Guest keithx1 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 HI long time lurker first time poster, i was wondering what time piriod people were giving it b4 heading back? km Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest17301 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Hard to say as someone who settled immediately but I'd say depends on why its not working and what you dislike, somethings can change (job/area etc) other things can't (heat/people/overall vibe of the place I think if id arrived and hated it Id have found it hard to take advice of people urging me to give it a few more months...though hasty decisions are bad your gut is usually right and Welcome Keith...lurk no longer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 people say that you have to give australia 2 years--this by the rule of thumb is the time it takes to settle down with jobs/family/and a certain grounding of australia--ive known people from the uk who have only given australia 6 months,and returned to the uk--there decision was based on lack of work in the ares they chose to live--they had 3 children,and a rental to pay for--the husband just could not get work,and refused to jump through hoops to get his trade reconised when in australia (carpenter) they spent £30,000 on trying for there dream,and left hating australia--for anyone who want to make australia a success,please do you research,and then do some more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bobby Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Give it at least 2 years, people must try and get into the lifestyle and change of life before heading home IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 As resettling in a new country costs a lot of money I personally would give it a good go. I would think I had wasted my money otherwise. Research, research and knowledge of what you need in your life. I believe if we really know what is important to us we make the right decisions. Write a list of what you want and what is non negotiable. Living without close family is one that raises its head all the time and this is a big consideration as 12000 km is not just popping to the next town, or village in UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I think you know from the start whether it will be for you in the long run or not. It is perfectly possible to settle quite nicely but still not "belong" and need to move on eventually. How long you give it to become desensitized really depends on your circumstances I would say. If you have teenage kids then you probably would want to limit the damage to their education and to get them back to the UK system perhaps quicker than if you have little kids who can still flit between systems with minimal impact. Obviously if you cant find a job or the job you can find cant support you and your family then you might want to think about nicking off quite quickly. If your (or any of your family) show signs of mental health distress then you might want to go sooner rather than later. If you get a better offer somewhere else then you should take it no matter how long you have been here. I think the trick is not to burn any bridges no matter what you do - I really regret having sold our house in Bristol before we left but hindsight is perfect vision. I also recommend making active decisions about where you want to be rather than just going with the flow - that has led me to being trapped here. Despite all appearances that I have settled very well (and I guess I could be a poster child for that, I even have the accent) I have known from day 1 that this isnt the place I want to grow old and end my days in and the older I have got the more evident that is. It is very easy to have an adventure/holiday approach to living here but eventually you want to go home. I think the 2 year thing used to be because that was the time it took to get citizenship but now it is 4 years and if you are living with discomfort for that length of time then it becomes more difficult. I think you can make the decision quite rationally after 6 weeks (as I have known some to do because of work/finances/mental health) but you probably stand a greater chance of pingpongpingpongpinging than if you give it a bit longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 HI long time lurker first time poster, i was wondering what time piriod people were giving it b4 heading back? km To be honest, it is like asking how long is a piece of string. Some folks come and know instantly they will settle, other will know instantly that its wrong for them. If you are unsure, then have an escape plan. Make plans before you arrive about what to do if you do not like it in Australia. I think you will feel better if you do not feel trapped here and know that if it all goes wrong you can go home. I love it here, but I also know people who hate it here. Unfortunately Australia is not the ideal world for everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawny Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 We were dead set on giving it the said 2 years, But it doesn't always work out that way! You know pretty early on if things will work out ! We sat down and worked out what we were paying monthly to see two years through compared to what we would pay out at the time to return to the uk! No point in looking back on the money spent getting us there in the first place, as this we would never get back! It was an experience i for one don't regret in anyway! Just feeling a little bit down that it didn't work for us at that time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ashmalog Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 i know someone that is going back to the uk after only 3 months. i personally would give it longer or move to a different state but when people go back it tends to make them appreciate what they had in the first place. its not for everyone and the cost is not important. being happy is and i am very happy here after 13 months in this amazing country, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SophieKin Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 HI long time lurker first time poster, i was wondering what time piriod people were giving it b4 heading back? km We said two years but saying that it is a long time if you are unhappy from day 1. Some people will know as soon as they arrive if it is not for them. I knew from day 1 that I couldn't spend the rest of my life here, however I have managed to stick it out long enough to know for sure that I am making the right decision to return home. I agree with Quoll that a lot of people used to say 2 years to enable them to get citizenship. but now it is four years, it is much too long if you are unhappy here. I can understand how people return after a couple of months as many have the opportunity to go back to old jobs etc, I know a few people who have been lucky enough to do this. Good Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I dont think I would recommend trying to stick it out for 2 years if you know in your heart it isn't where you want to be. I have always said that I think you realise very quickly if it is right for you. There are of course those who aren't really sure but they are different again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest brispark Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Interesting question and it is down to personal preference. I have pingponged. Arrived in 2006 stayed six weeks disliked oz realised i had made a mistake so went back. Since then i have had two children and have now been back in brisbane for a year. Personally i believe i made the correct decision in 2006, but i realise at the moment that nothing is really happening in the uk so i am trying to stick it for another year when i will evaluate again. Will i grow old here. I hope not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coast to coast Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 HI we have been here 5 1/2 yrs nearly and are going back as soon as the house sells. We said we would give it a couple of years, but glad to be returning home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stovies Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 After about a year or so of arriving in Australia, we said "okay, let's just give it one more year ..." Well, almost 12 years on, we still feel the same and will be going back to the UK this year : ). We kept waiting for our feelings to change and we tried all different kinds of things to make us feel settled but it just didn't happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
friedparsley Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 This is a big subject, and trying to get my head round an answer to it is difficult. We have been here for 27 years, at first I didn't like it and now I'm just used to it. When we lived in the UK it was a case of familiarity bred contempt, the everyday was commonplace and mundane. Australia would be much better we thought, bright modern and all that sunshine. Now I've had enough sunshine to last a lifetime. Back home I was comfortably alive, I knew where everything was and where to get everything. Australia was going to be an adventure, but instead was a bewildering experience at first. Everybody else seemd to be raving about it, but I was struggling and that made it worse. I guess I know where to get everything and have everything I need now. I'm retired on a good pension and want for nothing, BUT Australia is not my home land and never will be. We have gone back home for holidays 3 years running. 1st year it rained all the time and everywhere seemed dirty and tatty. 2nd year it looked a bit better and last year we felt at home again. I find everything back there very interesting. Looking across the countryside of my home county, I got a feeling of belonging, and many memories from long ago come back again. I said to my wife last year, " ïf someone told you you couldn't go back to Australia and had to stay here, would it bother you?" She said not at all, I said I felt the same way. But here we are going through another summer of baking temperatures, groundhog day every day. The days crawl bye, but the years fly away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marcusev Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 It's a tough question, but I think if anyone has a 2yr VISA, why not stick it out for the period of time, if you can find some work and earn a bit of cash to at least travel around a bit and see the country before making a final call... Having said that, after 4years here I wanted to go back, but then got divorced (not because of the move), but felt I needed a change. Met someone else and stayed another 3years, then wanted to move back last year, then decided to give it another 12 months and finally have made the decision, after 9years here, to head back home. Part of me says to give it another year and make some changes, but I keep doing the same and as I'm pushing 40, I'd like to settle somewhere, meet someone and start a family and if you're heart isn't settled where you are, you need to follow it sometimes. Good luck with whatever decision you make.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ggardemma Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I think you know from the start whether it will be for you in the long run or not. It is perfectly possible to settle quite nicely but still not "belong" and need to move on eventually. How long you give it to become desensitized really depends on your circumstances I would say. If you have teenage kids then you probably would want to limit the damage to their education and to get them back to the UK system perhaps quicker than if you have little kids who can still flit between systems with minimal impact. Obviously if you cant find a job or the job you can find cant support you and your family then you might want to think about nicking off quite quickly. If your (or any of your family) show signs of mental health distress then you might want to go sooner rather than later. If you get a better offer somewhere else then you should take it no matter how long you have been here. I think the trick is not to burn any bridges no matter what you do - I really regret having sold our house in Bristol before we left but hindsight is perfect vision. I also recommend making active decisions about where you want to be rather than just going with the flow - that has led me to being trapped here. Despite all appearances that I have settled very well (and I guess I could be a poster child for that, I even have the accent) I have known from day 1 that this isnt the place I want to grow old and end my days in and the older I have got the more evident that is. It is very easy to have an adventure/holiday approach to living here but eventually you want to go home. I think the 2 year thing used to be because that was the time it took to get citizenship but now it is 4 years and if you are living with discomfort for that length of time then it becomes more difficult. I think you can make the decision quite rationally after 6 weeks (as I have known some to do because of work/finances/mental health) but you probably stand a greater chance of pingpongpingpongpinging than if you give it a bit longer. Pretty soon after arriving we felt it wasn't for us. I have already said I couldn't buy a house here so there you go that speaks volumes. Quoll you have hit the nail on the head for us because we have a 15 year old and it really is a case of damage limitation to her education. If we hadn't got this concern we could stick it out and see if it got better. If we do not go back now we have to stay for the long term because she needs the stability and if she does HSC it opens up a whole host of extra things to consider on returning to UK. She would then be classed as an international student for Uni. You offer very wise words and I always appreciate what you have to say. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aharcall Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Hi we are a family of four with two teenage sons who were 16 and 14 at the time. We stayed 7 mths Sept 09 to April 10 on the sunshine coast. We have now been home in our old house nearly 9 mths and are quite happy. There were lots of reasons we came home and looking back we think there are a lot of things that we did wrong. A close family member died a week before we were due to fly out and we had to rebook flights. It was the hardest thing I have ever done emotionally. We still have two years left on our permanent resident visa and both my boys are now making noises about going back to Oz, the youngest because he has realised he actually liked living there and the oldest because of wanting to go to university and being put off by uni fees in the UK. Both my hubbie and I have discussed the whole episode and at the moment are not ruling out trying again in two years before our chance slips away for good and our visa runs out. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I find I am now missing things about Oz and the sunshine coast (quiet as it was). Who knows what the future holds but I will say to anyone thinking about moving to Oz - do it as you will not understand the emotions of it all until you actually do it. Dont listen to anyone who has sat on their butts in the Uk or Oz and never moved anywhere. It could work for you and then it again it might not but life is for living and we dont regret our move (both ways) at all. It has left us all with a much better understanding of life and what is important to us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marcusev Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 We still have two years left on our permanent resident visa and both my boys are now making noises about going back to Oz, the youngest because he has realised he actually liked living there and the oldest because of wanting to go to university and being put off by uni fees in the UK. I think you have the right mindset..It's not a bad life here, especially for kids (even though I have none of my own).. My theory is that if I come back to live, I'd prefer to bring a family with me - I think it's suited for a family - or if you're in your 20s One thing though is that for your eldest - the uni fees here are quite high as well. Look into HECS Debt.. Basically they start taking the debt from your tax/salary to pay it off - similar concept.. I know some people have around $30,000 of HECS debt - not a great start to your adult life, but it's manageable - as they just slowly chip away at it. If you have the 2yrs - I wouldn't rule it out. It's certainly worth giving it another go - just realise what you didn't do before to make it better.. You might be surprised, like I was, and end up staying longer - even permanently... Good luck with whatever you decide.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MonsterMunch Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Out of interest, those of you who have returned to the UK - how easy was it to get things like credit cards and mortgages? We're thinking of a move home and I'm concerned we're going to get caught renting for ages before being able to buy - specially as OH is self-employed so we'll be using my salary only. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aharcall Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 We didnt sell our house and kept our credit cards so didnt have a problem. Also we we were lucky that my hubbie got a good job nearly as soon as we got back and i got back into temping too which led to a full time job not long after. Dont think it would have been such an easy decision for us to come back if we had sold our house. (not sure it thats good or not really). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseBrown1972 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I'm a bit late joining this thread but after looking through the moving back to the uk section, its the first one thats really helped and made me realise its not just me who hasn't felt right from day 1, just an instinct that its not right here for me, I get that Perth is a nice place but as each day goes by its just not worth what we gave up, I've only been here 3 months and realisticly will have to stick it out for 12 months until we can afford to go back. Hubby did love it a first but is starting to get jaded by it now, so I'm hoping that we don't get forced into the difficult choices some people have to make. I'd love to get back now, mainly because I feel that we could pick up where we left with loved ones without too much damage but will have to be patient a while longer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cricketbackinengland Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I have no family so I have no one to bounce thoughts and ideas off apart from my husband who I wouldn't say is any kind of therapist. Kind and caring but is clueless if I show the slightest sign of being in a quandary. I might as well send a distress flare upto Mars and see what comes back. Anyway, as a result, I have over the years realised that life is almost nearly always about the questions we ask ourselves. If we can stand back, be objective, then be practical about what is causing us to feel the way we do, it often presents us with the right answers. Little clues will filter through giving you a green light on which way to go. If you try making a list of what feels wrong about being in Australia, and what feels right, it will help you define what the missing ingredient is. If you then ask yourself if it's ever going to be possible to have what's missing, or if you can learn to live with it and be happy, that answers another question. If the answers that come back reveal that it's the heat you can't stand or living so far away from Europe, then you know that those are things that can't be changed in which case, it doesn't matter how long you give it, you will not change your longing to be nearer to a cooler climate with the option of hopping on a plan to go and sample the delights of Tuscany. It's different of course if you've got family, a husband, partner and you've all gone together. That makes it all much more complicated. In my view though, it's not so much about how long you should give a place to get used to it, although acclimatising does take a while so you need some patience, it's more about identifying what's missing and if you can adapt sufficiently to live that kind of life. If you know you can't and don't want to, then you have to have a rethink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rayman1 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 We were there 5 months then come back. We found Brisbane so expensive we would have been struggling forever.The thing is WE HAD A GOOD LIFE IN THE UK. If this is the case, Australia will not offer more. Don't chase fantasies thinking it will be better over there, just different. You do know after a couple of months if it is for you. it speaks volumes when people always refer to the UK as HOME. Do as you heart tells you, it is rarely wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest andrew_obrien Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I didnt last long at all (was 1st time moving away from parents) came back. finally moved out of my mums house now i want to go back to OZ so make sure coming back to the u.k is what you want as things are bad over here at the moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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