Helenandcharlie Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 Hi all I am new to the forum and have searched posts but they are all several years old so thought I would ask on here (hopefully it's the right place). Me & my partner want to emigrate to Queensland in the next few years. We both have children from previous relationships. I understand I would need the permission off my girls father to remove them from the UK which I know he won't give me. We were in court recently over access (nothing changed from what we already did and I hadn't stopped his access either) and he was proven in court to be a liar and was told to start putting his children first. The court proceedings were nothing more than to stress out me & the children and for him to have control. He is recorded as being emotionally abusive towards me and the girls and also financially abusive. However, he does have regular contact with the children and pays maintenance. We have visited Australia last year which has just spurred us on even more to want to make the move. I know it won't be easy and the grass isn't always greener and it will be really tough but that's not putting us off. Mine & my youngest daughters health could also be greatly improved by a warmer climate. What I am wondering is, has anyone been to court recently over this and can offer me any advise? I am not trying to stop the girls having a relationship with their father, I wouldn't do that. I will be putting in any application that there will be a minimum of 2 facetime/Skype calls a week, school events will be recorded and sent through, copies of all school reports etc will be sent, I will be back in the UK for at least 2 weeks every year and their dad is welcome to come to Australia to see us or meet us somewhere half way if that's not an option (I will even pay if I have to). I have already researched schools, houses, areas, extra curricular clubs etc. Is there anything else I need to do? Thank you in advance! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 From accounts from others who have gone through this you will have to prove to the court why it's in the children's best interest to remove them from the country/absent parent. If you have proof of him being emotionally abusive to you and the children this may go in your favour (but wouldn't avoid a court case). Two weeks every year may be a big commitment - you are likely to only get 20 days holiday per year, if you don't get a job right away - will this be something you can maintain? Your partner will also have to include his children on the application as non migrating children - some people find that their ex partners won't agree to the medicals - so best to check this out. Have you asked him if he would let the girls go and sign? I've known in the past some have said to their ex that they would not expect them to pay maintenance if they are not seeing them regularly/in the same country - and for some this had made a difference. I'm assuming that you've researched which visa etc you can go on and the skill requirements - when do you plan on moving? The lists change all the time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helenandcharlie Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 My solicitor does have proof, as does the local family court and it's noted with womens aid etc regarding the abuse. He has said he won't let me take the girls and even tried to obtain a court order to prevent me from taking the children out of the country (a judge didn't even entertain it and told him to stop being controlling) so I know he won't sign for us to go. He does know that I am prepared to go to court on it. We have looked into visas and think the 189 is the best one for us. My partner is an electrician by trade so his trade is on the current list and he has looked into the skills test. We are aiming for the next 2-3 years to move over but just want to do as much research as we can and do everything right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I think quite a lot of the older threads may still be relevant as in what to expect and prepare for. I recall reading in the past you will be expected to foot the bill re trips to the Uk for the kids if you are the one taking them away as it were. Those things are on you. I am sure we ha d couple of people recently who have taken children but perhaps it didn't end up in court, maybe was signed before hand. Might have been leave to remove cases though, can't really recall and don't want to have to dig around this late looking for the posts tbh. I recall something about a mirror order in Aus being discussed. I think you need to have everything fully prepared if it goes to court. As in a plan for where to live, school, activities etc for kids, why it will be a good move for them and more. And of course lay out the keeping in touc, how you will fund and arrange the trips back etc. Do you have a legal bod who specialises in this sort of thing to assist your case? If not, may be worthwhile seeking one out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helenandcharlie Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 I have a solicitor who knows about this area but not sure how expert he is. I would foot the bill for any flights as I would be flying with them anyway so wouldn't expect anyone else too. Also, I wouldn't expect any maintenance or money towards activities etc from their dad as it is my choice. I just want to be as prepared as possible in case and know what I need to have in place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelpie Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 On 09/01/2018 at 14:27, Helenandcharlie said: I have a solicitor who knows about this area but not sure how expert he is. I would foot the bill for any flights as I would be flying with them anyway so wouldn't expect anyone else too. Also, I wouldn't expect any maintenance or money towards activities etc from their dad as it is my choice. I just want to be as prepared as possible in case and know what I need to have in place. If you want to pm me I can tell you what we did in court and had to show/prove etc be prepared for a hard slog but it's deffinatly worth it xx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mcguinnessp1968 Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Personally speaking if i was there father and you were taking them to the other side of the world I would fight you tooth and nail too 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip1 Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 11 hours ago, Angelpie said: If you want to pm me I can tell you what we did in court and had to show/prove etc be prepared for a hard slog but it's deffinatly worth it xx Definitely worth it for who? Certainly not the father and very questionable for the children either 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 (edited) Some of the above posts are unnecessarily harsh, but it does raise a question - why do you want to move to Australia? You may say you don't want to stop the girls having a relationship with their father, but that's exactly what the effect will be. Facetime and Skype are a pale substitute for real contact, as any UK grandparent of Aussie children will tell you. If your aim is to distance your children from their father, then you'll very likely achieve your goal - but I'm sure you're not that vindictive. Also, be aware that very few migrants fly back to the UK every year because most can't afford it. If you are very well off then you might find it's manageable financially, but it will be wearying for yourself and the children, especially for just two weeks. You may have reasons for migrating that we're not aware of - maybe your partner is Australian, for instance. If that's the case, then uprooting the children may be something you can't avoid, and you'll have to do the best you can. However, if you have no strong ties with Australia, I'd question why you'd be so heartless as to deprive your ex-partners of their own children. If you think you're moving to Australia to give your children a better future then please, think again - it's a myth. Australia is a lovely country and Australian children grow up just as happy and successful as children in the UK - but that's it. It's not a better place to bring up children, it's not worse, it's just different. Education is about the same (like the UK, it depends on the area you live in), unemployment is about the same, salaries are about the same (when you take cost of living into account). Career opportunities are, if anything, more limited, because our population is so small. There's a reason so many Australians end up moving to the UK or Asia to get ahead (my stepdaughter recently had to move to Hong Kong to get a promotion). You might say, "If that's the case, why do so many people migrate then?" I wonder that myself, but I think it's partly because only twenty years ago, Australia WAS the land of opportunity, and so many Brits have relatives and friends who migrated then and have done well, they think it's still the same. Unfortunately it's not. My worry is that you're moving to Australia to run away from all the b******* of having to deal with ex-partners etc, but if so, that's not a good reason to go. Your children deserve to know their birth parents. Edited February 12, 2018 by Marisawright 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelpie Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 8 hours ago, Tulip1 said: Definitely worth it for who? Certainly not the father and very questionable for the children either When you've experienced years of domestic violence physically, mentally and financially, including a danger to your children ( mine don't even see their father by their own choice) then yes all the stress of having to go through court etc is worth it- if a father or mother genuinely loved and wanted the best for their children tell me why any parent would put people they are suppose to love through hell? The move to aus wasn't taken lightly for me and it hinged on if my children wanting to go if they had said no that would of been it we would of gone for holidays only - but then if my ex had been a good man chances are we would still be together rather than him nearly killing me, you have a small snippet of these people's lives but judge harshly I'm all for keeping families 'together' but sometimes it's just not that black and white i do very much see your point though there are many people who do this for their own benefit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Angelpie said: When you've experienced years of domestic violence physically, mentally and financially...tell me why any parent would put people they are suppose to love through hell? In the situation where the ex is a danger to the family, then I can certainly see why you'd want to put as many miles between you as possible! We don't know the OP's position but she does say there will be continuing access, including two weeks' holiday with him, so I'm not reading that necessity there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helenandcharlie Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 I asked for advise not a personal attack on my life. As I said I am not doing anything to stop my children having a relationship with their father. If they want contact they can. I am not thinking if moving to run away, I’ve done my research and know the pros and cons. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 The subject of removing children does sometimes bring out strong views. Let’s try to stick to the topic and answer the questions asked Thanks in advance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelpie Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 2 hours ago, Marisawright said: In the situation where the ex is a danger to the family, then I can certainly see why you'd want to put as many miles between you as possible! We don't know the OP's position but she does say there will be continuing access, including two weeks' holiday with him, so I'm not reading that necessity there. These things can be far more complicated sometimes than is readable my youngest was made to see her dad even though I never stopped either of them going and even though he is a danger to them and it was proven , which is why I said what I did because so often the person who has custody and wants to relocate whether it be Australia or uk seems to get jumped on for being the unreasonable one I do very much see both sides of the argument, courts do not make their decisions lightly even when dv and absent parents are involved everyone deserves happiness ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelpie Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Helenandcharlie said: I asked for advise not a personal attack on my life. As I said I am not doing anything to stop my children having a relationship with their father. If they want contact they can. I am not thinking if moving to run away, I’ve done my research and know the pros and cons. I wish you and your family all the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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