thinker78 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Thanks to those who previously replied to a thread i wrote a few weeks back regarding being homesick. For some reason I am unable to access my account/password so have come back under a different name. since that post- events transpired to make a decision about returning to the UK easier- my family were so far away in the event of a crisis and with no substantial friends nearby, it proved to me that loneliness and suffering is not worth it. Coupled with the fact that our other relatives are also relocating to the UK, leaving us with no one here, we have decided to give life a go there again. We could be crazy, but i've had almost a decade here and i think it's important to distinguish that life changes and you have to adapt to this. I always thought my parents would join me over here, but the cost of a permanent visa and a move late in life is just selfish of me; I want my child to have a relationship with her extended family before it's too late. This is the winning factor- I don't want her to have a stifling relationship with us, with no ability to see grandparents and cousins, whilst she's still growing and in need of these people. I never envisaged sacrificing a life down under for a child, but it seems to be that priorities about family and time frames alter considerably in one's middle age. We've had a great time but not without hardship and sacrifice- the loneliness I have felt at points has certainly been a learning curve. I am blessed in that we all hold both passports and my job is transferable. Very lucky indeed. To the lady who posted about thinking about Adelaide whilst stuck inside with your young daughter; there's no perfect solution but as someone else said on here, would you look back and regret not spending time with your family, or would you be glad you had a bit of extra sun during those years? if you have no real ties to the UK it's a lot easier. But most people aren't robots, and kids bring along a sense of primeval need to belong somewhere. I've enjoyed Australia but still feel like an outsider. I'm shitting myself about the British winters, small roads, chavs, congestion, the insane current Government, the tiny houses- but even these fears are not enough to keep me away from the ones i love. life is short people. if you've given it a good go, enjoyed it' delights' and yet still feel like you need to return home, then do so. We'll be back, even if it's as grey nomads, but in the meantime, I'm going to treasure my parents twilight years, watch my child hang out with those that love her, and make some memories. no experience is wasted and life can be hard everywhere. Good luck to all those grappling with the decision. It feels good to have made one. PS. you can still get sun in europe you know- looking forward to that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest40285 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Good on ya @thinker78, Positive post, well done and good luck with the move, enjoy your family. I miss mine like crazy. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Well don't worry if you get back and are homesick for Australia. It can happen emigrating is a confusing thing mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker78 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 Im prepared for that. We gave the UK a very short go back in 2010; we ended up being forced back to Oz due to the insane recession at the time and the only job hubby could get was down under. during that time we missed many things about Australia, and i certainly think we will again. but you can't be in two places at once! wish you could. people make a place though dont' they. it's a personal thing; some people hate their families, dont' see their siblings, and have no ties. families are all different. i've given this adventure almost a decade so am pretty well placed to know i gave it a go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 If you don't "belong" after 10 years you won't belong after 30 in my experience! Sure, we all have days when things aren't going quite right and compare the bad of the now with the good of the then - it will happen to you too but just take every day as a bright new adventure and cherish the people in your life! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katie22 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 It can be quite liberating making that final decision, I certainly felt as a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Honestly, you've certainly given it a pretty good go staying here for 10 years and if the homesickness and loneliness are still an issue then you need to go back. I've met lots of English here over the past 13 years and the vast majority love it and have no desire to return. Sometimes I envy them that their migration path has worked out well but we are all so different. Some people return due to needing to be near their families and some return because of just emotional and sentimental attachment to their home country. No one is right and no one is wrong. Since I've decided to go back I've had several people question my decision and very occasionally I feel as if I should be a little ashamed of wanting to return - how crazy is that?! My parents lived in Africa for over 15 years and returned to England for the family reasons. My dad was 50, he gave up a very good job and a very nice lifestyle. To support his family he worked on the Dover ferries until he found a better job. It was so hard for them but they did it and they were always glad that they did. When I have doubts about how I'll cope, I just think of them and it all seems right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 So long as you are content- that is the main thing. You will have had some wonderful experiences and nothing can take that away. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker78 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 So long as you are content- that is the main thing. You will have had some wonderful experiences and nothing can take that away. Good luck! I've seen around 60% of Australia; and I've done things here and met some great people and lived in lovely houses, and enjoyed many things it has to offer. But to put it in perspective, when I got my daughter aged 4 to call the UK grandies last week and say we were moving back, my mum burst into tears on the phone....they never said it but it will make their final years so much more fulfilled. Seeing your grandchildren once a year is a real heart breaker. Migration is a highly personal story. I'm just so grateful we have the choice to return as friends of mine are truly stuck due to the current british migration laws re australian partners etc. All I want is a sense of contentment but that has sadly evaded me here. No doubt at all that we are going to have some major re adjustments but human beings are very adaptable- that's why we are such a successful species Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Good luck on your move back, wishing you all the best xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Good luck hope it works our for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KTM1963 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I feel exactly the same. 25 years in Oz in July and have made the decision to go back next year. Lost my father a couple of years ago and was lucky to have been able to go back for 6 months. Want to spend time with my dear mum in her autumn years and like you, I know there will be things that I miss but I feel elated to have made the decision, only recently, but playing on my mind for 4/5 years. Mum still coming out for 6-8 week holiday as planned in November 14 but I will be there for the next UK summer. Rent out my unit and just going for it. I do go back most years and each time it is more difficult to settle back in Australia.. Good luck to you all. I cried when I read your mum's reaction. We will always be their babies no matter how old we are. Told my mum the other night and I could hear the joy in her voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker78 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 I feel exactly the same. 25 years in Oz in July and have made the decision to go back next year. Lost my father a couple of years ago and was lucky to have been able to go back for 6 months. Want to spend time with my dear mum in her autumn years and like you, I know there will be things that I miss but I feel elated to have made the decision, only recently, but playing on my mind for 4/5 years. Mum still coming out for 6-8 week holiday as planned in November 14 but I will be there for the next UK summer. Rent out my unit and just going for it. I do go back most years and each time it is more difficult to settle back in Australia.. Good luck to you all. I cried when I read your mum's reaction. We will always be their babies no matter how old we are. Told my mum the other night and I could hear the joy in her voice. Good luck to you too; you can't regret giving back to them in their twilight years....i think being a migrant allows you to experience a lot of emotions and realisations which many other people may never get- a fast track if you will! I don't expect to fit into people's lives either- i've been gone a fair while, and only a handful have stayed in touch. But going back for family is different- my daughter does deserve a chance to really know them. and to feel their love. it's horrible being so conflicted though- i know when the day comes i will still feel a bit sad, but will remind myself why i made that decision. your mum will be very happy to have you back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BrisbaneBevan Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Well done Thinker78.. from the tone of your posts, you can tell the decision is the right one. Best of luck with the move back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheswick Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Good luck to you too; you can't regret giving back to them in their twilight years....i think being a migrant allows you to experience a lot of emotions and realisations which many other people may never get- a fast track if you will! I don't expect to fit into people's lives either- i've been gone a fair while, and only a handful have stayed in touch. But going back for family is different- my daughter does deserve a chance to really know them. and to feel their love. it's horrible being so conflicted though- i know when the day comes i will still feel a bit sad, but will remind myself why i made that decision. your mum will be very happy to have you back As you wrote earlier its a very personal thing...the way I see it is...think of all the life experience you have gathered whilst living in another part of the world and the people you`ve got to know...now its another chapter...its all a journey really...the time spent with your family/loved ones is priceless...so whatever happens and for how long...all the best,cheers..and Happy st Georges Day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kellie23 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Good luck and all the best. What part of UK are you returning to? We are doing the opposite having just been granted our visas, we are heading to Gold Coast me, hubby and our three children. They are 1,7 and 8. The hardest part is leaving our family and friends of whom we are very close to. We get along with both sides so well and they are a strong support network to us. We are looking at it as a two year adventure to start with and if it works out then great and if we are unhappy/missing family too much then we will return. Is that the right way to think about it? Who knows. I feel incredibly guilty to be taking my children away from their grandparents but at same time if we don't try it we will keep going on about it wishing we had given it a go. So many won't ever have this opportunity. Keep us updated on your return to UK and FYI this winter was extremely mild in terms of temperature I think hubby scraped the van once and that was it. It was a very wet winter but not freezing. Apparently we are In for a great summer too. Again good luck with your return x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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