move back for parents? ??

[xlornax]

Good advice marisawright..should prob try stay for citizenship and would make things easier if I did need to go back and forward.

[Marisawright]

Good advice marisawright..should prob try stay for citizenship and would make things easier if I did need to go back and forward.

 

I'd strongly recommend it. It gives you a reason to stay in Oz without feeling you've abandoned them. As others have pointed out, if you're just a PR then you're only allowed to leave the country for a limited time - stay away too long and you lose PR status forever. I know a couple of people who really wanted to come back to Oz but can't, for that reason.

[thinker78]

I'd strongly recommend it. It gives you a reason to stay in Oz without feeling you've abandoned them. As others have pointed out, if you're just a PR then you're only allowed to leave the country for a limited time - stay away too long and you lose PR status forever. I know a couple of people who really wanted to come back to Oz but can't, for that reason.

 

I'm in a sort of similar mental space: my parents have hit their mid 60s with no real ability to move to Oz ; i always thought they would but they have a very comfortable life in the UK and my sibling. They have never asked me to move back but my mother has suffered considerably since my departure and my dad who has been the greatest supporter of my move to oz was positively joyous when i said we may move back to england.

i also have their only grandchild which is a massive factor.

 

i don't think you can live your life for your parents and no truly selfless parent would want you to, but only you know if you can make a life with them ageing so far away. i can tell you from experience that it's often painful....it can always feel like something is missing and the guilt can be horrendous as can feeling torn. just something to bear in mind and realise which may end up part of your life here.

 

i agree that citizenship is the best outcome, which we have thankfully, and see how you go for the next few years......

 

there is no easy option. only you know how you feel about your parents. i've decide to go back to spend time with them before they are too old to gad about with me. i just want to be do normal things like have sunday dinners, have them pick my child up from school, and maybe take in a couple of holidays with them. nothing major, just things i have not been able to do for the last decade.

 

if the UK drives me totally nuts (which is will) i have to remind myself why i returned and i'll buy a little flat in spain or something- for me, beautiful places here have been tainted quite often by feeling incomplete.

 

good luck- live for today and hopefully they remain well for many years to come.

[Paul1Perth]

Thanks for that ..

I dont miss them or anything in the uk so I would have no reason just to visit or keep regular contact but if they were ill or alone I couldnt just leave them to it...I have two older brothers in the uk but we dnt speak and I dnt know how good they would be at stepping up and taking care of our parents..they still borrow money and get their washing done!

Its not home sickness or missing family or anything.

 

Thanks also snifter..that helps, I wish I could be so certain in my decisions.

 

Sounds like your brothers need to grow up and help out with the folks. Me and the wife wouldn't give up what we have here just in case the parents got ill or died. It's going to happen whether we are there or not. We are lucky enough to have other family there that are helping out with my folks (90 & 92) and my wifes (in their 80's). My wife feels a bit more guilty as her Mum has alzheimers but really her Mum went years ago and she hasn't a clue who we were when we visited last year. It's her Dad's life it's ruined and he feels too guilty to put her in a home.

 

In the end it's your call. If you can't live with the guilt and really miss the folks to the point that it's not letting you settle here then I guess the only option is to go back. Our parents have never made us feel guilty for being here and we had a lot of support for coming.