mrsindecision Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 HI all we're in the final run up to returning - in July. House is on market OH got a job, friends and family looking forward to us returning exchange rate brilliant. But we are both stressed beyond belief. I think it really boils down to fear of messing the kids around too much. Having moved here less than three years ago now going back and starting again (or in many ways picking up where we left off). Think OH is really properly depressed about the whole experience - blames himself and really struggling to accept it hasn't worked out. My daughter is desperately unhappy about moving back but has started seeing school chaplain to get it all off her chest which I think is a good thing for her. Wish OH would talk to someone - but blokes dont really do they. I swing between getting excited about what we can buy overthere and kids going to good unis etc. with fear of leaving what has now become familiar and the few comforting thigns here ( friends, house etc.) I am hoping this is a normal part of the process - cos I really can't see any future for us staying here. But the upheaval feels mammoth. :no: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rayman1 Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 HI all we're in the final run up to returning - in July. House is on market OH got a job, friends and family looking forward to us returning exchange rate brilliant. But we are both stressed beyond belief. I think it really boils down to fear of messing the kids around too much. Having moved here less than three years ago now going back and starting again (or in many ways picking up where we left off). Think OH is really properly depressed about the whole experience - blames himself and really struggling to accept it hasn't worked out. My daughter is desperately unhappy about moving back but has started seeing school chaplain to get it all off her chest which I think is a good thing for her. Wish OH would talk to someone - but blokes dont really do they. I swing between getting excited about what we can buy overthere and kids going to good unis etc. with fear of leaving what has now become familiar and the few comforting thigns here ( friends, house etc.) I am hoping this is a normal part of the process - cos I really can't see any future for us staying here. But the upheaval feels mammoth. :no: I do know how you feel. As you know we have been here 5 months and it is me and the daughter who do not like it here. It has caused alot of friction with the wife and son but hopefully will get sorted when we get home and back on track. I got depressed and the only way forwards was for us to return. All the best and will keep you updated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Think OH is really properly depressed about the whole experience - blames himself and really struggling to accept it hasn't worked out. The thing to remember is that noone is to blame. It is a shared expereince in a family and there will be parts that all of you like/dont like. Remember it is a brave thing to up and move here but a braver one to say it isnt for you and go back. Just remember YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 You wouldnt be normal if you had no fear of the unknown IMHO. And, too, the older we get the more we tend to overthink the consequences of our actions because we do have other responsibilities which we didnt have when we were younger. A crystal ball would always come in handy (and, would you believe I have a friend who has really got rather too deeply into astrology in her old age, for seeking the answers to life, the universe and what colour knickers she should put on tomorrow - that is rather OTT!!!) but we dont have one so can only make the best decision we can given all the information in front of us - sometimes it is absolutely The Best decision and other times it is merely the Least Worst decision. There is nothing in the least bit wrong with working out that the best decision for you is a future in UK/Europe you certainly arent Robinson Crusoe at the moment, there are a lot of folk on their way back/home! No blame anywhere IMHO! Nobody HAS to like Australia (despite what the Aussies will tell you:biglaugh:) Good luck!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaniaColin Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Good luck with it all i felt very stressed as i booked my return tickets home had shippers in all within a week and still managed to send the kids to school and i went to work. We have been back a week tomorrow and i can honestly say it doesn't feel like we have ever been away. The children have all started school, i go into a salon today for a trial run hopefully it will lead to me working a couple of days in a salon. I'm positive that i will be able to start my mobile business up again. I am lucky as i am able to live in my brothers house as he is selling it, so i haven't had to think about buying furniture it is all fitted and some of my furniture is here still. I have been able to lend my mums car. It has really fell into place for us and it is so nice to have people calling round to see us and welcoming us back. I'm sure everything will fall into place for you good luck Tania x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest paulcuthbert Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 HI all we're in the final run up to returning - in July. House is on market OH got a job, friends and family looking forward to us returning exchange rate brilliant. But we are both stressed beyond belief. I think it really boils down to fear of messing the kids around too much. Having moved here less than three years ago now going back and starting again (or in many ways picking up where we left off). Think OH is really properly depressed about the whole experience - blames himself and really struggling to accept it hasn't worked out. My daughter is desperately unhappy about moving back but has started seeing school chaplain to get it all off her chest which I think is a good thing for her. Wish OH would talk to someone - but blokes dont really do they. I swing between getting excited about what we can buy overthere and kids going to good unis etc. with fear of leaving what has now become familiar and the few comforting thigns here ( friends, house etc.) I am hoping this is a normal part of the process - cos I really can't see any future for us staying here. But the upheaval feels mammoth. :no: Hi There I am also new to POI . Moved over to QLD Hervey bay in 2006. We now have a 18 month old girl and are seriously considering going back to the uk. We still have a house back there so it is easy for us compared to some on here!! We feel that every where is too far away and that everything is so accesible and cheaper back in the UK. We used to go on 3 or 4 two week hols every year back home, we haven't been on hols here at all. things are very expensive and I earn a quarter of the money I used to earn back in the UK. All the Licence crap regarding chippies/ builders etc also grates me, I could do anything back in the UK, to a good standard I may add ! We shall see what happens , but I think at the minute, that we will be back in sunny Grimsby by november 2010!! Lets get back to cheap flights and earning some decent bloody money !!! All the Best Paul C. Grimsby !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 You have to do what feels right. If you're children are going to Uni, then they're probably going to be flying the nest and probably doing some travelling too. As everyone says, it's not a failure, you've had an adventure and are going back to where you're happiest - how can being happy be a failure. Good luck with the move back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsindecision Posted March 27, 2010 Author Share Posted March 27, 2010 You have to do what feels right. If you're children are going to Uni, then they're probably going to be flying the nest and probably doing some travelling too. As everyone says, it's not a failure, you've had an adventure and are going back to where you're happiest - how can being happy be a failure. Good luck with the move back Yes agree with you about that and I want to give the kids a proper home that they can come and go from as they spread their wings and start their lives. If we stay here it will be because we dont want to disrupt everyone and actually I think the disruption needs to happen so we can be properly settled and everyone can be free to live their lives - if that makes any sense at all. I even accept one or more of them may come back here to live - at some point - but that was always been a possibility anyway. I am hoping their experience of living abroad has opened them up to those opportunities in the future if that's what they want. Am just concerned that OH not holding it together very well and not getting help either - dont get me wrong he is not being drippy - he's steaming through house repairs and cleaning etc, but always looking on the verge of tears (and in private occasionally in tears). I am having to pull on all my reserves (havent got many) to try to be strong and am fearful for the future because of this. In many ways it makes me more determined that home is where we need to be as I know I need the support of my family and friends in a way I cant get here. I am hoping when he is back in work that is challenging he will become absorbed in that and feel like himself again. Thanks for kind words of support most helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest valleylass Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Man, we cried buckets before and after return and we hadn't even laid down the roots that you must have in the time that you've been there. It seems to be a part of the process, I don't know about you but I really dislike feeling that out of whack. It's got to be done sometimes though :wacko:, this sums up how I felt.... However things are shaping up quite nicely here with work opportunities and the kids having a great time in school. Just need a permanent contract to secure that mortgage and we'll be away. Hope the house sells for a great price, you'll be quids in which might help salve the pain! valleylass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsindecision Posted March 28, 2010 Author Share Posted March 28, 2010 Man, we cried buckets before and after return and we hadn't even laid down the roots that you must have in the time that you've been there. It seems to be a part of the process, I don't know about you but I really dislike feeling that out of whack. It's got to be done sometimes though :wacko:, this sums up how I felt....However things are shaping up quite nicely here with work opportunities and the kids having a great time in school. Just need a permanent contract to secure that mortgage and we'll be away. Hope the house sells for a great price, you'll be quids in which might help salve the pain! valleylass Thanks Valley lass - I think you kind of know you have to go through the pain - but boy is it hard when you're right in it. Just booked a flight for Mum to come out for a month - her last holiday in Aus and hopefully some tlc for me and daughter. Just want her here now! Talk to my BF yesterday and she's planning a girlie hol for us and our Mums in a cottage in Norfolk in August which I think will be just the tonic I need to help settle and re-establish connections, also have some other good friends in Norfolk. So looking forward to that. Just got to keep putting one foot in front of the other and dealing with each family memebers issues as they arise. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.