mrsindecision Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I don't site beaches. I speak from experience. I raised my children in both places and found that once I really settled (and it took a good three years of determined effort, not constantly looking back) it was easier to raise children in what IMO was a more healthy enviromnment. But everyone has their own feelings and should do what suits them, which if one sentence was not isoltaed from my whole reply, was what I said first time around. There are no right or wrongs, only what suits the individual and their family. I just think that in a forum such as this you cannot get a balanced view as most reading it are also wanting to go back. So, that said I wish everyone that wants to go back well, and those that want to stay the same. Be happy and whatever you choose be aware there will always be bad days and there will always be good days. Sharon PS not cold at all in Uk right now - its scorchio - my daughter has never been out so much and at 16 loves being able to come home that little bit later every night as it stays lighter - think she's going to enjoy a teenage summer in UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Three Dee Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 The decision is yours and I really do hope that you make thr one thats right for you. I moved out to Australia with my husband and 3 children after living there for a while I decided that I wanted to go home to the UK. After some talking with my husband he gave up his job and we moved back. I now want so much to go back to Australia I love the UK and my family that live here but now know that it's not for us. I wish the best for you in whatever decision you make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 COngratulations on the baby x Good Luck with your decision, it is by no means an easy one and in this thread you have probably got the varied views you need. Those that say go back, those that are here not being able to go back etc etc and those that say get residency. If I am preaching to the choir so to speak, I apologise but I would be looking at why you want to leave Oz. Is it home sickness, peoplesick?? Get to really what the issue is. We cant determine that for you from what you tell us , only you know that. I would be talking to your husband/partner about how you both feel. What makes him want to stay against what makes you want to go??? Benefits and pitfalls of staying for residency. One huge benefit is that you would have a PR visa! If you went home (while on your 457) and decided Australia was for you, the visa process would start again. You are right about hours on a 457, you have to work full time. PR has no limitations on it. I wish you every happiness with your child and every piece of luck and best wishes I have with your decision. Please let us know how you go....... Joanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilton Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Is there not a certain period you have to return to Oz before you lose your residency? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rinkerdink Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Hi, just chucking a couple of pennies in, My (now wife) fell pregnant while on a whv 10 years ago, despite a few aussies recommending we stay to have the baby we left citing all the support network BS. We get along fine with family but people tend to over egg the effect of having family close by in terms of how much easier it makes bringing up kids. You still have problems and unless you are very close geographically to family it isn't a free childcare service on tap. Anyway fast forward 10 years and after 2& half years of great expense we now have a visa to return with. Looking forward to enjoying daylight for more than 4 months a year. Now have 2 kids, 10 and 7 and while i earn what the vast majority of people would call a cracking wage i have serious concerns for the majority once the May pay packets arrive less the additional taxes compounded by the huge inflation and duty rises. It isn't all rosy in the UK and peoples perception of it is set to get considerably worse over the next few months and years, it is going to bite right about now. I want to be where the sun shines and there is a positive outlook on life, just wish we'd listened to the advice all those years ago that although it wouldn't have stopped us coming home would have given us ongoing options and opportunities, i think the OP needs to consider how much things change in 5 years let alone 10 and think hard on avenues and doors that will be closed depending on this decision. On another note think its a bit rich advising the OP to get the hell out of dodge and so she can effectively force her OH to stay in the UK if she wants to later, hypocrisy and double standards i think, what happened to trust and dialogue in a relationship, the overwhelming majority of men are not manipulative b*stards, makes me want to put a spiderman suit on and climb a building. Good luck whatever you decide but think carefully on your long term future options. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 It's been said numerous times before but obviously it is very different for everyone. Where we lived in England we had daylight all year round, not sure what 4 months of daylight means to be honest ? Huge inflation ? Last I heard it fell in the UK and rose here. Millions live very comfortably in both countries, all our friends still have the same lives they had 1 year ago or 5 years ago. Best of luck with your move back, for many it is the reverse move that is the answer to their problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 At the end of the day everyone has differing opinions on the move and the whys and wherefores. I wish everyone making the move all the best and hope that you get what you wish for x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophia777 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Follow your heart, work issues have a way of working themselves out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rinkerdink Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 It's been said numerous times before but obviously it is very different for everyone. Where we lived in England we had daylight all year round, not sure what 4 months of daylight means to be honest ? Huge inflation ? Last I heard it fell in the UK and rose here. Millions live very comfortably in both countries, all our friends still have the same lives they had 1 year ago or 5 years ago. Best of luck with your move back, for many it is the reverse move that is the answer to their problems. Come on Chris, useful daylight, like summer evening time, seeing daylight before and after work and not just living for the weekends, it is quickly forgotten how gloomy it is for most of the year here i'm just being realistic not slagging the place, October to April you are either leaving for work or getting home in darkness Nov to March you get the double ender! Reserve judgement until after the May payday, boy is it gonna land heavy. Little or no pay increase for most for 3 years everything has gone up as it always will and now a lovely paycut courtesy of the govt. I'm sweet but i predict a bit of bad feeling about it all, can't wait for the family tax credit cuts that are on the horizon, we'll be £150 a month down that isn't a big deal for me but i count myself lucky, it's gonna sting the masses imo Don't want to hijack thread just a bit of balance, it ain't great here at the moment and it won't be for a good while yet, the negative press probably make it feel worse than it is and unless you are blind and deaf it's not easy to get away from the widespread pessimism. I realise Australia isn't heaven but the UK is further from heaven that its has been in my living memory, i read the relative average disposable income is comparable to the 1920's :shocked: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenpasha Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Thanks all. The situation is slightly complicated by the fact that I'm desperate to leave my job... I contacted a recruitment agency in London to find out what the market there is like and they sent me 3 job specs within 20 mins, all for £10k higher than I was on this time last year when I was still there. Moving back sooner rather than later would mean getting settled before buying a house and getting a mortgage before a baby arrives, so we wouldn't start TTC until then anyway.... I know a year isn't that long and that it could well be a good idea to leave the door open for a return, but getting pregnant here would mean my career prospects would be frozen until I go back after the baby is born, moving to the UK with a baby, the choice of crap maternity benefits in Aus or no maternity benefits in the UK... I can't make up my mind whether any of that really matters or whether I'm worrying about the "what ifs" too much. We also have a really good group of friends back home and we're very close to our parents, so that is a big pull - specially when considering children. ARGH - really confuzzled at the mo think about it there are no guarantees you will get pregnant immediately and if you do the baby wont be born for a while so try getting pregnant now and decide nearer the birth that give you more time to get your papers in order :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 That's fair enough, it just doesn't sound like the England I remember that's all. We will be working from home so for us personally it isn't an issue. Gloomy for most of the year ? What part of the UK do you live if you don't mind me asking ? Come on Chris, useful daylight, like summer evening time, seeing daylight before and after work and not just living for the weekends, it is quickly forgotten how gloomy it is for most of the year here i'm just being realistic not slagging the place, October to April you are either leaving for work or getting home in darkness Nov to March you get the double ender!: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rinkerdink Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 That's fair enough, it just doesn't sound like the England I remember that's all. We will be working from home so for us personally it isn't an issue.Gloomy for most of the year ? What part of the UK do you live if you don't mind me asking ? I'm in kent and work in London, it is lovely and sunny here today :-) I imagine i'm looking back at Australia with rose tints as i imagine you are with UK, that is only natural i suppose but memories tend to blur very fast, i think the OP would be better of popping the baby out before coming home as getting a visa can be a right ball ache! I think its always best to keep yuor options open Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Of course there is always an element of that but it's interesting talking of hours of daylight that the UK seems to have more hours of daylight for much of the year especially when compared to up here near the tropics. I wanted to make sure I wasn't seeing everything through rose tinted glasses so I went to the UK last year to check and was pleasantly surprised. I think those who have moved they tend to look at things in a negative light which reinforces their decision, there is nothing wrong with that, it is perfectly normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest famousfive Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Speaking of usefull daylight......I come from the west of Ireland where it is bright until 11pm mid-summer so you have plenty of daylight after work for leisure etc...It is bright until about 9pm there at the minute.In oz on the other hand[nsw mid north coast]it gets dark early and most of the extra daylight is early mornings........not that useful to me personally as there is only one 5o'clock in my day...and it certainly is not A.M. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilton Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I get home at 5.30pm from work and its dark in Brisbane, this is the same all year round, really limits what you can do in the evenings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 We are on daylight saving here in Tasmania, the summer days are lovely and long, becoming dark around 9.30pm, which we love. Its now dark at around 6pm. Scotland was dark at around 10.30 - 11pm and light at 3am during the summer... I love the seasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Yes exactly, thats why I thought it was an odd comment about daylight hours, apart from the real depths of winter in the UK the days are as long or indeed very much longer. Speaking of usefull daylight......I come from the west of Ireland where it is bright until 11pm mid-summer so you have plenty of daylight after work for leisure etc...It is bright until about 9pm there at the minute.In oz on the other hand[nsw mid north coast]it gets dark early and most of the extra daylight is early mornings........not that useful to me personally as there is only one 5o'clock in my day...and it certainly is not A.M. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rinkerdink Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Yes exactly, thats why I thought it was an odd comment about daylight hours, apart from the real depths of winter in the UK the days are as long or indeed very much longer. From what i remember the west coast of ireland has a similar climate to wales due to the prevailing winds of the atlantic. I am amazed at these daylight times you guys are quoting 11pm to 3am nights!!:shocked:, i simply cannot comprehend this. The days of sunshine might be worth comparing too. I think the answer might be to get up early, seize the day and go to bed earlier. In short keep to hours that australians do and not the hours of brits abroad. I know it is easy to say but we intend to adjust our lifes to suit and i can't see any other way it could work. It's like those holiday makers than shun the spanish food on holiday for steak and chips and a full english. Give me a nice bit of calamari any day.:jiggy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mozziebite Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Hello Monstermunch, its a tough dilemma but it does help getting it off your chest doesnt it, even on these boards, it must be really playing on your mind, hopefully you will arrive at a decision soon on where you want to be. From my point of view and chucking my pennies in, the social/emotional factors far outweighed the material stuff with our decision to return home. My kids were unhappy in Oz - I think its an age thing, they were older and missed their old lives, friends and family, even schools (!) despite my efforts to get them involved, sleepovers, pals round, joining footie, scouts etc. the crux of it was they wanted to go home. On our return we had to rent a tiny house for a while, all of us slept on airbeds with begged and borrowed stuff til our container arrived and til we got on our feet sorting financial stuff out but we were home and happy to be home somehow the other stuff didn;t matter....I know you have a baby coming so some financial security is important - maybe you could work full time in the UK until your OH got a job and then go down to 3 days if thats what you want? It's nice for kids to know their cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles etc but remember many get by without this support network, you will meet people through the baby and will sort your own support network out in time over in Oz should you decide to stay. Also I'm sorry but I don't buy this kids have a better life in Aus malarkey - everything my kids did in Aus they do here, scouts, cycling, walking, footie etc etc, somethings they do more of because of the heat in Aus (cycling, playing out all day), somethings they do less of because of the cold here (swimming) The best advice I had was to go with your gut feeling and what you feel deep down, you can write lists detailing the positives in one column and negatives in the other but deep down you know. Good luck whatever happens, both countries fab places to live, its where you'll be happiest that counts x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
friedparsley Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 If you are living right - in your head, you can live anywhere. I was living right before coming to Aus, but coming here knocked me to bits. It took a long time to get it all together again. Going back home seems right. It doesn't matter about weather, state of economy etc. if it feels right - it is right. Heaven or hell exists in your mind. Thats all that matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 100% right. If you are living right - in your head, you can live anywhere. I was living right before coming to Aus, but coming here knocked me to bits. It took a long time to get it all together again. Going back home seems right. It doesn't matter about weather, state of economy etc. if it feels right - it is right. Heaven or hell exists in your mind. Thats all that matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ph0en1x Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 100% right. 200% Right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest north west Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Yep. 5 years. Stay away longer & they will want $2500 for you to reapply & you will be waiting a while for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluxsta Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Hi all, I wondered if you might be interested in an update... I'm just as confused, and perhaps even more stressed than when I originally wrote this post... because... I'm pregnant. So I was pretty homesick during the first couple of months of the year but then for reasons I can't fathom out, got over it and decided to just embrace being in Australia whilst it lasted and enjoy being selfish before kids come along. Work-wise, I'd finally made contact with a prospective employer but hadn't heard back for weeeeeeeeks, so had decided to (again) just embrace my current job and get on with it. Then - the prospective employer calls on the Monday to say that they are still interested, I pop in to have another chat and they say they'll get back to me asap with an offer. On the Friday I find out I'm pregnant. Sod's law really. I'm expecting the job offer this week and I'm freaking out about what to do about it. If I take it, it means staying here to have the baby (no idea what maternity pay/leave I'll be entitled to as I would've been there for a measly 6 months). It also means we'd need to commit to Australia in general for longer seeing as I'd presumably go back to the job after mat leave. In terms of childcare, I imagine sproglet would need to go to daycare 5 days a week (which I don't love the idea of it). If I went home, I can keep my current job and take 13 months of paid maternity leave, possibly return 3 days a week and have friends and family close by to help out. But, I dislike my boss, haven't got any prospects and effectively stunt my career by staying. OH seems to have more work here in Oz too and we definitely earn more. So I feel all in a tizz as what is the right thing to do... 1. Go home. Be close to friends and family and have more mat leave. Turn down fab job opportunity, risk OH not getting work, earn less. 2. Stay in Oz. Be far from friends and family, have less mat leave. Take fab job offer, OH still able to get lots of work, earn lots of $$. ARGH. I don't want to move home and regret it... I'd love to be close to the parentals, but they also drive me up the wall. What the frick do we do? Congrats on the baby!! Seems like a right pickle. So difficult when little ones are on the way. We are coming over and have 18 month old twins and a 4 year old. When my babies were born all care about jobs, maternity leave etc went out the window and priorities changed, so it is possible that when baby is born you may feel a whole lot differently. i wouldn't relish the prospect of day care for 5 days a week for a small baby! There is no way that i would send any of babies when they were little to nursery. Those early days can never be re-captured and I sure as hell am not that passionate about any job that I would sacrifice my family life...... good luck in whatever you decide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MonsterMunch Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Hi guys - sorry I've not been back on here, but have another update for you.... We've decided to go home. Initially I was thinking "Sod it, let's stay, I can do it" and then I came home from work one night and sobbed my heart out knowing that I couldn't stay and that going home is the right thing to do. OH was a little upset at the thought of leaving Sydney 6 months before we were supposed to and eventually confessed he'd secretly hoped I would want to stay here for good. But we jointly decided that we should head back to the UK. I turned down fancy new job before I even had the final offer as I didn't want the financial side of things to sway me. That felt like a huge weight off my mind and they were very understanding. I'm 100% sure it's the 'right' thing to do and whilst it's not going to be easy, I'm pretty excited. We should've banked about $80k by the time we go home, so the fact that we'll have some cash behind us makes it a bit better. OH is ok about it too and whilst I think he's a little sad, he also knows it'll be great seeing everyone again. My 12 week scan is on 31st May and (all being well) after that we'll start to tell people. I'm a bit nervous about telling my cow-bag boss as she has a distinct aversion for pregnant people, so I'm half expecting her to be a bit difficult about things, but we'll see.. I cannot wait to tell everyone else though - our parents will be delighted and so will our friends and knowing that makes it all the more worth going home. My best friend is expecting her 2nd baby in September, and I know she'll be so chuffed that our babies will be close in age. Practically, once the scan is all done we're planning to pack up our flat and get our stuff shipped towards the end of June and then move into a furnished property (same place we first moved into when we got here) until end of August and then fly home. I've got some lovely colleagues in Singapore so we'll stop off there and say hi and bye to them. OH's parents go on holiday for 2 weeks early September so we're hoping we can stay there whilst we look for somewhere to rent (most likely a flat)... I'd always hoped we would have bought a house before having kids, and don't love the idea of having a baby in a flat, but if I've learnt anything recently it's that life doesn't go the way you plan it, so that won't be the end of the world... I do hope though that we can get a mortgage using my salary only (OH is self-employed) before my salary dips due to maternity pay. But if we can't, it's not going to kill us... I'm so looking forward to going back to where I know, being walking distance to my mum's house, my dad's house, my friends' houses, being around for the Olympics, Wimbledon, not missing out on parties and weddings, having cheap access to Europe, decent TV, getting recommendations for baby stuff, seeing my baby with all the people I love, having a decent range of clothes shops... Some of that may sound fickle, but in short - I can't wait! So yeah, in summary - the current plan is: End of June - move out of current flat, into furnished place, ship bits home End of August - fly home Start of Sept - find lovely flat to rent for 6 months Nov - apply for mortgage and buy beautiful house Mid-Nov - finish up with work using annual leave 1 Dec - maternity leave officially starts 11 Dec - baby due 2012 - surrounded by lovely friends and family, move into lovely house which will coincide with 6 months rent being up Jan 2013 - back to work If all this goes to plan it will be a minor miracle! I may pop back in here once in a while to let you know how it's going if you're at all interested?? Thanks for listening (reading!) my waffle x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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