IT angel Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 Hey all I have posted on here a few times looking for clarity. I have been living in the UK for the past 4 years but previously Melbourne for 4 years before that. Recently in the past 6 months things came to a head with my OH (who is aussie) and we broke up. We just couldn't agree on where we wanted to live - me desperate to get out of the UK and back to Melbourne, while he was loving everything the UK had to offer. Weirdly when we broke up I considered staying in the UK as I wasn't sure what Oz had to offer me without him - but now I've had a few months to consider it, I really want to go and live my dream and not have to compromise for someone else. I hope this doesn't make me selfish - and I wonder if my ex OH had been a different person I would have been content with the UK? I guess I'll never know. I'm waiting to rent out my flat here, tie up some loose ends and hopefully be out there late January 2015, slightly cr*pping myself about doing it alone but I guess life is all about adventures really. Not sure why I'm posting this, but would be up for meeting some fellow poms in Melbourne when I finally make the move :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 Thank goodness you broke up before children were involved, I don't think you are being selfish, you are being honest and if he was 'the one' then you would have stayed in the UK to be with him. Good luck in your adventures, it's normal to be nervous but my favourite saying is 'better to be scared to death than bored to death'….it does get me in a lot of bother but hey! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindor Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 Good for you! Not selfish at all, and no reason why you shouldn't go! Good luck to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 If he wasn't the one then it's your life. If he was the one and as you hurtle towards old age without him or anyone else then you'll know it was a bum decision. Good luck! Hope it all works out well. my Aussie raised son would say the same as your ex! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Good for you IT- don't worry about the ex- it wouldn't have worked longterm if you broke up over that. Bet you will meet someone else pretty soon anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Sounds like you are doing the right thing for YOU. And since you're not married and don't have kids that's the only person you really have to consider. Have fun in Melbourne! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 If he wasn't the one then it's your life. If he was the one and as you hurtle towards old age without him or anyone else then you'll know it was a bum decision. Good luck! Hope it all works out well. my Aussie raised son would say the same as your ex! Are you saying she will never have another relationship ? Seems a strange thing to assume. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Are you saying she will never have another relationship ?Seems a strange thing to assume. Are you surprised?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 No not really. It is a recurring theme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IT angel Posted November 3, 2014 Author Share Posted November 3, 2014 Are you saying she will never have another relationship ?Seems a strange thing to assume. Thanks Parley Cross (and others) I hope I will - I'm only in my thirties!?! Anyway I think the whole inter-continental relationship element and wanting different things added to our breakup but it wasn't the only reason - if it's meant be, it's meant to be right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Are you saying she will never have another relationship ?Seems a strange thing to assume. Not in the least! It'll either be the right thing to do or it won't! If he's the one and she's chucked it away she will look back with regret is all. Better now than with a swag of kids involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I don't think your selfish at all, if he was the one then I think you would know and you would want to work something out. Best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Have you got a visa already? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IT angel Posted November 3, 2014 Author Share Posted November 3, 2014 Not in the least! It'll either be the right thing to do or it won't! If he's the one and she's chucked it away she will look back with regret is all. Better now than with a swag of kids involved. Your empathy astounds me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IT angel Posted November 3, 2014 Author Share Posted November 3, 2014 Have you got a visa already? Yes thanks Pom Queen - got PR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Your empathy astounds me Ah but I could never fathom choosing a country over a person but there ya go. I've agreed, it's your life to do with as you want, just be sure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainey85 Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Hi IT Angel, Just to reiterate what everyone above has said is you have done the right thing! I have been in a long distance relationship for nearly 2 years now, me being from the UK and my now Fiance from Aus, I am currently living in Aus for a year, and the plan is for him to come back to the UK for a year and us marry at home (UK) it is the only thing I have ever asked him for, is that I marry at home with my family. We do both have that big decision to make as to where we are going to settle, but neither of us care where we go as long as we are together and what place we think together will be best to bring up a family one day! me and my partner have known each other over 7 years and decided to give the long distance thing a try..... It's my strongest and best relationship I have ever had!!! He wasn't for you, trust me we have all had a few of them....... It will happen when u least expect it, and hopefully when you come over here it will be seen as a fresh start, new place, new people, new lifestyle....... You will build in confidence! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest littlesarah Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Thanks Parley Cross (and others) I hope I will - I'm only in my thirties!?! Anyway I think the whole inter-continental relationship element and wanting different things added to our breakup but it wasn't the only reason - if it's meant be, it's meant to be right. I really don't believe in the whole 'the one' thing - it's all about the person, the time and how well you get along. To me, it seems logical that there are numerous people with whom each of us could have a successful relationship, but it's about the one we meet and settle down with (at which point, most of us stop considering anyone else as a possible mate)! If it didn't work out, it didn't work out. There's no way to compromise when it comes to living in UK vs. Aus so it's better to be apart than trying to make something work when a fundamental difference can't be resolved (IMHO). Hope you have a fab time in Melbourne! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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