pinknurse83 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Hey! Moving with my husband to brisbane in 12 weeks. Everything is in place and I have a job interview etc. Been so excited but now its getting closer im dreading it! ! I keep wondering why im putting myself through this!! Has anyone else felt like this? Im just hoping its nerves and it doesn't help that my nan has recently been diagnosed with cancer and its possible I wont see her again after we leave, and due to visa expiry unable to delay the move! other people's experiences may help! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tina0101 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I think most people have a 'omg what have I done' moment before they leave!! We certainly did :-) Do you know people out here? Where are you looking to move to? We came out knowing nobody and have met lots of people through PIO and Facebook groups. We have older relatives and saying goodbye was very hard, but they are all supportive of our move and would hate it if we hadn't gone because of them. Enjoy the next 12 weeks; it'll fly by and you'll be here before you know it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I think it's perfectly natural to have these thoughts especially when faced with your grans illness. I remember it being a very bitter sweet time for us, sadness at leaving friends and family yet excitement about the adventure ahead. I remember sitting on the plane ready for take off and thinking "OMG - this is really it". Good luck with the interview xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinkla Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 It is normal to have an increasing sense of dread. Emigration is a huge step and once you have done it, your life will never be the same again - even if you eventually come back. You will get through it, though. You should also expect some wobbles in your forst few months (years?) in Australia. I am sorry to hear about your nan. I wish her the best. But - and I know this sounds callous - part of the deal with emigration is that you will move away from friends and family; in some cases you will not see them again. Emigration is a selfish thing to do, and it can only really be successful if you are prepared to put your own eneds ahead of others. This doesn't mean you don't love your friends and family, but it does mean that you are doing your own thing. You might be able to keep in touch through social media or skype; you might visit; they might visit you. But, over time, your old relationships are likely to become less intense as you build new ones in your new country. You will hear news from back home - sometimes good news and sometimes bad news - and wish you could come running, but you can't. It comes with the territory. Emigration has down sides as well as ups. For many people, especially with time, the ups far outweigh the downs. But you do need to be aware that there are down sides and find realistic ways to reconcile yourself to them. I hope you do get through the next 12 weeks peacefully. It is a stressful, unsettling time. You are in limbo and you will have many goodbyes to say. And I hope your new life will grow quickly and smoothly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinknurse83 Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 Thank you soooo much for these replies thete really reassuring! I like to think me and my husband are pretty open minded and realistic about the negatives of migration and the things like missing family etc but all of a sudden I had a feeling of dread and panic!! Its great to have this forum and see others feel or have felt these emotions! So thank you! All our family have been so supportive so thats good. Your right also it is a selfish thing in away, but we both had always wanted to do it then one day ee thought if we dont just make the move we will be sitting here in 20-30 years and think, why didn't we try it!!! And I dont want regrets. Now thinkong about it you hsve to be selfish in life at times to be happy and live your dreama? do you guys agree?? Thank you for responding its made me feel much better and seeing it in perspective again x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinkla Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Now thinkong about it you hsve to be selfish in life at times to be happy and live your dreama? do you guys agree?? I agree - but as an emigrant, I would agree. I think it is important to recognise that emigrating is selfish, but it is still OK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanduex Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Which bit are you moving to? You may find people on here in the same area. Nerves are normal. Focus on your last 12 weeks as it will be a while before you are back there. Top up while you can. :-) It is bound to be tough at times but so far I love it here. Half of tr move. Early days but a promising start :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinknurse83 Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 Which bit are you moving to? You may find people on here in the same area. Nerves are normal. Focus on your last 12 weeks as it will be a while before you are back there. Top up while you can. :-) It is bound to be tough at times but so far I love it here. Half of tr move. Early days but a promising start :-) Hey were moving to queensland north brisbane were going to look at suburbs when we get there and also depends grwatly on work and where we can get it but we are flexible really!! Glad to hear your enjoying it! Where are you at present? Its good to hear how other people are finding the migration etc! X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinknurse83 Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 I agree - but as an emigrant, I would agree. I think it is important to recognise that emigrating is selfish, but it is still OK. Quinkla how long have you been in Australia and which part? Are you glad you did it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinknurse83 Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 I think most people have a 'omg what have I done' moment before they leave!! We certainly did :-) Do you know people out here? Where are you looking to move to? We came out knowing nobody and have met lots of people through PIO and Facebook groups. We have older relatives and saying goodbye was very hard, but they are all supportive of our move and would hate it if we hadn't gone because of them. Enjoy the next 12 weeks; it'll fly by and you'll be here before you know it!! Hey tina0101 thanks for your reassurance! Its good to hear from people in the same boat we are very similar to yourself. Were heading to brisbane staying in the sunshine coast while we find work and a long term rental maybe nearer brisbane just depends on work and I have an interview set over the phone early jan for a community nurse job in brisbane which is exciting! How long have you been in Australia? And which part? Oh yes and we do have an uncle and cousins in Sydney and queensland (bundaberg) and some old acquaintances in gold coast plus an auntie and cousins in Melbourne aswell as nursing colleagues who have moved so were lucky in that way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tina0101 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Hey tina0101 thanks for your reassurance! Its good to hear from people in the same boat we are very similar to yourself. Were heading to brisbane staying in the sunshine coast while we find work and a long term rental maybe nearer brisbane just depends on work and I have an interview set over the phone early jan for a community nurse job in brisbane which is exciting! How long have you been in Australia? And which part? Oh yes and we do have an uncle and cousins in Sydney and queensland (bundaberg) and some old acquaintances in gold coast plus an auntie and cousins in Melbourne aswell as nursing colleagues who have moved so were lucky in that way! Vanduex and I are in the Bayside area with our 17 year old son. We arrived at the end of August with a job interview lined up for him and a couple of school visits booked in for our son. Luckily he got the job and then, within a week of arriving, we had found a rental property too!! It took me a couple of months to get a job, but I wasn't really trying as we could survive for a bit on the one salary. I actually had a couple of offers and settled on one just near Woolongabba - been there a month now!! just bought our first house and hoping to move in in about a month!! Youre re lucky to have some people here - I would also recommend joining Facebook groups (if you do Facebook) as there are quite a few that arrange meet-ups and things. We've met some great people by just popping along to BBQs on the beach and drinks in the pub. Good of luck with it all!!! Brisbane is fab :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinkla Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Quinkla how long have you been in Australia and which part? Are you glad you did it? I'm in Melbourne. I moved to marry my Australian wife. I am glad I did it, but I do miss Edinburgh where I lived before I moved. You never stop missing the things you left, but you find new things that start to become more salient than the things you left. I found the first three months were amazing and the next couple of years were very hard - exacerbated by work troubles. Australia is not just Britain with better weather, it has very different cultural and social values. People behave differently and don't do what you might expect. You have to adapt quickly. And trying to replicate your lifestyle in Britain is a very expensive thing to do; you do better to try to fit in with Australian lifestyles. It is a great adventure and most people who manage to get through the two year mark seem to be pleased to have done it - there are exceptions (@Quoll) - and some people leave after a few weeks or months having decided it is not for them. I have no idea whether they would have adjusted with time or whether they were just being realistic. I should also say that having a family here that I was marrying into helped enormously, but does also mean I am not one of the people who always had a burning desire to live in Australia. I just got here by accident. At no point in the process did I ever imagine it would actually happen until about 3 weeks before I left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I'm in Melbourne. I moved to marry my Australian wife. I am glad I did it, but I do miss Edinburgh where I lived before I moved. You never stop missing the things you left, but you find new things that start to become more salient than the things you left. I found the first three months were amazing and the next couple of years were very hard - exacerbated by work troubles. Australia is not just Britain with better weather, it has very different cultural and social values. People behave differently and don't do what you might expect. You have to adapt quickly. And trying to replicate your lifestyle in Britain is a very expensive thing to do; you do better to try to fit in with Australian lifestyles. It is a great adventure and most people who manage to get through the two year mark seem to be pleased to have done it - there are exceptions (@Quoll) - and some people leave after a few weeks or months having decided it is not for them. I have no idea whether they would have adjusted with time or whether they were just being realistic. I should also say that having a family here that I was marrying into helped enormously, but does also mean I am not one of the people who always had a burning desire to live in Australia. I just got here by accident. At no point in the process did I ever imagine it would actually happen until about 3 weeks before I left. Great post. I would challenge your view though that it's expensive to replicate a British lifestyle over here, particularly in Melbourne. Of course it depends upon the kind of lifestyle you enjoyed back home, but I've found that by streaming the best of British telly, having access to to the online editions of the UK newspapers, and finding a decent pub like 'The Sherlock Holmes' in Collins Street, that you can do much of what you did before. True, Melbourne ain't cheap for a night out ($11.00 a pint average), but if you like a decent curry at the end of a sesh,, then Gaylords in Chinatown (they've heard all the jokes before, believe me!) do a great curry at a price that doesn't break the bank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scrutineer Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Great post. I would challenge your view though that it's expensive to replicate a British lifestyle over here. You can create a British bubble here easily I think. British TV via the internet, British music via the internet, Skype with family via the internet, British food from most supermarkets. I haven't found it expensive to do any of that, but without the internet it would be impossibly expensive - as you discover when you try to buy a book or DVD from an Australian retailer. If you were trying to build your British Bubble without the internet it would be prohibitively expensive, I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakaal Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Make sure you feel on your heart you are doin the right thing. We have found it so tough and wish we could jus press a button and never have started this whole process. 2nd time here now and we feel in limbo don't feel Oz is for us long term but kinda stuck here now as finances dwindled and situation at he will be a lot worse before we left. We had a much better life before in everyway and my two friends who have been here two years now are heading home next month - the lucky things. i am yet to meet someone who has happily settled but maybe I just haven't met the right people. I wish I had listened to my own doubts would have saved about 60,000 euro and my children a lot of upset Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tina0101 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 On the other side to Lakaal, I have met lots who love it here and have been here ages and would not go back. It's not for everyone, but it's good to get a balanced view from someone like Lakaal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakaal Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 I can see why they love it. It is a gorgeous place. We live in an amazing place have a gorgeous dream house with a pool both have permanent jobs. Five mins walk to the beach. Everything we could ever dream of Oz it is. But it is not enough for us. I could kick myself over and over again but it's just not for us. Family is all we want and nothing can make up for that. We have friends but not the same. We now live in the dream place but what has it taught us, we were happy in our little terraced house surrounded by family and friends that we have known for years . Kids could play out from morning till night, here I spend my day dragging them to playgrounds, play dates. we had that mantra better to go than to regret it for years but now we regret ever going so either way you can end up with regret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tina0101 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Lakaal, that is so honest and straight up. I hope you don't have too many regrets - life is to short to dwell and I wish you all the luck in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinknurse83 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 Yes im sure its nit for everyone and for you lakaal see it as a positive! Now at least you know whats important to you as moving has obviously given you perspective on your life of whats important. I hope the rest of your time in Australia and make it back to the uk safely if thats what you want. I on the other hand do have the jitters as my nan is in the last few months of her life and she was like a mum to me however I know if shes still here before we leave the uk she understands its something we have been planning for years. As has been said before in this thread theres never ever a perfect time to emigrate is there! But in 2-10 years time we may want to move back to the uk but at least we tried it and we have no children yet so thats a plus. And imnot lucky enough to have alot of close family except my innlaws who are retiring so they can spend a couple of months a year with us so in that way im not too concerned about missing family. Iv always been a lone wolf ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Nothing has to be forever. We came 8 years ago, initially for 2 years but ended up getting citizenship. You will get homesick but think of it as an adventure. I was terrified before we came despite having a job lined up. We will be heading back in 2016 despite doing well here and loving the flora and fauna. I miss community, friends, family and a sense of belonging. I also never want to rent a property in my life again! I think for those that can buy a property here and establish a circle of friends it can be a very good life indeed. You won't know until you've given it a go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I can see why they love it. It is a gorgeous place. We live in an amazing place have a gorgeous dream house with a pool both have permanent jobs. Five mins walk to the beach. Everything we could ever dream of Oz it is. But it is not enough for us. I could kick myself over and over again but it's just not for us. Family is all we want and nothing can make up for that. We have friends but not the same. We now live in the dream place but what has it taught us, we were happy in our little terraced house surrounded by family and friends that we have known for years . Kids could play out from morning till night, here I spend my day dragging them to playgrounds, play dates. we had that mantra better to go than to regret it for years but now we regret ever going so either way you can end up with regret.[/quote What a great honest post. Can absolutely empathise! So many people look at how life is here and ask 'Why on earth would you want to return to the UK?' Here is a great answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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