Guest flakey Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 I am under no illusion that the chances are I may well not settle in Oz but after reading this forum I am comforted that nearly all returnees are not bitter or resentful towards their time there. So a question to the returnees; How has your "failed" immigration to Oz effected your lives in a positive way on your return? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 So a question to the returnees; How has your "failed" immigration to Oz effected your lives in a positive way on your return? I would say " your Australian experience" rather than failed.. no one fails Flakey, in fact the returnees probably have a lot more guts than the people that stick it out for whatever the reason. :wubclub:Susie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36762 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 have we met before flakey? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest flakey Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 I would say " your Australian experience" rather than failed.. no one fails Flakey, in fact the returnees probably have a lot more guts than the people that stick it out for whatever the reason. :wubclub:Susie I'm trying to see if there are possitives to gain from negatives so I used "failed" (in quotes) as its a negative word. I have not made any judgement on who has or has no guts. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 I'm trying to see if there are possitives to gain from negatives so I used "failed" (in quotes) as its a negative word. I have not made any judgement on who has or has no guts. Thanks I think you will find on this forum Flakey that most of us that have been members for a period of time pride themselves in giving support to existing members, new comers and returnees and using the word "failed" can be reasonably disconcerting when they have succeeded in reaching these shores which is a feat in itself and returned for reasons best known to themselves.. Its not splitting hairs, just a point:biggrin: Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30038 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 You've only been here since Dec so how can you state, "nearly all returnees"? Or have you been lurking? When I first joined, there was some folk who were extremely bitter regarding their Oz experience. kev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Nope no failure at all just a realization of what one wants out of life and the conclusion that you cannot get it here at the a*se end of the world (thank you Paul Keating, ex Aus PM!). Some of us need to live in a place where we feel we belong rather than being a constant alien so going "home" is just like rediscovering your "self" and all that is important to you. I think my resentment and bitterness is more at being trapped and to some extent betrayed by the person I love more than life itself than with the country per se but when you are in jail it is hard to feel kindly towards the place with the iron bars - I did actually enjoy it for the first 10 years when it was all one big holiday but the holiday has been over for a couple of decades now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Really you only need to be an alien for maybe a year at most. If you still are after that time then it is your choice to perpetuate that mindset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawny Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 We don't think of ourselves as failures, just the opposite if im honest! We appreciate what we had in the uk a lot more! Realized we didn't need to up root ourselves 1000's of miles to be happy! There is so many more places we have not visited in the uk, that won't cost us a small fortune to visit, We can still if we want visit foreign countries! Also can still head back to oz if we choose to do so! Most importantly the kids are so much happier, back with family and friends, we didn't know what effect it had on them taking them away from what they had! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sh7t man no way Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 positives from negatives--one would hope from what ever you achieve in life there will be positives from negatives,i dont see it as falure though i tend to see it as you have had the strengh to go for your dream,and create a new life for yourself--one positive from the experiene is the fact you have achieved something many people only talk,and dream about--love or hate australia once you have lived there it gets under your skin,and if you return to the uk this will remain with you for the rest of your life--circumstances may have been against you when you arrived in australia (jobs/high cost of housing) but you give it a go,and i take my hat of to those who have achieved this--you have gone through immigration/leaving your loved ones behind/and went to what must seem an uncertain future--surley this must have been a true test of charactor,and a lot of possitives must be taken out of this-also making the decision to return to the uk must have taken a lot of charactor,and positives must be taken from this--so in answer i think people who have returned to the uk from australia must take a lot of positives from the whole experience--in a sense its not falure but a true test of charactor to achieve all this--well done:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest37336 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Without repeating what Alan said, :wubclub::notworthy::wink: I will say this. Failure is often an overused word, I like to think the people that have returned to the UK (for many reasons) are risk takers, and where would we be without risk takers, I tell you where, living in a world that is humdrum and bloody boring. It is a MASSIVE risk emigrating to Australia, no matter the research, etc, that has gone into the move, once their for 'life' (potentially) can make the most strong of us quake in our boots. Some it works for, some it is a case of just getting on with, and some kick and scream and return home because it wasn't for them, and good luck to them. How many people do we know that often say, 'I wish', 'If only', not knocking these people at all, but in essence the people who migrate are huge risk takers, and I admire them greatly. A return back to the UK is simply an integral part in 'Risk Taking', as in equal measure is success and positivity. Risk by its very nature includes happiness, sadness, success and failure, but all these are perquisites to taking risks. If you are not prepared to meet failure the same as success, then in my opinion you are not really a risk taker. It takes all sorts to make up this world, plod along, shrugging shoulders, pessimists, optimists, etc, but without risk takers it would be a fairly mundane place. Risk takers are just that, people who will often despite the massive odds against them plug away and choose their own path, :notworthy::notworthy:, so failure, (though I don't like the word) is simply an outcome that may come about, but long live the risk takers I say.:notworthy: Cheers Tony.:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest flakey Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Thank you sh7tman for understanding the question. To everyone else, I promise never too use the F word again.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Really you only need to be an alien for maybe a year at most.If you still are after that time then it is your choice to perpetuate that mindset. Bollocks! no choice involved you either feel that way or you dont! After almost 32 years of trying it isnt going to change! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Bollocks! no choice involved you either feel that way or you dont! After almost 32 years of trying it isnt going to change! It's true. You are the one perpetuating it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 It's true. You are the one perpetuating it. ParleyCross, Please do not judge someone else without knowing all the ins and outs of their situation. For some living here is the only option! If they have a partner that will not go back to UK, do they stay with that partner here or do they leave them and go back! I know that if I were unhappy here and my husband said he was staying.....I`d rather be unhappy and with him than without him! We need to have some respect for others circumstances Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 All I'm saying is it is up to any one of us how we react to the circumstances we are in. If someone is determined not to be happy, they never will be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36762 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Without repeating what Alan said, :wubclub::notworthy::wink: I will say this. Failure is often an overused word, I like to think the people that have returned to the UK (for many reasons) are risk takers, and where would we be without risk takers, I tell you where, living in a world that is humdrum and bloody boring. It is a MASSIVE risk emigrating to Australia, no matter the research, etc, that has gone into the move, once their for 'life' (potentially) can make the most strong of us quake in our boots. Some it works for, some it is a case of just getting on with, and some kick and scream and return home because it wasn't for them, and good luck to them. How many people do we know that often say, 'I wish', 'If only', not knocking these people at all, but in essence the people who migrate are huge risk takers, and I admire them greatly. A return back to the UK is simply an integral part in 'Risk Taking', as in equal measure is success and positivity. Risk by its very nature includes happiness, sadness, success and failure, but all these are perquisites to taking risks. If you are not prepared to meet failure the same as success, then in my opinion you are not really a risk taker. It takes all sorts to make up this world, plod along, shrugging shoulders, pessimists, optimists, etc, but without risk takers it would be a fairly mundane place. Risk takers are just that, people who will often despite the massive odds against them plug away and choose their own path, :notworthy::notworthy:, so failure, (though I don't like the word) is simply an outcome that may come about, but long live the risk takers I say.:notworthy: Cheers Tony.:wink: morning Tony playing the role of devil's advocate (me?:shocked:), what's wrong with being a 'non risk taker'? There is nothing inherently superior about taking risks as opposed to being conservative and cautious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest37336 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 morning Tonyplaying the role of devil's advocate (me?:shocked:), what's wrong with being a 'non risk taker'? There is nothing inherently superior about taking risks as opposed to being conservative and cautious. Morning Dom. If my post has been read as in some way as saying risk takers are to be more admired than those that don't take risks then I apologise mate. I for one am an enormous risk taker, most of the time through choice admittedly, but often through circumstance. I often crave the so called hum drum life Dom, (maybe that was the wrong turn of phrase), you know, working 9 to 5, (or whatever shift) cutting the grass, solid family background, days out with family etc, but, (and I admit this is going to sound awful) I soon enough get bored, or rather a little dejected Dom, I have an extremely low boredom threshold mate, and whilst I will take on fully the repercussions of this, I cannot excuse the often haphazardness and bewilderment my family have often been faced with. No excuses mate, just a few regrets that the life I CHOSE has, and I dare say will impact on my family in the future. Sorry if it came over as bigging up the risk takers, I admire the more 'steady' members of society greatly as well mate, just not for me is all. Cheers Tony.:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36762 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Morning Dom. If my post has been read as in some way as saying risk takers are to be more admired than those that don't take risks then I apologise mate. I for one am an enormous risk taker, most of the time through choice admittedly, but often through circumstance. I often crave the so called hum drum life Dom, (maybe that was the wrong turn of phrase), you know, working 9 to 5, (or whatever shift) cutting the grass, solid family background, days out with family etc, but, (and I admit this is going to sound awful) I soon enough get bored, or rather a little dejected Dom, I have an extremely low boredom threshold mate, and whilst I will take on fully the repercussions of this, I cannot excuse the often haphazardness and bewilderment my family have often been faced with. No excuses mate, just a few regrets that the life I CHOSE has, and I dare say will impact on my family in the future. Sorry if it came over as bigging up the risk takers, I admire the more 'steady' members of society greatly as well mate, just not for me is all. Cheers Tony.:wubclub: here here mate having been a bit of a risk taker in my younger days:cry:, I'm now more prone to think 'better the devil you know'. With young kids, I think a stable base is what's needed, and of course, happy loving parents. Or am I now stating the bleedin obvious? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest30038 Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 All I'm saying is it is up to any one of us how we react to the circumstances we are in. Not entirely. If you have detrimental "learned behaviour" then you react the way that you are taught, and not neccessarily in the way that you would like to. If someone is determined not to be happy, they never will be.I don't think that anyone would be "determined" not to be happy if they had it in their power (at the current time of their unhappiness) to be otherwise. They may not have the skills or "fortitude" to fight their unhappiness, and may even be afflicted with a mental illness that prevents them from being so. I have worked with kids whos "personna" was riddled with unhappiness. It defined who they were (to themselves) and the unfamiliarity of happiness had them totally rejecting it............not because they (consciously) wanted to, but merely because they gained comfort from the familiarity of unhappiness.............it was as if it was a coccoon that they hid inside and anything alien to them such as happiness, was a threat, because they had never conceived/perceived it before. It is a mindset that is difficult to break free from, and can often not be acieved without professional help..............even via drastic measures such as ECT kev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 All I'm saying is it is up to any one of us how we react to the circumstances we are in.If someone is determined not to be happy, they never will be. We werent talking about unhappiness but a feeling of alienation - quite different. I doubt anyone really ever decides to be unhappy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Ok Quoll. My mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest flakey Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I am under no illusion that the chances are I may well not settle in Oz but after reading this forum I am comforted that nearly all returnees are not bitter or resentful towards their time there.So a question to the returnees; How has your "failed" immigration to Oz effected your lives in a positive way on your return? I would just like to add to my OP as my use of the word "fail" seems to have riled some people. I used the term "fail" (in quotes") because that's basically what they have done:eek: It doesn't make them inferior or bad people but the same as you "fail" an exam or "fail" a driving test, the person has failed at their immigration to Australia. This really shouldn't offend and if it does I make no apologies, to do so is succumbing to the PC rubbish like "no winners at sports day" and such, Its nonsence in my opinion. Some times failing at something can open your mind and make you see the future more clearly but at the end of the day lets get off our high horses, call a spade a spade and use the English language as it was intended. Just look at the do-gooders that have irradicated the word "black" from the English language, I'm guessing the majority of "Black" people couldn't care sweet fanny adams about whether blackboards are called blackboards. For those returning to the UK who I may have offended I apologise and remember that to fail at immigration is to succeed at realizing what your true goals and aspirations are:wubclub: To the word police :tongue: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest robbosdownunder Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 We don't think of ourselves as failures, just the opposite if im honest!We appreciate what we had in the uk a lot more! Realized we didn't need to up root ourselves 1000's of miles to be happy! There is so many more places we have not visited in the uk, that won't cost us a small fortune to visit, We can still if we want visit foreign countries! Also can still head back to oz if we choose to do so! Most importantly the kids are so much happier, back with family and friends, we didn't know what effect it had on them taking them away from what they had! I wish this forum had a 'like' button like Facebook! Can I ask you Dawny, how long did you live in Aus for? I'm currently in Brisbane and have been here for 5 yrs, but heading back 'home' to England in April with hubby and two kids. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the dougans Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 been a positive experience for us just to experience oz but negative would be the amount of money we have spent and now when we get home wil have to start again !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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