Guest meme Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 What more can i say... apart from ive made up my mind and i'm going back to the land of the living. I have got so many mixed emotions, some iv never experied befofe. Iv been here nearly 6 months, spent 18 months, time, stress, stress again money, research, got family here who supported us before and after we got here to get our PR visa, sold everything, house and everthing we ever owned, did our heartbreaking goodbyes....and came here for the better life. Loved it for the first 2 months...then reality set in.....now never been so miserable all my life, cannot see how it's improved mine or my kids life, education ****e, shops ****,banks ****e, socialising ****e, aussies and sense of humour ****e, culture ****e, no history,....my god the list is just endless, if i carried on, you would fall asleep. started hinting to oh i wasn't happy after a few months, which he conveniently ignored thinking time would be a great healer, i dragged it out and it's got worse, the depresseion i'm spirralling into is unbeleivable, i have never been so bloody miserable in all my life, as i realised i actually had a fantasic life in England and also lived in a fantasic country with the best Education system and health care in the world. I;m going back home for good in the next week or so(depending on shipping and flights i get) minus oh who has refued point blank to go back and is prepared to kiss our marriage and life goodbye for oz. Don't come here thinking the streets are paved with gold, cos no matter what antone tells you or how much research you do, it's just 24 carot gold bo**ox! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Wow, that is a huge decision you have made there! Whilst I certainly know how you feel, are you sure that you want to toss your marriage in the bin and not fight for it just a little bit? Can you get the Dh to relationships counselling or something so he knows that you are really serious? (((hugs))) to you and all the best whatever happens - I hope it does all work out well for you and yours! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HappyBunny Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Oh Meme! What has brought this on, you sound so miserable and alone. I really hope you have thought things through. Is six months enough to really make things work? If your relationship was strong before you came here you can get through this together if you want to. It is only natural to miss home and miss the familiarity of everything you have known for so long and sure, there are things here that can get you down, but if things were so wonderful in England why did you come? remember the reasons you came here in the first place and decide what is most important to you. Good luck whatever you decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gemmahey Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 aussies and sense of humour ****e, Thats your opinion only of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 What more can i say... apart from ive made up my mind and i'm going back to the land of the living. I have got so many mixed emotions, some iv never experied befofe. Iv been here nearly 6 months, spent 18 months, time, stress, stress again money, research, got family here who supported us before and after we got here to get our PR visa, sold everything, house and everthing we ever owned, did our heartbreaking goodbyes....and came here for the better life. Loved it for the first 2 months...then reality set in.....now never been so miserable all my life, cannot see how it's improved mine or my kids life, education ****e, shops ****,banks ****e, socialising ****e, aussies and sense of humour ****e, culture ****e, no history,....my god the list is just endless, if i carried on, you would fall asleep. started hinting to oh i wasn't happy after a few months, which he conveniently ignored thinking time would be a great healer, i dragged it out and it's got worse, the depresseion i'm spirralling into is unbeleivable, i have never been so bloody miserable in all my life, as i realised i actually had a fantasic life in England and also lived in a fantasic country with the best Education system and health care in the world. I;m going back home for good in the next week or so(depending on shipping and flights i get) minus oh who has refued point blank to go back and is prepared to kiss our marriage and life goodbye for oz. Don't come here thinking the streets are paved with gold, cos no matter what antone tells you or how much research you do, it's just 24 carot gold bo**ox! Sorry you are feeling this way. I felt like you did a couple of times. I have to say I love it here now. Been here 8 months or so and it has grown on me. Australia is different to the uk. If you came here for the things you had in the uk like the NHS, education, culture, same shops etc then you will, not surprisingly, be disappointed. I have learned to adapt to the australian way of life, and once you do that it grows on you, for some not others. I would say to you if you have absoloutely no desire to be here then maybe go back to yhe uk. I wish you luck and hope you are doing the right thing. We both work hard here, as we did in the uk, we did not expect the streets to be paved with gold we just work as hard as we did in the uk but in our opinion the rewards are greater. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jchrisj Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 What more can i say... apart from ive made up my mind and i'm going back to the land of the living. I have got so many mixed emotions, some iv never experied befofe. Iv been here nearly 6 months, spent 18 months, time, stress, stress again money, research, got family here who supported us before and after we got here to get our PR visa, sold everything, house and everthing we ever owned, did our heartbreaking goodbyes....and came here for the better life. Loved it for the first 2 months...then reality set in.....now never been so miserable all my life, cannot see how it's improved mine or my kids life, education ****e, shops ****,banks ****e, socialising ****e, aussies and sense of humour ****e, culture ****e, no history,....my god the list is just endless, if i carried on, you would fall asleep. started hinting to oh i wasn't happy after a few months, which he conveniently ignored thinking time would be a great healer, i dragged it out and it's got worse, the depresseion i'm spirralling into is unbeleivable, i have never been so bloody miserable in all my life, as i realised i actually had a fantasic life in England and also lived in a fantasic country with the best Education system and health care in the world. I;m going back home for good in the next week or so(depending on shipping and flights i get) minus oh who has refued point blank to go back and is prepared to kiss our marriage and life goodbye for oz. Don't come here thinking the streets are paved with gold, cos no matter what antone tells you or how much research you do, it's just 24 carot gold bo**ox! Just so we all understand, this is your personell opinion ONLY.....................Yes!!!!! Must be some benefits or oh would be with you as well. Regards Chris:huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest trixabella Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 it always really scares me when i read threads like this becos we only submitted our application a month ago so were not even there yet, but it makes me think am i doing the right thing dragging my family to the other side of the world just becos i "think" we might like it. if it didnt work for you wot makes me so special that it will work for me? ive already had my stroppy 14 year old son telling me he doesnt want to come when we go next year :skeptical: i guess we all just have to give it our best shot and hope it turns out ok and if it doesnt at least we tried Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gemmahey Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 it always really scares me when i read threads like this becos we only submitted our application a month ago so were not even there yet, but it makes me think am i doing the right thing dragging my family to the other side of the world just becos i "think" we might like it. if it didnt work for you wot makes me so special that it will work for me? ive already had my stroppy 14 year old son telling me he doesnt want to come when we go next year :skeptical: i guess we all just have to give it our best shot and hope it turns out ok and if it doesnt at least we tried Hey There; Please dont worry, every single ones personnal experiances are absolutely, totally differant. Whats right for one is not always right for the other. Please try and make it YOUR'S and your familys experiance and not be clouded by any one elses experiances good or bad. Go with the flow and take each day as it comes and try not to look too far into the future. If its not right for you, least you can say you have done it , there isnt a barriar over the U.K stating you cant go back if it doesnt work out. Least then you have tried it and not sat here in 2 years time thinking 'What if...........' Thats wat I am doin and I fly 4 weeks on Thursday with my aussie partner, and all i know is i wouldn't change him or his country for the world as it has gave me a chance of a life time and I wouldn't be without him. Xx:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jchrisj Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 it always really scares me when i read threads like this becos we only submitted our application a month ago so were not even there yet, but it makes me think am i doing the right thing dragging my family to the other side of the world just becos i "think" we might like it. if it didnt work for you wot makes me so special that it will work for me? ive already had my stroppy 14 year old son telling me he doesnt want to come when we go next year :skeptical: i guess we all just have to give it our best shot and hope it turns out ok and if it doesnt at least we tried Just go through the forum. Theres more in oz living it and lovin it, than are running home to mummy! No it's not for everyone, and iam amazed at the amount of people who make the emigration to australia decision after watching a tv programme, or because of a feeling. With no knowlege of another country, other than the edited highlights of a tv programe, and without going to the country concerned, how can any one make a decision regarding there family's future. Right, said me bit..........................Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!! Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PommyPaul Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Sad to hear it didn't work out for you meme and that you wasted so much time and money! I think people do need to read and see threads like this as there is alot to lose if it turns out you did make the wrong decision, but at the end of the day you can blame australia as much as you like but the fact is australia has always been the same, perhaps you just didn't research enought before making the move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 it always really scares me when i read threads like this becos we only submitted our application a month ago so were not even there yet, but it makes me think am i doing the right thing dragging my family to the other side of the world just becos i "think" we might like it. if it didnt work for you wot makes me so special that it will work for me? ive already had my stroppy 14 year old son telling me he doesnt want to come when we go next year :skeptical: i guess we all just have to give it our best shot and hope it turns out ok and if it doesnt at least we tried Yeah but is he just a stroppy 14 year old? My strppoy 14 year old girl has said much the same thing despite the fact that her Father her Sister her Aunt, cousins and Nan already live there! But then she is just stroppy and difficult about everything at the moment!!!!!!!:wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewebweazel Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Yeah but is he just a stroppy 14 year old? My strppoy 14 year old girl has said much the same thing despite the fact that her Father her Sister her Aunt, cousins and Nan already live there! But then she is just stroppy and difficult about everything at the moment!!!!!!!:wacko: Hey my 10 year Daughter is already Stroppy and her 2year old is already going the same way! Luckily she is bugging me about when we can move to OZ:biglaugh: I other post I see people talking about making a mistake by having made the move. I don't see how that is a mistake, they have just learnt that OZ is not the place for them, they can move back home with new knowledge. Looking at the UK with fresh eyes make you appreciate the good things in the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beverley Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 What more can i say... apart from ive made up my mind and i'm going back to the land of the living. I have got so many mixed emotions, some iv never experied befofe. Iv been here nearly 6 months, spent 18 months, time, stress, stress again money, research, got family here who supported us before and after we got here to get our PR visa, sold everything, house and everthing we ever owned, did our heartbreaking goodbyes....and came here for the better life. Loved it for the first 2 months...then reality set in.....now never been so miserable all my life, cannot see how it's improved mine or my kids life, education ****e, shops ****,banks ****e, socialising ****e, aussies and sense of humour ****e, culture ****e, no history,....my god the list is just endless, if i carried on, you would fall asleep. started hinting to oh i wasn't happy after a few months, which he conveniently ignored thinking time would be a great healer, i dragged it out and it's got worse, the depresseion i'm spirralling into is unbeleivable, i have never been so bloody miserable in all my life, as i realised i actually had a fantasic life in England and also lived in a fantasic country with the best Education system and health care in the world. I;m going back home for good in the next week or so(depending on shipping and flights i get) minus oh who has refued point blank to go back and is prepared to kiss our marriage and life goodbye for oz. Don't come here thinking the streets are paved with gold, cos no matter what antone tells you or how much research you do, it's just 24 carot gold bo**ox! ok i am going to say to say a few things which i expect i am not going to get any good replies. But you saying your husband is prepared to kiss your marriage goodbye but arnt you doing the same thing? if your preapred to leave your husband then you are just the same kissing your marriage goodbye. have you tried changing your job to see if you can make friends somewhere else? Or is your marriage that is the factor here your marriage isnt strong enough to cope through this move? If you see yourself happy without him in the uk then ok i understand. but if you move back and your just going to be unhappy without him then why are you coming home? I personally would come home for a few months just to see. there must have been reasons for you moving over to oz or why would you have gone? I totally understand that homesickness is a killer, as i have been through the same. but once i got home belive me it took one week and i had seen everyone and after that no one bothered. i am ready to move again and am prepared for the heart ache and homesickess . I just think its your marriage here that isnt working then carry one, if its the homesickness then try and vist uk a few times and get your friends and family to visit you this will help abit abit wiith that. the first couple of years will be hard in oz, as always its the things you cant have that you miss. but just think, maybe the things that you miss arnt really that important?! I always think about the things i will miss eg boots, m&s, boots, sainsburys, cheaper clothers etc . but think about the things you will miss if you move back to the uk. ive read this email back and thought a few times about posting this, but i ask you this have you really gave it a good go? Dont hate me please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Miss M x Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Hi I have to agree with beverley, surely the move in the first place took alot of compromise between you and your husband and although i have never stepped foot in Oz I will make sure i have done every bit of research i possibly can before i go although saying that our decision has already been made and i guess nobody really knows what Oz is like till you're there but i sure as hell will not throw my marriage away after 6 months just because i'm struggling to settle we have agreed 2 years minimum before any decisions are made on whether to stay or go, i live in Manchester and have done so since i met my O/H at 17 and i hated it with a vengance for the first 2 to 3 years and although i don't like it much now 15 years later (only because i don't like the UK full stop) i would never of jacked it in so soon at the risk of losing my husband especially with a child which have you thought about the fact that your child is getting the negative vibes from you beacuse you are adament you don't like it there, i don't mean to sound harsh and i wish you all the best in your marriage and any decision you make but it seems to me you are very angry at the moment and are maybe just throwing in the towel to prove a point to your husband that you are serious about not liking Oz and you want some support from him Good luck xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jchrisj Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 ok i am going to say to say a few things which i expect i am not going to get any good replies. But you saying your husband is prepared to kiss your marriage goodbye but arnt you doing the same thing? if your preapred to leave your husband then you are just the same kissing your marriage goodbye. have you tried changing your job to see if you can make friends somewhere else? Or is your marriage that is the factor here your marriage isnt strong enough to cope through this move? If you see yourself happy without him in the uk then ok i understand. but if you move back and your just going to be unhappy without him then why are you coming home? I personally would come home for a few months just to see. there must have been reasons for you moving over to oz or why would you have gone? I totally understand that homesickness is a killer, as i have been through the same. but once i got home belive me it took one week and i had seen everyone and after that no one bothered. i am ready to move again and am prepared for the heart ache and homesickess . I just think its your marriage here that isnt working then carry one, if its the homesickness then try and vist uk a few times and get your friends and family to visit you this will help abit abit wiith that. the first couple of years will be hard in oz, as always its the things you cant have that you miss. but just think, maybe the things that you miss arnt really that important?! I always think about the things i will miss eg boots, m&s, boots, sainsburys, cheaper clothers etc . but think about the things you will miss if you move back to the uk. ive read this email back and thought a few times about posting this, but i ask you this have you really gave it a good go? Dont hate me please! Cant hate someone for having an opinion. Clicked youre rep button for this reply......................well done Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dnex721 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Hi Meme, Your thread sounds very sad - i hate to pass judgement on your predicement but i think maybe you really haven't given it your all. It sounds like you have convinced yourself that all and everything australian is BAD, it is a common human flaw that we sprial into hate and dislike once we convinced it is wrong. Sorry hun but it is how you came across in the message 1. where in oz are you? 2. are there any forum members close by -meet up and chat? 3. at least try a little longer - give it til new year , plan an awesome christmas for you all in oz and put everything in to it? Hope you try it .. speak soon Bev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jewels1356 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 well that was a very strong letter i hope you felt better for it i hope you have made the right desision to come back to gb but i think not will your freinds still be your freinds when yuou returne after all they were probley both of youR (freinds) i love ozz cant wait to go no iam not sure iam doing the right thing leaviong my daughter and grandkids but its a dream and iam going to fullfill it ian sorry your dream turned sour but are you really sure your not looking at gb thro rose tinted glasses it seems to change every week and not for the better i do wish you luck and happines in your future whatever you decied juli xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewebweazel Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Although I agree in principle with Beverly and Miss M on this one. Emigrating to another country can be hugely stressful. Having done this once already I can say that the move has brought my DW and myself closer together (before all the ahhhhs is that not sweet, please note that she still throws knives and crockery at me) ,but that might be that neither my DW or myself can move back to South Africa from the UK after our experiences. Meme I think that a serious discussion need to take place between you and your Hubby before you make any decisions, I wish you all the best with what ever you choose. Cheers Craig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dnex721 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Yeah but is he just a stroppy 14 year old? My strppoy 14 year old girl has said much the same thing despite the fact that her Father her Sister her Aunt, cousins and Nan already live there! But then she is just stroppy and difficult about everything at the moment!!!!!!!:wacko: Hi I have a stroppy teen saying exactly the same - but find solace in the number of parents that have posted that once there their teen brat has settled in well and loves the lifestyle no its not for everyone but i for one am determined that i give it a bloody good go ! :wacko: Speak soon Bev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewebweazel Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Sorry duplicate post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gary12 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 If you read meme's post you will see that she says she is depressed, not just having an off day or feeling a bit down but depressed. I think right now what she is looking for is support in her decision not suggestions to stick it out. I do hope that she manages to be happy. best wishes Michelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lunarz123 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Beverley, Poor you. I can really relate - my OH went to Australia a couple of times on business and then out of the blue he told me that he had been offered a job over there and 'can we please go'. He is there 3 weeks out of every 4 at the moment, and we never see each other. He is 'in love' with Australia. It's like he is having affair. He is not close to his family, whereas I am, he has no idea of the financial implications or the practicalities involved in moving over there - that's down to me. He keeps renting out motorbikes and sending me pictures of the sea etc. He loves it. He can't wait to get there. Myself, I have a lot to leave behind, and a lot of stress to go through before we get there. To be honest, I am concerned about getting there and having no family and no safety net to fall back on. Despite all that, I still think it is a better life over there. The UK is really falling on it's knees at the moment. It is turning to winter, it's cold. No one can sell their houses, people are being made redundant. You can't turn on the news without hearing doom and gloom about the future. People are scared for the future here. It's not like it was even six months ago. Ive come to see that the England a lot of us pine after isn't here anymore, even when you still live here. Maybe you can talk to your husband. Let him know how you are really feeling, let him know that you need support. I am sure that he is not really aware of how serious the situation is, and how unhappy you are. I am sure he doesn't really believe that you are going home. Can you maybe commit to one year between you and see how things go - try and ride out the credit crunch in the UK and give yourselves some time to get used to things? See it as a long holiday or an adventure? You can always go back - you are always a British citizen. Whatever happens, you are not alone, and I really hope you are OK and it works out for you. Sue xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lunarz123 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Whoops sorry Beverley - I'm talking to Meme's original post. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Miss M x Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Michelle People post on here to get opinions on what they are thinking of doing or are doing and i agree that meme does need support but by that do you think we should all reply and go there there sweetie you're doing the right thing throwing away your marriage, childrens family security and probably a dream she had of living in Oz, i think not, it is a huge decision she is making and i'm sure not one she's taking lightly surely not one i would like to have to make but at the same time her post does come accross as she's angry at her husband and would therfore be making her decision for the wrong reason..........i may be completely wrong but i am not going to just agree with someone when i don't agree with what they are saying in fear of upsetting them or other posters I wish meme all the best in her decisions x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sweetpea0701 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Just go through the forum.Theres more in oz living it and lovin it, than are running home to mummy! No it's not for everyone, and iam amazed at the amount of people who make the emigration to australia decision after watching a tv programme, or because of a feeling. With no knowlege of another country, other than the edited highlights of a tv programe, and without going to the country concerned, how can any one make a decision regarding there family's future. Right, said me bit..........................Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!! Chris Oh Chris I am a member of your fan club ....you straight talking northerner!!!! FANTASTIC :jiggy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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