Arrived end Aug and going home again Feb!

Hi,

well like the title says, we arrived end August and will be going home again end Feb/March time. It's just not for me. Not really any one thing i can put my finger on but if you imagine (ladies will understand this more than gents, sorry gents) when you go house hunting, you can look at 20 different 3 bed houses, all with the things you wanted on your must have list, and when you walk into 19 of them you know you don't want to live there, but in the "one" you can feel that it's the place for you. Well that's as close as I can describe it. Unfortunately for me Aus is one of the 19:sad:.

I am trying not to feel too guilty as we always said that if any of us didn't like it we would all come home again, but I wish it wasn't me who didn't like it!

I don't hate it, it just doesn't grab me. I read on here once (gags I think) that life here isn't necessarily better just different, and that's kind of how it feels for me. It will of course be different for everyone and I sincerely hope that it's the opposite for all those of you waiting for the golden ticket.

Anyway, we have decided to stay until the lease on the rental is up, then pootle back off home. In the meantime we are going to make the most of what has turned into an extended holiday, albeit a working one!!!

Good luck to all those waiting.

A rather despondant Nicky.x

thanks Jo

That's what we think. We wont ever have the what if's, cos we did try it.

Still we're all different and it cant be for everyone. Damn shame we couldn't afford to come for a holiday first though...lol...will play havoc with the finances. Hey ho, such is life.

Stick with it mate if you think its for you, I wouldn't tell anyone not to come, you can only try it and see for yourself. You can't judge by other's opinions or experience, it's too personal.

Nicky

I am sorry to hear that things have not worked out for you in Oz and that you want to go home. To be honest I can see what your saying....I think as much as you should give it a go at the same time I think you do know if Oz is for you!! If you know what I mean?

Enjoy the time that you have left here and I wish you lots of luck over the next few months and when you go home!

Deb xx

Good on ya for your honesty! I second Jo`s thoughts. Perhaps I am one of th elucky few - I felt settled pretty much immediatly!

Hi All

I have also decided to go back home. I came over here alone at the end of May and have been here about 6 months. I've previously travelled extensively over most of Oz and absolutely loved it, and decided I wanted to come over here and work and see how I get on.

The reality of it for me is that although I love the country, I can't imagine living here long term.

I guess I also miss my comfortable lifestyle at home. Here I share with a friend and don't have a car and although I have a good job, my lifestyle is definitely of a lower standard than in the UK, which is a bit of a shock to my system.

Being over here has also made me realise how much I value my friends and family and how difficult it will ever be to replicate that in Australia. I have travelled solo a lot over the last 3 or 4 years, so it's not like I am homesick per se, but being in one place, puts into perspective what you have at home.

I think that for people who come over as a couple or with children have a much greater chance of sticking it out as they have more opportunities to meet people. With children, it is a lot easier to meet people I think through taking your kids to extra curricular activities, even by just picking them up from school.

Since I've been here, I've joined dance classes and a gym, so have been making the effort to meet people, but I guess as they say, it gets harder to make friends as you get older.

Good luck to everyone who is heading out here, I hope that it works out for you all!

Karen

Hi All

 

I have also decided to go back home. I came over here alone at the end of May and have been here about 6 months. I've previously travelled extensively over most of Oz and absolutely loved it, and decided I wanted to come over here and work and see how I get on.

 

The reality of it for me is that although I love the country, I can't imagine living here long term.

 

I guess I also miss my comfortable lifestyle at home. Here I share with a friend and don't have a car and although I have a good job, my lifestyle is definitely of a lower standard than in the UK, which is a bit of a shock to my system.

 

Being over here has also made me realise how much I value my friends and family and how difficult it will ever be to replicate that in Australia. I have travelled solo a lot over the last 3 or 4 years, so it's not like I am homesick per se, but being in one place, puts into perspective what you have at home.

 

I think that for people who come over as a couple or with children have a much greater chance of sticking it out as they have more opportunities to meet people. With children, it is a lot easier to meet people I think through taking your kids to extra curricular activities, even by just picking them up from school.

 

Since I've been here, I've joined dance classes and a gym, so have been making the effort to meet people, but I guess as they say, it gets harder to make friends as you get older.

 

Good luck to everyone who is heading out here, I hope that it works out for you all!

 

Karen

:wub:

Good luck to you and good on ya for your honesty! it is good for people coming out here to see that sometimes it really does not work!!

We are a childless couple (not by choice!!) and although we have made some friends and some great ones, nothing will beat the long term friends that we had in UK. We are struggling at the minute with homesickness, moreso as we reach Christmas. We have been here nearly three years. The visits are tailing off, emails are tailing off, letters/cards are now only at Christmas.......however.........

We are STILL staying! We felt settled pretty much immediatly and have bought a house etc. We have acheieved all the objectives that we wanted when we set out for Oz.

For some it will work, for some it wont...................as Frank Sinatra says "Thats Life"

Hi,

 

well like the title says, we arrived end August and will be going home again end Feb/March time. It's just not for me. Not really any one thing i can put my finger on but if you imagine (ladies will understand this more than gents, sorry gents) when you go house hunting, you can look at 20 different 3 bed houses, all with the things you wanted on your must have list, and when you walk into 19 of them you know you don't want to live there, but in the "one" you can feel that it's the place for you. Well that's as close as I can describe it. Unfortunately for me Aus is one of the 19:sad:.

 

I am trying not to feel too guilty as we always said that if any of us didn't like it we would all come home again, but I wish it wasn't me who didn't like it!

 

I don't hate it, it just doesn't grab me. I read on here once (gags I think) that life here isn't necessarily better just different, and that's kind of how it feels for me. It will of course be different for everyone and I sincerely hope that it's the opposite for all those of you waiting for the golden ticket.

 

Anyway, we have decided to stay until the lease on the rental is up, then pootle back off home. In the meantime we are going to make the most of what has turned into an extended holiday, albeit a working one!!!

 

Good luck to all those waiting.

 

A rather despondant Nicky.x

Sorry to hear you find it a struggle to settle down in Oz............... good luck on your return to Blighty.

We used to live in Brisbane and thought it was magic over there. If Brisbane isn't for you though.........instead of heading back to the UK............... have you considered giving it a go elsewhere in Qld...............or even trying another state? It's just that I have seen so many people return to the UK.............. and they can't wait to get back here?

Good luck on whatever you do decide............... it may turn out that during the next 4 months here...... living down-under actually does grow on you............. and you decide to stay!

Hi Nicky,

Sorry to hear it's not turned out to be what you had hoped. I was going to suggest the same as Bobcat, have you thought about going to another state to see if that works for you? I'm sure it will be cheaper than returning to the UK.

However if Oz really isnt for you, then at least you are being honest with yourself and not trying to ignore the fact. Whatever you decide to do Good Luck!

Lou

...this is what i really like and admire about PIO..whatever people write in about..whether it be a small problem or something more serious to discuss there is always someone to answer..and even though advice is given there is also so much support to everyone!:smile:

Im sorry you feel like that.We came over in 2005, arrived in sept and went back to the uk in Jan 06.

I really was not getting used to living here and just wanted to get back to what i had known all my life.We were in the uk for a year,and i just wanted to come back to Australia.We were lucky and came back this year in July.It has been very costly,but we are where we want to be.I was 100% sure i hated Auatralia when i first came,it was only when i went back i realised how wrong i had been.I hope you do not regret your decision like we did.

Good Luck

Hi ,

We travelled all up and down the east coast of Australia before we drove from Sydney too the gold coast , and before that we found that the places we stayed in we liked but ?. As I say when we drove into the Gold coast it just clicked , so forms went in ,visa came and we started living there . It was as though we had been there forever . Too get to that piont we took two years of going over for three month's at a time . All I wounld say is don't burn your bridges behind you .. Bonzer

Hi, thought i'd explain our decision for those of you interested.

We have thought of moving elsewhere in Aus, but......my eldest son is 11 and has done magnificently at changing schools, country and leaving behind his father.

We have discussed it as a family (which is what we do) and he doesn't want to take the chance moving around Australia hoping to find an area we all like. If it doesn't work then he will have been messed around with schooling rather a lot. It's a gamble, and to be honest if it was just me and dh we would probably do the moving around thing and see where it took us, but with kidwangles you can't have it all.

I understand his point of view totally, he wasn't keen on coming in the first place but has done fantastically well although missing his dad enormously. Is it really fair to gamble that we will find somewhere better when you have 2 young boys in tow?? We were if you like selfish once, in coming and trying it, but I don't feel that it would be right to keep trying different areas.

Don't get me wrong, we might find somewhere we all love and be really happy in which case gamble won and all well, but if we don't I will have put him behind at school more and kept him away from his father more etc etc. It's a tough one, and there's not really any right answer.

I can't say that we wont regret the decision when we get home who knows? But we will have to live with it if we do. You can only make decisions based on what you know and your best guess at the rest, believe me, we have been praying for a "vision" so that we know we are doing the right thing, unfortunately it hasn't appeared!!

I would still say to anyone waiting to come, TRY IT. You have nothing to lose except money really, and that's not everything. At best you will find the life of your dreams and be happy ever after, at worst you will have a fantastic if rather expensive holiday which will give you a broader experience of the world!

Thanks for all the good wishes peeps, we really have discussed it to death in our house, but think (and hope) that it's the right decision for us.

Good luck to all on their way or waiting, hopefully you will all find your happy ever after.

Nicky.x

Hi guys

Sorry to hear things are not working out for you, I followed your threads and remembered you as you left the UK similar time to us. We were lucky enough to visit Oz several times before we made the difficult decision to leave the UK with the grandkids etc.

I worried about being in a rental I have always owned my own home and totally agree this the rental situation, we looked at approx 20 places and there was only one that I clicked with and thats where we are.

We are very lucky to have M's uncle here and they have helped us along the way. I have settled much better that I could imagine and am totally enjoying it.

As someone mentioned could you not take a few weeks off and have a look around?? Maybe there is a place that will just click with u?? After all you went through to get here it might be worth a go.

I hope that things work out for you what ever your decision is, the main thing is everyone needs to be happy.

Em x

Hi ...its not for everyone and at least you gave it a try.

We won't be too long behind you we are just waiting for our housebuild to complete.

We are going to enjoy the rest of out time as a holiday...but as you said its been an expensive one:spinny:

Goodluck in your move back I hope all goes wellx

:wub:

Good luck to you and good on ya for your honesty! it is good for people coming out here to see that sometimes it really does not work!!

 

We are a childless couple (not by choice!!) and although we have made some friends and some great ones, nothing will beat the long term friends that we had in UK. We are struggling at the minute with homesickness, moreso as we reach Christmas. We have been here nearly three years. The visits are tailing off, emails are tailing off, letters/cards are now only at Christmas.......however.........

 

We are STILL staying! We felt settled pretty much immediatly and have bought a house etc. We have acheieved all the objectives that we wanted when we set out for Oz.

 

For some it will work, for some it wont...................as Frank Sinatra says "Thats Life"

Your post are always so positive about OZ I was really suprised to read that you are a little homesick. Guess that go's to show that even people who know that they have made the right decision still get homesickness.

I hope you start to feel better soon:wubclub:

Hi Nicky,

It takes a brave person to leave all their family and friends and move to a new country and way of life. It takes an even braver person to admit that that new life is not for them. There's absolutely no shame in going back to a place that you love with people you care for. I think too often people have this idea of going home with their tail between their legs and this shouldn't be how it's viewed. Think of all the people that would love to move to a new country but simply don't have the courage to do so - you made that big step, didn't like it and that's ok.

My OH and I came out to Singapore 3 and half years ago and it took all my strength and willpower not to jump on a plane and head back after being there a year (I've written my first blog on our move if you want to see the long story behind this) but for me, I knew that the reasons that we had left the UK were still there and we wanted to explore other options first. England will always have a place in my heart (especially when sport is being played!) and I'd like to think that there is always the possiblity that we will go 'home' one day but just not right now.

Hope you start to feel better about your decision and if you make a stopover in Singapore on your way back, let me know - I'd be happy to show you some of the sights of Singa!

Ruby Okim xx

Your post are always so positive about OZ I was really suprised to read that you are a little homesick. Guess that go's to show that even people who know that they have made the right decision still get homesickness.

 

I hope you start to feel better soon:wubclub:

Thank you joetrac!

We have settled here but we go thru bouts of homesickness, only natural really!! i used to peak to my mum daily adn see her every other day. I used to see my Nanna at least 2 x a week, see my cousins and aunt/uncle weekly. When we came here it was the biggest gamble for me, leaving people!

I get homesick at Christmas and birthdays as I`d like to be with the family but hey, thats changing! Mum and Dad are going thru the CPV route and will be here mid 2008!! I CANT WAIT!!! Can you tell!

Hi Nicky,

 

It takes a brave person to leave all their family and friends and move to a new country and way of life. It takes an even braver person to admit that that new life is not for them. There's absolutely no shame in going back to a place that you love with people you care for.

 

 

Ruby Okim xx

Those comments are so brilliantly in line with what I would have said . Go with your heart . Australia while being a good country is not for everyone , and all the sunshine and beaches never compensate for the loss of family and friends you leave behind . I've made these comments many times on this site , sometimes I am castigated for my openess , but thats is the way I see it , and always will . All the very best and I know you will resettle back in Blighty and look towards the future .

I also admire the honesty shared here. Sometimes you have to dip your toe in the water and see. And its never a mistake, it learning.

Moving so far away is brave and I'm also in the camp of 'at least you tried'. Well done, you should be very proud of yourself.

I know that out of the 2 of us it will be me that struggles with settling and being homesick. I have a stronger bond with my family and a little person to leave - my neice.

We have promised ourselves to live 2 years in oz before deciding anything. I realise we will have moments where we hang on tight to each other but I hope we make our 2 yr time span.

Interesting, your comment about having a holiday first - note made :yes:

Bonnie (Clyde at work)

I found this post quite wonderful in terms of the honesty and heartfelt feelings written and also the lovely replies by everyone on Poms in Oz who replied with so much help and thought. I would like to wish you and your family all the best wishes and luck in the World for the future with your return to England, and hope your young lad will be happy and no doubt so pleased to see his Dad again. You have tried a different experience for your family for your future happiness and OK you may think now it hasn't worked, but if you return home and start again and life is then happy, who's to say that this whole experience to Australia hasn't helped and shaped your future for you all.

Good Luck from us both. We are just hoping and praying that we are not writing the same post as you in a few months time, we move in January and it really is a case of fingers crossed at the moment, as we look for inspiration from everywhere.

Emmy Green

Hi Nicky and karen, I'm sorry too that it hasn't worked for you but you followed your dream. As Johatts said, it's good that people can be honest and hightlight that it isn't for everyone and it helps put things into perspective. (certainly living here is different than being on holiday)

Good luck to you both on your return to the UK

Ali

I found this post quite wonderful in terms of the honesty and heartfelt feelings written and also the lovely replies by everyone on Poms in Oz who replied with so much help and thought. I would like to wish you and your family all the best wishes and luck in the World for the future with your return to England, and hope your young lad will be happy and no doubt so pleased to see his Dad again. You have tried a different experience for your family for your future happiness and OK you may think now it hasn't worked, but if you return home and start again and life is then happy, who's to say that this whole experience to Australia hasn't helped and shaped your future for you all. Good Luck from us both. We are just hoping and praying that we are not writing the same post as you in a few months time, we move in January and it really is a case of fingers crossed at the moment, as we look for inspiration from everywhere.

 

Emmy Green

 

 

Got to Agree Emmy:

Well said, and to the rest of you for your considerate and helpful suggestions, I second them. I'm sure it is natural for folks like us making The Move to be curious about those who went for it, found it didn't suit & are considering a return. I'm sure we can benefit from those experiences.

I don't think one can say that this has been a bad/wrong move at all, (costly for sure) but for any of you that tried, then decided to return, it could be considered as a life-changing, if not life-enhancing experience. When I first went to America, my situation was difficult,.!!**!!..... & there were many times over the first couple years that I questioned what I'd done! But then I realized that my situation might suck, but the country didn't, nor the people, and little by little the place seeped into my system so much so, that it still feels like HOME, even though I had to leave some years ago.

Myself, I can't say hand on heart that Oz will be for me, any more than UK is, as I love America,:sad: but I'm willing to pursue this Adventure, hopeful that it will be a positive move: :jiggy:(as England doesn't really have the pull on us that it has for others here, if we could speak the language we'd probably be happy in other parts of Europe!)

However, making a move to OZ is a huge decision, leaving all ones family & mates behind; it's very costly; every nook & cranny of your life is investigated, poked & scrutinized, so it's not a choice anyone takes lightly! Therefore, we have to have a certain amount of optimism that it will be a positive improvement over our current situation & prospects; and as we've never owned our home & never could here/now, the prospect of having a place of our own is a big attraction. And chances are it could be the best thing we ever do - but unless we go, we'll never know & OH is not prepared to accept that risk! And, if we really hate it or find it's not for us, then at least we'll have learned that first-hand, as you guys have, plus have the memories & experiences to go forward into the next Big Adventure!... Vaguely relevant memories comes to mind regarding dreams:.. Living your dream... Not letting anyone steal your dreams... & Not settling for a walk-on part in someone else's dream...

Our wishes go with you all for success & happiness in wherever Life Leads you in whatever you do - all the Very Best... :spinny: Nothing ventured, nothing gained - Life's an adventure??

Herbster

XX

Hi, thought i'd explain our decision for those of you interested.

 

We have thought of moving elsewhere in Aus, but......my eldest son is 11 and has done magnificently at changing schools, country and leaving behind his father.

 

We have discussed it as a family (which is what we do) and he doesn't want to take the chance moving around Australia hoping to find an area we all like. If it doesn't work then he will have been messed around with schooling rather a lot. It's a gamble, and to be honest if it was just me and dh we would probably do the moving around thing and see where it took us, but with kidwangles you can't have it all.

 

I understand his point of view totally, he wasn't keen on coming in the first place but has done fantastically well although missing his dad enormously. Is it really fair to gamble that we will find somewhere better when you have 2 young boys in tow?? We were if you like selfish once, in coming and trying it, but I don't feel that it would be right to keep trying different areas.

 

Don't get me wrong, we might find somewhere we all love and be really happy in which case gamble won and all well, but if we don't I will have put him behind at school more and kept him away from his father more etc etc. It's a tough one, and there's not really any right answer.

 

I can't say that we wont regret the decision when we get home who knows? But we will have to live with it if we do. You can only make decisions based on what you know and your best guess at the rest, believe me, we have been praying for a "vision" so that we know we are doing the right thing, unfortunately it hasn't appeared!!

 

I would still say to anyone waiting to come, TRY IT. You have nothing to lose except money really, and that's not everything. At best you will find the life of your dreams and be happy ever after, at worst you will have a fantastic if rather expensive holiday which will give you a broader experience of the world!

 

Thanks for all the good wishes peeps, we really have discussed it to death in our house, but think (and hope) that it's the right decision for us.

 

Good luck to all on their way or waiting, hopefully you will all find your happy ever after.

 

Nicky.x

Hi Nicky,

What a post, we wish you and your family all the VERY best.

KP Nuts

Wow what an interesting read!!

We're going out for a holiday for over a month in December, house sold(we fancy a change whatever!!) Then if we feel that it's for us up, up & away.

BUT when you hear all in the gardens not rosy, I must say I panic a bit!! I bit most people who go in all honesty hope they're gonna find the promised land!

My Oh has his own buisness as a roofer in the Uk but with all the Inland Revenues tax saving penalties issued it's becoming toomuch of a nightmare to continue diong this anyway,

Option B is to back to an employee where up North the pays crap & he'd have to work 6 days to get an OK wage.... SO

If he worked in Oz for crap money would we be worse off?? We'd be able to go mortgage free, not have to spend rediculous amount of money entertaining the kids cos the weathers so crap most of the year in the UK its got to be indoor etc etc.

Soz for waffling but its the dilemma, hopefully after our month we'll just know!!

Good luck all, whatever anyone decides!!

Michele xx

HI - I totally get where you are coming from - HOWEVER - think long and hard if you really want to go back. What is it you really miss? friends? Family? Money? Yes it is different here - but then if it was like the UK, then it would not be Australia would it? Friends take time, I bet it took years to get good one's over in the UK, but we all seem to forget that. Family is tricky - they tell you they will write and come to see you, but the reality is they carry on without you and sometimes only 1/2 get to see you. Again that was a choice you made and you should not be too surprised now. Sorry to sound a bit harsh but we have done this twice now. Once from UK to New Zealand and now to here. Yes, people get pissed off with you for travelling and you can not expect them to follow you but you have to weigh up what is important to you here. Money is definately better in the UK, but look at the crap you get over there. People are so nice and freindly here, it is safer for kids and the weather is brill. Also if you think Australia is backwards then never go to NZ! The population there is less for the whole country than there are people in Birmingham!

I would agree with someone else who wrote back to you, and that is maybe go back for a holiday. A lot of people go back for this and realise how nice it is here. An expensive way to find out, but better and cheaper than shipping all your stuff back only to return a year later! Also you can see family and friends and discuss. Just a thought...Anyway, good luck with your decision, hope you come to the right one and don't regret anything in the end.