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Found 16 results

  1. Ribbon Katie

    It's not getting better.....

    Okay, last time I posted on here was 11 months ago and I was feeling unsettled ....unfortunately I still am. We have faced a few problems over the past twelve months (our house severely damaged by tenant in England, cancer diagnosis with close relative in UK) I have never felt settled here but I am the only one who doesn't want to stay. It has led to a rather strained relationship with hubby and is now at breaking point. I've struggled to find work and the two jobs I've had since arriving in September 2013, I've been on contract and they've both come to an end. I was in my last job in the Uk for 17 years and felt valued in my role at work. I had lots of friends in the Uk and was happy but we left because husband couldn't find employment during the recession. Now everything has reversed. Here in Oz my husband has been thriving at work and although he is incredibly busy, seems to enjoy it. He also plays hard and goes to lots of men only corporate events with his work, so has a very busy social life and we don't seem to be doing much as a family or couple any more. All our four children love it here and don't want to go back to the Uk and the oldest is now 14. But I just feel so unhappy, I haven't made many friends, find everything expensive, struggle with not being able to pick up permanent work and because of this I feel we're always on a tight budget, need to watch our pennies and can't afford much in the way of leisure activities. Anyway things between me and husband have been so strained that we have discussed separating. Problem is I couldn't afford to stay here and the kids won't go back to England, and I couldn't bear to be apart from the children. We keep going around in circles and we're not getting anywhere. But yesterday husband and I made a breakthrough in that he agreed to see a Relationship Counsellor to try to work through our problems, I had been badgering him to go but he was adamant he wouldn't go, so feel pleased that he has now agreed for us to go as a couple. I rang up Relationships WA and discovered a 50 minute session would be $170.....which wasn't the price I was expecting. Has anyone else felt like this and that the move to Oz created cracks with their relationship and have sought counselling. If so where did you go (apart from Realtionships WA) and was it beneficial? Would really appreciate some help as we are just not moving forward. Feel stuck... Thank you in advance Ribbon
  2. Hello, could somebody advise me on what a new employer or myself can do/ have to do, in order for me ( a RN) to switch employer. My current situation is, I came on a 457 visa, with my partner and daughter as a skilled worker, but am not happy with current employer. Went for an interview this morning and the manager said she will talk with her HR and meanwhile for I to do some homework on how it works with the visa. I am in a position to pay for it myself, that's how strong I feel about my existing employer. if anyone can direct me, I would truly appreciate your knowledge. I am here with my existing employer 15 months. Thanking you....
  3. Hello All, I would be grateful if some one can advise or give their story, in terms of immigrating from ireland/ u.k.(on a 457 business class) to begin new employment, but are really unhappy with there new employment. I am a nurse, with 20 years experience, desperately looking for advise. please help # loving australia.....
  4. I see the odd post from someone who has returned to the UK, then realized that they were happier in OZ after all. Sometimes they can come back, sometimes not? I think that some people take a long time to settle, but all the time they are gradually 'warming' to OZ. Unfortunately, it's only when they get back to the UK that they realize? I went back to England for twelve years, although it was only meant to be a holiday. I probably would have stayed if my brothers had been there too but once my parents passed away, I came back to Sydney.
  5. For unhappy expats life abroad can be hell By annanicholas The great conundrum about unhappy expats is whether they were always miserable or became so when they set foot in a new country. Aye there’s the rub. Why are some expats so unhappy? I was pondering this question when a long established expat in my valley pounced on me as I shopped in the market. Rolling her eyes and puffing like a distressed hippo she recounted events of her disastrous summer. The catalogue of horrors included interminable sunshine, pollen in the pool, visitors, lazy workmen and gardeners and the icing on the cake, plagues of insects. Ah, how those invasions of wasps, flies, frogs, mosquitoes and ants had all but driven her to the vodka bottle. It’s of course true. After more than a decade living in rural Majorca, we’ve experienced many of Egypt’s ten plagues, but thank our lucky stars that we’ve so far avoided boils, locusts and bloodied water. As for tardy builders and gardeners, everyone knows here that as soon as the first day of August arrives they melt away like butter on a hot pan. But of course, there was more to come. The traumatised expat told me how awful the local builders were in her village. Oh! Now that September had arrived they were back at the crack of dawn with their drills and hammers, chisels and saws and why, for crying out loud, did they have to sing and shout and whistle so much? And she was being driven to distraction by the constant clanging of the village church bell, the cockerels, the damned dogs barking, the donkeys braying, and the late night music from the local fiestas. The tourists had been so annoying taking the parking spaces and snaffling all the baguettes in the local bakery early morning, and she was furious that lack of rain meant her garden hose was gasping like a dying man in a desert. I asked her if she had any good news to impart. That required some thought. After a a few moments she told me that, thank heavens, she was back in the UK for a week and would have a chance to recharge her batteries and enjoy a little cool weather and some real culture. Perhaps, I mooted, life abroad just wasn’t for her and she really should contemplate upping sticks and hot footing it back to her beloved Blighty. Return to the UK? Had I not read about the riots, the pollution, disastrous economy, appalling state of the NHS, crooked banks, rising costs, and lack of sun? No, she was staying put. Nothing would induce her to return home. And so it would appear that certain expats really are unhappy wherever they are because, quite simply, they are unhappy people. Let’s hope in their dotage they won’t feel it necessary to quote the writer Colette when she said: “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realised it sooner.”
  6. The Pom Queen

    British Children so Unhappy

    I have attached the report so you can have a look through yourself. Why are British children so unhappy? Four years after Unicef sparked national soul-searching with analysis showing child well-being in the UK at the bottom of a league of developed nations, the organisation has attempted to explain our problem. The answer, it seems, is that we put too little store on family time and too much on material goods. Unicef paints a picture of a country that has got its priorities wrong - trading quality time with our children for "cupboards full of expensive toys that aren't used". "Parents in the UK want to be good parents, but aren't sure how," the research suggests. "They feel they don't have the time, and sometimes the knowledge, and often try to compensate for this by buying their children gadgets and clothes." The research compares Britain with Sweden and Spain. While the UK languishes in 21st, and last, place in the child well-being table, they come second and fifth respectively. One reason they perform so much better, according to Unicef, is that in both countries "family time is protected" and children "all have greater access to activities". "In Sweden their social policy allows family time and their culture massively reinforces it. In Spain fathers do work long hours, but the extended family is still very important and women stay at home to look after their children." The report argues that the pressure of the working environment and rampant materialism combine to damage the well-being of our children. They want our attention but we give them our money. "All children interviewed said that material goods did not make them happy, but materialism in the UK seems to be just as much of a problem for parents as children," the research concludes. "Parents in the UK often feel compelled to purchase consumer goods which are often neither wanted or treasured." It is a profoundly depressing analysis of British life, not least because it rings true.
  7. *Sigh*... I don't know where to start but need to know I'm not the only one not enjoying living here.
  8. Guest

    Unhappy teenagers!

    :arghh:HELP!!!....Having decided to make the massive move to Victoria, July 2011, (so going through visa process now, skills assesment, etc as i'm a nurse)....and talked to children about it...mixed reactions at first but all seemed up for it!(23yrs, 18yrs, 15yrs, 5 and 3 yrs of age). Now 15yr old daughter is getting very stressed and feels her world is ending.....18 yr old wants to give it a go, but can't imagine life without her friends. course we understand how they feel as we're leaving everyone behind too....but has anyone got any ideas how we can alleviate their fears? A reccie isn't an option as 7 of us and flights would just be ridiculously expensive. We've done our research and i've lived in Queensland for 3 years so have insight into life..but of course they don't. We feel we have to do what we think is right for everyone..but teenagers at best of times can be hard work, but right now:arghh:....this is how i'm feeling!
  9. cybervoodoo

    I just want to go now...

    Hi. I just don't know what to do. I'm 14 and I think most girls my age would hate to be moving to the other side of the world but I don't feel like that! I just want to go as soon as possible now. We have our visas and even had to make a validation trip because the house hadn't sold in time. After visiting Perth in august 09, I just want to go back and live there now!! Everyday I hope that the house sells and everytime we have a viewer I get my hopes up so high and then I'm crushed when we don't sell it! Obviously, I don't want to leave my friends and family but I don't feel happy in this country and want to leave like asap!!! I'm also in year 10 and I think that if we go soon, it will be better for me to settle into school and make friends instead of going when I will have to go straight into doing loads of exams! Does anyone else feel like this? Love From Elizabeth xxx
  10. I have seen threads in the past relating to people going because their partners wanted them to and because it was their dream and not their own. Must admit I'm one of those people and, despite its faults, I still love the UK. I do find it difficult to find reasons to stay some days though! I'd like to think that I will embrace Oz when we do come though. Anyway, I thought I'd open two threads so that it doesn't get confused and go off at a tangent as these sorts of threads very often do (I'm guilty of this also!). I'm going to copy this to my other opposite thread too.
  11. nurse sue


    I am just a bit emotional at mo and having a big wobble think have cried every day the past week end sept beginning october is not a good time of year for me due to people close to me died in this period so bit of a wreck at the mo with trying to work and keeping things bobbing along. then came the cream to top the cake off My eldest has informed me that he wants to return to the uk asap as is unsettled (he has only been here since july) He is struggling to make friends he is 21 and although has made some friends via P I O they are couples and he feels as he put it "the 3rd wheel" they are great people. I think his girlfriend has put some pressure on him as she is unable to visit at moment and has now decided via email to finish there friendship. He has a few big life changing knocks in the past year which i think has also dented his confidence and made him a bit more wary of people. I know i cant wipe his A*** for him but as any mum knows you cant bear to see your children unhappy . I have tried to talk to him but he just bottles things up and says it is nothing I have done. I know how i felt when we left the uk 16 mths ago and he stayed behind .i am about to apply for my permanent residency and am now having doubts about this OH is like a pig in S*** in his council job and doesnt want ot go back to uk sorry to waffle but am not sure what else i can do am so unhappy.
  12. hi Everyone, I know i have spoke to some of you about this and it looks like i am going to be a typical pingpong pom!! but i am soooo sad, i will start by telling you situation. Moved to Melbourne in 2002 and after 3 months realised Brighton was not our area to live as it was out of our price range and OH had not found work anyway, so moved down to the Mornington Peninsula where after a few years built our own house and lived happily for another 3 years. our children were 4 and 5 at the time so moving apart from the emotional side was relativly easy. Settling in was ok it took my OH a while to find work and he and i were always having conversations about work in UK compared to work in OZ (as i am sure alot of UK people have had the same conversations on here and in their homes!) I on the other hand fell into work really easy and we both have made alot of friends aussie and english . I have been very lucky that my parents have been able to come over every year even though it is only for 3 weeks i know i am very blessed however other family members have not been able to due to financial reasons. I have been back twice (well three cause im here now!!). But usually about 3 or 4 times a year i always felt guilty about leaving them and missed the cousins growing up with each other missed my brother and sister as we are a close familyetc... Certainly everytime mom and dad go back i am miserable for at least two weeks and are on the pc looking at moving to Spain or moving back for a year!! well last year my wish happened (positive thinking and all that!!) and we came back as OH was offered a job back in a skill that he had not been in for 6 years!! so for the last year we have been in UK and I could go on and on about whats happened in the last year but wont bore you all if you arnt already!!! All my kids are in school and i have to say that it is fantastic, lovely rural school only 112 kids they are all really happy and do not want to return. OH contract finishes end of March flights are booked for 31st all my friends in oz are so excited about us returning all my friends and family from uk are sad!!! don't get me wrong my family are brill and back me up 100% but you know what i mean!! Since i have been here i have definatly seen the uk in a different light and have appreciated it more but also miss elements of australia. Problem also lies that we never took our citizenship so really have to return by end of march otherwise we will not be able to take it for 2 more years!! Aaaaahhhhh someone PLEASE wave a magic wand!!! feels so much better to write all this down thanks for reading!!! Trishaxxxx:arghh:
  13. A few Simple questions. Did you have anyone try to persuade you not to move to Australia? Did you have anyone tell you about any bad points about Australia? if so what? How long did it take for you not to like Australia? and why? I think if you could all answer the questions or write down your story on why you don't like Australia anymore and place them all on one thread, people may understand a little more of where you are coming from?! Cheers Geoffrey
  14. Current affairs show Today Tonight is looking for British citizens who moved to Australia (namely Perth), but decided that the city or country wasn't for them and so moved back to the UK. TT's Perth office would love to hear from you, if this applies to either you or someone you know. We are also interested in hearing from you if you're still here, but want to move back. Please contact Francine on 08 9344 0820 or 0418 957562 to discuss it further. Look forward to hearing from you, Regards, Francine Please note: We're not after the 'whinging pom' angle here (a story which has been done to death already) - we're just interested in hearing people's stories about why they prefer their homeland to Perth/Australia. But of course, if you have complaints with the city- you're obviously more than welcome to voice them.
  15. Guest

    soooooooo unhappy

    hi all just had another email from immi, getting all excited as been a week since we emailed them with the other sat dec to now be told they want more info :arghh: i have sat hear crying as he now has to get proof of being self employed e.g company reg doc's which dont have as he has just worked with poeple they do all that he just goes and does the jobs and they know all this, taxation doc to ensure wages plus examples of major contracts/ref and invoices from supliers. i am soooooo angry and upset why they have only just done this now and not last week when they asked for other info. dont know what to do now as can only get one of those does this mean that they wont give it us then dont think we can take the stress anymore feel like giving up.:cry: sorry just needed to talk oh has just woke up said all he needs to do is send the tax thingy with his wages for past 4 yrs will do it later as they now all the other stuff julie :wubclub:
  16. Guest

    Unhappy hubby

    Hi everyone, I've just joined this great site as a member having spent hours reading some of the whole range of issues which are thrown into the air. I'm just hoping someone out there might have had a similar issue as I currently find myself in? (Apologies in advance as it is a long story). I met a great Kiwi 4 years ago and we married 2 1/2 years ago (both second time round) - we are both early 40's. He had come to the UK for a year and stayed on once he met me but always stressed that he knew he wouldn't be able to live here long term. Knowing this upfront was great and I committed (very happily) to moving to Oz or NZ with him one day. Also in the equation are my two teenage daughters who, having rebuilt a relationship with their dad, absolutely don't want to move away from Surrey leaving other close family and really good friends behind. My hope has always been that they will change their minds and move with us, but with the knowledge that one day in the future when they are older (they are currently 14 and 16) they could choose to stay in England with their dad (which would break my heart as we are very close). Current position - hubby is becoming increasingly very very depressed with life in the UK. Not only the grey, cold weather but the culture, crime etc etc (everything that lots of you mention on this site). Essentially the only thing that he is staying here for is me. I am currently sticking to my view that to force the girls to come with us now a) would not win their own dad's agreement (which he has given if they are happy to go) and b) would leave us with two really unhappy teenagers who, although they are great kids could turn into a nightmare. Am I wrong - should I just say we're going now and trust that they will come? It is getting to the point where it is just not fair for him to have to stay here but it may mean that we have to live on the opposite sides of the world for a few years. Has anyone else had the same problem - and how did they manage it? We really do have a great marriage which I don't want to see vanish. Any ideas would be so much appreciated - I'm feeling so unhappy about the whole situation right now. Thanks everyone.