mrsindecision Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Hi all, have spent the best part of the last 4 years feeling sick with worry about firstly moving to Australia and secondly since getting here not really settling and wanting to stay and thirdly now deciding to move back. (after 2.5 years and a trip home in between). Our reasons for heading home are many - but mainly - real disappointment with the life, poor work opportunities, poor educational opportunities for the kids, our ages (no time to sit it out for a few more years will be "on the shelf" professionally), missing family and friends, the humour, the wit and the ability to talk meaningfuly about something important to you. We have to get the timing right with 3 kids, one in uni, one starting uni and one in school. The elder two are on board ( they miss humour, music, gigs, pubs and sharp wit, the youngest is so sad to be leaving (15) and will be at the trickiest point educationally (joining GCSEs mid flow) - if we dont go now we will have to wait 4 years by which time we will have had it. But its tearing me up seeing her so sad when she was so brave to come and now has to face starting all over again when her life is pretty damn perfect, I am just starting to bottle it - thinking it would be easier to stay than start again but knowing thats not true. Both OH and I have been feeling properly depressed and exhausted with worry about doing the right thing. I also realise how hard it was for our loved ones best friends when we left - we left a big hole for one or two very important people. We will now be doing the same to our good friends here. I just hate messing everyone about - but also recognise this could very well be a crucial now or neve moment in our lives. Any words of advice or support? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest17301 Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Forget your friends and do whats right for you. Easier said than done but may uncomplicate things. What do YOU want to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deb8181 Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 How did you feel when you came back to the UK in between times? Did you then decide you wanted to stay in the Uk or couldnt you wait to get back to Oz. Quite a few people on here have come back to the UK and regretted it and are saving their money to go back. That's the last thing you want to happen really what with the cost of everything. Is it worth having another holiday over here (funds permitting) to make sure you really want to stay here before you make the plunge? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Hi all, have spent the best part of the last 4 years feeling sick with worry about firstly moving to Australia and secondly since getting here not really settling and wanting to stay and thirdly now deciding to move back. (after 2.5 years and a trip home in between). Our reasons for heading home are many - but mainly - real disappointment with the life, poor work opportunities, poor educational opportunities for the kids, our ages (no time to sit it out for a few more years will be "on the shelf" professionally), missing family and friends, the humour, the wit and the ability to talk meaningfuly about something important to you. We have to get the timing right with 3 kids, one in uni, one starting uni and one in school. The elder two are on board ( they miss humour, music, gigs, pubs and sharp wit, the youngest is so sad to be leaving (15) and will be at the trickiest point educationally (joining GCSEs mid flow) - if we dont go now we will have to wait 4 years by which time we will have had it. But its tearing me up seeing her so sad when she was so brave to come and now has to face starting all over again when her life is pretty damn perfect, I am just starting to bottle it - thinking it would be easier to stay than start again but knowing thats not true. Both OH and I have been feeling properly depressed and exhausted with worry about doing the right thing. I also realise how hard it was for our loved ones best friends when we left - we left a big hole for one or two very important people. We will now be doing the same to our good friends here. I just hate messing everyone about - but also recognise this could very well be a crucial now or neve moment in our lives. Any words of advice or support? There is never a perfect time to make a decision like this, if you do not go now, then something else will crop up next time you feel able to go. The hardest will be your 15 yr old, but once back in UK I am sure she will make friends and settle in again. If the life here is making you depressed and feeling ill then it is not the life for you. No matter what the reason, Australia is not the perfect place for everyone and you have to think what is best for your family and yourselves. Your daughter is young enough to move back to Australia later in her life if that is her wish. She will be felling exactly the same as 15 yr olds, whose parents are thinking of moving from the UK to here. She will be afraid of starting all over again, of failing in her school exams and of losing her friends. For your own sanity you must do what you think is best for you and your family, sometimes we have to make tough decisions that our kids do not like, but I think she will support you in the long run and understand why you moved once she settles into life in the UK and starts to go out with friends and living a teenagers life in the UK. I wish you well with your move, and hope it all works out for you. :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumpkin Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Just to present a different view, but have you thought about staying for a little bit longer in order to get citizenship? It might avoid daughter having to join school mid GCSE's too. Also then perhaps she will feel better leaving knowing she has a route back in the future if that is what she wants. It is not necessarily true that she would qualify for a visa in her adulthood if she decides that Australia is for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dougie32 Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Just go with your gutt feeling! It will always be hard no matter when you go x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Go. The longer you leave it the harder it will be to leave and a 15 year old is along for the ride no matter in which direction you go. The best thing a child can have is happy parents and if neither you nor your husband are happy here then the best thing is to find yourself a place where you can be happy and the rest will fall into place. I can imagine though, it isnt easy to make a decision to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmylou23 Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Ultimately you should do what makes you happy as if you're happy your children will be happier too! The longer you leave it the harder it will be....follow your gut instinct. It might not be easy moving back to the UK, but if you'll feel happier there then it's the right move for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest oliej Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Hi, I have just joined this site whilst I was googling 'what is it like to live in the Central Coast.' I stumbled across it. And I have justsut spent the last few hours looking at all these posts about people's thoughts and feelings about moving back to the UK. Whilst I don't have any words of advice to you I completely understand your dilemma and I've been amazed at how many people want to return to UK. People seem to think you're mad for wanting to return to UK but it's far more complicated than having nice beaches , sunshine and an outdoor lifestyle. I've been here for nearly 8 years and I still feel so torn. I even booked one way tickets last year back to UK but then changed my mind. I am still seriously thimking of going back but it is so difficut when you have children who seem so settled and for my 10 and 11yr old who have lived here most of their life. It's such a difficult decision and somebody said to me 'there is no right decision' because i kept questioning what was the right thing to do. Even though I'm using that quote and it hasn't helped me to decide I do think it is an important point to remember. Good Luck with whatever you decide. jackie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsindecision Posted January 3, 2010 Author Share Posted January 3, 2010 How did you feel when you came back to the UK in between times?Did you then decide you wanted to stay in the Uk or couldnt you wait to get back to Oz. Quite a few people on here have come back to the UK and regretted it and are saving their money to go back. That's the last thing you want to happen really what with the cost of everything. Is it worth having another holiday over here (funds permitting) to make sure you really want to stay here before you make the plunge? we had a lovely time when we were back in the Uk and saw beauty in the country that we didint see before - when I was there I remember thinking if I didnt have to go back to Oz at all I wouldnt have minded. Now we're on the brink of going I think I am playing tricks with myself and comparing the best bits of Oz (sun beaches safety)with the worst bits of UK ( chavs crime greyness). When OH and I talk about our career options next - we get excited but these are only open to us in UK (or a major Oz city - which we feel is not an option as would be leaving beaches, safety). Thanks for all advice will keep ploughing on I think and give our daughter lots of love and re-assurance in the meantime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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