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Dream is over!!

34 posts in this topic

I'm sorry its not working out as you planned but as ameber of the sandwich generation its not just about the kids. If you were to return you would have to deal with the reality of ageing parents and trust me that is not something that can be easily managed from a time zone 12 hours apart. Plus the reality is post Brexit your money will not go nearly as far in Aus as it did when you were last here. Tough but true. I suspect your unhappiness has more to do with the family situation and less to do with location. A holiday in Aus may just aggravate the wound, but you need a holiday. There are plenty of warm exotic locations that are not Aus, treat yourself

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HI Scottiegirl, thanks for your reply.

 

The decision for me to return to UK was quite simple, my son gave me a gorgeous grandchild, so it was a no brainer. It was our only reason for returning because he would Skype us with his little girl sitting on his lap and I wanted to be part of her life, I missed not seeing her in person.

 

However, we feel cheated out of returning because our son has turned out to be selfish, uncaring and we hardly see him, despite living not even 1 minute away, he has also had a son too since our return. We have had many fall outs as we never or hardly get included in their lives now we are back. To this day, we cannot understand why it is like this, although his girlfriend has the say in everything and what she says, goes. Everything is all about her family, not ours, and he goes along with it. We have so much love to give to our grandchildren and we are not even allowed to pop round unless an appointment is made. He promises things and is always letting us down, not only us, but other family members too. My parents even moved into the area to be a part of their lives and they feel left out too.

 

So, you can get the jist of things and why I feel like I do. If we knew it was going to be like this we wouldn't have come back, but none of us have a crystal ball, so I have this situation right under my nose.

 

Our daughter, who is nearly 26, has been wonderful and if we ever return to Oz she said she will come too this time. But we will have to wait and see what the future holds.

Please don't take this personal as it's hard knowing anyone from a few paragraphs on a forum, but you sound as though you may be suffering from depression.

In regards to grandchildren, it is something I have worried about. Unfortunately as the mother to the son we get and will get left out of a lot of things as our daughter in law will,always be with her family and our sons will have to follow. We just have to realise they have their own life.

Whatever you decide I wish you all the best :hug:

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Imy definitely not depressed, just angry and frustrated.

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Got to be more than that. You really think it's acceptable to turn up unannounced to a household with two young kids? If they have had a bad night and the place is a mess still in their PJ's? My missus wouldn't have opened the door! I take it words were said to your husbands partner? So you don't want to mend fences - you just want to leave to the other side of the world like you did previously?

 

You're not doing yourself any favours hon.

 

Are you serious??? You might be jumping the gun a little here. That's quite a judgement to make about Bubbly Boo. To be honest I never really cared when my in laws turned up, they just needed to respect that we had a house full of young children. We were never judged on tidiness, or whether my wife had make up on. They would text to let us know they were out and about and thought they'd call in any case most of the time. As the son in law I could have requested appointments I would guess, but we all get on fine so it would never happen!

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Need to get this off my chest:

 

AM I BEING SELFISH????

 

 

 

Why are you asking a bunch of anonymous strangers on a web forum for advice on your marital problems ?

 

Its your husband you should be talking to.

 

This is always a problem for mixed aussie/brit marriages.

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Are you serious??? You might be jumping the gun a little here. That's quite a judgement to make about Bubbly Boo. To be honest I never really cared when my in laws turned up, they just needed to respect that we had a house full of young children. We were never judged on tidiness, or whether my wife had make up on. They would text to let us know they were out and about and thought they'd call in any case most of the time. As the son in law I could have requested appointments I would guess, but we all get on fine so it would never happen!

 

There's turning up - I would never do that to I one of my sons! - And then there is living less than a minute away from them - if my in laws had done that to our family (or, I daresay, if our family had done it to us!) I would have run a mile! At one stage my mother in law wrote to tell us that the house next door to them was for sale and wouldn't we want to move there - uh, no!!!!! For the most part we wait to be invited into our sons' homes and they do much the same. My sons both have mothers in law who don't wait to be invited and who just walk in and for one of them at least that bugs the heck of of him! The other son is more FIFO so it doesn't get him so much but they are both used to being very independent.

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Im not saying I would ever just turn up without being invited round. Wish I'd never put the post on here now, seems comments are getting too judgmental and going off the track. Thanks to all who posted your comments, some were rude, others were friendly, but seems this forum is not for everyone so I've decided to come off it.

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Im not saying I would ever just turn up without being invited round. Wish I'd never put the post on here now, seems comments are getting too judgmental and going off the track. Thanks to all who posted your comments, some were rude, others were friendly, but seems this forum is not for everyone so I've decided to come off it.
Possibly you need to read your posts again, ask yourself how they sound from another persons point of view, and you may have your answers.

 

You did ask the question.

Edited by newjez
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Why are you asking a bunch of anonymous strangers on a web forum for advice on your marital problems ?

 

Its your husband you should be talking to.

 

This is always a problem for mixed aussie/brit marriages.

 

Same reason some people talk to a counsellor or therapist....someone removed from the situation and ( supposedly) unbiased!

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