Lakaal

We Moved twice and settled better the second time - although the isolation still an issue for me. I have really had to move out of my comfort zone to put myself out there. Eldest daughter would still love to move back to Ireland.

Thanks Nicf

i didn't know once i posted i wouldn't have an option to delete which is a bit unfair .......... ah well noted for future.

CalNgary, I changed my mind after posting and couldn't find how to delete the post. Thank you for your lovely reply but i shouldn't have posted. Not really emotionally up for the replies i am expecting i might get so would rather have it deleted thanks. haha you can see why i am a ping pong - indecisiveness

yes a ping pong ..... and probably always will be unfortunately - then again the best of both worlds i guess.

I can see why they love it. It is a gorgeous place. We live in an amazing place have a gorgeous dream house with a pool both have permanent jobs. Five mins walk to the beach. Everything we could ever dream of Oz it is. But it is not enough for us. I could kick myself over and over again but it's just not for us. Family is all we want and nothing can make up for that. We have friends but not the same. We now live in the dream place but what has it taught us, we were happy in our little terraced house surrounded by family and friends that we have known for years . Kids could play out from morning till night, here I spend my day dragging them to playgrounds, play dates. we had that mantra better to go than to regret it for years but now we regret ever going so either way you can end up with regret.

Make sure you feel on your heart you are doin the right thing. We have found it so tough and wish we could jus press a button and never have started this whole process. 2nd time here now and we feel in limbo don't feel Oz is for us long term but kinda stuck here now as finances dwindled and situation at he will be a lot worse before we left. We had a much better life before in everyway and my two friends who have been here two years now are heading home next month - the lucky things. i am yet to meet someone who has happily settled but maybe I just haven't met the right people. I wish I had listened to my own doubts would have saved about 60,000 euro and my children a lot of upset

Being a ping ping myself I fully understand where you are coming from. We knew instantly when returning home we had made a mistake and withing 6 months returned to oz and are happier than ever - no regrets. Second time around much easier.

Hi Kellie123 have loved reading your updates. We are ping ponging to Sunshine Coast on Tuesday after we returned to ireland this year from Melbourne. Have 3 kids 8,4 and 2. We have a short term rental for 3 weeks on arrival at Alexander headlands but pacific pines is on our list of potential long term places. Is it nice area? Do you see kids playing out at all after school?

Ah thank you all for your kind replies fingers crossed I will be posting a very positive 6 months in post

Update we fly out in 3 weeks getting excited now. We are heading to Sunshine Coast this time to try something new. Feel a lot braver this time and family are being very supportive now. My mam and dad have even said they will fly over for the month of January 2016! Which is a great improvement for them. We have just got one way flights this time, have some friends nearby and looking forward to it. I know I will be homesick but hope in time this will get better.

Sounds great Vandeux - good luck settling in hope all goes well - you seem to have a really great positive attitude which can hopefully only lead to good things

Wow thanks for the info guys. Good to know you are all surviving the early mornings hoping we too could make the adjustment. Ah so nerve wrecking trying to pick a state but qld climate and lifestyle does seem great. Melbourne we loved but a lot of what we loved we feel due to weather could only be done a few months of the year there whereas in qld could be done most of the year.

Thanks boganbear. I guess it would be a big adjustment - I am not the best morning person. My friend who lives there said she gets up at 5 and kids go to bed at 6.30/7. Which would be a complete change for us

Hi all, hoping for some advice. We are due to move to melbourne in 5 weeks but are considering a quick change to Sunshine Coast area. We are not limited by visa and husband is self employed wedding photographer. We did spend 4 months in melbourne this year and loved it but the weather was getting pretty cold by the time we left. We have friends in both places who both say there state is the best. One of the main concerns I have re Sunshine Coast is the early sunset every evening year round. Do people find this hard to adjust to. I have 3 children all under 8. Thanks for any info.

I guess like tina0101 I felt the goodbyes would be hard but we would get through it. I was not prepared for my 70 year old mother to be in tears and stressed so much the week we were leaving she had to be taken to the emergency room as she made herself so ill with anxiety . Knowing we were responsible for that was very traumatic. I knew it would be hard but god the guilt is something I didn't know would be as bad. I guess my point was that in my case anyway it's very different saying you are going and goodbyes will be hard but be prepared the goodbyes are very very hard.

I think most of us go over committing to two years to settle but that's all very well but not easy when u get there - 2 yrs to a very homesick person feels like a lifetime. The goodbyes are beyond traumatic and yes in an ideal world we would all stick to our commitment of 2 years. But about to become a ping pong after staying in oz only 3 months convinced like you would give it 2 years. Life happens - nice to have commitments in your mind but u wot know how you feel About that commitment till you get there. Kinda like committing to eating the same dinner for 2 years when you have seen pictures of the dinner and researched it but have no idea what it tastes like.

Coming into June now and our feelings have not changed at all. My husband is still completely miserable and can't see a future here. I feel it wad a huge mistake to have cone back and moved children back. We have worked out a financial plan and have decided to go back to Melbourne the beginning of September this year. We really feel it is the right move for our family. Have not told the family yet will give it a few more weeks. Fingers crossed will go better this time although I really do think we have learned alot of lessons over the last few months that hopefully will benefit us on our return. We have made a pact that we will aim for 4 years to get citizenship and see where we stand then. I feel horribly selfish but really hope my parents can see it is what's best for us at this time. Thankyou all for the replies , advice, encouragement and understanding.

Thanks everyone for the support and advice. Yes a pact would have been a good idea and we will def do this if returning. My poor husband I think this time was just at a loss seeing me so unhappy. he blames himself for not standing up to me and saying no. we had originally committed to giving it 2 years but I Really underestimated how homesick I would feel - but my advice to anyone don't make hasty decisions like me as we are now in an even bigger mess!! Its gas I have in the past read posts on poms in oz and said I will never feel like that or that won't happen to me but I think it has all happened!!! The homesickness then the regret when getting back - I have just managed somehow to squeeze it all into 4 months. Blobby1000 you made me laugh with the parents can be a pain comment cheered me up ribbon Katie hope you figure out what's best for you- the guilt is awful but then the guilt I feel here for my own family is equally awful.

Agree fully jack13 exactly how I feel thanks for that.

Thanks guys - have me in tears here so nice to get some positive feedback. You could say I feel my parents pushed us back - they actually paid for our flights home which pushed evertyhting forward. However I am a 37 yr old woman, married with 3 children and should have stood my ground so can't fully blame them either. We lived in mornington which was stunning, got the perfect house we could only ever have dreamed off. My husband is very philosophical and understands there are good things in both countries and bad in each also. He is 100 percent convinced our future lies in oz and our children will have far better childhood and teenage years in oz. I upon returning now in hindsight agree with him. We have returned to ireland and things although people say have picked up are still quite depressing compared to oz. I feel people are laughing at us here now alot of people are saying ah now see you have come running back, the grass isn't always greener etc. I am not too bothered but feel guilty for putting my own family husband and children in this situation where people are laughing at us in a way. But you are right I think time for a breather let things settle and try to keep husband from jumping on te next plane out. In my mind I think though if home was for us why would we be feeling so depressed about it all from day one of returning we should have been delighted to be back.

Thanks so much for the reply it really helps to get an outsiders perspective. Yes visas are valid until October 2018 which is great but also a curse aswell. I can imagine until oct 2018 our life is going to be so confused as to stay or go. I do feel desperately responsible and also that I cannot be honest with my parents at all. My mam rang this morning asking me are you thinking of going back you wouldn't put us through that again I hope. Truly truly depressing situation wish truly that I never qualified for a visa.

Well 8 years planning To go and off we went to Melbourne at the beginning of jan on a 189 visa. first week we arrived into a Heatwave 48 degrees crazy hot. Stayed with friends for a few weeks then took over there lease. Big mistake as was in an area we couldn't afford to settle so couldn't start 8 ur old in school. First 2 weeks I was traumatised the goodbyes were alot harder than I thought. My parents were inconsolable on Skype and as we were so unsettled I made the mistake of saying wasn't mad about oz. So they were delights thinking we wouldn't stay. Roll on a few weeks found lovely house lovely area. Settled oldest in school but couldn't find childcare youngest 2. So I began to work full time and oh minded kids which is the opposite to what we have done for 8 years, but needed the money. Left house 6.30 in morning and home at 7 in the evening. I became desperately homesick. It consumed my whole days. I would cry alot desperately missed home. I could see no way out and books flights home to the dismay of my husband and kids who loved oz. it was purely selfish but I was really really consumed with homesickness. We had some great times in melbourne but it was all shadowed by my desire to return home. So we all arrived home 2 weeks ago to the delight of my family and friends. My husband has said he now wants to go asleep and never wake up he is so depressed. My eldest daughter cries for her australian friends as school and my son just constantly is looking for playgrounds where we live now there are none. I wake every morning thinking oh my god what have I done , biggest mistake of my life. If I could fly back tomorrow I would. I miss the adventure of it all together, the good times we had, the opportunities, tge promise of a future. We now have no jobs potentially for a few more weeks, no money and worst of all we feel no future. My husband wants to go back as soon as we get money for flights, I would too if not for breaking my poor parent hearts again. We are still paying rent on our place in oz as hasn't rented yet and we are still in lease, plus paying rent here and a mortgage I am sure we have broken a record for not only shortest immigration ever but bigger mistake makers ever. I hope someone can learn a lesson from this as it is the worse situation ever. Will never be happy here again after seeing whats over there and will never be able to break my families heart agin by going again.

Have no words of wisdom but just wanted to say am going through the same as you at the moment. We leave in January and my poor parents are heartbroken. I feel awful. Had a dream last night my dad was dying in hospital and I had to talk to him over the phone instead of holding his hand I don't know if I am going to be able to live with the guilt and the daily requests from my mam not to go. I am just going along in a daze really waiting for the days to go by cannot even imagine the day I leave having to say goodbye some days I wake up all positive saying its my life I need to live it etc other days I am in blind panic thinking what the hell am I doing. Good luck to you hope things work out.

Haha sorry spellcheck not fear email from them! Get email from them