supa Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 I have seen threads in the past relating to people going because their partners wanted them to and because it was their dream and not their own. Must admit I'm one of those people and, despite its faults, I still love the UK. I do find it difficult to find reasons to stay some days though! I'd like to think that I will embrace Oz when we do come though. Anyway, I thought I'd open two threads so that it doesn't get confused and go off at a tangent as these sorts of threads very often do (I'm guilty of this also!). I'm going to copy this to my other opposite thread too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ozcans Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Hi, That's one of the reasons we did a rekkie. So we could both decide if WE wanted to go. I'm sure it must be hard work having to keep the other partner enthusiastic if they're not sure, especially with these longer processing times now. Even though we're in for a long wait, we still really want to go, and are going to make the best of our 'wait'. Good luck to everyone who is having to wait longer and longer because of the changes. Sue x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 It's not easy living in a place you dont want to be because your partner refuses to leave it - may I suggest that you have a cast iron agreement that if one of you doesnt like it then the other will agree to return home with them. It can be grounds for a lot of resentment and you will see many a marriage break up on here because of the normal stresses of emigration. My husband apparently told my mum on our wedding day that if I didnt like it here he would take me home - I am still searching for witnesses to that statement because he has reneged big time:biglaugh: He didnt say that to me though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Its always better if both people want to move rather than one because it means one is giving to the other. Having seen the promise of return reneged on I think promising to return is not a valid point. My best friend lives in QLD and has been there for 13 years now and she went on the promise that if she wanted to return to Vic after two years they would. She is still waiting and getting more and more disappointed which causes resentment. OH and I were talking about emigrating recently and both of us said that if we had to do what people have to do these days we would not have come. I think the same would have been for my parents too they would not have bothered as they were not that unhappy or poor to want to go through hoops for a better life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Its always better if both people want to move rather than one because it means one is giving to the other. Having seen the promise of return reneged on I think promising to return is not a valid point. My best friend lives in QLD and has been there for 13 years now and she went on the promise that if she wanted to return to Vic after two years they would. She is still waiting and getting more and more disappointed which causes resentment. LOL I was just thinking that promises to return need to be written in blood:biglaugh: otherwise blood might be shed later on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 My husband apparently told my mum on our wedding day that if I didnt like it here he would take me home - I am still searching for witnesses to that statement because he has reneged big time:biglaugh: He didnt say that to me though! Lol Good luck with your quest Quoll .... does he deny ever saying it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest smileykylie Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 I didn't wait for this to become an issue for us. When I married my husband he knew I wanted to return to Australia - but he flatly refuses to consider it. So i left him. I cannot live half a life and if he does not want to come then I will just do it myself. i realise this sounds flippant but clearly our relationship was not strong enough and I realised that my need to be with my family was stronger than the love I had for my husband - hopefully does not need to be so dramatic for others!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Lol Good luck with your quest Quoll .... does he deny ever saying it? LOL he never said it to me and it is well known that my mother's memory isnt exactly the most precise and he knows I bemoan her inaccurate memories re family history all the time. He just looked rather sheepish and said nothing:biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 I didn't wait for this to become an issue for us. When I married my husband he knew I wanted to return to Australia - but he flatly refuses to consider it. So i left him. I cannot live half a life and if he does not want to come then I will just do it myself. i realise this sounds flippant but clearly our relationship was not strong enough and I realised that my need to be with my family was stronger than the love I had for my husband - hopefully does not need to be so dramatic for others!!! Oh that's sad! For me the relationship comes before the country every time - I guess I consider the path of the least worst the one to take. Half a life just about describes it though - or maybe 3/4 on a good day! Mind you I've had mine for 36 years and only recently got the outright refusal to move - I'm too old to train up another husband:biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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