Sunshine111

What a challenge for you, I really feel for you. Reading your post, I can relate to alot, I think we all want the best for our kids & it is that part that doesnt look like it sits well with you. Have they got a better life? Why wont your husband return? So tricky when one of you wants one & the other another. Equally 8 mths isnt long, but then I think reading this, you think you should be back in the UK for your sons education? I think it is a case of pulling back the layers. If that wasn't a factor, could you relax? could you enjoy it better? Biggest thing is trust your "gut feeling" there is something niggling it, sounds more than just homesickness. Put some things on paper & try & work though it. The answer is always there. Best of luck:)

Just to agree the sentiment of others, probably not the best timing & as has already been said, don't burn bridges. You just never know, after 10 yrs away in Nz & Oz we never thought we would return but we did & 18mths on ,we are still trying to rebuild relationships. When one moves/emmigrates rightly or wrongly we get so caught up on the excitment/adventure of it all, that we forget about the people we leave behind. Everyone acts differently & is all down to interpretation, those that left, perhaps it is a sign of not that they are not happy for you, but of how much they will miss you.....?

Very very hard decision to return, wanted the best for the kids. Was away a long time, so is almost like emmigrating again, as can't just pop back into the old life in Oz, with the couple of friends we made. We are into year 2, foundations are starting to take place. Kids are v.happy & can see ourselves here long term. Really glad of the time in Oz but I think it changed & we had changed & long term just didn't see ourselves here. Think what scared me was meeting people who had 20+ yrs on us, who still hadnt settled & wished they hadnt stayed. However, the experience has taught me alot & I am grateful for that & being back & moving somewhere new am doing things differently. Who knows, maybe if we had applied what we are doing now differently now could have been different.

Good on you, sounds like your hard work paid off. I can completely agree with the last line, except to say we are in the UK instead & in to our 2nd year. I think where ever you move to, those first couple of years are exactly that "hard & stressful!" Got to put the hard work & graft in, for it to pay off.

We did exactly the same as you, after 10 yrs in Oz & returned with a 5 yr old & 1 yr old. Was really worried about schooling for our 5 yr old, all seemed to daunting. We decided to rent first rather than buy, as wanted to ensure we re-settled, so looked on rightmove.co.uk first to see what was available in the area we were looking in (whilst also looking at purchase prices to ensure we could afford to buy when we were ready) Rightmove has a tab on it to tell you which schools are nearest (you can then look up the ofsted report, for that particular school & then go onto the school website & even possibly see how many are in the class, to see if you have a chance of getting a place) We also applied half way through the year & managed to get into our 2nd choice school, which as it happens was better (only by a bit) than our 1st choice but that particular class only had 26 kids. Turned out well for us, our son absolutely lurves his new school! Best of luck:)

It takes time to re-settle/move back to the Uk (as it does to emmigrate to Oz) Lets be honest, from what I have read form your posts Jasepom, you've been back in the Uk 5 minutes & lets face it, your heart isn't in it & you don't want to be here anyway! Is it not your family unit that influenced your return to the Uk? are they happy? do they want to return to Oz? I am pretty sure that the stay "2yr rule, if you move to Oz,!" is really very loosely based on any move whether that be there or to the Uk. (apart from those that just know it isn't for them, this comes down to the kids in someways, I think. If ours hadnt settled would have influenced our decision, I am sure) Has been a huge rollercoaster for us, but here's the thing, our heart IS in it, we want to be here in the Uk & our kids are happy. No hubby's job isnt a dream job & yes we are renting & haven't found our own home yet, yes family have been a huge disappointment but here's the thing we have peace, rather than that empty, lost feeling & the sense of not belonging that we had in the lead up to moving back to the Uk from Oz. We know long term those things will come together & that's how you have to view it. Am I here long term? what do I want from the move etc? I think it must be very challenging for you, when your family unit want one thing but you as an individual want something or somewhere entirely different. I wish you well & hope it all comes together for you:)

here! here! we didnt listen to the doom mongers (thankfully!) about returning to the Uk. Felt like we we swimming against the tide, is a matter of doing your research & choosing your area. (no different to emmigrating to Oz) We have found a great spot, kids are happy, great landscape, lots to do, hubby found work within a couple of months, fab community. I was away 10 yrs lived In Nz & Oz and between the two & UK, there really isnt much in it, there are pros & cons to all, no one place is paradise & they all offer different things/ lifestyles, which I think comes down to suit each individual. For us, as a family, the UK suits us best at this stage in our lives but glad of the adventure to make us appreciate that.

30 yrs is a long friendship, the truth is, it may take her going away, to fully appreciate it. Thats the think about emmigrating, sometimes you dont realise what you have until you go. With a bit of luck it will make your friendship stronger. Time is a good healer & perfectly natural I think to have ugly feelings, because you are experiencing a sense of loss & its the whole emotional thing of hurt, anger & then acceptance. I had a friend from Switzerland, who the whole time she was away spoke weekly to x2 of her close friends, who had children whilst she was away, so she put photos up for her kids & they webcamed too. Now after 10 yrs she has returned home & she has returned and has been able to pick up with them, I am sure because she put the time in. However, she wasnt homesick so probably was easier. Thank you for your kind words too, it is terribly challenging trying to rebuild family/friendships. In some ways I feel we have opened a can of worms by returning, but the kids are benefits & we really wanted them to get to know their family. Really love where we are in Sussex, so that balances things out! I also don't regret going to Oz, and maybe like your friend, I would have been wondering "what if..." if we hadnt of gone. I truely believe we would have regretted not going, I just wish we had of had a plan before we left and hadn't have gone for so long in some ways....

wishing you all the best with your next adventure. We were away 10 yrs, like you Nz first, then work opportunities took us to Perth. Was a great adventure being away, but good to be home. Especialliy seeing the Uk through different eyes & a new appreciation! good luck:)

Just to wish you well, the early months moving anywhere are tough, especially to another country. One week you can be down on your luck & the next, something pops out of the bag & things start to come together. Very challenging being at home with young kids too, if you're not already, try & get out and join some playgroups, get talking to people. They say 80% of jobs arent advertised, so you never know who you'll get talking too. Best of luck.

Very thought provoking post, hearing it from your point of view. I had a dear friend who could have been you, hadnt realised the impact it probably had on her, we never spoke about it, was only a youngster too really, so didnt think or understand probably, when she failed to keep in contact or that in the early days, I called her, she never called me - thought I cant be bothered if you can't & we drifted apart, perhaps if we had of talked about it and how we could build something for the future, her visiting etc... Anyway, having been away 10 yrs, left as 20 something year olds & returned as 30 something with x2 kids, we have been working hard to rebuild relationships with family & friends. We had no plans to return to the Uk, so over time, life gets busy & so not as much contact with family, lost contact with some friends. Had our work cut out for us on our return. Life moves on without you & you have to work out who you can rebuild with & where you fit as family dynamics change, especially the longer you are away.

Wishing you all the very best with your move Blobby. Cornwall will be wonderful, saw some pics of a friends holiday a couple of days ago who had just got back, had not realised it was Cornwall! could have been New Zealand! Great post, sometimes you have to work through things to find some peace. I hated Perth right up until we left, but having been back a year I see it all in a different light, more realising that we just weren't compatiable for many different reasons, not all Perths fault! but the lessons we learnt & the people we met, perhaps it was all character building for actually coming home! First 6 mths are a challenge bit like a snow plough, you have to keep pushing through as it does get easier. The trick is to have a long term plan. So at least you have something to focus on. I also fail to see all this doom & gloom everyone talks about, funny thing about being away is that you find a huge level of resilence & attitude that you can do anything. Don't like something, change it or tweak it. Lots of people in this country need to do that, instead of sitting their backsides & moaning about how bad the Uk is. Least you gave it a go & with x2 young kids in tow, which isnt easy! The weather is a good one, British obsession, no we haven't been out any less than when we were in Perth. Yes I do miss the blue skies sometimes but you can't have it all!! Weather hasnt stopped us doing anything & when you got x2 boys, you're always on the go!! Good luck & wishing you every success:)

ha! made me chuckle we went through there when we backpacked. Great experience, such a different place but yeah... umm... wouldnt want to live there!

thanks, part of the reason for posting on here is because i know how hard it its & how I felt when were deciding to return. Was incredibly hard decision, more so because it wasnt about us, but the kids. Not really difficult, we had a dog too, so werent the ideal candidates! Also, applied for sons school in July which was way past the cut off. The school in the village we managed to secure a rental in was full, but the next village wasnt & as it turns out, turned out for the best. Used rightmove & offered 6 mths rent in advance, helped that the landlord was a dog lover! once we had the rental (fixed abode) we were able to secure our son in school. Though needed someone to view so my mum viewed it (we paid 6mth rent once we got off plane) Volia!

Away from Uk 10 yrs, last 6 yrs in Perth. Arrived in Perth as a couple x1 dog & left there family of x4 with x1 dog, our situation changed & so did our outlook & what we wanted for the future

riginally Posted by aliWhilst I can't totally empathise (as I haven't even wanted to return to the UK for a holiday), I do think "there for the grace of God" and realise that it might have been me writing in this section looking for support had things turned out differently for us as a family. I would still however, have great difficulty understanding that someone would return to the UK based on the journey from the airport (which I read a few years ago .. had to be something deeper than that surely). Very simply its a case of a "sense of belonging" until you dont have that, it is hard to imagine. When you have waited sooo long for something, after making a life changing decision, knowing that you can move forward & that your life is no longer "on hold" Am sure there are a few people who can relate to that, maybe those that after years of applying to Oz felt the same on arriving at an Australian airport. Is not the "airport" itself, it is what it signifies.... e.g. the start of the next chapter...! make sense now?!

Decided in Dec 2010 that we wanted to return, & took till Aug 2011, to actually do it. Was desperate by that point but we had a house to renovate & sell & that is what took the time. When you've made the decison it is hard because you just want to go. Lots of doubts before we went, because we had the kids & wanted what was best for them. Read everything about the Uk, papers, forums & nothing that made me feel any better. So much more negativity about returning, all in my opinion unjustified. Doubted ourselves right up until we left. Felt at peace with the decision when we arrived back, just felt right, if that makes sense. Takes time, is a rollercoaster, especially the first year. We are entering year 2 & things are starting to come together. Patience is key. Exchange is good & with the internet, you can find out everything you need to know, so as to plan the move well (we had secured a rental & sons school all from Oz & found out everything we needed to know, about the knew area we were moving too e.g. what it had to offer us) I think it is alot less riskier now with the internet, which has made things easier, for finding information. Should imagine as a ten pound pom it would have been a huge decision to even think about returning, let alone doing it, because there would have been no way of knowing what you were going back to, let alone being able to "look before you leap!" (not forgetting the exchange wouldnt have worked in your favour) Good luck with your move. Trust your gut feeling is all I can say, no matter what people around you are saying... (lesson we learnt, no one had a good word to say about us returning whilst still in Oz)

Good luck with your move home. Think the challenging part is when you've made the decision & the downtime until you go... Drove us nuts, but now seems like a distant memory. Been home over a year & true to say great adventure being away but even better to be "home"

Completely agree, away 10yrs & even tho' the gut feeling was to return, we were absolutely petrified! Part of the reason I still post on here, is a bit of habit! (before we returned I was on here all the time, "willing" there to be positive posts to make our reason to return right!) & also to those thinking or wanting to return, really to say if you want it to, & have a plan, be aware of why you left in the first place, change those things, it can work returning. For us, moving to a new area was key, along with pursuing our interests, but perhaps thats it. It take courage to move to Oz, you find yourself changing as a person, so I dont think you can pick up the old life. ((you've left that comfort zone & suddenly realise everything is possible, so need more challenges if you return to Uk. Case of being bold & brave!) You can access the old life, but I think coming back living somewhere or doing something different is the formula (set some challenges) set up a business, pursue a hobby..... know what you want from returning. If you pick up the old drudge, then is a receipe for disaster & increases the chances of ping ponging back & forth....!

Like I say is about doing your homework, before we arrived in Perth, we didnt have kids so didnt take the education/schools into thought when we decided "where" to move in Perth/Oz. Where were these preschooler feeders into primary school in Oz? Perhaps this was happening in specific states or WA come to that? In our suburb & surrounds, what was available was daycare (0-5yrs) until starting school (which wasnt structured, just somewhere to put your kids really if you worked!) or when they reached 3yrs old, there was "3yr old kindy" whih cost an arm & leg per term & difficult to get into places were limited, then kindy (2days a week, my son was 4.5yrs before he was old enough to attend) so 5.5yrs before attending pre-primary, then 6.5 yrs before actually starting compulsory school. His birthday was July & cut off was June 30th. My son wasnt gifted just had lots of energy & & enthusiasm that needed to be channelled. Was not alone in this but there seemed to be this general thought that boys werent ready to start school until they were 6 yrs old. Trouble is, nothing in place for those that were! Perhaps area by area & states different but in our suburb there was no preschool feeders into school. Everything was very separate. Playgroups/daycare/3yr old kindy, were all individual & not working with liasing with the schools to make the transition into school easier. Which I wouldnt have questioned until seeing what m sons have here in the uk.

Interesting, how everyone's experiences ar different. I think it is case by case & why it's not beneficial to "generalise" about either education system, because it depends on the school what the leadership is like/what facilities are available/how they manage behaviour issues, amongst a host of other things. Been back over a year & reading this thread before I returned, would have had me in a right panic... where we doing the right thing on returning for our kids??!! However, had to go with our gut feeling, read ofsted reports about various schools in the area & found a fantastic village school, that my son has been at for a year now & lurves it. He was doing x2 days a week kindy in Perth which was not enough for him, (bright boy but July birthday so just missed the cut off) except by term 2 he actually started getting homework because they couldnt squeeze enough into those 2 days (last year in year 1 here in Uk, he got no homework, but reading) & the teacher was under pressure to get them up to a certain level something to do with Naplan. My younger son who is 2&1/2 is going to the local pre-school which is on the school site. Carers are utterly wonderful, there is structure & a log book which tells you what hes been up to (he only does x2 mornings a wk) - Thats another thing I didnt have a very good experience of daycare in Oz for my eldest. Was "just a job" & they worked their staff, long hours & inturn created such a turnover of staff. Looked at all options & family daycare (we are only talking 1 or 2 days a wk) but there were so few out there & those that were any good had a long waiting list & you had to put their name down at birth!! ha! There is a fantastic process from now until my youngest starts school. Beforethe children start reception (kindy in Perth) the Primary teacher comes out to visit the child & the school liases with the preschools in the village re each child & assisting them with the transition into school life. Secondary school from there has a good reputation, unlike the one we had as an option when in Perth. Its focus was performing arts. Both were public system. We were in the best public school in the area (perth) primary-school wise & from the outside it looked immaculate (more so than our Uk primary school I'll grant you) Whilst in Perth, I had serious concerns about the school & how it handledbehavioural issues, there was no process in place. Mostly boy class, but teacher seemed to turn a blind eye to stuff. Was only a small class of x15, with a teacher & assistant, so you would think that would be good. Smaller class/better We arrive in the Uk & when I heard it was mostly boys in my son's new class, I groaned!! However, there are x25 kids in the class, & I could not believe on our first day how well these children where behaved, boys all playing nicely but you see they had various charts & incentives which seemed to work incredibly well & the "expectations" or what was expected was clear. Anyway, had we have stayed in Perth, our options were to move, or to sent ourchildren to private catholic schools (which had excellent reputations but go through loops to get into them, understandably because we weren't Catholic) both for primary & secondary. Long & short of it is, for us as a family & our experience in early childhood in Perth & home county in the UK, being back has benefited my sons incredible. Whichever way you're going is about doing your homework, like I say everyones experiences are different. Mine just happens to be better in the Uk! Keep meaning to write an annual update, cant believe we've been back over a year now!

We are in very different times & I guess the question is...... is now the best time to emmigrate to Oz with the exchange rate as it is from pounds to dollars? & the cost of living in some of the daily basics having gone through the roof. The old "its a better life" has to be questioned - does it more refer back to the good ole' days where you sold your house in the Uk, get a fab exchange, so bought & were mortgage free in Oz/Nz? hence, having more free/family time. When I travelled around oz back in 1999 it was as cheap as chips, so with x2 20 something yr olds able to work full time (no kids) we worked, backpacked & lived quite comfortably. Would I move to Oz or even Nz now - x2 young kids, x1 income? Probably not, too risk for us as a family. Would I as a 20 something backpacker looking for adventure go, yes I would. However, research is paramount. I dont know what we would have done had we not been able to afford to come back from Oz to the Uk. Suddenly felt very vunerable, x2 young kids, x1 income & zero support network. Would we have come back with nothing? Probably, but not sure how we would have settled, would have been very hard. I feel for people that end up in that situation, sadly I feel there maybe many more....

Only you will know "when" or even "if" it's right. why do you want to move back? where is it going to benefit you or your family? Start with an end in mind, so to speak? Bottom line is your heart has got to be in it, or it wont work! (same as moving from Uk to Oz) After 12 yrs it will be like re-emmigrating, in that you have to be ready to make a commitment for a period of time & have a plan of what you want from it, really is like starting again. There has to be a number of benefits to the move. It also depends what life you left in Perth & what/where you return to in the UK. We returned after 10 yrs, to a new area (well researched on the interent & somewhere we were enthusiastic about) If we had of returned to my old village, I would have been very disappointing & probably on the next plane back. Went back for a day a couple of weeks ago, Is not as I remember it, looked tired & rubbish over the recreational park was disappointing. (to be fair, it is sandwiched between x2 big towns & on outskirts of London so was inevitable that it would swallowed up in that!) Good luck with whatever you decide. Only advice I would offer is try not to judge the whole Uk on one area (we are all guilty of that, me included!!)

Hi Zee, It is very liberating when you make the decision. We never really thought it an option, so many people telling us we were mad in Oz, no family having anything good to say about the Uk, dog to think about transporting & who didnt travel well from Nz to Perth & x2 kids who we wanted the best for & heading back to a country that was hit in a recession, leaving a country booming. Did a pros and cons list for going & staying & funny enough for our own personal situation, there were more pros than cons! when we actually put it on paper. I felt really scared but excited, then the next stage of rather than a "maybe" it was ACTUALLY possible. Fast forward 18 mths....... home a year, & even now I feel such relief and contentment. Has been a challenging year & like emmigrating again but well worth it. (same as our time in Oz & Nz) I believe you will return, it will take a big dose of courage, some thorough research, & a plan but it will happen! Best of luck.

I lurve this, for x2 reasons! I am back in the Uk & can completely relate to the "being at home" been back a year now but also can relate to your last paragraph about Sydney. We would have moved there from Perth, as enjoyed a year there on our holiday works visa back in 2000 & was fantastic. Ticked alot of boxes (nostalgic ones mostly!) & still have fond memories!