aconcannon Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 In the 2.5 years I've lived here I've been homesick very few times, and even then it's more been nostalgic than homesick. However, having recently returned from the UK following a bereavement I can't help but feel homesick - mostly pining for family, worrying about my parents getter old, questioning to some extent am I doing the right thing my by living here... I was the same for a few weeks in January when we returned from a month in the UK over Xmas...is anybody else the same after returning from their visits home?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 2 minutes ago, aconcannon said: In the 2.5 years I've lived here I've been homesick very few times, and even then it's more been nostalgic than homesick. However, having recently returned from the UK following a bereavement I can't help but feel homesick - mostly pining for family, worrying about my parents getter old, questioning to some extent am I doing the right thing my by living here... I was the same for a few weeks in January when we returned from a month in the UK over Xmas...is anybody else the same after returning from their visits home?? It's not easy that's for sure. I was always sadder - not homesick - when Mum stayed here for a few months then returned to the UK. I missed her so much. I can't say I was really homesick after a stay in the UK but I do sympathise with you. Mum was hale and hearty when we spent Christmas and New Year with her (many years ago now) and I didn't worry about her as she was close to her sister who lived nearby and she had a great social life. We spoke on the phone every Sunday and she was full of news and seemed very well but she had a stroke and died in the April after the Christmas and New Year visit. As I said it's not easy at all and living thousands of miles away makes it so much harder. If you don't feel any better about being so far away from your parents, it's going to be decision time - go back to be close to them or stay here. Not easy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Yes ,,, i have been back twice in the last 18mth , the first for a holiday, the second due to my father suddenly passing away. Both times i felt down every now and again for a week or so after id returned. Its the same when we have family come over, makes me a bit sad to see them go, so id say its pretty normal for you to feel that away. Cal x 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aconcannon Posted November 7, 2017 Author Share Posted November 7, 2017 It's not easy that's for sure. I was always sadder - not homesick - when Mum stayed here for a few months then returned to the UK. I missed her so much. I can't say I was really homesick after a stay in the UK but I do sympathise with you. Mum was hale and hearty when we spent Christmas and New Year with her (many years ago now) and I didn't worry about her as she was close to her sister who lived nearby and she had a great social life. We spoke on the phone every Sunday and she was full of news and seemed very well but she had a stroke and died in the April after the Christmas and New Year visit. As I said it's not easy at all and living thousands of miles away makes it so much harder. If you don't feel any better about being so far away from your parents, it's going to be decision time - go back to be close to them or stay here. Not easy.Thanks & so sorry to hear about your mum that's really sad news - It's definitely not easy living on the other side of the world is it! Sadly, my mum won't fly so the pressure is always on my husband & I to keep going back home! There's only my older brother & I & he also lives overseas. My parents don't have a big network of friends, my husband & I were very much their social life until we emigrated so I do worry a lot about them as I know they aren't particularly happy & I know I'm kind of to blame. It's so hard sometimes! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aconcannon Posted November 7, 2017 Author Share Posted November 7, 2017 Yes ,,, i have been back twice in the last 18mth , the first for a holiday, the second due to my father suddenly passing away. Both times i felt down every now and again for a week or so after id returned. Its the same when we have family come over, makes me a bit sad to see them go, so id say its pretty normal for you to feel that away. Cal xSo sorry to hear about the passing of your father, that's very sad pleaded to hear I'm not the only one who gets homesick after returning from a trip home. Few friends I've spoken to said they're glad to return & don't miss home so I was starting to worry am I not normal, haha! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Just now, aconcannon said: So sorry to hear about the passing of your father, that's very sad pleaded to hear I'm not the only one who gets homesick after returning from a trip home. Few friends I've spoken to said they're glad to return & don't miss home so I was starting to worry am I not normal, haha! Thank you, it was very unexpected and sudden. Both times i have been glad to return to the warmth, my friends and job (not forgetting my fur babies) ,lol but i still miss family like hell, and thats after being here 11 years ! Cal x 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 1 minute ago, aconcannon said: Thanks & so sorry to hear about your mum that's really sad news - It's definitely not easy living on the other side of the world is it! Sadly, my mum won't fly so the pressure is always on my husband & I to keep going back home! There's only my older brother & I & he also lives overseas. My parents don't have a big network of friends, my husband & I were very much their social life until we emigrated so I do worry a lot about them as I know they aren't particularly happy & I know I'm kind of to blame. It's so hard sometimes! That does make it difficult if you think they aren't happy and probably miss you. Mum was also on her own as Dad died a few years before we came to Australia. Also my brother and sister worked overseas. Mum encouraged us to be very independent and loved visiting us in the various different countries so we didn't feel too guilty about leaving her. What a shame your parents can't visit you here to see what your life is like now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 18 minutes ago, calNgary said: Yes ,,, i have been back twice in the last 18mth , the first for a holiday, the second due to my father suddenly passing away. Both times i felt down every now and again for a week or so after id returned. Its the same when we have family come over, makes me a bit sad to see them go, so id say its pretty normal for you to feel that away. Cal x So sorry to hear about your Dad calNgary. xx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 That is one of the very difficult things about being so far away, Cal. You feel so helpless when there is a death or serious illness- hope things are better for you now. I used to feel sad and weird for a while even when nothing like that had happened and I think some of it was due to jetlag and the body and mind adjusting to a different time zone - plus you are kind of saying 'goodbye' to your past each time you leave. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 I Googled "Homesickness and guilt" and immediately came up with some interesting sites. I don't know how to cut and paste on my phone. I used to go back and forth and my parents used to do the same and I still feel a measure of guilt for breaking the family up. My parents never tried to deter me or my brothers from coming here or encourage me to return though I did do it thru changed circumstances and opportunities - losing my job after 15 years, and the fact that my parents were still alive. I had a good 12 years back in England and came back to Sydney after my parents passed away. I don't know how to "cure" Homesickness though perhaps I suppose homesickness could be a result of other problems and going home might transfer those problems rather than cure them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Yup. It got worse as they and I got older. In their mid 80s it was nigh on unbearable for me. Neither of my parents or any of my relatives ever tried to guilt me but I was good at doing that myself. It’s more than that guilt for me though my depression came from a failure to “belong” in Australia- I’ve tried but I just can’t and that got worse with age too. We are now back in U.K. caring for my olds - mum died in January and dad struggles on. We gave them time in their own home for which I am grateful but, honestly, if I was offered the option of “getting the call” or being a 24 hour carer for my once strong parents who are deteriorating before my eyes, I would take the former. Take the guilt out of the equation and do you “belong” in Australia? If the answer is no then the homesick feeling will get worse with every visit.There isn’t a magic answer to it but listen to when your heart sings. If the weight comes off your shoulders as you fly over the Thames - that’s home. If OTOH you. Any wait to get on a plane out and your heart sings as you cross the GABA then you know where you need to be. There’s no right and wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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