fourcorners Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Hi All, Right we've been in Kalgoorlie for another 2 1/2 years, and I'm starting my maternity leave next week (bubs is due on April 13th). We did have intentions of moving back to the UK this year and my OH has been applying for jobs there. But so far none have really moved forward and we are now wondering what to do. We could stay put, but my OH is desperately unhappy in his role at the moment. His mines have just been bought by another company who basically are so focused on production and shareholders that they are trying to get around serious safety issues. Anyway he has an interview next week FIFO to Papua New Guinea. The roster is 16 days on 12 days off, which isn't too bad. But in reality this will probably entail us moving somewhere closer like Cairns, so he can really maximise his days off and each swing we can have 12 days of quality family time together. But it's all worrying, I'm about to have my first baby, everything feels like it's going to change, how will I cope 16 days at home with the baby, won't know anyone over there, is it going to be stinking hot etc! Here I have several good friends (I've known them for 10+ years), know the town and weather etc, but I've never been really attached to Kalgoorlie. Basically, the job will mean OH can get some really good experience in a field that one day we may be able to set up business in back in the UK. We could possibly embark on that sooner but working in Oz an extra year would just give us a bit more of a safety net in terms of cash. So is 12-18 months of FIFO from Cairns worth it before heading back? Advantages are seeing more of Australia (and having time to see it), building up a bit more of a cash buffer, getting better experience for our business idea, getting OH out of an unhappy work situation, living near the sea. Disadvantages are upheaval for me and baby, lack of friends/things we know, possible loneliness for me (+ possibility of post-natal depression), and delaying a move back to the UK (disappointing for us but also family back in the UK). OH is considerate, he actually brought up the subject of PND the other day so don't get me wrong he really does care about my mental welfare and knows this would be a stressful move. And on the other side of the coin I would hate to force him to stay in a job which could end up affecting his mental well-being and stress levels. We just feel like there isn't a logical way back to the UK this year as the only way would be to set up this business which we don't quite feel 100% ready for. Ways to mitigate some of the disadvantages would be for him to work 3 or so swings from Kalgoorlie, so we wouldn't move to Queensland until baby is several months old. He has also promised a trip back to the UK this Christmas if we are still living in Oz at that point (this is something he would have to negotiate for with the new job - normally they don't allow people to take leave until after they have served 12 months). In Kalgoorlie we have only ever had one visitor, which was my mum back in 2006 when we lived here before. She is coming out again at the end of this month. Would Queensland be a more attractive destination for visitors I wonder, or would they still find excuses! Are we mad to be considering this with a baby so close? I know so many people advise against making big life decisions whilst pregnant/with newborn. Of course he hasn't had the interview yet, but we know he has a good chance as it's his old company (before his mines were bought), so he knows a couple of the interviewers and knows that they rate him pretty highly. Anyway, think I just had to get that off my chest! It's a bit of a complicated situation I know but I would appreciate any thoughts. Thanks for reading! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 It's tricky - do you know many people with young babies where you are? Just asked because parent and baby groups are everywhere and I'm sure there'll be a few in Cairns. I've only known a couple of families from Cairns and they absolutely loved it. I'd be tempted to make the move to set you up in the longer term.. but it's a tough decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted March 20, 2014 Author Share Posted March 20, 2014 Yes actually one of my good friends is due to give birth at the end of March, we're only 2 weeks apart. She has been here for 9 years now and is very settled, her OH is a local and they have all of his family around. I did let her know about my OH's job interview just so it's not a major surprise for her if we do leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I probably would move but I've always been very much a spur of the moment kinda gal and very self sufficient. We've always tended to take the best opportunity at the time. I believe Cairns is pretty expensive though so it might be worth comparing the financial implications. We very nearly moved back to PNG when my kids were little but unfortunately the job fell through at the last minute. Being a single mum (effectively) isn't going to be easy no matter where you are! PNG will be a real eye opening experience for your DH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 You'll be having the baby in Kalgoorlie yes? Under the circumstances I wouldn't want to be moving so soon after to anywhere else in Oz... You say you have friends nearby, they will be valuable support to you at this time when family are so far. If the PNG job sounds like the best option, perhaps your OH could give it a go - is the travel to Kal viable at all when he is off? ( sorry if this is a stupid question ). Alternatively, if he could set up in Cairns could you consider going when baby is 6 months or so? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Agatha Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 If it were just you and your DH I'd say move up to Cairns for sure. You can visit the GBR, travel down to Brisbane etc. really easily and enjoy a different part of Australia before you leave. Plus you'd have the extra year's cash and experience. My DH was offered a great job when I was pregnant and while not FIFO, it did require him to be away from home for at least 10 days out of every month. We were SO tempted as the money and the career move were fantastic. He decided not to take it as he didn't want to be away from our baby and me. Fast forward three years and although he is on a lower salary I am SO SO glad he didn't take that job. His support has been invaluable with looking after our (now two) children and he says he couldn't have imagined missing out on their lives while away. It is possible another opportunity might come up, either closer to home or in the UK that would suit you better. If you do decide not to do the FIFO role, don't feel like you've missed the "opportunity of a lifetime", there's always something else around the corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted March 21, 2014 Author Share Posted March 21, 2014 Thanks everyone for your replies, it's kind of nice to know some of you don't think we're completely bonkers for even considering a move at this stage. I feel that we are quite resilient and self-sufficient but part of me is thinking will that continue once the baby arrives? My homesickness, whilst it's kind of always there in the background, is quite manageable but I don't know if it will change once we're a family. Neither of us feel that the PNG job is an opportunity of a lifetime, it just happens to be a good career move and a job he is likely to be offered (though nothing guaranteed of course). There may be the option to stay in Kalgoorlie for a few months but his 12 days off would probably become 10 at home by the time he's flown from PNG to Cairns to Perth (possibly stopping at Darwin or Alice Springs on the way) and then on to Kal. So not an easy commute and something he'd probably only want to do a few times. Part of the job offer would cover relocation including 1 months accommodation and car hire, so the transition wouldn't be too difficult (we've had much worse!). My OH has always craved adventure and gets itchy feet pretty quickly. I think he likes the idea of working somewhere a bit more unusual before we settle back in the UK. If we were to consider FIFO jobs based in the UK it would likely be Africa where I think I would worry about his safety more, the rosters wouldn't be as good (6 weeks on 3 weeks off is about the best), but I would be based in the UK with family nearby. Well, we'll see how the interview goes I guess! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helz980 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 hey hun, I flew here with my daughter when she was 6 months old (on my own, hubby already here working) to a town i'd never even heard off let alone been to & yes it has been hard but because i'll talk to anyone (must be my northern roots lol) I started talking to my now best friend in Kmart & she invited me to her mothersgroup. I think that whatever is right for both you & your family will happen. Who knows if you get up to cairns you might not want to go back home?! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I would say try to be where you want to be within a few months of your bub being born. The friends you make then tend to be friends for life, unless you have old friends having babies at the same time, you tend to find you drift apart. I often think if I'd moved to Australia before having my baby it might have been different, as a full-time working mum of a 5 year old it was challenging to meet people like me - I couldn't do the mummy coffee mornings or the after work drinks (too often!) I had only known my friends in Scotland 4 years when we decided to move to Australia and yet it was these people that stuck with me through thick and thin and welcomed me back with open arms. If you do think you want to move back to the UK still, then I would do it sooner rather than later. If Cairns beckons then I think you would have no difficultly finding your place in the 'mummy mafia' there too but it may make a move back to the UK more difficult later. This is hugely pessimistic but babies can have the habit of tearing relationships apart and if the worse happened you could end up really stuck. I'd ask myself, if I was a single mum where would I want to be? If that's the UK then that's where your heart is and that's your answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helz980 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I would say try to be where you want to be within a few months of your bub being born. The friends you make then tend to be friends for life, unless you have old friends having babies at the same time, you tend to find you drift apart. I often think if I'd moved to Australia before having my baby it might have been different, as a full-time working mum of a 5 year old it was challenging to meet people like me - I couldn't do the mummy coffee mornings or the after work drinks (too often!) I had only known my friends in Scotland 4 years when we decided to move to Australia and yet it was these people that stuck with me through thick and thin and welcomed me back with open arms. If you do think you want to move back to the UK still, then I would do it sooner rather than later. If Cairns beckons then I think you would have no difficultly finding your place in the 'mummy mafia' there too but it may make a move back to the UK more difficult later. This is hugely pessimistic but babies can have the habit of tearing relationships apart and if the worse happened you could end up really stuck. I'd ask myself, if I was a single mum where would I want to be? If that's the UK then that's where your heart is and that's your answer. You hit the nail on the head there...if I were a single mum I know I'd rather be in the UK.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted March 28, 2014 Author Share Posted March 28, 2014 Well, he had his interview on Tuesday and we will find out if he's made it through to the second round of interviews early next week. Most of the questions asked were about management aspects rather than technical, in particular cross-cultural awareness as I think they have a few problems along those lines. He didn't feel hugely confident about the interview, and we get the impression they've had a lot of applications. Problem is now he's a bit disheartened he's started applying for all sorts, mentioned Nevada last night.... Whilst I kind of agree with the 'if I was single where would I want to be' thought process, at the end of the day we are a family and I cannot just put my own needs first. I know I would rather be in the UK, but in this case we are in agreement that the UK is where we will end up, it's not like I'm fighting for that at all. Conversely I know if my OH were single and could live anywhere it would be Canada, but he's not there, he's here with me! So we feel like we're on the verge of starting our journey back to the UK, it's just a case of where we might go on the way back..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Any news yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted April 1, 2014 Author Share Posted April 1, 2014 Well the HR for the PNG job have been asking a few more details about his current visa so he's obviously still in the running. I did think I was going into labour this morning so have a few more pressing things to deal with! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinsmom65 Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Well the HR for the PNG job have been asking a few more details about his current visa so he's obviously still in the running. I did think I was going into labour this morning so have a few more pressing things to deal with! Wishing your OH good luck, and let us know when the new baby arrives. Bet you can't wait. Cheers Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 LOL I can see it now - a job offer and a baby on the same day! That'll be one auspicious day to be sure! All the best with the bub and hope you both have clear heads if the job offer comes in! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 Hi All, Just wanted to let you know I gave birth to our baby girl Abigail Elizabeth on the 11th of April at 2.16am. She weighed 3.46kg and is absolutely gorgeous. I have to say that after initial worries about the health serviuce here, once I was in the hands of my obstetrician (who is English, 66 years old and really knows his stuff!) I felt much happier about the whole thing and my experience at the hospital was great too. All of the midwives were wonderful, although interesting to note that most of them are not Ozzies, my delivery midwives were Greek and English, and there are a fair few from South Africa too. My labour was rather rapid, total active labour time 4.5 hours, gas and air only. I went from 7cm to pushing in the space of four contractions! Took everyone by surprise and I was a bit shell-shocked afterwards but then spent 3 days in hospital as they like to keep you in until milk comes in. So just getting used to motherhood right now, everything is going ok apart from some breastfeeding issues, not helped by the public holidays (the lactation consultants work only on mondays and fridays!). My OH ended up being the preferred candidate for the PNG job. But it turned out they are a PNG based company and couldn't take on our 457 visa. There could possibly have been a way round involving my company taking on our 457 visas and moving to Perth, but we've decided we don't want to do that, so he's pulled out of the application process. It was encouraging for him to know that he was preferred over candidates with 10 years more experience. But we've also decided (since the birth, incidentally!) that FIFO isn't the way forward for us. I suspected his feelings may change following the birth anyway, but it's served as a major reality check. So we'll probably stay put for the time being until a really good opportunity crops up in the UK. Whether that's working for someone else or ourselves, we shall see, but I think now we have more time to make a proper decision and won't rush into anything. Thanks everyone for your thoughts above, it really helps to get others perspectives! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinsmom65 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, Abigail is a beautiful name. So glad mum and baby are doing well. Sounds like things are going well for you. Cheers Karen . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Congratulations. So happy for you and have to agree that FIFO isnt probaby the right choice for you both at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Congratulations and welcome to the world Abigail! Good to hear that things are going well and you can now be clearer about where your priorities lie! A daddy and his little girl are not easily parted!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 Well, we've had some developments. The job market in the UK is pretty terrible in terms of mining/consultancies. The one job OH applied for in Devon we haven't heard back about, all the other are silent too - I don't think they are really considering anyone who isn't physically in the country. But he had an interview for a job in Salt Lake City this morning, and even want to fly him (possibly all of us!!) over for an interview. The package would be base salary of around $100k, 30% potential bonus, relocation (including two lots of flights if we want to go over to find a house first) and decent pension. He hasn't asked about the visa situation yet or whether we would need to be married to get a visa (shotgun wedding anyone?), and if any potential visa would allow me to work. It's not the UK, but it is the northern hemisphere and a lot more accessible for friends/family to visit us. My cousin lives there too, she's just moved there from New Zealand after a quick wedding in Las Vegas! Cost of living looks to be much cheaper as well. Another adventure on the cards?? We would still view it as being a shorter term thing, we both want bubs to have a childhood in the UK, I don't want her to get an American accent! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Hey, that sounds like good news! Yes, the US is closer/more accessible to Europe which would be a big tick for me!! I have no idea about US visas, but would think the partner option would be there much the same as most first world countries. They also sound very on board with what they are offering you, so good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Well, we've had some developments. The job market in the UK is pretty terrible in terms of mining/consultancies. The one job OH applied for in Devon we haven't heard back about, all the other are silent too - I don't think they are really considering anyone who isn't physically in the country. But he had an interview for a job in Salt Lake City this morning, and even want to fly him (possibly all of us!!) over for an interview. The package would be base salary of around $100k, 30% potential bonus, relocation (including two lots of flights if we want to go over to find a house first) and decent pension. He hasn't asked about the visa situation yet or whether we would need to be married to get a visa (shotgun wedding anyone?), and if any potential visa would allow me to work. It's not the UK, but it is the northern hemisphere and a lot more accessible for friends/family to visit us. My cousin lives there too, she's just moved there from New Zealand after a quick wedding in Las Vegas! Cost of living looks to be much cheaper as well. Another adventure on the cards?? We would still view it as being a shorter term thing, we both want bubs to have a childhood in the UK, I don't want her to get an American accent! Wow, SLC! Great for Family History! Sounds like the adventures will continue for a while! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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