SydneySister Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Im pretty set on the fact I want to head out but have a child so makes me feel more like I really want to be sure for him beforehand. The way my degree has fell with exams Il actually get a month off soon and am debating going over for a month with my son (his first time) and get a feel for the place with a child, go to mummy groups, parks, see whats good for kids and how he likes it really? Obviously I know it will be no comparison on how it would feel if out there long term but might give me a better idea of how he will cope; he likes to be busy busy and i think if we find alot of stuff he is into it will make me more determined to go. Only issue is it isn't cheap even for a month so it would be dwindling into the savings I have made so far. Although I guess it wouldnt be wasted if I go out and think okay, its not for him and our family unit. Maybe better sticking to crappy Ireland. I would be saving money then.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 How old is your son? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PommyPaul Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 i reckon a month over with the young'un would be a bloody good idea, you could always do a bit of job stalking as well for if you decide to make the move Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I honestly wouldn't bother - we did a 5 week trip but with hindsight basically ignored what we found because you see what you want to see. A month is just not long enough, most people have a honeymoon period anyway, a holiday is not real life - you wouldn't be working, no school etc. and even if you don't like it that doesn't mean much as some people don't have a honeymoon go straight into culture shock and are loving it two years later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I think an extended visit would be a very good idea. Nothing worse than making the move and then discovering it's not for you. If you can afford it then do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I honestly wouldn't bother - we did a 5 week trip but with hindsight basically ignored what we found because you see what you want to see. A month is just not long enough, most people have a honeymoon period anyway, a holiday is not real life - you wouldn't be working, no school etc. and even if you don't like it that doesn't mean much as some people don't have a honeymoon go straight into culture shock and are loving it two years later. Yes actually that does make a lot of sense, when holidaying as you say you tend to see it as you imagined it or as you want to. Because it wasn't something we ever had to do as I grew up there I try to imagine the best scenario. I just think to move somewhere having never even visited is fraught with danger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SydneySister Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 Hes 3, would be 4 when going. Its all riding on him though, he acts a lot older than what he is though and definately knows what he wants lol. We have been places before and he has point blank told me he doesnt like it even if we are having a ball lol he says he prefers our house. Lol. I wouldn't be going out and just relaxing the whole time I would be doing a hell of a lot of research into areas, and meeting potential job areas and asking questions etc. I just don't know if it would be worthwhile with how much it is. Lady Rainicorn made a great point; because Im going out with the mindset that its what is best for us il probably see it as just that until I go there long term and all the sh!t hits the fan lol x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Hes 3, would be 4 when going. Its all riding on him though, he acts a lot older than what he is though and definately knows what he wants lol. We have been places before and he has point blank told me he doesnt like it even if we are having a ball lol he says he prefers our house. Lol. I wouldn't be going out and just relaxing the whole time I would be doing a hell of a lot of research into areas, and meeting potential job areas and asking questions etc. I just don't know if it would be worthwhile with how much it is. Lady Rainicorn made a great point; because Im going out with the mindset that its what is best for us il probably see it as just that until I go there long term and all the sh!t hits the fan lol x I am still a firm believer in holiday first but yes it is true when you are on holiday you have a different mindset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 He's a child and an infant at that so it shouldn't ride on him, it should ride on the adults in the scenario not matter how old he acts. If you're that unsure maybe it would be worth it though. For us Google and the Internet were enough even with a 16 year old and a 9 year old. You're his parent you will know what's best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SydneySister Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 I never trust reviews of places; have had as much of an adventure of the areas as possible via google and maps but its just not the same is it. Thankyous for your views; alot to mull over. Flights on the dates are £708 return which is reasonable!! So il have to have a few sleeps on it, maybe not too many though before the tickets are all gone!! I know very little about the childrens side of things as I havent had that outlook on it before until I had him, before that it was the beach and socialising scene I was more worried about lol xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I never trust reviews of places; have had as much of an adventure of the areas as possible via google and maps but its just not the same is it. Thankyous for your views; alot to mull over. Flights on the dates are £708 return which is reasonable!! So il have to have a few sleeps on it, maybe not too many though before the tickets are all gone!! I know very little about the childrens side of things as I havent had that outlook on it before until I had him, before that it was the beach and socialising scene I was more worried about lol xx Do what feels right for you, but even if he throws the old I hate it here, use your own judgement kids are fickle. My 16 year old told me I'd ruined her life, 5 years along she says it's the best thing we made her do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Do what feels right for you, but even if he throws the old I hate it here, use your own judgement kids are fickle. My 16 year old told me I'd ruined her life, 5 years along she says it's the best thing we made her do. My daughter was 10 when she heard us discussing it - burst into tears and said we were making her leave her whole life behind .... she tells us she is so glad to have had her teenage years here in Aus, My son had been here a year when he asked if we were still on holiday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I certainly agree that a child of that age cannot be included in the decision making process. When we moved the opposite direction our kids were included as they were almost teenagers and the move was going to impact them directly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 As a mum to three children I would suggest saving as much money as possible to make the move over and also to complete adequate research (mara agent) to ensure you can get a visa before you consider a holiday. If money is no object then have a holiday but otherwise part of the adventure is being somewhere new. You don't say if you are a single mother or not but consider areas with a good support network. Sydney is very expensive and is supposedly a very different lifestyle for families than it is for single individuals. Have you sought permission from the father of your son as this can also have a huge significance into whether you can legally make the move. If you are prepared to hold back the move and just want a holiday first, then by all means go over but go over with a clear mind knowing whether it is a realistic option or not. The worst thing for prospective migrants is to get their hopes up and find they cannot go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 As a mum to three children I would suggest saving as much money as possible to make the move over and also to complete adequate research (mara agent) to ensure you can get a visa before you consider a holiday. If money is no object then have a holiday but otherwise part of the adventure is being somewhere new. You don't say if you are a single mother or not but consider areas with a good support network. Sydney is very expensive and is supposedly a very different lifestyle for families than it is for single individuals. Have you sought permission from the father of your son as this can also have a huge significance into whether you can legally make the move. If you are prepared to hold back the move and just want a holiday first, then by all means go over but go over with a clear mind knowing whether it is a realistic option or not. The worst thing for prospective migrants is to get their hopes up and find they cannot go. Good advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Have you sorted out the visa yet or are you a citizen? I wouldn't do anything before that. Regarding a visit, I think they are a "nice to have" rather than an essential. If money is no object then yes by all means, but if you would be using up moving funds then no I wouldnt bother, it won't provide any great insight anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SydneySister Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 I am a single parent, and have permission from the father. He doesnt see my son much. Would probably see him more if he was making an effort to go abroad and see him for a block of a month or so at a time. Only issue is him changing his mindbetween now and applying for visa etc but getting it in writing with a solicitor asap before he changes his tune and then try not to bring it up again until Im ready to rock so it doesnt mull over on his mind too much! I cant apply for a visa yet as I am still doing my degree; although have spoke with AHPRA and ANMAC and bureau about visas and each are confident I can get a permanent visa and there are job opportunities once I finish my degree and work for a minimum of 6 months - a year (preferably a year but they said to reapproach it with them once I have started employment). Money is definitely an object at the minute but am saving as much as I can. My rent is super cheap and if I go for a holiday it will use up a chunk of the savings I have so far but I see alot of benefit in going. Once I start work I will be making ALOT more than I am getting in my sorry excuse for a bursary at present and feel I will be able to save alot quite quickly considering how much I have saved with my rubbish income at present. I also have another year of my course and perhaps another 6 months - 1 year of work following that to save following this possible holiday so more opportunity for saving then. So not quite sure what to be doing xx Thanks for some great advice everybody! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Tilley Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 If you are going to go for a visit, I'd be going to see whether you like it and can hack it there as a single parent, rather than seeing if your son likes it. For him, home will be wherever YOU are, not the country he is in. I lived in South Australia for two years as a single parent and it was damned hard. Working for me was not an option because the childcare fees would have cost more than any job I could have applied for (so check if the visa you have would give you any entitlement to concessions as I was on a visa that meant I got none at all.) When I was ill I had no one to help me out, when my son was ill I had no one to call on to help me out. All the family and friends and the help they gave me was taken for granted. Once in Oz, there was no one to pop over for an hour whilst I went to the dentist, or the doctor, or the hairdresser, or the supermarket - he had to come everywhere, and got bored by it. I suppose it depends on what sort of mum you are, but I'm not one that coped very well with a 24/7 child and no escape even to go and do food shopping, let alone find a bit of a social life outside of mother and toddler groups! If you are single parenting entirely by yourself now then you may be okay with it there, but if you do have some family and friends that help you out and you have a bit of a social life outside of being a mum where you are then you won't realise how much that means until you've actually lost it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I am a single parent, and have permission from the father. He doesnt see my son much. Would probably see him more if he was making an effort to go abroad and see him for a block of a month or so at a time. Only issue is him changing his mindbetween now and applying for visa etc but getting it in writing with a solicitor asap before he changes his tune and then try not to bring it up again until Im ready to rock so it doesnt mull over on his mind too much! I cant apply for a visa yet as I am still doing my degree; although have spoke with AHPRA and ANMAC and bureau about visas and each are confident I can get a permanent visa and there are job opportunities once I finish my degree and work for a minimum of 6 months - a year (preferably a year but they said to reapproach it with them once I have started employment). Money is definitely an object at the minute but am saving as much as I can. My rent is super cheap and if I go for a holiday it will use up a chunk of the savings I have so far but I see alot of benefit in going. Once I start work I will be making ALOT more than I am getting in my sorry excuse for a bursary at present and feel I will be able to save alot quite quickly considering how much I have saved with my rubbish income at present. I also have another year of my course and perhaps another 6 months - 1 year of work following that to save following this possible holiday so more opportunity for saving then. So not quite sure what to be doing xx Thanks for some great advice everybody! As 10 month qualified nurse I know what you are going through. My only advice in this is 12 months is more realistic. There are opportunities for jobs with less than 12 months experience but they are rare and if you are being specific with your working hours through being a single parent you may find this even harder. I couldn't get a job with less than 12 months however I know one girl who I qualified with who fell on her feet with a job this week and has 10 months experience in SA. Also I presume with a little one in tow you would be considering the permanent visa. Be absolutely clear on costs. Even getting solicitor advice and getting documents signed for my children's permission cost me £700. I paid for my ex's fees too to show my support. Add up registration fee's, postage fee's, getting things certified, anmac fee's, visa fee's, travel to airports, flights, accommodation on arrival, spends, furniture etc. It is shocking how it adds up and how much money you will need for just the bare minimums. As a single parent my guess would be in the region of £8-£10k. That would only accommodate you first around 2 months, after that you would need extra funds. I had a job on arrival so I am happy with just 2 months worth of money to survive until my salary comes in. This is why I wanted you to be absolutely clear if you are happy with the £2k or so that your holiday is going to cost you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SydneySister Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 Im afraid the only help really I have at the minute is my childminder lol. I am there 24/7 at present and when I am not working Im with him, he goes to anywhere I have to go at the minute with me. And I have been out with friends socialising 4 times in the last 4 years since I fell pregnant lol. I have family here who I go to visit but not for help as such, I know I would miss them like hell though but Its one of the fewer negatives xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SydneySister Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 Totally understand, thanks for your help! Yea its looked like it would cost around £1400 for the flights alone then spending money on top and dropping money to my aunt for accomodation just out of courtesy. But if I manage to stay for the full year I could save a good chunk I reckon, and more between then and starting a job. Il be honest I only have about 2500 saved, but thats not including money I set aside in my sons savings, which has been more than that. But its locked in his account until hes at least 18 so I cant even borrow some, lol Oh well; he'l thank me for it xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Since you are renting I wouldn't go for a month, I'd go for a year or maybe two - your son is so young it'll make no difference to his education. My son was 4 when we started planning the move and he was adamant he didn't want to go - the visit made no difference to his feelings and we thought 'what does a 5 year old know' and whilst I do think that is right he was never ever truly happy - and before anyone says he picked it up from us we had 9 months of delicious honeymoon period and were not really unhappy ever - in fact his obsession with 'home' was part of our decision to return - for us we didn't hate it, it just wasn't better and he was clear he'd be leaving as soon as he could! So yes the adults make the decisions but don't underestimate how young children can feel - I have seen plenty of posts on here from adults, some middle-aged taken to Australia as young children who have never settled and yearn to return to the UK. I didn't want to consign my son to that life despite knowing he barely remembered Scotland. Of course he now misses Australia!! But he misses certain things and friends rather than being obsessed with it & if he did choose to go back that's fine - we have enriched his life by getting him citizenship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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