford to do that & then that is when I started feeling trapped. Was fortunate enough that our whole family felt the same, (had no family in Oz both hubby & I, Brits) cant imagine how you go forward when the family is split on the decision. Just try & do one day at a time & be kind to yourself. take care. Talk to your partner too, she really needs to know how you feel. Sometimes when you know what you are dealing with, it makes it easier to find a solution. Looking back I would have started up my own group for other individuals/families in the same situation & tried to have built a community/support group based on that... UK & Oz may both speak the same language but they are quite different cultures, probably something people really underestimate when moving there. You are not alone, there are others out there who feel the same, just got to seek them out & posting on the forum is a good first step.

I know a few South Africans that moved to Perth for the heat, so you would probably quite enjoy it, they said it was the same as J'berg. Infact, when I lived in Nz there were many who emmigrated to Nz firstly, couldnt get on with the climate too cold!! & went onwards bound to Oz! Just to confirm, already home my friend & have been for the last 9 mths! not rose tinted glasses is how it actually is for us. We had x2 kids under 5 yrs & for us just found it too hot from December - March. Anything over mid 30's was just too much. We would often come home from parks around that time. Not all parks had adequent shade. Only had to drive about between say 11-4pm & see nobody out in any of the parks playing. Like I say this is not a debate of this v that, more to highlight that the UK does have plenty to offer, funny really if my list was about any other country other than the UK I just dont think people would batter an eyelid!

Not really meant to be a debate about UK v Oz. Is only my experience of Perth v West Sussex & surrounds! For us, no contest the later wins hands down for us as a family. Like you say, you can find what you need if you look, maybe you dont always have to emmigrate to find it!

We are benefiting greatly from what the UK has to offer, as follows (just off the top of my head, as I think of more, I will add!) Fantastic early childhood system (especially for 2-5 yrs) the ages before school, great transition into school system (teaching independence/socialisation/behaviour etc proper structure but in a fun environment) Adhoc play - can go to park & find other kids in the park to play with that maybe from school or around our village (rather than having to orchestrate playdates everytime) especially after school. (both in our village & where my son goes to school) Sooooooo many different playgrounds all over the place with different things to swing on climb on etc Outside play more (just dress up accordingly) Seasons - we had great fun playing in the snow a few months ago, as well as the sunshine we are having now Football encouraged from an early age (really good if you got boys with lots of energy) very good from a socialisation point of view too Great after school sport options for the early years too (my son happy does football & tennis after school & has more than enough energy & lurves it) Diverse things to do whether that be theme parks (we went to Lego land on Monday after cashing in our tescoes vouchers. Didnt cost a penny!) Kids lurved it. Beaches/parks/museums/events/swimming/lidos/farms/zoos/nature trails If you are bored of an area, there is somewhere else to go, a different pool a different park a different zoo or museum. (later being free in London. Science museum in itself is a weeks holiday!) I have found the kids at my son schools more confident, outgoing & social too Different trees to look at, different bugs to look at (again a boy thing!) & at different times of the year (& helicopters as we call them - those funny things you throw in the air!) More interaction with different generations, so to learn from etc (we had mothers groups in Perth which was great in the early years but not enough experience with older generations (for us who had no family in Oz) who bring so much more, especially as kids get older. Found that the older generation kept to themselves as did the younger generation. Seemed to be no or not enough crossing over, things that brought the two together. On bank holiday/long weekends, people to catch up with (less of an island) whether that be with our family members or other people seem happy to invite us into their own fold. Rather than us on our own for that extra day. We could go 3-4 days without seeing anymore unless we had planned to meet them. Sometimes it is nice to just go out to a park & know there is someone to see or for the kids to play with Play outside any time of day any time of year (again not hampered by heat & having to come home at 11am & stay inside until 5-6pm Loads & loads of community events, everyone intergenerationally involved, in different villages/towns. There is a picnic on the green this sunday & there must be an event on every weekend over the next couple of months. From Punch & judy on the beach to various Fetes with all the usual traditional stuff. Got a carnival in another town on the river in a couple of months. Plenty of indoor options/places to go if the weather isnt great I lurved the simplicity of our life in Perth but tbh, we are semi-rural & have actually re-created that here & when/if the kids get bored of village life & want to chase the bright lights, I lurve the fact they only got to get into a car & be at London or Brighton! or anywhere else in the UK come to that Thats just for starters.... I honestly hadnt realised what was available until we got back, not till you start getting out there that you realise! (so much I took for granted!)The trick I think is, like moving anywhere new whether that be Uk or OZ is, know what you want & choose your area carefully!

I really feel for you, such a challenging situation to be in. What your describing sounds like our lifestyle over there, except no inlaws & thankfully hubby was around! Not sure what the answer is, after reading your most recent posts. Is it a case of that you have to go to Oz in order to keep your family together? Where will your support network come from over there if hubby is working & inlaws are tricky? When you have a young family you really need that. Maybe you have friends over there?

We may have considered a move interstate to Sydney. Enjoyed it as backpackers, spent 8 mths there but when you got school aged kids in the equation for us too risky, (until recently, each state had a different education system , they are striving at the mo to get all states the same so then a move interstate would be no big drama for kids) also wanted our kids to get to know their family. Guess we were ready to find somewhere we could put roots down for our kids, UK was a safe bet & for us as a family the right move. Everyone's different & at different stages of our lives need something different. When we were 20 somethings, Uk couldnt offer us what Australia could. Now we are late 30 somethings & with kids, Uk is now offering what Oz couldnt! Who says you got to be in the same country all your life?! Good to have choices thats what i say!

just to add we have had the worst wettest April in 100 yrs & all that rain did my head in too. Especially with boys who have bundles of energy. Took mine swimming to wear them out loads! I can honestly say, I have probably had x3 or x4 days out of 9mths that have been hampered by UK weather. We were more hampered by Perths heat for sometimes weeks on end. The other challenge we seemed to face was the lack of indoor things to do when the weather was too hot to be outside or lack of air con facility. There are only so many times you can go to Scitech (which in my opinion has the best air con in town!!) Both my boys were born in Perth & one day we will go back for a holiday to show them that little part of their history. You can still encourage that part of their heritage. Especially with hubby being Aussie. What about celebrating Australia day etc? or specific Aussie dates etc. Have your kids settled ok? could you talk to them, gauge how they feel?

Not sure what the answer is, just to offer some support. Be a real challenge being torn between x2 countries. Guess it comes down to where you would get the most support? Is there anyway you could go between the x2? does it have to be one or the other? If you do move back, be advisable to have a comprehensive plan, how will you & the kids benefit as well? Otherwise a move back to the UK could be doomed from the start, especially if you are going back not really wanting too & is how resentment has the potential to set in. Not sure what to advise for the best. Sure things will come together & the answers will come. Good luck.

What are you trying to improve in yours or your families life that a move to Oz will create? Reading your post, you say everything has fallen into place re jobs/where you live etc & you are all happy as a family.... The question is, is it the country that is the problem. e.g. is it the fact that you have all this in the UK?! After all, yours sounds like the kind of lifestyle that you expect or hope to strive too by moving to Oz! Is there an element of disbelief? can anyone actually be happy in the UK? Well guess what, you have proved they can be! If you can afford comfortably a house in UK with a big garden for your boys but not in Oz then that sounds like a great start! Maybe some people do have to move to Oz for a better life but alot of people dont. Is a case of tweaking what you dont like, that I am sure of. Oz is a fantastic place for an adventure, but there is no guarantee that life is going to be better. I have been back in UK 9 mths (after 12 yrs away from it) & only now starting to feel I am getting there. We are living in one village & my son school is in another, so is taking a bit more effort! tho' people are pretty friendly & forthcoming. (got to know quite a few people in both villages, so is a bit of bonus in some ways) I often read this "it's a better life for the kids" they have more space to run about etc... I have x2 crazy boys & we havent been hampered by returning to the UK, (infact we have been outside more!) we are out doing loads, we live semi-rural in a village, loads of parks & they have PLENTY of space! is nice to see kids playing out in the parks especially after school (often didnt see this because it was too hot) Also if the weather isnt great, well there is loads to do inside. I would often pick up my son from daycare (in Perth) where it had been too hot & they had been inside all day. This happened many weeks on the bounce, thankfully he was only there x2 days 9-3pm. Was quite a few boys & they would literally let them wrestle each other in the afternoon & when I picked up my son he would be so charged it would be a nightmare when we got him home, trying to get him to settle down. Read someones comment on here about kids maybe being better behaved if they have more open space. Unfortunately wish it was as simple as that, but I just didnt experience that, the more you let kids run wild (boys in particular) the more I found they didnt seem to know how to behave in situations when that isnt appropriate. Yes boys need to be able to run (is like having x2 puppies, need to run them both in the morning & afternoon!) & yes if you are in the UK in a flat/high storey, no access to open space then I would say move or emmigrate! but really I drive around amazed at how much countryside & green open space there is. Contrary to popular opinion it is possible to have a good life here and just like Oz, you have to work hard for it. Wish you the best with whatever you decide. I never forget meeting a woman from Essex a couple of years ago who left the UK in the 70's with her x2 boys. She said for a better life, more space etc. Now 30 yrs later, she goes back to the UK every year & what sticks in my mind is her saying how since "she had travelled around the UK extensively, only to realise she didnt need to leave, it was here all the time, if only she had of moved a bit out of Essex!"

I too am completely surprised! Just got back from a day a the beach with our mother in law & she came back bright red but then the hawiian tropic oil she smothered over herself probably had something to do with it, bless her!