Guest morrison Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hi I'm moving to Brisbane OZ hopefully in the next 12 months or so. From what I can understand one of the main reasons for people returning home to the uk is HOME SICKNESS. So I was very surprised to find that this has not come up as a topic on any of the forums. Does anyone have any good suggestions for combating homesickness and how has it affected them personally. Any comments would be appreciated. As this is probably one of my main concerns. Thanks Morrison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest choobs Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 HiI'm moving to Brisbane OZ hopefully in the next 12 months or so. From what I can understand one of the main reasons for people returning home to the uk is HOME SICKNESS. So I was very surprised to find that this has not come up as a topic on any of the forums. Does anyone have any good suggestions for combating homesickness and how has it affected them personally. Any comments would be appreciated. As this is probably one of my main concerns. Thanks Morrison I guess it depends what you're leaving behind, really. We don't have close family, we have very few friends, and we have family members in Oz, so I don't see homesickness being a problem. I'm certainly not going to miss the british climate and culture I guess if you do have close family, then it'll be tough - bear in mind, though, that buying a 20 quid USB camera allows you to do video conferencing over MSN messenger. The world's a smaller place than it used to be. Choobs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest glennandkate Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 HiI'm moving to Brisbane OZ hopefully in the next 12 months or so. From what I can understand one of the main reasons for people returning home to the uk is HOME SICKNESS. So I was very surprised to find that this has not come up as a topic on any of the forums. Does anyone have any good suggestions for combating homesickness and how has it affected them personally. Any comments would be appreciated. As this is probably one of my main concerns. Thanks Morrison Hi Morrison, I agree with Choobs about the webcam - We got one just before our close friends went to Oz and it is great to see and speak to them and I know it has helped them to talk regularly to friends and family. I am going to make sure my Mum and Sister both have them before we up and go. The British expats website has a forum dedicated called Moving Back to the UK. This has some horror storys from people who are homesick but also some coping techniques... And as this is the only forum I have found for this matter I don't think it effects the majority to such an extent that they feel they need to return. However I don't think worrying about homesickness at this stage is a good thing. Are you really 100% sure you want to go? Maybe now is the time to really explore how you feel about this rather than wait til you are there. I have just read what I have written and it sounds a bit hard, so sorry, but I assure you it is out of concern. Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest morrison Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hi glennandkate I'd read the forum you mentioned in your reply and it was for this reason that I posed the question. It seems to me that many people embark on this difficult journey with all the enthusiasm in the world, but come unstuck with the homesickness. For some reason they are no longer able to see the things that attracted them to the country in the first place. Coupled with maybe a few minor disappointments and they start thinking about how much better there life was back in the uk. I think it would be interesting to see how people have coped with homesickness, because one things for sure, we will all feel like this from time to time, its how we cope with it that counts. Morrison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ABCDiamond Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Homesickness can be a major case of the approx 25% of migrants that do return, although it comes in varying degrees and even at different times. I never considered that I was ever homesick, although I did return to the UK. However, I came back again as soon I could My reason for returning was basically that I got fed up with Australia, and its way of doing things, commonly referred to as the "rejection phase". I learnt the hard way, that Australia is not the UK, and that I should never have looked at everything from a UK perspective. At that time, it became a case of me always thinking, "but they don't do it that way in the UK, therefore it is wrong" After returning to the UK, and then coming back, a litte bit wiser, I decided to consider Australia in a different light. The way things are done in Australia is the Australian way, and I am the one who must change, and adapt to the new country, and NOT Australia adapt to me. With my new way of thinking, I settled in much better, and am now 100% happy. This doesn't help with missing family etc., but on that point, that is a very individual thing, and will come down to how close a person is to the family left behind. PS: Out of the 25% who do return, quite a number are what are referred to as "Ping Pong Poms", we come back again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SuzieQ Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Hi Morrison, Homesickness definitely got the better of me when we lived in Sydney for a while 10 years ago. However, I believe had we stayed a bit longer, post 2 years, we would have broken the back of it. We take for granted the small things in our everyday lives that provide familiarity, anything from shopping at Tescos and knowing more or less whats on offer to the same ole stuff on t.v., where to buy this or that and the best place to get a good meal. These issues will diminish in time. However, it is the family and friends that you miss. You may not realise how much Auntie B or Uncle J or whoever actually are a part of your life and give you your identity. So until you make new friends and lasting relationships it will be tough :cry: Sorreee, but you will overcome these issues especially with web cams, text messages, etc. Hope that helps. Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I wonder how many people who return due to being homesick were 100% certain they wanted to go in the first place... I hear lots of people say if they don't like it they can always come back .. it feels like they're not really sure. We don't see family members much and alot of our social life revolves around stuff with friends who have kids. We know we'll make new friends and it's up to us to do that by going out meeting people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 i think im with ali on this one ,yes it will be hard but we have decided to sell everything here so we are less likely to want to return if we hit a bad patch ,if you know theres no house etc to return too its not as easy and like ali said you make new friends which if you have children can be done via school etc ,we decided to go for it in september both wanting it 100% with no real fears at all (kids are young enough 2 and 7)now with just the medicals to go im pannin it but you only live once and its got to be a better life for the children,i think it will be a case of grit our teeth and bear it for a year till we settle, cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bob and ginnie Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Heaps and heaps of Poms come "down under" thinking that life will be rosy and sunny for the rest of their lives . . . . a bit like the naive newly weds who think they'll live happily ever after . . . little realising that the hard work is ahead of them! Homesickness can kick in at any time. At first, the "honeymoon" stage is there when you experience and revel in all the new and bright things about Australia. Later, once the novelty wears off and you have to get back to routine of daily living, you think about all the familiar things that you no longer have. There won't be a dozen close friends waiting for you at the airport when you land. Friends come through times and experiences shared together . . . watching each other's kids grwoing up and listening to each other's heartaches and problems. All this takes time . . .years even . . . and it won't happen in a couple of months. Those who go back after two or three months just haven't come to grips with some basic realities in life . . . . that new friendships have to be "cultivated" and nurtured and you can't buy half a dozen of them at your local supermarket. They go back to their comfort zone and either stay for good or they realise that their old circumstances wasn't so flash after all and they come back . . . this time with a more realistic outlook. I felt homesick for all my old mates that I used to go surfing with and shared digs with in Adelaide when I shifted to Hobart, Tasmania. I wanted to go back and share good times once more with all my old mates. I stuck it out for two years in Hobart . . . then another two years . . . in the end going back to Adelaide after thirteen years and three kids later. Tasmania now has a special place in my heart, too, after thirteen years and made some great mates there too . . . . for life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest morrison Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 bob and ginnie This is a very harsh but realistic outlook on how things may pan out. Not to say you shouldn't go for it anyway. As mentioned previously many people have to return back to the uk b4 they realise what they left behind in oz. I think homesickness should never be underestimated, but when you expect the worst the reality never seems to be that bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bob and ginnie Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Harsh, but true in many ways. You can always get someone telling you what you want to hear . . . . BUT not necessarily what you should be hearing. . . . . which is the best thing for newcomers to Australia. I've been there . . . done that! . . . . . just giving you guys the benefit of what I went through personally, on living in Australia initially and then, after a few years, setting up shop once again in unfamiliar territory in the eastern States of Australia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hutch Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 As soon as we got into the arrivals hall I felt HOMESICK.....It was dirty, hardly any staff around, not even customs was open!!! Paul and I both turned to each other and said "lets just turn around and go back to Oz" and it has been like that ever since... Sometimes its good to return home though...it makes ya realise just what state this country is in...I still have lots of family here but they are enthusiatic about us going, they can't wait for wonderful holidays with us Your post made myself and my wife giggle as it echoed our situation. We've got family out in Oz too and have spent the last few Xmas's over there. First time we went out we had the same moment in the arrivals hall and we've been homesick for Oz ever since. Still ... we're out permanently this year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sunshine Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 HiI'm moving to Brisbane OZ hopefully in the next 12 months or so. From what I can understand one of the main reasons for people returning home to the uk is HOME SICKNESS. So I was very surprised to find that this has not come up as a topic on any of the forums. Does anyone have any good suggestions for combating homesickness and how has it affected them personally. Any comments would be appreciated. As this is probably one of my main concerns. Thanks Morrison Do not under estimate the power of "homesickness", until you are placed in a situation where you may suffer from it. People often ask me what it is that makes me so homesick and its not something that can be easily explained but I will try. There is not just one thing that I miss about the uk, it is a collection of things. There are the superficial things like Tesco's, M&S, Next and Boots, the english pubs, daylight savings and yes even the frosty mornings. Then there are the ties to family and friends, of course I miss my mum and dad, but also my best mate. Most of all it is the history and familiarity I share with the uk. The thing I miss most of all is being able to walk around the "old neighbourhood" and remember that's where I did something, or pass the pub where I had my first drink, meet people I hadn't seen since childhood, just the memories I guess. I am making new friends here and creating new memories, but the old ones are so precious, it is painful to not be able to literally walk down memory lane. Homesickness never goes away, it just gets easier to manage, but for some it takes years and years to find a way to cope. I am coping better after 18 months but only with the help of counselling. Sorry to be negative, but this is my experience. Sunshine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mancunian Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 There's many people with homesickness....it depends on the depth of the person I suppose and their true attatchments to others. Self centred folk don't suffer cos it's me! me!....humans do cos they think of others..there s another site that talks about regrets and this kind of stuff ... http://www.theexpatfiles.com worth a look and some fun there too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest arnould Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Hi Homesickness is inevitable, I started feeling homesick before I left!! Rose tinted glasses......I have been in Perth for 3 years and at first it is the familiarity that you miss, you go from knowing everyone and everthing around you to getting lost going for milk....then the person serving you can't understand what your saying. Your phone bill to the uk is high to start with but after a while you start to settle and make new friends, and know your way around without a street map on your knee. We were lucky and had some family members here to help us out and I would never go back to the UK to live now. I love it here and the quality of life is so much better, especially for kids. One of the hardest thing is when one of your family in the UK is ill, my dad was sick and in hospital and I felt very far from home (Yes I still call Scotland home) but if need be I can be back there in 24 hours and you need to do whats right for your own kids. I think you do need to stay 2 years...if someone had given my hubby a plane ticket home in the first 12 months he would have gone, but we stuck it out and now he won't even agree to going back on holiday. We don't have 24 hour Tescos (found that hard), Next, M&S, Sunday shopping or booze in the supermarkets but there are hundreds of things that make up for it, and in time I am sure we will have all those things. Australians are so willing to give everyone a go and are really friendly in our experience. They are so positive about life, that I found really refreshing after the negative attitudes that dominate scottish culture these days. Good Luck.........If it doesn't work out at least you had the balls to try it...most people never do 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest glennandkate Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Hi Homesickness is inevitable, I started feeling homesick before I left!! Rose tinted glasses......I have been in Perth for 3 years and at first it is the familiarity that you miss, you go from knowing everyone and everthing around you to getting lost going for milk....then the person serving you can't understand what your saying. Your phone bill to the uk is high to start with but after a while you start to settle and make new friends, and know your way around without a street map on your knee. We were lucky and had some family members here to help us out and I would never go back to the UK to live now. I love it here and the quality of life is so much better, especially for kids. One of the hardest thing is when one of your family in the UK is ill, my dad was sick and in hospital and I felt very far from home (Yes I still call Scotland home) but if need be I can be back there in 24 hours and you need to do whats right for your own kids. I think you do need to stay 2 years...if someone had given my hubby a plane ticket home in the first 12 months he would have gone, but we stuck it out and now he won't even agree to going back on holiday. We don't have 24 hour Tescos (found that hard), Next, M&S, Sunday shopping or booze in the supermarkets but there are hundreds of things that make up for it, and in time I am sure we will have all those things. Australians are so willing to give everyone a go and are really friendly in our experience. They are so positive about life, that I found really refreshing after the negative attitudes that dominate scottish culture these days. Good Luck.........If it doesn't work out at least you had the balls to try it...most people never do 8) Julie that is a really nice positive message. I have been reading so many negative threads on other forums lately. Its good to see people who are enjoying life out there. Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoanneHattersley Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Bumping this back up 4 our new ones who have just got VISAs or are waiting! SOme good points raised on here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pingpongpom Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Good idea Johatts!:idea:..it is such an important thing to talk about..i didn't suffer too much, but my hubbie did and it is so debilitating..it's hard for people to understand it if they haven't experienced it..and so good to be able to talk about it with others who have been through it.. Pingpong:cute: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest willow Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 I am lucky enough not to be homesick but empathise with you who are,whilst i cherish my past memories I embrace creating new ones here in Australia and yes.....things are not always rosy!! Willowx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 I wondered why the post was an old one - good idea jo Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo&Rich Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Read this last night, NYE, before going to bed, and was feeling very homesick. Hopefully now Christmas and New Year over with, can get a fresh perspective, and start to look forwards and not backwards a bit more! Jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 Must say ,what with what has gone on with us to date ,this has been a good read . eddie:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alliekate Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 I am so terribly terribly homesick, even tho we have been to Oz so many times for visits and absolutely love (most) of the country. (see the Townsville link in the Queensland section). My husband says I am an English Rose (a huge exagerration I'm afraid), and a delicate one at that. You need to be tough to adapt, you have to try and go with the flow, but most of all you have to want to succeed against all the odds. You know how I get thru some nights ? Watching my cherished Little Britain and Catherine Tate DVD's - how bloody sad is that ? We go round Woolies saying "little bit of cake - I LOVE cake" and stuff like that and I guess it helps. Please don't underestimate homesickness - I can't wipe out 40 years of Old Blighty just like that. Much love and hugs to anyone suffering, and lets keep talking about it, it helps!!!! a xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 I had never given homesickness a thought really until recently. I have been here nearly 29 years and when we came there were no expat boards or even the concept of getting together with other expats. Basically you became an Aussie and that was it. Certainly when we came here, you didnt go around saying "I'm a Pom" and having any pride in your heritage because it just wasnt the done thing. So, I just got on with being here and fitting into the scenery - right down to the accent which had been just a middling Cambridgeshire anyway so it wasnt any great challenge to blend in with the natives. With the promotion of multiculturalism where other cultures (not including the English one generally) were encouraged to maintain their customs, I began to allow myself to think about where I came from and what was missing in my life here. I now proudly declare that I am a Pom and tough bikkies to anyone who doesnt like that. I was very lucky to have had my parents here for 6 months of the year for the first 15 years of their retirement which sort of took some of the pangs away but in the last few years since they have become too old and too infirm for their annual trip, I find that I am all alone here. Well, not alone exactly because I have my DH and one son (the other one went back to UK for a "gap year" 5 years ago and hasnt come back!!!) but definitely alone in my head. So, now, here I am with chronic homesickness - after all these years there are so many things that I miss, apart from the people (only child, small close family makes it much worse IMHO). I miss the weather - strange but true - you can have too many cloudless blue skies even when you do live in a place that has defined seasons as we do here. I miss "green" - the green of the trees, the green of the grass (and walking on real grass not concrete with weed cover!) the green of the hedgerows and also the colours of the other seasons - my avatar (if I can ever work out how to put it up here!) is the rapeseed fields at their peak last May. I miss the fact that nothing in Canberra is over 150 years old and not much in Australia is over the 200 - compare that with Cambridge which has an absolutely vibrant history and where I can sit in a cafe and have mediaeval wall paintings above my head and my best friend lives in a house 400 years old. I hate the flies (worse this year than for many years), I hate wattle, I hate the screeching of the cockatoos and magpies at some ungodly hour in the morning. My list of hates goes on!!! What makes me feel this way after so long? I think it is a sense of being trapped here. Sure, I go home - often - but my DH wont move back there and it is only just recently that we have come out and discussed what we will do now we are in our retirement and I find that what I had been envisaging is not what he had been envisaging but we had both been too busy to actually sit down and talk about it. I had been hoping we could do the summer here, summer there routine that my parents enjoyed for so long but he wont do that. He wants to go out and live in the bush and be self sufficient (over my dead body!!!) and so our compromise is that we stay where we are in suburban Canberra (no jokes about Canberra being the a*se end of the earth, either thanks!!!) and I go home for regular trips while he digs up the back yard and grows his chooks and vegies. He is an Aussie by the way which does sort of confuse things somewhat. When we were young we moved around a lot - lived in PNG, UK and Aus and almost went back to PNG and nearly to India at one stage and when we were as young as most of you, we wouldnt have thought twice about moving to a new place to chase whatever opportunity offered. While we were doing that, the homesickness was never really evident because we embraced a life of change and at the back of my mind was that I would go home. Now I know that we cannot really afford to go home (thank you Australian $$!) and even if we did so then DH would be the unhappy one and so the homesickness has descended with a vengeance. Some days it can be quite debilitating - especially around this time of year - other days it just sort of hums along and I get on with doing what I have to do here. I can honestly say though that I am not happy here and I didnt realize how unhappy I was until my last trip where, despite the weather and despite not having DH there I had an overwhelming sense of belonging, well being and joy which disappeared as soon as I left Heathrow. I think there is a research project into homesickness in the offing:yes: For people making the move to come here - good on you! Take whatever opportunities life throws at you just do it with your eyes wide open and dont expect this to be a bed of roses, it's a life just like anywhere and it will be what you make it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alliekate Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((QUOLL)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Big hugs and much love. Your post has left me in tears for you, thinking of you. a xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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