lisaharrison Posted July 9, 2010 Share Posted July 9, 2010 Hi - is anybody going through this lengthy process through the courts at the moment? All threads on here go back over a year. I am due my third court hearing in August (final hearing) to get an order to remove my child and live in Oz. CAFCASS have done report and my child can't wait to go!!! Husband has secured an excellent job and is already there. Ex sees my child odd weekends and is totally against move. Would love to hear from anyone who is going through the same. Horrible time and very lonely! Lisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Hi Lisa Have a chat with Geoff on here, he is currently going through this (his username is Tracy123). You will find that he is very helpful and will be able to give you some helpful tips. It is hard but you will get through, big hugs and good luck. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Hi Lisa We had our 3rd court hearing today (WHAT A WAIST OF BLOODY TIME :realmad:) Our next hearing is on the 6th of August, I'll be writting about it when our emotions calm down......... Good luck, there are plenty of people on PIO that are going through it however a lot wont post about it as there are quite a few judgemental people about http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/migration-issues/82979-going-court-take-children-out-country.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisaharrison Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 Thank you - need the hugs! Hugs back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisaharrison Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 Hi - great to hear from someone who is going through the same hell! Its my birthday on 6th Aug so that means its all gonna be fine! Is this one the "final hearing" - why has it been adjourned again? If you don't want to talk in detail on here can we talk on the phone - if ok with you - 2 heads better than one and all that! Lisa x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie22 Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Hi All I had my first leave to remove hearing in April & need to go back with my bundle with all the details. Just wondering is the second hearing very long as I read some cases go for 2 days & also is the final hearing listed very long after the second. Any info would be much appreciated Thanks, Sonya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisaharrison Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 Hi, my my final hearing was one day. On advice I hired a Barrister for the final hearing; worth every penny if you can. Good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinkla Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 my final hearing was one day. On advice I hired a Barrister for the final hearing; worth every penny if you can. Good luck x So five years on, how is the relationship between your c hold and his or her father? Has it managed to survive the distance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie22 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Thanks Lisa all your advice has been so helpful :rolleyes: Always great to hear from someone has been there before. Sorry just one more question. I have had my first hearing I am just a bit confused is there just one more hearing a final hearing or a second & a final. Not sure how it all works I hope you have well & truly settled into life in Oz & your twins love it there I bet no looking back now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisaharrison Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 Quinkla - ironically after all the battling their father doesn't speak to them much. He visited a couple of times but novelty wore off! Aussie22 - there was the first hearing where judges asked for info, CAFCASS etc and then final hearing, decision given that day and here we are! dont ever give up hope, my furniture was already on its way when we had the final hearing lol. keep me posted lisa xx Thanks Lisa all your advice has been so helpful :rolleyes: Always great to hear from someone has been there before. Sorry just one more question. I have had my first hearing I am just a bit confused is there just one more hearing a final hearing or a second & a final. Not sure how it all works I hope you have well & truly settled into life in Oz & your twins love it there I bet no looking back now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainC Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Hi All I had my first leave to remove hearing in April & need to go back with my bundle with all the details. Just wondering is the second hearing very long as I read some cases go for 2 days & also is the final hearing listed very long after the second. Any info would be much appreciated Thanks, Sonya Hi Sonya, Also been through this myself with my son. It was a difficult time and involved lots of hard work, worry, sleepless nights (you know the story). The case for my son was two hearings, the first one was very short as I didn't prepare very well for it, and the judge told me to come back in a month. I went back in fully armed with everything that the judge wanted. A short interview with CAFCASS and that was it. We were in the waiting room for longer than in the court room. Of course, every case is different and some will be more difficult than others but I'd say don't work yourself up, do all the preparation fully, and be polite and respectful to all in the court room, no matter if certain people try to goad you. (Then scream your head off in the toilets afterwards if you need to!!). Best of luck! Added: also, I hired a barrister for the final hearing like @lisaharrison did, it is worth it to have a good legal mind and a courtroom experienced person standing by your side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinkla Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Quinkla - ironically after all the battling their father doesn't speak to them much. He visited a couple of times but novelty wore off! I imagined that would be the case. It is simply not possible for a parent to sustain a relationship with a child over that distance, despite all the assurances that departing mothers tend to make to secure the court order. So your child has gone from seeing a father every other week to never seeing him – probably for ever. That seems a sad outcome that was avoidable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silencio Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 For children it makes the separation even harder, first the divorce of their parents which is often unavoidable but then one parent decided to move to another country and taking the children with them...like Quinkla mentioned they may never see each other again, produces only losers on all sides! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silencio Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Everyone is talking about the father but what about the grandparents (parents of the father)? Siblings of the father, the child's uncles and aunties? Cousins? It's not only the father who is lost down the track it's the whole paternal branch which will be cut off the child's life (depending on age of course) really sad. I know many won't like what I'm saying but that's my point of view. Family separation due to migration only produces losers. Lost moments in the life of the child and the father time cannot heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Hi - is anybody going through this lengthy process through the courts at the moment? All threads on here go back over a year. I am due my third court hearing in August (final hearing) to get an order to remove my child and live in Oz. CAFCASS have done report and my child can't wait to go!!! Husband has secured an excellent job and is already there. Ex sees my child odd weekends and is totally against move. Would love to hear from anyone who is going through the same. Horrible time and very lonely! Lisa Hi Lisa, We are going through this process, just about to start, letter sent to father on Monday to request permission, appointment with mediation next week. We have already been to Cafcass during the long lengthy divorce process. have a look at my post on my profile, I will update it as when I progress, or message me so we can compare issues etc if you want! Cheers MT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinkla Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Family separation due to migration only produces losers. Lost moments in the life of the child and the father time cannot heal. Agree 100%. I cannot believe people are so selfish as to put their personal convenience ahead of the welfare of their own children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Tilley Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 For children it makes the separation even harder, first the divorce of their parents which is often unavoidable but then one parent decided to move to another country and taking the children with them...like Quinkla mentioned they may never see each other again, produces only losers on all sides! I have to agree with this to some extent. In my case I was the parent who 'removed' (or more simply, returned home) with my son. As primary care parents we deal with situations at the time, and we do what we think/feel/know is the best at the time for our children, but over time the situations change and we have to change with them. A 'relocation' of a child is not the end of something, it is the start of a whole new something, and it is not a 'something' that can be avoided. You may be granted permission to take the child to Australia with you for now, but at some point in the future they may want to return and you will have to be prepared to let them go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainC Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Everyone is talking about the father but what about the grandparents (parents of the father)? Siblings of the father, the child's uncles and aunties? Cousins? It's not only the father who is lost down the track it's the whole paternal branch which will be cut off the child's life (depending on age of course) really sad. I know many won't like what I'm saying but that's my point of view. Family separation due to migration only produces losers. Lost moments in the life of the child and the father time cannot heal. Agree with 90% of your post there Silencio. However I have issue with the next to last statement, migration doesn't necessarily produce losers. Family courts are very sensible and sensitive towards all parties and draw conclusions based on individual circumstances and usually heavily weighted on the best interests of the child. For example, it is highly unlikely that a good parent with regular contact with a child would suffer such an order, similarly a parent with little or no contact with a child is more likely to have an order given in favour of the migrating parent. Regarding the grandparents, uncles, aunts etc. it is very sad and heartbreaking, but the migrating parent can't be held responsible for that, as I believe these migrating parents are trying to continue their own lives and do the best for their children. NB. I'm a father who has sole custody of a child and also an order allowing removal from jurisdiction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainC Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Agree 100%. I cannot believe people are so selfish as to put their personal convenience ahead of the welfare of their own children. Based on what circumstances? You know the details of each individual case? I think the word selfish is too strong in this context. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Tilley Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Agree 100%. I cannot believe people are so selfish as to put their personal convenience ahead of the welfare of their own children. This is not always the case. No two cases are ever exactly the same, and sometimes people need to move for the welfare of the children as well as themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 We have different situation, with siblings, Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents, the father did that work before we have even left the UK, he put such a strict request the 'family' was not to visit my stepson with his mother present, that nobody sees him at all, no recognition for Birthday, Christmas, nothing....................it's made our job of removal from jurisdiction very easy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinkla Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 This is not always the case. No two cases are ever exactly the same, and sometimes people need to move for the welfare of the children as well as themselves. I agree. If a child has a deadbeat dad or a violent dad then I have no difficulty in the mother moving with the child to another country. It can be tough on the dad's own family - for example, despite his father walking out on him when he was 2, my eldest stepson's grandparents still love him. But if a child has an ongoing relationship with a father as exemplified by regular and ongoing contact, then only the cruellest and most self-centred mother would intentionally sever that bond. I have a godson whose father died when he was 8. He and his sister still miss their father very much. I could not imagine causing such grief and loss intentionally and avoidably. As for me - when I wanted to marry a partner who had stepchildren, it was me who moved half way around the world so that her younger children could continue to be near their father. I imagine that if anyone really loved their partner, they would do the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie22 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Hiya - I just seen your reply I am new to this forum so I am not very good at using sorry about that Thanks so much for all your advice his statement was full of lies so yes I am working myself up but will try not too I am fully prepared & have hired legal representation Sonya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silencio Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I want to add that's even hard for children when both parents still together make the move as they will lose all their friends, school mates, familiar surroundings etc. Unbearable, I can't imagine how hard that'll be for a child on top losing a parent due to migration. Sometimes I think that some mothers have a lack of empathy for their own children! Unwittingly a lack of ability to act in the 'best interest' of the child and that's the right to have both natural parents. I get very emotional about that topic here as I'm a victim of the divorce of my own parents and only affected people like me seem to be able to have a voice for childrens needs as I know from my own painful experience and trauma I'd gone through how that really hurts to lose a father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I know this causes arguments and I dont intend to cause any but I am your mother taking her children to australia where they have regular contact with their father. However, I do believe this is in their best interests and surprisingly nowadays, so does their biological father. They see their father every 3 weeks for a night or two, he has always done this and has always paid maintenance. I will always give him credit for that and we have a healthy relationship for the sake of our children. We worked out the issue of migrating ourselves without court, at times I thought I would have to go to court but with good old fashioned communication we were able to work things out between us. My daughter is coming on 12 and is mardy, currently tries to have a strop with her father each time he visits as she wants to stay home. I doubt that this would stop if we were to stay in the UK and it was causing a break down in the father/daughter relationship. I am hoping being without her father for longer periods will make the heart grow fonder and during their time together they will form a much closer bond where my daughter does not have to go 2 hours away from her home or her friends. My ex-husbands maintenance will cover his, his partner's and their child's travel and entertainment costs and allow them to stay up to a month if they can. It also reduces the burden to his new family of having to seperate them every three weeks when my ex dotes on his two older children. There can be positives to the situation if both parents are working as a team and working towards a joint goal of encouraging all parents and step-parents to have active roles in their children's lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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